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[Toy Review] Funzze Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo

Published on by Amy

Funzze is a relatively new brand on my radar, having only previously tried one of their toys at the time of writing. However, they do have some interesting things in their catalogue, so I was happy to agree to doing another set of reviews. This week, we’re looking at the Funzze Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo.

Funzze Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo Details

The Funzze Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo is described as “a stainless steel G spot dildo with a sinuous shape, equipped with 2 insertable ends that offer different sensations.” That’s a pretty accurate summary. (Sinuous, FYI, means “having many curves and turns” and is just a very pleasing word to say.)

Funzze double-ended stainless steel dildo

One end of the dildo is a smooth curve with a bulbed head, and the other end has four rippling beads. The Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo measures 8.5″ end to end and a slimline 1.5″ in diameter at the widest part of the beads.

In terms of comparisons, it’s somewhat similar to the famous Njoy Fun Wand. However, the curve is less pronounced, the bulbs flow together rather than being completely distinct and separate pieces, and the head is a different shape. As such, I feel comfortable calling this a similar design rather than a copycat or a ripoff. At the end of the day, there are a lot of similar toys out there from different manufacturers and true innovation is rare in this industry.

Let’s Talk About Stainless Steel for a Minute

This toy is made of 304 grade stainless steel, which is a hardwearing, non-porous, and body-safe material. You can use it in water, boil-wash it to sterilise, and use it with any kind of lube you like.

304 is a cheaper alternative to 316 stainless steel, which contains higher levels of the element molybdenum. Molybdenum increases the corrosion resistance of stainless steel as well as increasing its heat resistance at high temperatures, neither of which are likely to be particularly relevant for sex toy use under normal circumstances.

Both 304 and 316 stainless steel contain some amount of nickel, a common allergen. Interestingly, according to the Nickel Institute, there’s a sex difference in play here. This organisation says that 15-16% of women but only around 4-5% of men suffer from nickel allergic contact dermatitis (NACD).

So is 304 stainless steel safe if you have a nickel allergy? The information I could find on this one was mixed. Some sources state that 304 and 316 stainless steels are effectively hypoallergenic. The Nickel Institute says:

For example, nickel-containing stainless steels are used by high quality watch manufacturers. Such high quality stainless steels contain 9% to 28% nickel but do not release sufficient amounts of nickel to cause a nickel allergy.

Some additional sources agree that the risk is minimal. Others, however, state that stainless steels can cause an allergic reaction in people with a nickel allergy. The sources I consulted were even mixed on whether or not 304 and 316 stainless steels were safe for use in body piercing.

Ultimately, you will need to decide on your own safety profile and level of acceptable risk. Personally, given that you’re presumably going to be inserting it into highly sensitive areas of the body and it will certainly make contact with mucus membranes, I wouldn’t risk using a stainless steel dildo if you have a nickel allergy. If you feel comfortable with the risk or know from experience that these toys are okay for you, though, have at it.

What I Liked About the Funzze Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo

Funzze double-ended stainless steel dildo

With all of that said, it was time to dive into trying out the Funzze Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo. Let’s look at the things I liked about it first.

  • The double-ended design means that this stainless steel dildo is essentially two toys in one. As such, it offers a variety of different sensations to explore.
  • I love the slim shaft. Due to their hardness, stainless steel toys can be seriously intense, even for experienced users. Too much girth would make this toy either uncomfortable or just unusable for me, so the slender design is perfect.
  • The pronounced head on the smoother end is ideal for targeting the G-spot or prostate. The rippled end is fantastic for lovers of texture. (Pro tip: if thrusting with this toy is too intense for you or feels uncomfortable, try either wiggling it very gently or just holding it in place and allowing your body’s muscles to contract around it.)
  • The weight! One of the things that makes stainless steel so irresistible for sex toys is the sheer heft it offers. While this can make use more challenging for some, it also offers amazing pay-off in terms of how the toy feels. If you want intensity and lots of it, you’ve come to the right place.
  • Stainless steel conducts temperature better than almost any other sex toy material. Want to play with some different sensations? Run your toy under warm water or pop it in the fridge for a few minutes before playing.
  • It arrived in cardboard packaging (recyclable and minimising single-use plastic) and comes with a storage bag included.
  • It’s quick and easy to clean.
  • It retails for $69.99 (around £54), which is super good value for a stainless steel toy of this size.

Inevitably, I’m going to be asked if the Funzze Stainless Steel Dildo is anal-safe. I’m a little torn on this one, because it does not technically have a large flared base. So after much deliberation, I’m settling on “probably.” It’s most likely fine as long as you use one end as a handle and insert no more than 50% of the toy at a time. Realistically, it’s also large and heavy enough that the entire toy isn’t going to get sucked up inside you without some serious effort. However, due to the shape, I advise against doing very deep penetration with this one.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

I really have no major criticisms of this product. Overall it’s a great design, excellent value, and a pleasure to use.

The finish on this dildo isn’t as perfectly smooth and shiny as you’ll find on some of the higher end stainless steel toys on the market. However, it’s also quite significantly less expensive than the prices that some of the more well-known and premium brands charge.

In a perfectly ideal world I would have preferred a slightly more pronounced curve, particularly to the smoother end of the dildo. This would make it more effective for very targeted G-spot or prostate stimulation. However, this is really more a matter of personal preference than a criticism of the toy. Bodies are all different, and this toy’s gentle curve will be ideal for some users.

Verdict

When I initially saw this toy, I was a little sceptical due to the relatively low price. However, the Funzze Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo is an excellent product and an affordable alternative to some of those high-ticket toys that are out of reach for many would-be users.

The Funzze Double-Ended Stainless Steel Dildo retails for $69.99.

Thanks to Funzze for sending me this product and sponsoring this review. All views, as always, are mine. Product images by Funzze.

Two gay men kissing and embracing on a bed. Header image for FusyFun WAVE review

[Toy Review] FusyFun WAVE Anal Toy for Two

Published on by Amy

Dual stimulation toys for people with vulvas, from rabbit vibrators to wearable toys and much more, have been abundant for a long time. However, there are far fewer dual stim toys for those with penises out there. That’s why, when FusyFun reached out to me, I was excited to check out their “WAVE” dual stim (and shareable) anal toy.

