Tag: valentine’s day

Header image for Bijoux Indiscrets Bubblegum Play Kit review

[Lube, Cosmetics & Massage Products Review] Bijoux Indiscrets Bubblegum Play Kit

Published on by Amy

One of the fun things about being both a femme and a sex blogger at this time of year is seeing all the sweet, cutesy, pink-and-hearts-and-flowers themed products that companies are putting out for Valentine’s Day. Bijoux Indiscrets were kind enough to send me this year’s Valentine’s offering from their range: the Bubblegum Play Kit.

Bijoux Indiscrets Bubblegum Play Kit

The Bubblegum Play Kit contains three products: a warming massage oil, a full-body massage gel that doubles as a water-based lube, and a lipgloss. Each one is scented and flavoured like bubblegum. All three products, like everything in Bijoux’s range, are vegan.

Bijoux Indiscrets bubblegum play kit

The kit came packaged in a cute pink box with a heart on the front, much like the packaging you might get on a gift set of cosmetics or bath products. The overall effect, like the products themselves, is sweet to the point of saccharine. But how did the contents stack up? Let’s take a closer look at each item.

Warming Massage Oil

Bijoux Indiscrets bubblegum massage oil

This isn’t really an oil in the true sense of the word. As far as I can tell, it doesn’t actually contain any oil at all. It’s really a water-based gel that warms as you massage it in. Still, we’ll call it “massage oil” to distinguish it from the other massage product in this kit.

For me, it takes about a minute to feel the massage oil warming on my skin. You’ll get a more intense warming sensation if you blow gently on it.

I found that it didn’t really blend or get fully absorbed into the skin the way some massage oils do. Instead, it tends to linger on the surface. This can be a good thing, as a little bit goes a long way and there’s no need to keep reapplying it. However, it can also be a problem if you don’t enjoy the feeling of having oil or gel lingering on your skin.

This is by far the nicest tasting of the three products. It’s very, very, very sweet, so you’ll want to know that going on. That sweetness is likely due to its first ingredient: glycerin. Due to the glycerin, I found that my hands and skin felt quite sticky after using it and I wanted to wash it off.

Stickiness aside, though, this is a fine massage gel and the sweet bubblegum taste and pink aesthetic gives it a fun and playful vibe.

You can buy this oil separately for €22/£20. It’s also available in caramel & sea salt and strawberry & honey flavours.

Full Body Massage Gel/Lube

Bijoux Indiscrets bubblegum massage gel/lube

According to Bijoux Indiscrets, this water-based massage gel can double up as an intimate lubricant. It has quite a long list of ingredients, so you’ll want to review it carefully to make sure there’s nothing you’re sensitive to.

I can’t see anything alarming in the ingredients, but I’m also not enough of an expert to declare them all definitely fine. At the very least this gel/lube contains no glycerin or parabens, though it does contain “Aroma” (artificial fragrance/flavour) which is not very specific and can include any number of things.

I do quite like the feeling of this one. It’s somewhere between a thick liquid and a thin gel, and it spreads across the skin nicely and lasts well. However, unlike the massage oil, this gel tastes really unpleasant to me. Instead of sweetness, it’s got a horrible chemical-y taste. I’m quite sensitive to artificial sweeteners and I can really, really taste them in this.

I probably won’t finish this one, honestly. I’m “meh” on flavoured lubes at best to begin with and this isn’t a nice tasting one.

Oral Pleasure Lip Gloss

Bijoux Indiscrets bubblegum lipgloss

This lip gloss is more subtly flavoured than the other two products in the set, but still has a distinctive bubblegum flavour. It’s not quite as sweet as the massage oil (which is probably a good thing for a product that goes directly on your mouth!)

After you apply it, you start getting a tingling sensation thanks to the peppermint oil it contains. I think, based on the name, the idea is that you put it on and then perform oral sex with it. I haven’t had the opportunity to try that but I did try putting a bit on my vulva, just to see what the effect would be. It gave a kinda pleasurable tingly, warming feeling a bit like a warming lube or menthol pleasure balm. So that effect might translate if you used it during oral?

The warming and tingling is really noticeable on my lips, to the point that it becomes uncomfortable if I use too much. You really only need a little bit of this one.

This lipgloss lasts well and gives a nice glossy shine. It’s a little sticky, which wasn’t a problem once it was on but made applying it with my fingers annoying. A brush or wand would be better than the pump top bottle.

Verdict

I generally liked two out of the three products in this kit and will definitely finish them. However, at €60/£54 it’s pretty pricey for what it is. For that reason I don’t think I’d buy it again.

If you have a femme in your life who really likes pink things and bubblegum, though, it could be a cute and sensual Valentine’s Day gift.

Thanks to Bijoux Indiscrets for sending me this product to review! All views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

Womanizer Next review title image

[Toy Review] Womanizer Next

Published on by Amy

Can you believe it’s 10 years since Womanizer released their first Pleasure Air clitoral stimulator into the world? That product brought a whole new category of sex toys into popular consciousness and launched a thousand copycats. To celebrate 10 years, the company has released their latest offering: the Womanizer Next.

How does it stack up? Let’s take a look, shall we?

Womanizer Next Clitoral Suction Stimulator: What’s New?

The Womanizer Next is the latest in Womanizer’s long line of clitoral suction stimulators based on their patented “Pleasure Air” technology. If you’re not familiar with this type of toy, they feature a nozzle that goes over your clit and then stimulates it with rapid air pulses.

The Womanizer Next comes in sleek and sexy packaging that adds to the overall luxury vibe of the product. In the box you’ll find the toy, the charging cable, a storage bag, a spare nozzle, and an instruction leaflet.

Womanizer Next in its packaging

This toy is rechargeable with a full charge taking around 2 hours and giving you about the same in battery life. It’s also IPX7 waterproof (submersible in up to 1 metre of water).

At first glance, the Womanizer Next and Womanizer Premium bear a strong resemblance. They also retail for a similar price: £179.99/$199 for the Premium and £189.99/$219 for the Next. But what’s special about the Next and how is it similar and different from the Premium?

Womanizer Premium and Womanizer Next
The Womanizer Next (right) with the Womanizer Premium

Womanizer Next vs. Premium: Similarities

  • The two toys are the same basic shape, design, and interface, though the Next is slightly larger than the Premium.
  • Both feature a soft, silicone-coated body and body-safe silicone interchangeable nozzles.
  • Both offer 14 intensity settings.
  • Both come with Smart Silence technology (which means the toy will only operate when it’s in close contact with the body) and an Autopilot mode which guides you through a pre-set sequence of stimulation levels.

Womanizer Next vs. Premium: Differences

This is where things get interesting! The Womanizer Next offers an array of new features alongside those old favourites from the Premium.

  • The latest technology enhancement, 3D Pleasure Air, allows you to control not only the speed/intensity of the suction but also the “depth.” With 14 intensity settings and 3 depth settings – controlled by a separate button – it’s highly customisable.
  • The “Afterglow” function allows you to immediately switch to the lowest setting after orgasm.
  • The new, redesigned motor provides slower pulses than previous Womanizer toys and a “linear, up-and-down movement”. Supposedly this provides a more realistic sensation that more closely mimics oral sex (which… we’ll pick apart later.)

Overall, if you’re choosing between the two products, I’d advise you to go for the Next. You’re only paying £10/$20 more, and you get several great new features for that small price difference.

The Next also comes in two new colourways, Sage and Dark Purple, as well as black.

Womanizer Next: Pros

I had high expectations for the Womanizer Next. I’ve tried many Womanizer products over the years and, despite some occasional missteps, there have been far more hits than misses.

Womanizer Next back view

So what were the best things about this one?