What is the FusyFun WAVE?

The FusyFun WAVE is a vibrating toy designed for anal and penis stimulation. However, it’s a bit of a misnomer to call this a “dual stim” toy; in certain configurations, it can also stimulate the perineum and the balls, making it a triple or even quadruple stimulation toy!

FusyFun WAVE in box with remote control and cable

It has four main parts: an egg shaped bulb with some gently rippled texturing, a raised textured ridge, a stretchy ring, and a long tail with a rigid vibrating nub at the top. It measures 14.88″ in total length, with the insertable bulb measuring 2.56″ in length and 1.3″ in diameter.

FunyFun WAVE laid flat with remote control

The WAVE is made of body-safe silicone in dark blue. It also comes with a plastic remote control.

There’s a little “how to” video on the product page which can help if, like me, you initially struggle to envision how this toy is supposed to work when you unbox it. It covers both solo and partnered use. (The video also covers consent and communication, as well as use of condoms and lube for safer sex, which was a nice unexpected touch!)

The FusyFun WAVE is USB rechargeable, with a 90 minute charge giving around 60 minutes of use time. Its remote requires one CR2032 battery, which is included. The toy is IPX6 waterproof, meaning that it can withstand jets of water but should not be submerged. In other words, it’s fine to wash it under the tap and it’s probably fine to use it in the shower. Don’t take it in the bath (/pool/any other large body of water you might be having sex in) though! The remote control is also not waterproof.

How the WAVE Works

In a nutshell: the bulb end goes into your anus. The stretchy ring can then sit around either your penis or balls, holding the long thin tail and vibrating tip against either the top or underside of your penis.

FusyFun WAVE how-to image
Image: FusyFun

If you like, you can penetrate your partner with your penis and the toy’s tail, adding a little extra girth as well as some internal vibrations for their prostate or G-spot (depending on what type of body they have.) The instructions are weirdly gendered but they don’t need to be; regardless of whether you’re penetrating a vagina or an anus, the toy works in pretty much exactly the same way.

Things I Liked About This Toy

FunyFun WAVE

The most obvious thing I like about this toy is that its design is something new and innovative that I haven’t seen before. In a world of endless reiterations of the same basic toy designs, I always get excited when I see something a bit creative and different. The FusyFun WAVE is a really creative approach to stimulating multiple erogenous zones at the same time. In particular, I love that it allows for stimulation of the perineum, an underrated and potentially highly pleasurable area of the body on folks of all genders.

I also love the versatility of the FusyFun WAVE. Not only is it suitable for both solo and shared play, there are also several different ways to use it in each configuration. You can experiment with different positions, and even use the different parts of the toy entirely differently from the “standard” ways if you like.

Some of the other key things I liked about this toy included:

FunyFun WAVE cock ring close up being stretched

  • It came packaged in an attractive and sturdy branded box. It also comes with a storage bag.
  • The matte silicone is lovely and soft, and feels high quality.
  • The main motor is really good! It’s strong and fairly rumbly.
  • The bendable tail stays in whatever position you put it in. This allows you to position it in exactly the right way for your body, and it won’t move until you want it to.
  • If you position it right, you can use this toy hands-free, keeping your hands available to do other things.
  • The texturing, both on the insertable bulb and the perineum stimulator, is excellent. It’s at the perfect level, in my opinion: pronounced enough to feel it, but gentle enough so as not to be uncomfortable.
  • The super-stretchy ring will accommodate most penis and testicle sizes.
  • The insertable bulb is small enough to be non-intimidating and accessible to newer anal players.
  • The buttons are easy to press and the toy is highly responsive to the remote controls.
  • It is fairly quiet in use, particularly once the bulb end is inside the body.
  • The $75 price point is very reasonable for the quality.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

Along with all the things I liked about the FusyFun WAVE, there were also a few small things I didn’t like so much.

  • The controls are a little confusing until you get the hang of them. The button on the toy itself only seems to switch on and control the insertable vibrating bulb. The remote allows you to control the bulb and the small vibrating tip independently. You’ll need to remember which button controls which motor, though, or you risk turning the wrong one off at just the wrong moment.
  • The vibrations in the small tip are very weak and buzzy. This is a real shame considering how good the vibrations in the insertable part are! As it is, it feels like the second motor is a bit of an afterthought.
  • The vibrations that transmit to the perineum portion are pretty weak, too. An additional motor here would fix this issue.

FusyFun WAVE: Verdict

FusyFun WAVE anal toy demonstrated on a purple silicone dildo
Stunt cock: Lovehoney Lifelike Lover

This toy really surprised me, in a good way! I was a little unsure about the concept, but it’s actually such a good design overall. Some tweaking to make the controls a little more intuitive and improving the smaller motor in the tip could easily turn the FusyFun WAVE from a really good product into a truly excellent one.

The FusyFun WAVE retails for $75.

Thanks to FusyFun for sending me this product and sponsoring this review. All views are, as always, my own.

Header image for a post on home dungeon design: a bondage bed with black leather handcuffs on chains and a St Andrews cross on the wall behind

Bondage Bed, Suspension Points, and More: 8 Things I’d Want in My Dream Home Dungeon

Published on by Amy

Did you see that Netflix series How to Build a Sex Room? Like millions of other kinksters, I watched it and it got me thinking about what my own “sex room” might look like. In a world where I had a much bigger house than I do and an unlimited interior design budget, one of the first things I’d do would be to construct a badass playroom or home dungeon. And of course, from a bondage bed and sex swing to suspension points and toy storage solutions, I’ve put a lot of thought into this concept and what I’d want to include in my dungeon.

It goes without saying that you don’t need tonnes of amazing kit to do BDSM. Your first and best tool in constructing scenes is your imagination. But one of the reasons I enjoy going to clubs and public play spaces is to use the kit I don’t have access to at home. I suspect the same is true for a lot of kinksters who play at clubs, dungeons and parties.

So just for fun, let’s do a little kink-meets-interior-design. If I could build my dream home dungeon, what would I put in it?

Hard Points for Suspension and More

Suspension points are absolutely essential if you want to do any kind of shibari or bondage that includes someone coming off the ground. You can get portable suspension frames (I actually have one in bits in my spare room right now!) but properly ceiling-mounted hard points are safer, more space-efficient, and less effort to set up. I’d definitely install one in my home dungeon.

Suspension points (AKA hard points) aren’t just for rope, either. You can also use them for other things, such as mounting a sex swing.

Speaking of which…

A Sex Swing

Sex swings are so versatile and a great alternative to beds for a home dungeon with limited space. They allow you to get into all kinds of positions safely and comfortably that would not otherwise be possible. They’re great for trying out different positions for penetrative sex (either with a bio-cock or a strap-on) but you can also use them for oral sex, kink scenarios, and more.

I actually own a door-mounted sex swing, but it has never come out of its packaging for the simple reason that I do not trust the structural integrity of my very old house’s doors that much. It feels like a recipe for injury. So a proper sex swing that I could mount on safe, load-rated hard points would be amazing.

A Bondage Bed: The Ultimate Home Dungeon Sex Accessory

The awesome thing about bondage beds is they’re not just one thing. Despite the name, a bondage bed in your home dungeon can also be a table or flat surface, a restraint rack, an alternative to a St Andrews cross for standing impact play, a surface for sex, and much more. You can even use it in conjunction with other items of dungeon furniture to create just about anything your kinky heart desires. For example, why not add a toy mount or a wand harness, which can hold a toy in place against the bottom’s body while keeping the top’s hands free to do other things?

The possibilities are limited only by your imagination, your and your partner’s boundaries, and the laws of physics. A good bondage bed will also be able to accommodate all body types, no matter your size or weight.

I’d love a customisable bondage bed for my home dungeon. I think I’d really enjoy getting cuffed to it for a flogging, or using it with the toy mount for edging and denial scenes. Given the size, it would also be ideal for group scenes. I think it would be super fun to cuff two submissives to it in a face to face position, making them each watch what’s happening to the other one. Exhibitionism, voyeurism, anticipation, and a little light fear play all in one… fun, no?

A Spanking Bench

The humble spanking bench always seems to be one of the most-used bits of kit whenever I go to a dungeon or play party. A spanking bench allows the bottom to hold a bent-over position for impact play more easily. It can help the bottom to stay comfortable and prevent them moving around too much, give the top a clear spot to aim for, and enhance feelings of vulnerability and humiliation if you’re into that.

My ideal spanking bench would be one of those lovely wooden, leather-padded ones that comes with built-in restraints for the wrists, ankles, and upper body.

A Bondage Wheel

One of my favourite local dungeons has one of these, and I absolutely love it. It’s a padded, wall-mounted wheel with restraints to strap a person to in an upright position. You can then tilt it in any direction, or even spin it all the way around.

Bondage wheels are fun for all kinds of reasons. You can immobilise your partner and move them around at will to try out different activities or reach different parts of their body. If disorientation is something you like to play with, combining a bondage wheel with sensory deprivation play can create a very intense experience.

They’re also a fun way to experiment with inversion (being upside down) in a way that you can get out of in seconds if you need to.

Practical, Wall-Mounted Home Dungeon Toy Storage Solutions

When designing the perfect kinky play space, practicality is at least as important as aesthetics. To that end, I’d make use of wall-mounted toy storage solutions.

I have to credit sex and mental health writer JoEllen Notte for the genius idea of using a wall-mounted wine rack to store wand vibrators. I’d love to display my wands this way in my hypothetical home dungeon! (JoEllen is also the person who gave me the idea of repurposing door-hanging shoe holders with multiple pockets, which I now use to store both my sex toys and my hair and beauty products!)

I’d also love to have some beautiful wooden or metal hooks on the walls to store my floggers, paddles, and other large impact toys as well as coils of rope and cuff sets.

Home Dungeon Style: Erotic Art & Decor

I have a growing collection of erotic art in my office and bedroom, from shibari-themed embroidery to a sapphic BDSM print to an incense holder shaped like a vulva. I’d love to expand this collection a lot more, and I feel like my home dungeon would be the perfect place to show this off. My dream would be to invest in commissioning my favourite kinky and sex-positive artists to create some custom work for the space.

As far as colour schemes, I’m thinking dark wood furniture and splashes of dark plum purple and rich teal green. Less “red room of pain” and more “high-end hotel suite… but make it kinky.”

Aftercare Corner

Aftercare is one of the most crucial parts of a good kink scene. Good aftercare helps the players to ground, regroup, and connect to each other again as equal humans after intense play. It can also help to reduce sub drop/Top drop. My dungeon would have a cosy aftercare corner with a comfortable sofa, warm blankets, and maybe a mini-fridge well stocked with water and snacks for a post-play pick-me-up.

FYI: this post was sponsored. All views and writing are, as always, my own.

Womanizer Vibe review header featuring close-up of a woman in mint green lingerie

[Toy Review] Womanizer Vibe

Published on by Amy

Womanizer are best known for their high-end clitoral suction toys. From the travel-friendly Liberty to the revolutionary Next, Enhance, and many more, I’ve loved many of their products over the years. So when I saw they were releasing a vibrator, I immediately knew that a Womanizer Vibe review was in my near future.

What is the Womanizer Vibe?

Womanizer Vibe in box

It’s a vibe. By Womanizer. Yeah, the name pretty much does what it says on the tin with this one.

Specifically, the Womanizer Vibe is a vibrator shaped like many of the iconic Womanizer suction toys I’ve reviewed, with a tapered handle and a rounded end. This end is normally where the suction nozzle would go, but instead we get a kind of hooked head with a central ridge leading to a gentle point. The entire toy measures around 6″ in length.

Womanizer Vibe in green

The main body of the Womanizer Vibe is soft, body-safe silicone and the bottom part of the handle is plastic. Mine is a gorgeous mint green colour. It also comes in blue and pink. The Vibe is IPX-7 waterproof and rechargeable with the included magnetic USB cable. Its running time is around 90 minutes.

According to the product page, the Womanizer Vibe is specifically “designed to be less intense than a pin-point clitoral vibrator.” We’ll get into more of my thoughts on that below.

Womanizer Vibe Review: What I Liked

When I received this toy, I showed the box to Mr C&K. “This toy is described as noiseless,” I said. “That’s obviously going to be laughably untrue, but how laughably untrue do you think it’s going to be?”