  • That depth function! It’s perfect for ramping things up just at the moment when you need a tiny bit more. Each of the three depth settings feels noticeably different on all the toy’s speeds.
  • The Afterglow feature is genuinely brilliant. Many people, including me, find that their clit gets over-sensitive immediately after orgasm. Being able to switch to the lowest setting and continue enjoying a level of stimulation that’s comfortable is a game-changer.
  • The two nozzles provided are slightly different sizes, making the toy suitable for more bodies. The slightly larger one works best for me.
  • I love the slower air pulses, which give a gentler level of stimulation to start with. Great for warm-up or just for high sensitivity days.
  • I can easily use it hands-free just by kinda holding it between my thighs. This is unusual, but suction toys often work best for me with my legs closed rather than spread. I suspect it’s because so much of the focus is on the head of the clit and this position kinda brings everything closer together.
  • The Smart Silence feature isn’t particularly useful to me – I share a house with a partner who knows all about my masturbation habits! – but may be highly useful to those who need to be more discreet.
  • The button placement is intuitive and the interface is simple to use despite the toy’s many features.
  • It works beautifully in water, creating a kind of “swirling” feeling that is absolutely divine.
  • Most importantly, this thing got me off hard and fast. I’ll say this for Womanizer: they’re reliable when it comes to inducing leg-shaking, sheet-soaking, neighbour-scaring orgasms.

Womanizer Next: Downsides

With all of those great things said, was there anything I didn’t like about the Womanizer Next?

  • I still can’t say I see the point of the Autopilot feature. I guess it’s a little more like receiving stimulation from a partner because the toy changes intensity without input from you? However, unlike a partner, the toy cannot respond to your reactions so the changes are essentially random. And if it shifts down at the wrong moment, that seems like a recipe for ruined orgasms and frustration. (Of course, that might be your kink. In which case have fun.)
  • The buttons are not as clicky or easy to press as on previous Womanizer models.
  • I’m annoyed by the “designed for multiple orgasms” marketing. Not everyone can have multiples! Not everyone WANTS to have multiples! Stop being prescriptive. This is less egregious than “orgasm guaranteed” but it’s still… not great.
  • It is not, despite the packaging and product listing’s claims, “noiseless.” Yes, it’s very quiet on the lower settings. However, on the higher settings (and particularly once the top depth settings get involved) I would say it’s average-to-loud.

No, It Still Doesn’t Feel Like Cunnilingus

I’m calling it: it is not possible, with the technology we currently have available, to design a sex toy that accurately and realistically replicates the feeling of receiving cunnilingus.

Yes, using a clit sucker is much closer to cunnilingus than other forms of stimulation (e.g. masturbation with fingers or vibrators.) It kinda sorta resembles the “sucking” motion that a partner might make on your clit. It’s the closest way for me to scratch that particular itch if I’m craving cunnilingus and do not have a willing partner available. However, it cannot replicate the warmth, wetness, or overall feel of a mouth.

I really wish companies would stop marketing toys in this way, because it just feeds unrealistic expectations. This is a great product, but it is not in any meaningful way an “oral sex simulator.” I am sure such a thing will exist one day, but it doesn’t yet.

Verdict

The Womanizer Next is, like many of its predecessors, seriously pricey. However, it does offer a lot of bang for your buck (so to speak) in terms of features, functionality, and effectiveness. It’s a great next generation of an already excellent product and a worthy celebration of Womanizer’s 10th anniversary!

The Womanizer Next is available from Lovehoney UK* and Lovehoney US*, and of course Womanizer themselves.

[*] Use code AFF-COFFKINK10 to get 10% off

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product, which features in their top sex toys for Valentine’s Day! Affiliate links appear in this post. All views are, as always, mine.

Header image for ROMP Lipstick Clitoral Suction Stimulator review

[Toy Review] ROMP Lipstick Clitoral Suction Stimulator

Published on by Amy

ROMP is a toy brand owned by WOW Tech, the parent company behind brands such as Womanizer, We-Vibe, Pjur, and Arcwave. ROMP toys have a fun, playful aesthetic and come in a range of bright, popping colours. I received the ROMP Lipstick Clitoral Suction Stimulator (US link) which features in Lovehoney’s top picks for Valentine’s Day, to test.

ROMP Lipstick Clitoral Suction Stimulator

The ROMP Lipstick Clitoral Suction Stimulator measures 4″ in total length and looks like, well, a tube of lipstick (or other makeup product such as mascara.) It wouldn’t look at all out of place in my makeup bag.