Well, fuck me because Womanizer have just made me eat my words. Now it isn’t really technically accurate that the Womanizer Vibe is “noiseless”—it does make some sound—but this thing is seriously, seriously quiet. It’s the kind of low, unobtrusive hum that could come from a household appliance, fan, or air conditioner. No-one is hearing this toy outside your closed bedroom door unless your walls are made of paper. So yes, it is as close to noiseless as I believe it is possible for a vibrator to get.

Womanizer Vibe back side showing buttons

What else did I like about the Womanizer Vibe?

  • The Womanizer Vibe is literally the rumbliest toy I’ve ever tried and reviewed. This thing gives the kind of deep, penetrating rumbles that very few toys manage. Apparently this is due to something called “UltraWave Vibration.”
  • Its shape is absolutely brilliant. The broad, smooth sides allow for all-over stimulation, while the central ridge and slightly raised edges offer more precision. Personally, my favourite way to use it is to place the central tip against my clit.
  • With its broad back and raised head, it is ideal for placing on a bed or other surface and grinding against.
  • The tapered handle is comfortable to hold.
  • It has an intuitive and simple three-button interface.
  • Apart from the easily-avoidable Autopilot sillyness (more on that below), there are no annoying patterns. Just 10 speeds of constant vibration.
  • It came beautifully packaged in a box that wouldn’t look out of place containing a piece of high-end tech.
  • It’s gorgeous. Of course, form matters less than functionality when it comes to sex toys, but it doesn’t hurt when they’re pretty and in one of my favourite colours.

The Womanizer Vibe is not the most powerful toy on the market. In fact, Womanizer specifically markets it as being less intense than some of the other products out there. Even so, turns out that rumbles are more important than sheer intensity alone. The orgasms I have with this toy are a slower build than with many of the other vibrators in my collection, but

Anything I Didn’t Like?

I really had to scramble for anything negative to include in my Womanizer Vibe review. Sure, in a totally ideal world I would have liked it to go a notch or two more powerful. But it’s so rumbly that I don’t really miss the extra insensity.

Womanizer Vibe in green held in a woman's hand

A remote control might also have been nice. This vibrator was made for grinding against, and it’s tricky to change the setting when it’s underneath you. A remote would solve this.

I also think the “Autopilot” functions are a bit silly. I don’t want the toy controlling what sensations I feel unless the toy can register and understand my reactions and respond according. (Which, as a concept, sounds equal parts seriously fucking cool and like a Black Mirror episode.) Needless to say it cannot, so instead it’s just a bunch of random intensity changes and the risk of ruining my orgasm. No thank you.

Womanizer Vibe Review: Verdict

This is an excellent vibrator.

The Womanizer Vibe is likely to particularly suit those with sensitive clits, anyone who prefers very rumbly vibrations, and those who enjoy a more all-over, less pinpoint type of clitoral stimulation.

The Womanizer Vibe retails for £119.99 at Lovehoney UK and $129 at Lovehoney US.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Womanizer Vibe to review! All views are my own. Affiliate links appear in this post and you can get 10% off any Lovehoney order with my code AFF-COFFKINK10.

Tracy's Dog review header image for Surreal lipstick vibrator

[Toy Review] Tracy’s Dog Surreal App-Controlled Lipstick Vibrator

Published on by Amy

Even those who are nowhere near as deep in the world of sex toys as I am might have heard of Tracy’s Dog [1]. One Amazon user went slightly viral back in 2019 for her hilarious Tracy’s Dog review. Of her experience using the OG Sucking Vibrator, the anonymous woman wrote: “My legs went straight out like those goats who faint when scared.”

Honestly, I should probably hang up my keyboard right now. I am literally a professional sex toy reviewer and yet nothing I ever write will be as succinctly, brilliantly descriptive and hilarious as that line.

As it is, however, I’m not going anywhere and I am back with my latest Tracy’s Dog review. This time I’m looking at the Surreal bullet vibrator. Did it match up to the lofty heights of the company’s previous viral sensation?

Tracy's Dog vibrator box

[1] Apparently this objectively incredibly strange name came about because the company wanted their toys to become “faithful and loyal companions”. Like… well, like a dog. No, I don’t get it, either.

Tracy’s Dog Surreal: What Is It?

The Tracy’s Dog Surreal, which I received to review this week, is a lipstick-shaped bullet vibrator with app-controlled functionalities and a single control button on the toy itself. It measures just over 3.5″ in total length, weights a petite 197g, and has a broad base that enables it to stand up.

Tracy's Dog Surreal lipstick vibrator

This toy is made of body-safe silicone in bright red. It is USB rechargeable and waterproof, and offers 10 different vibration settings (3 constant speeds and 4 patterns.)

The Surreal works with an app, the bafflingly-named “Monster Party” which as far as I can tell appears to be a generic “interactive platform with adults” that connects up with various different sex toys.

What I Liked About the Surreal

Let’s start the review by talking about what I liked about the Tracy’s Dog Surreal—which, despite some issues I had with it that we’ll cover in the next section, is actually quite a lot!

  • The silicone is soft and the basic construction of the toy appears to be solid.
  • The lipstick design is cute and the bright red colour is vibrant and attractive.
  • It arrived attractively packaged in a sturdy box with a magnetic fastener and no single-use plastic.
  • I really like the shape. The broad shaft, flat end, and pinpoint tip of the lipstick design allow for different types of stimulator.
  • The broad base makes it comfortable to hold and use. Its petite size and light weight will make it easy and manageable for most users.
  • The button is large, well-placed, and easy to press.
  • It comes with a plastic case that slides over the toy like the top part of a lipstick tube. This is great for travel and for keeping the toy hygienic in storage, preventing it from picking up dust and lint if it’s sitting in a drawer for a while. Honestly, if you prefer a more rigid surface to your toys and don’t mind the extra little bit of dampening to the vibrations, you can even use it with the plastic cover on.
Surreal lipstick vibrator for Tracy's Dog review

  • In theory (more on that in a minute) it has app-control functionalities. This means you can hand over control to a partner from anywhere in the world.
  • Being waterproof makes it bath/shower friendly as well as super easy to clean. Being waterproof seems to be becoming more and more of a standard in the sex toy industry. However, you don’t always see it on toys at this price-point so it’s a nice extra.
  • The Tracy’s Dog Surreal retails for a budget-friendly £37.27 at the time of writing, which is incredibly affordable compared to many of the app-controlled toys I’ve reviewed.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

Unfortunately, there were also a few problems I had with this toy.