ROMP Lipstick Clitoral Suction Stimulator

The ROMP Lipstick is a clitoral suction stimulator that – like the thousands of other toys in this category now on the market – uses a nozzle opening and rapid pulses of air to provide “touchless” stimulation to the clit. The toy’s body is made of hard plastic, and its nozzle is made of body-safe silicone.

This toy is rechargeable. A full charge (2 hours) gives you around 60 minutes of use on the top setting. It’s also IPX7 waterproof, i.e. submersible in water up to 1 metre for up to 30 minutes.

Things I Like About the ROMP Lipstick

Before I start complaining about all the issues with the ROMP Lipstick Clitoral Suction Stimulator, let’s talk about the things I did like!

ROMP Lipstick Clitoral Suction Stimulator

  • The look. In general, I’m “meh” about the concept of sex toys that are deliberately designed not to look like sex toys. But the aesthetic of this one is cute and fun enough that it gets away with it.
  • It’s small, light, and comfortable to hold.
  • The button placement is sensible (on the base of the toy) and the button itself is clicky and easy to press.
  • It has 7 evenly-graded power settings, which is reasonable for a toy at this price point.
  • It’s pretty quiet, especially when the nozzle is against the body.

That’s about it, I’m afraid.

Anything I Don’t Like?

Ugh. Where do I begin? I really wanted to love this product, because I was drawn to its bright colours and cute design. Unfortunately, I have far more negative than positive to say about the ROMP Lipstick Clitoral Suction Stimulator. Namely…

  • The nozzle is too small! I don’t have a particularly large clit, but I couldn’t even get this thing to enclose it all. The nozzle opening is a tiny 1cm in diameter. If your clit is anything but quite small, I think you’ll struggle with this one.
  • The suction mechanism is – how do I put this nicely? – absolute crap. I didn’t get any of the lovely fluttering sensations that I get from good clit suction toys. Instead, it just felt like a particularly weak and buzzy vibrator.
  • The button isn’t always responsive. About 10-20% of the time, I have to press it twice to get the setting to change.
  • For a toy at this price-point, a one-button interface (meaning you have to scroll through all the settings to go backwards) really isn’t good enough.
  • It’s far too expensive. £49.99/$59.99 is a reasonable price for a mid-range toy, but feels like a rip-off for something as disappointing as this.
ROMP Lipstick Clitoral Suction Stimulator

Worst of all is that I knew within two minutes that this thing was never going to get me off. Even with warm-up and some hot content to read, there was just absolutely no way. To be honest, even when I was turned on and my clit was sensitive and ready to go, this toy didn’t even feel particularly good. If “did not give me an orgasm” is a damning statement to make about a sex toy, “did not even feel good” is pretty unforgiveable.

A final and possibly petty gripe: the packaging tells me I can “cancel my next booty call”. This is an immediate ugh from me because I do not think we should be comparing toys to human partners or framing them as replacements, even in jest. It’s also just ridiculously inaccurate considering the speed with which I threw this thing across the room and reached for something effective to finish the job.

Verdict

The ROMP Lipstick Clitoral Suction Stimulator is, all things considered, tremendously disappointing. Its nozzle is too small, its suction functionality is lacklustre, and there is simply no universe in which it will ever make me cum.

Sadly, I’m chalking this one up as overpriced and underwhelming. Especially because you can get far better clitoral suction toys for the same price (or even less!) Skip it.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product in exchange for an honest review. Affiliate links appear in this post. Using them sends a small commission my way at no extra cost to you!

Header image for Hearts Grind Ring review

[Toy Review] Godemiche Grind Ring “Hearts”

Published on by Amy

Happy Valentine’s Day, loves!

I’m big into showing my love all year round, rather than because it’s a particular date. But with that said, my hopelessly romantic self can’t help but kind of love Valentine’s Day. Any excuse to be adorably in love, right? My nesting partner and I have a tradition of celebrating on the 15th (when the restaurants are quiet and the sushi is cheap!) So today I’ve decided to mark the day in two ways: I’m wearing my “DM Me” heart tights from Snag, and I’m bringing you a review of Godemiche’s new Grind Ring texture, “Hearts”.