Perhaps most worryingly, when I was testing the Tracy’s Dog Surreal for this review I could not get my toy to connect with the app at all. (Given that the app has less than two stars in the app store reviews, I can’t say I’m entirely surprised!) I followed the instructions, but nothing happened. I switched it off and back on again, and still nothing happened.

Monster Party app screenshot

In practice, I actually use sex toy apps very rarely. I’m glad they exist, but I mostly just use them to review products then forget I have them. But if you’re specifically looking for an app-controlled toy—and considering this is one of the major selling points of this product—it’s pretty bad.

My other significant complaint about the Tracy’s Dog Surreal is that its vibrations are just… okay. They’re neither particularly strong nor particularly rumbly. I knew the moment that I switched it on and turned it up to the highest speed that it had little to no chance of giving me an orgasm.

Finally, it has one of those one-button interfaces that always annoy me so much.

Tracy’s Dog Surreal Review: Verdict

This toy is about what I would expect for the price. It’s broadly fine, but it’s nothing to write home about. Honestly, even at this price point, there are better toys available. If you want the app functionality on a budget, and don’t need particularly strong vibrations, you might get on fine with it (if you can get the app to work! It’s possible, of course, that I was just unlucky with this but given the app’s rating I can’t believe I am the only one having this problem.)

Woman's hand holding Tracy's Dog lipstick vibrator

Despite the negatives I’ve pointed out, the Tracy’s Dog Surreal is a body-safe and easy to use offering. It might suit those who are newer to exploring toys. It could also be good for those looking for something cute and non-threatening in appearance or who prefer low-strength to mid-strength vibrations. It’ll be a great toy for some people, I just don’t think I’m one of them. As such, I will likely pass this one along so someone else can enjoy it.

Thanks to the company for sponsoring this Tracy’s Dog review. This means I was paid to write an honest account of my experience with the product. In addition, if you make a purchase through my links I will earn a small commission. All views are, as always, mine!

Header image for guest post on OCPD, sex and intimate relationships by Destiny Marshall

[Guest Post] Navigating Sex When You Have OCPD by Destiny Marshall

Published on by Amy

I’m sure you all know by now that I am passionate about mental health, destigmatising mental health challenges, and integrating our sex lives with our mental health in positive and sustainable ways. That’s why I was delighted to accept this guest post from writer Destiny Marshall (she/her) all about navigating sex and intimate relationships with Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, or OCPD.

Navigating Sex When You Have OCPD by Destiny Marshall

Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) is a mental health disorder that causes a chronic preoccupation with orderliness, perfectionism, and control. A person with OCPD is rigid in the way they see life and carry out everyday tasks. Flexibility and compromise are dangerous and hated words. And they often don’t realise that their behaviour and thought patterns are problematic. As far as they’re concerned, their way is THE way, and you lot are just wrong.

OCPD is different from the more familiar Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). With OCD, unwanted and intrusive thoughts (obsessions) cause one to engage in repetitive behaviours (compulsions) to relieve the distress. People with OCD are usually aware that they have a problem and need professional help. Not so with OCPD folks.

When I got my OCPD diagnosis, my obsession with perfectionism and order and absolute control suddenly made a lot of sense. But I never considered that the disorder might be affecting my sex life. 

That was until one night, a partner texted to say they were in my neighbourhood and what about a quickie in the car? That sounded far from great to me. I’m not a spontaneous person who will just dash out their door to go grab an orgasm, even if they were in the mood and the world was ending in ten. If it’s not in my to-do list, it will have to wait to get pencilled in.

I tried to wiggle out of the proposition from my partner. But in the end, I acknowledged to myself that living a little would not kill me, even if it messed with my precious daily schedule.

The sex wasn’t bad. It could’ve been much more, but I couldn’t shake off the fact that this was deviating from how I thought sex should be. And that’s before we get into how tricky cleanup can be in a space as constricted as a car. I was thoroughly uncomfortable.

That experience made me introspect and realise all the tiny little ways that OCPD was sabotaging sex and intimate relationships for me.

A person with OCPD may find themselves having rigid expectations of how sex should play out—which is perfectly. Any deviation from this “ideal” is nothing short of a failure. And because life is life and we can’t guarantee perfection in every situation, OCPD folks find themselves in a pattern of avoidance, dissatisfaction, or both.

In trying to keep up to standard, people with OCPD may turn sex into a performance. You know what I’m talking about – hitting those moan-notes you think you ought to be hitting even when you’re not feeling like it; keeping it going even when your mind is no longer in it, because it’s supposed to be enjoyable and admitting it isn’t is a catastrophe of great magnitude.

Strategies for Navigating Sex, Intimate Relationships, and OCPD

Sex usually calls for some level of spontaneity and surrender. But are we really our OCPD selves if we relinquish control? The universe forbid we should let go and enjoy ourselves without inhibition!

It’s stifling. You want to live a little, but you feel like you’re wired not to. What to do?

Having OCPD and having a fun sex life don’t have to be mutually exclusive. In my experience, patience and communication and self-compassion can Make Love Great Again. Below are some strategies that have helped me. Feel free to pick what works for you and trash the rest:

Acknowledge Your Feelings

It’s essential to recognise and accept how you feel about sex. Whether you’re anxious, frustrated, or even ashamed of your struggles, these feelings are valid, and acknowledging them is the first step toward addressing them. Sit with yourself and have that solo TED Talk.

Communicate with Your Partner

One time, right before meeting up with a partner, I got into a depressive bout. I didn’t want to bail out because that would ruin my schedule and all the expectations, which would be unforgivable. At some point, prodded by my partner, I finally opened up about how I was feeling. They were super supportive, and we walked through our feelings to a place that felt good. It ended in the tenderest lovemaking.

Communicating with your partner is key. Let them know about your challenges and how OCPD affects your experience of sex. This builds understanding and a supportive environment where you both feel comfortable. Be honest, and set clear boundaries that make you feel safe. 

Focus on Connection, Not Perfection

Sex, like life, doesn’t have to be perfect to be enjoyable. We all know this, but we usually need to be reminded. 

Mindfully ground yourself in the present. Attune all your senses to the moment. When you find your mind wandering, gently draw yourself back to your body, where it is in space, and what’s happening to it.

Give yourself grace to let yourself go, then let yourself go. If it helps, take away attention from yourself: focus on the person(s) you’re with, and how they’re experiencing the moment with you.  

Develop a Pre-Sex Ritual…

Creating a pre-sex ritual can help you transition from your daily routine to a more relaxed state. Maybe you take a warm bath; practice mindful breathing; say a mantra (you can borrow mine: Right now, in this moment, pleasure, not perfection); or spend time cuddling with your partner. A ritual helps signal to your brain that it’s time to shift gears, which can help reduce anxiety.

…And a Post-Sex Ritual

It’s a lot easier for me to let myself go and get as messy as the situation calls for, when I know I can take all the time I need to clean and organise and get back into routine afterwards.

Personality disorders take time to work on. You’re not going to wave a wand and suddenly banish your desire for order and control. Making provisions for returning to whatever normalcy feels like for you after sex can help you enjoy the moment a lot more.

Seek Help

If OCPD is significantly affecting your sex life, consider seeking help from a mental health professional. Therapy can provide you with tools to manage your symptoms and navigate sexual experiences more effectively.

If trustworthy professional help is something out of your reach (and even if it isn’t), prioritise self care. A therapy skills workbook, which you can work through at your own pace, can also help greatly.

Practise Self-Compassion

Living with OCPD can be challenging and it can make intimate relationships complicated. We tend to beat ourselves up for every little failure, real or imagined. Self-compassion, then, is a must. 

Remember to be kind to yourself when things don’t go as planned, and remember that it’s okay to struggle. You’re doing your best, and that’s enough. Paste that everywhere so you don’t forget for a second.

Celebrate small wins when you make progress, and forgive yourself when you fail a little. Everyone falls off sometimes. Even your favourite influencer.

So, yeah, sex can get messy and disorderly. But that’s not going to stop us from channelling our inner Inanna and lusting ourselves out, OCPD be damned. Amen.

About the Writer

Destiny Marshall is obsessed with the interconnectedness of mental health and sexuality. When she’s not writing about that, she works on her meme scientist ambitions and gets to know her bed better.

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Thrusting Sex Toys: What, Why, and How to Choose The Right One for You

Published on by Amy

Based on how often I get asked for recommendations and how many companies are now making them, thrusting sex toys are seriously popular. That’s why I was excited to team up with AcmeJoy to bring you this guide on all things thrusting dildos, thrusting butt plugs, sex machines, and much more!

What Are Thrusting Sex Toys?

Thrusting toys are toys containing a motor that allow them to make a back-and-forth motion without the user needing to thrust manually. In other words, they mimic the feeling of penetrative sex with a partner.

Who Are Thrusting Sex Toys For?

In short, anyone who enjoys the sensation of having something thrusting into them. Most thrusting toys are aimed primarily at people with vulvas, but many of them are also totally safe to use anally, if that’s your thing. You could even use one orally, if you wanted.

A lot of people opt for thrusting toys as opposed to manual toys because, depending on the exact design and configuration, you can often use them hands-free. This both provides an experience that is more akin to having penetrative sex with a partner, and also frees up your hands to do other things.

What Kind of Thrusting Toys Are There?

There are numerous kinds of thrusting toys on the market. Search “thrusting” on any large sex toy retailer’s site and you’ll likely be met with at least a few different options. In this section I’ve broken down the main four categories of thrusting toys, though there is a lot of variation within each of these.

Some thrusting toys also vibrate, others don’t. Some offer different “patterns” of thrusting as well as the simple back-and-forth. Others feature rotating, heating, or other additional types of stimulation that you can play with. And, if you’re willing to pay a bit extra, you can even get thrusting toys that are app-controlled.

Sex Machines

Sex machines, AKA fucking machines, are large and usually freestanding devices that have a thrusting arm with a dildo or other toy attached. Fucking machines are popular, but they are also generally very expensive. And, for those with limited storage space or who are concerned about discretion, they’re pretty large and obvious. They can also be quite loud.

Thrusting Dildos

Thrusting dildos are like smaller, handheld versions of fucking machines. They come in all kinds of shapes and sizes, may or may not vibrate as well as thrusting, and may have other features such as balls or a suction cup.

Thrusting Rabbits

Thrusting rabbits are toys with a vibrating arm for clitoral stimulation and an insertable arm that thrusts. They are a popular alternative to traditional rabbit vibrators for those who enjoy a thrusting sensation internally rather than vibrations. (Though they do sometimes vibrate as well.)

Thrusting Anal Toys

Thrusting anal toys seem to be gaining in popularity. This category includes things like thrusting butt plugs and thrusting prostate massagers.

Thrusting Masturbators

Finally, we have thrusting masturbators for people with penises. These toys envelop part or all of your penis, then move up and down it in a thrusting motion designed to mimic the feeling of having penetrative sex with a partner.

How to Choose the Right Thrusting Toy for You

With so many thrusting sex toys on the market, how do you know which one to choose? There are a few factors you might want to take into consideration.

You may already know whether you are looking for a toy for your vagina, penis, anus, or some combination. First, always choose a toy made of a body-safe material. For a thrusting toy, this likely means 100% silicone. Avoid anything made of gel, jelly, rubber, PVC, latex, TPE/TPR, soft plastic, and so on. The one exception to this is that TPE/TPR is okay for external-only toys (e.g. penis masturbators) as long as you don’t expect them to last forever. If you are going to use the toy anally, it must also have a flared base for safety.

Next, think about the size and shape that works for you. Despite what marketing claims and mainstream porn will tell you, bigger isn’t always better when it comes to penetrative toys. Instead of choosing the most enormous toy you can find, think about what size is likely to actually work for you. Don’t forget about the length of the trust, too. Some people enjoy long and deep thrusting, while others find it painful or uncomfortable. If you’re in the latter category, a toy with a shorter thrust length will work better. In terms of shape and design, do you want heavily textured, slightly textured, or smooth? Curved or straight?