What is a Grind Ring and how do you use it?

If you’re new here, you may have missed my previous reviews (part 1 and part 2) of the Grind Ring collection. In Godemiche’s own words:

The Grind Ring is a soft textured piece of body safe silicone that’s shaped like a pizza slice with a bulge for grinding, dare we say it, it’s also more enjoyable then a pizza slice too and way fucking dirtier.

They measure 6 inches in length and 4.3 inches across at the widest point, and feature a stretchy hole for a penis or dildo to fit through at the base.

There are currently six textures available, of which Hearts is the newest addition. I knew I wanted my Hearts Grind Ring in a Valentine’s-themed colour, so I opted for Ruby Rose. It’s a gorgeous and shimmery red/pink, and on the flat back side of the toy you get a beautiful marbling, swirling effect. Here’s what it looks like:

Godemiche Hearts Grind Ring, Valentine's Day sex toy
Back of Godemiche Hearts Grind Ring, Valentine's Day sex toy for women and people with clits

The intended purpose of a Grind Ring is to wear it around the penis or dildo during penetrative sex with someone with a clitoris, so that the receptive partner can grind against it and enjoy additional clitoral stimulation (which, as we know, is essential to reach orgasm for a significant majority of cis women and other people with vulvas).

However, as I’ve discovered, there are numerous other ways to enjoy this toy. While it’s certainly fun to use during P-in-V sex with my partner, I actually mostly use my Grind Rings by placing them on a firm surface (my desk chair is ideal) and grinding against it from a seated position. I also regularly use them as an accessory for hand sex, as that allows me to feel all the lovely texture while having finer control over the pressure and angle. Other good options include using it with a dildo for solo sex, or placing it over the head of a powerful wand vibrator.

As always, the only “right” way to use a toy is the way that feels right for you.

Texture: Hearts

So the Hearts Grind Ring is obviously cute as fuck. But how does it feel in use? I had a feeling I was going to get along well with this one as soon as I saw it, and I wasn’t disappointed. The hearts are sufficiently raised to provide a unique, and moderately intense, sensation. For a point of comparison, I’d describe the Hearts texture as less intense than the Spikes texture but more intense than the Waves or Bumps.

Due to the shape of the hearts, I find this Grind Ring is more intense on the downward motion than on the upward motion. The smooth silicone, coupled with the deeply ridged texture, is divine when paired with tonnes of lube. Of all the Grind Ring textures I’ve now tried, the Hearts is the one that gets me off the most quickly and the most consistently.

I’d recommend this one to people who enjoy firm pressure with their clitoral stimulation. It’s as functional as it is pretty and I’m a little bit in love.

Pro tip: I like to put a little clitoral balm on the toy itself for added intensity.

Godemiche Hearts Grind Ring with Lovehoney clitoral balm
Pictured with Lovehoney Ignite Pleasure Balm.

Verdict

Definitely a toy that’s not just for Valentine’s Day! I just received my Hearts Grind Ring a few days ago and it’s fast becoming an absolute favourite.

You know what else I love about these toys? Apart from the fact that they feel amazing, that is. As far as I can tell, there really isn’t anything else quite like this on the market. Genuine innovation is pretty rare in this industry, where copycat products and occasionally blatant design stealing are rampant. And oftentimes, when a sex toy is original in design, it’s also… kind of terrible. So to come across something that’s both actually innovative and actually good is a breath of fresh air.

The Hearts Grind Ring starts from £34.99. Get one for yourself or your favourite clit owner. You won’t regret it.

Thanks to Godemiche for sending me this product to review. Affiliate links appear in this post. Buying through my links helps to keep the blog going at no additional cost to you. All views, as always, are mine.

Header image for Lovehoney Lotus embroidered black chemise set review

[Lingerie Review] Lovehoney Lotus Embroidered Black Chemise Set

Published on by Amy

I was really spoiled for choice with this year’s Lovehoney Valentine’s Day lingerie offerings; between the flirty red Tiger Lily range, the sophisticated blue Orchid range, and now the classic and sexy black Lotus range including this gorgeous embroidered chemise, there were so many beautiful things to pick from. I decided to branch out and try something I wouldn’t normally pick up – namely the Lotus Embroidered Black Chemise Set.

“Lotus” Take a Closer Look

This Lovehoney chemise set comes with two pieces: the chemise itself and a matching thong. The embroidered chemise features wired quarter cups, bra-style back clasp and straps, and removeable panels to cover your nipples. Its waistband and removeable panels are made of beautiful semi see-through lace with floral embroidery, and the skirt is made of a soft and swishy polyester/elastane blend. The matching thong features a sexy lace panel at the front and a 100% cotton gusset.

Lotus Embroidered Black Chemise from Lovehoney Valentine's Day lingerie

Black lingerie never goes out of style. Though this is part of the Valentine’s Day lingerie line, it’s really a timeless style that will look fabulous any night of the year. The floral lace adds a fun and femme touch, and the hint of skin between the bra cup and lace panel ups the sexiness.

Close up of Lovehoney embroidered black chemise lace

I also really love the shape of this piece. I’m confident about my waist and less confident about my stomach, and this chemise emphasises the former while drawing attention away from the latter.

Lovehoney Chemise Set: Fit and Comfort

The Lovehoney Lotus Chemise Set comes in sizes from UK6 up to UK30. I received the Medium (UK10/12 equivalent). Unfortunately, every time I order an item of lingerie with underwires, I remember why I usually don’t. While the rest of the piece fits me well, hugging my waist and reaching just to the bottom of my butt, the cups are far, far too small.

I understand that lingerie like this can’t come in every possible permutation of body size + cup size. That’d make each item unreasonably expensive and probably result in a lot of unsold stock. Unfortunately, this reality means that designers have to make some assumptions regarding average cup sizes in relation to body size. And I’m aware that my size 12 frame/G cup boobs combo isn’t exactly typical. The result, though, is that the overwhelming majority of lingerie with wires just isn’t going to work for my body.

I can sort of get the Lotus Embroidered Black Chemise to work for me with some very careful adjustment to how the quarter cups and embroidered panels sit. But even then, things keep slipping out of place, meaning that either my boobs fall out or I get poked in the ribcage with a wire that’s really too small for my chest.

The Lovehoney Lotus Chemise is adjustable in a couple of places. The bra clasp features 3 settings, and you can make the straps longer or shorter to suit you. There’s a good amount of stretch to the thong’s waistband, too, so that should work for most bodies that fall within the size range.

Comfort-wise, I have no complaints beyond the sizing issues and the fact that I really don’t like wire. The mesh skirt is super soft and the lace is skin-friendly and non scratchy.

Lotus Embroidered Chemise: Verdict

Beautiful… as long as your boobs will fit in it! If you’re small to average chested, this is a gorgeous piece in a classic, sexy design. If you’re larger chested, though, I can’t wholeheartedly recommend it as you’re likely to encounter the same fit issues as I did.

I really wish this one worked for me, because I really do love the style. Unfortunately, I think I’ll be passing it on to a smaller-chested friend, and continuing to gravitate towards more boob-friendly styles such as some bodysuits and wireless pieces.

The Lotus Embroidered Black Chemise Set retails for $54.99 from Lovehoney US.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this piece in exchange for an honest review. All views, as always, are mine.

Heart shaped gift box with a vibrator and pair of pink handcuffs. Header for a post about buying your lover a sex toy for Valentine's Day

Sex Toys for Valentine’s Day Gifts: Yes or No?

Published on by Amy

Flowers and chocolates might be the most traditional tokens of love on February 14th, but have you ever thought about sex toys for Valentine’s Day gifts for your lover instead?

I love Valentine’s Day. And look, I know I probably shouldn’t. I know it’s a manufactured and over-commercialised holiday. But at the end of the day, it gives me an excuse to surprise my loved ones… and to wear a bunch of pink, girly, sparkly shit with hearts all over it. (Who am I kidding? I do that all year round.)

But if you’re looking for sexy gift ideas, should you give your partner(s) or lover(s) sex toys for Valentine’s Day?

Sex Toy Gifts: Yay or Nay?