Aesthetics can be important, too. Do you want a realistic, semi-realistic, or non-realistic toy? If you’re going for realism, do you want the toy to match your or your partner’s skin tone as closely as possible or don’t you care? If you’re going for non-realistic, what kinds of colours or styles appeal to you instead?

Finally, think about what additional features are important to you. Do you want a warming toy for a more realistic experience? Are you willing to pay extra for remote control or app control functionality? Do you want a suction cup, a harness-compatible base, vibrations?

As with choosing any type of toy, getting to know your own body and preferences will help you to choose the best thrusting sex toys for you. Reading reviews is also a great way to understand more about how different toys function and what users like and dislike about them.

Thanks to AcmeJoy for sponsoring this post. All writing and views are, as always, mine.

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[Lube Review] ÜberLube Silicone Lubricant

Published on by Amy

I’ve been wanting to do an Überlube review for ages, and the company was kind enough to send me not one but two samples of their silicone-based lubricant to try. I received both a signature 55ml bottle and a Good to Go Traveler set. The latter comes with a refillable travel case (available in 10 different colour options) and one 15ml refill. You can buy additional Good to Go refills as and when you need them.

Überlube review image of travel lube canister and refill

I particularly like the Good to Go set for a couple of reasons. First, it’s super useful for popping into your bag or pocket for play parties, weekends away, or hot dates. Since it only contains 15ml of liquid, it’s also ideal for carry-on if you’re flying. 15ml might not sound like a lot of lube, particularly if you’ve got plenty of sexy shenanigans planned, but—as we’ll see shortly—it goes a surprisingly long way.

Überlube’s signature bottle and Good to Go refills are made from glass. The company states that this is because:

  1. Glass is durable.
  2. Glass is inert and impermeable—it’s what is used to store pharmateutical products over long periods of time. The bottles also feature a crimped top, ensuring that nothing can contaminate your lube once it is opened.
  3. It looks nice on your nightstand. And it really does—the bottle reminds me of something that a miniature of a premium gin or vodka might come in.
Überlube review image of glass 55ml bottle

Glass is also recyclable and far more environmentally friendly than single-use plastic bottles.

What’s in Überlube Silicone Lubricant?

As we have established, I am choosy about the lubes I will use. There are numerous common ingredients I eschew, from glycerin and propylene glycol through to parabens, petroleum-derived ingredients, and desensitising agents such as benzocaine. This means that there are very few lube brands I can safely rely on, and those I prefer tend to be expensive. Having looked at Überlube’s silicone lubricant ingredients, though, I was excited to test and review it.

Silicone lubes do not have some of the same issues as water-based products. They do not have osmolality issues and are pH-neutral, meaning they will not harm your body’s natural pH if you’re using them vaginally. And, since they contain no water, bacteria cannot thrive and these products do not require preservatives.

Überlube review image of blue travel canister with a refill

So what’s in Überlube and is it body-safe? Let’s look at the ingredients.

  • Dimethicone: this silicone-based polymer is commonly used in skincare products. It helps to condition and protect the skin by forming a barrier that reduces water loss. It has a low rate of absorption into the skin and experts believe it is safe for human use. In the US, it has been approved by the FDA.
  • Dimethiconal: another silicone-based liquid polymer that is used as a skin conditioner and to improve viscosity in silicone-based products. It, too, is considered to be a safe ingredient. As it is a large molecule, it does not penetrate the skin.
  • Cyclomethicone: a clear and odorless cosmetic-grade silicone that helps to give a product a silky texture. It’s controversial in some circles, but “the The Cosmetic Ingredient Review Expert Panel concluded that these ingredients are safe in the present practices of use and concentration” (Johnson, Bergfeld, Anderson et al 2012.)
  • Tocopheryl acetate (Vitamin E): a form of Vitamin E that appears in numerous cosmetics, skincare products, and supplements. It provides antioxidant benefits and can support overall skin health.

Überlube is registered as a medical device with the FDA. The company works closely with medical advisors, and the product is the lubricant of choice for many OB-GYNs.

Überlube is vegan and cruelty-free. It contains no animal-derived ingredients or animal testing used.

Überlube Silicone Lubricant Review: Sensory Properties & Performance

Überlube is truly odorless and tasteless. I literally licked it off the back of my hand (not generally recommended, but the things I do for my readers!) and couldn’t taste it at all. If the taste or smell of even mild water-based lubes bothers you, Überlube might be a good choice for you. It’s also ideal if you need additional wetness for oral sex but want to smell and taste your partner’s body, not your lube.

Its texture is silky, smooth, and non-sticky. My skin feels soft, moisturised and hydrated after using Überlube—unsurprising considering that dimethicone, dimethiconal and tocopheryl acetate are all common skin moisturisers and conditioners.

Woman's hand with a smear of silicone-based lube on the back

I’m very sensitive to textures in general—neurodivergent life amirite?—which is one of the reasons I can’t really use most oil-based lubes. The sensation of them on my hands gives me the “ick.” My experience with silicone lubes has been mixed in this regard, with some working for me and others very much not. Überlube, I am happy to say, does not give me that gross oily feeling nor did testing it for this review leave me wanting to run to the bathroom to wash it off as quickly as possible.

Bear in mind that you’ll need to wash really thoroughly afterwards to get silicone lubricant off your hands, genitals, and any other body parts it has found its way to. It doesn’t just rinse away like a water-based product will. I prefer to make time to jump in the shower after using silicone lube if at all possible.

The best thing about silicone lube? It lasts for-freaking-ever. Because it does not absorb into the body or dry up quickly, you really only need a small amount and it will last and last. This means that, though it might seem small, your little 55ml bottle will last you much longer than you think.

Überlube Review: Other Uses for Silicone Lube

Did you know that silicone lubricants like Überlube aren’t just for sex? For example, many athletes swear by Überlube to prevent chafing when they are working out. Similarly, one writer tried it as a solution to thigh chafing when wearing dresses and skirts in the summer and reports that it worked beautifully and lasted all day.

The other recommended use for Überlube was as a skincare and haircare product. After seeing how it leaves my hands (and various other parts of me) feeling, I can definitely see myself reaching for it when my skin needs a little pick-me-up. It’s far too slippery for an all-over moisturiser, and silicone can cause problems for skin when used in excess, but it’s ideal for soothing smaller patches of dry or irritated skin.