I’m going to say yes… with caveats.

First of all, please only even think about doing this for established sexual partners[*]. Giving your sweetie a vibrator can be cute and flirtatious. Giving one to your office crush (or – and I swear to God I saw this happen once – putting one in the office Secret Santa) is creepy as fuck sexual harassment.

In the right context, I think sex toys can be fabulous gifts. And the right context for that is:

  • You’re in some kind of established sexual relationship with the person[*]
  • You have checked in and established that sexualised gifts are welcome
  • You know they either like sex toys or are interested in trying them
  • You have a good enough understanding of their needs, likes, dislikes, preferences, and fantasies to pick out something with reasonable certainty that they’ll like it

If all of those things are true? Read on.

[*] There are very occasional exceptions to this, in that some non-sexual friendships are close and intimate enough that this wouldn’t be weird. There are definitely friends in my life I’d buy sex toys for and vice versa. But if you’re not extremely certain that this is the kind of friendship you have, you probably don’t. If in doubt, err on the side of getting them something safer.

Buying Sex Toys for Valentine’s Day: How to Do It Right

So you’ve decided that you do want to buy your partner, sweetie, or lover a sex toy for Valentine’s Day. How do you know what to choose? With so many thousands of products out there, all of them promising orgasms for days, which one should you buy for your sexy someone? These are a few of my simple shopping tips.

Tap Into What You Know About Their Preferences

Does your partner enjoy penetration, and if so do they prefer large or small insertables? Are they more into girth or length? Does she need really intense clitoral stimulation to get off? Are they all about their cock, or super into anal play? Do they love dual stimulation of two or more erogenous zones at once, or prefer to focus on one thing at a time? You need to know these sorts of basic things about your lover’s body and sexual preferences before you can successfully buy them a toy.

Aesthetic preferences matter for a lot of people, too. Would your partner like a realistic dildo, or is something colourful and sparkly more their vibe? How do they feel about fantasy aesthetics? Some people love pink, others hate it.

This stuff isn’t that hard to learn when you’re in an intimate relationship with someone. You just need to be paying attention and asking the right questions.

Finally, don’t forget about the practicalities of the toy you’re thinking of buying. They probably wouldn’t thank you for a 42lb sex doll if they live in a tiny apartment or a vibrator that sounds like a plane taking off (or a lawnmower) if they have nosy roommates.

Their Preferences, Not Yours

If there’s one mistake that I see people make more than any other when choosing sex toys for Valentine’s Day or any other gifting occasion, it’s this: instead of buying something their partner will love, they buy something they like the idea of their partner using.

There’s no point buying them a super large or extra-long dildo if they’re all about clitoral stimulation. You might like the idea of anal sex, but if they’re not into it then even the best butt plugs aren’t going to see any action. Perhaps tentacles turn you on but turn them right off.

This is a gift for them, so centre them and their needs.

Ask For Advice

People who work in adult retail and the sex toy industry are generally pretty knowledgeable. Why not go into your local sex toy shop or get in touch with your favourite retailer and ask for some buying guidance?

You’ll need to put in the work here. “What toy should I buy for my husband?” or “what are the best toys for women?” is far too vague for you to get any useful information. But narrow it down a bit and say something like, “I’m looking for a non-realistic insertable toy that also has powerful vibrations”, and you’ll get somewhere useful.

Hell, if you want, contact me and tell me a little about your budget, your needs, and the person you’re shopping for and I’ll send you a free recommendation (buying me a coffee to say thanks or shopping with my affiliate links is highly appreciated but not mandatory!)

If In Doubt, Ask

You can simply ask your partner overtly, if you want. “I was thinking I’d love to buy you a new sex toy for Valentine’s Day. Would you be into that? Is there anything you’ve got your eye on?” A lot of people would happily sacrifice the surprise element in exchange for giving or receiving the ideal gift.

Of course, you might want the gift to be a surprise. If so, you’ll have to do some subtler sleuthing. Bring up the idea of toys when the two of you are talking about fantasies, desires, and new things to try. If you ever browse sex shops together or look at toys online, see what sorts of things they gravitate towards.

Still Not Sure? Get a Gift Card.

Most sex shops, both brick-and-mortar and online, sell gift cards. If you’re not sure what your partner would like, a voucher for a reputable sex shop is a great way to give them the gift of sex toys for Valentine’s Day without having to guess.

This way, they can go and pick something out solo or you can make it a fun and sexy date activity.

If you’re looking for a sexy gift you can enjoy together that’s not a toy, something like couples’ chocolate is a great option. It’s an experience and a physical present all in one.

Pro Tip: Proceed With Caution with Prepackaged “Gift Bundles”

When I wrote an earlier draft of this post, I told people looking to buy sex toys for Valentine’s Day that they should skip bundles and kits altogether. Happily, these seem to have generally improved in the last few years so I’m updating this post to say that you don’t necessarily need to avoid them. They can offer variety and value for money. However, I still say you should proceed carefully.

A sex toy kit can be a good choice if you’re new to toys and not sure what to pick, or if you happen to be after two or more things and can find them bundled together. If you and your partner are curious about or new to BDSM, a BDSM starter kit can be a fun, sexy gift to start off your explorations together.

If you’re choosing a product bundle or sex toy kit, make sure that everything in it is body-safe. Avoid toxic materials and choose only body-safe options like silicone, stainless steel, or glass. Compare prices, too, to make sure you’re actually getting a good deal.

One Final Word of Caution on Buying Sex Toys for Valentine’s Day

Please, please, please don’t buy sex toys or kink gear from places like Amazon, Shein, Temu, and so on. You have almost no way of being sure that what you’re getting is genuine, and chances are high that it isn’t. In a broadly unregulated industry, there is no way to know what that $5 vibrator is made of but it probably isn’t anything good. And many unscrupulous companies ramp up their marketing of adult products on these sites around this time of year.

Also those companies commit gross labour rights violations (including the use of forced and child labour) and are killing the planet. So, you know, there’s that.

Some reputable companies do, unfortunately, insist on operating Amazon storefronts. But in general, the risk of getting an unsafe knock-off is so high that it’s just not worth it. Instead, visit your local women-owned or queer-owned sex shop, or check out the stores I recommend in the sidebar.

Affiliate links appear in this post. All opinions are, as always, my own!

Header for a review of the Godemiche Be My Valentine Ambit dildo

[Toy Review] Godemiche Ambit: Be My Valentine Limited Edition

Published on by Amy

Update 30/10/23: this limited edition version is no longer available, but the Godemiche Ambit silicone dildo is still available in a huge range of styles and colours!

I first encountered Godemiche’s beautiful, unique, colourful and fun silicone dildos at my first Eroticon. So I was delighted when they offered me the Ambit silicone dildo to try out and review. I received this gorgeous limited-edition Valentine’s Day version.

Godemiche Ambit: What You Need to Know

The Godemiche Ambit is made of body-safe silicone and measures 6″ in total length and 1.6″ at the widest point. It has a generous curve and a large, round base, which makes it harness-compatible and also anal-safe. The moment I saw this toy, all I wanted to do was fuck another pretty femme with it.

The Be My Valentine edition of the Godemiche Ambit is sparkly white and purple and adorned with little hearts (which are suspended in the silicone, not stuck on the outside.) My femme heart squealed with delight at this one.

The Ambit In Use

The Godemiche Ambit’s silicone is soft, matte, and flexible. The curve of the shaft and bulge at the head gives it a semi-realistic appearance. The tip’s angle is just right to deliver intense and focused G-spot stimulation.

I also found this dildo to be pretty much the perfect size for me. I’m not particularly into very large toys, and lengthy dildos in particular can be uncomfortable. I found the medium length and slimline shaft of the Ambit just about perfect.

Verdict

From my perspective at least, the Godemiche Ambit is basically the perfect dildo. It’s the perfect size, the perfect shape, and comes in a myriad of fun and playful colours.

The Ambit retails from £34.99 for the medium and £44.99 for the large. Additions such as a suction cup, vac-u-lock hole, vibrator, or custom colours cost extra.

Thank you to Godemiche for sending me this toy in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.