It also works well for taming my hair. I can’t use too much of products like this because my hair is naturally quite oily, but a tiny little bit rubbed between my fingers and then run over the ends of my hair helps to smooth down frizz and add a little extra bounce and shine. Functionally it works very similarly to a standard hair serum. If anything, this stuff felt a little lighter than my usual serum of choice (Frizz Ease by John Frieda, if you were wondering.)

A truly versatile product!

What to Know About Using Silicone Lubricant

There are lots of advantages to silicone lube. There are also some things to be aware of if you haven’t used it before.

Überlube is longer-lasting than most of the water-based lubes I’ve reviewed and does not dry out quickly, making it ideal for activities where you need plenty of lube for a long period of time. I really like using it for fisting for this reason. Many people also swear by it for anal sex. Because it’s not water-soluble, it is an ideal choice if you are having sex in water.

You can use silicone lube for pretty much any sexual activity including vaginal, anal, oral, or hand sex. For oral sex, try not to ingest too much of the lube but also don’t worry about it too much because a little bit likely won’t do you any harm. It is best not to use silicone lube with silicone toys as it can damage them. However, you can use it with plastic, glass, treated wood, ceramic, aluminium, or stainless steel toys.

Always, always, always check your lube’s compatibility if you are using any sexual health barriers such as condoms, dams, or gloves. Überlube is compatible with natural rubber latex and polyisoprene but not with polyurethane barriers, but not all brands will necessarily be the same.

If you spill any silicone lube on the floor, wipe it up immediately. It is very, very slippery and can make surfaces dangerous if you don’t (#askmehowIknow.) It can also stain your sheets if you spill it on the bed. Putting a towel down before you start can protect your sheets and save on cleanup time.

Überlube Lubricant Review: Verdict

I love this lube! Love it love it love it. My travel set is going to be going in my bag for every play party, weekend getaway or sexy date from now on. It feels great, and its lack of smell and taste make it completely unobtrusive. And as an added bonus, it even has additional uses as a haircare and anti-chafing product.

Buy Überlube Signature Bottles, Good to Go Traveler sets, and refills directly from Überlube. Überlube products are also available from retailers such as Good Vibes, Babeland, Shevibe, Stockroom, Sex Toys UK, and Condoms UK.

I’ll leave you with this gem from Mr C&K: “Überlube!? Did it arrive by taxi!?”

Thank you to Überlube for supporting this review with a free sample of their amazing silicone lubricant! This Überlube review contains affiliate links. All views, as always, are mine.

Pleasure Engine Rose clit sucker review header

[Toy Review] Pleasure Engine Rose Clit Sucker

Published on by Amy

One rose clit sucker had a viral moment a few years ago thanks, in large part, to TikTok. Some of those reviews were hilarious, and others made incredible claims about how many orgasms they had or how quickly they had them.

As you might know, I’m rather cynical about intense sex toy marketing claims. Even so, I thought it was time I brought you my take on another iteration of the famed rose clit sucker: The Rose by Pleasure Engine.

The Rose by Pleasure Engine

Pleasure Engine Rose clit sucker

The Rose by Pleasure Engine is one of many (many) pressure wave stimulators that look like a red rose currently on the market. It has an opening at the top that sits over your clit, creating a seal. Rapid air pulses then provide the stimulation, which some describe as a “sucking” feeling.

The Pleasure Engine Rose clit sucker is rechargeable, with a USB magnetic charging station included. I got about an hour of use out of a two-hour charge. It is small, measuring only 2.6″ in total length, and fits in the palm of my hand.

The Rose is made of body-safe silicone and is splashproof but not waterproof.

Pleasure Engine Rose Clit Sucker Review: What I Liked

Fundamentally, these products are so popular because they work incredibly well for a lot of people. The Pleasure Engine Rose is no different; it gets me off with the kind of orgasm that leaves my legs shaking. Its pressure waves are perhaps not as smooth as those of some higher-end toys I’ve tried, but they still get the job done reliably every time.

Pleasure Engine Rose clit sucker

The nozzle size of the various rose clit sucker toys I’ve reviewed varies, and this one is on the smaller side. It works well for me because my clitoral glans (that’s the external bit) is also fairly small. If you have a larger clit, you might want to look at toys with a wider nozzle. The small size of this one’s nozzle allows it to closely engulf my clit and provide targeted, pinpoint stimulation.

I also think rose toys are popular because they’re aesthetically pleasing. The little silicone petals around the nozzle have no practical purpose, but they do look cute.

The Pleasure Engine Rose is super light, easy to hold, and not too loud.

Pleasure Engine Rose clit sucker

Finally, this is more about the marketing than the toy itself, but I also have to give Pleasure Engine and Shevibe props for not claiming that this toy feels like cunnilingus. I’m so sick of the tendency to call suction toys “oral sex simulators.” They’re not. The technology does not exist yet to realistically mimic cunnilingus with a toy. Let’s move on.

Pleasure Engine Rose Clit Sucker Review: Anything I Didn’t Like?

Overall, the Pleasure Engine Rose is a good toy, especially for its price-point. I’m just not sure we needed another of these. I do understand cashing in on viral trends, but almost every sex toy company I can think of that makes clitoral suction toys has now released its own version of the rose. And, a few small details notwithstanding, they’re all kinda sorta very much the same. Even many of the “related products” that show up when I view this one are virtually the same product only made by a different manufacturer.

I also kinda wish it was fully waterproof. This used to be a luxury feature only found on high-end toys, but it’s increasingly becoming standard. The Rose is splash-resistant, but not properly waterproof, so you can’t use it in the bath or submerge it to clean.

I would have preferred a two-button interface rather than a single button, too, as the Rose has 9 settings in total (3 speeds and 6 patterns).

Verdict

If you don’t already have a rose toy and are looking to try one (or have worn yours out and are looking for a replacement) this is as good a choice as any… and, bonus, not sold by Amazon. Please don’t buy sex toys on Amazon, I’m begging you. There is a very significant chance you’ll get a knock-off that may not be body-safe and may not even work.

The Pleasure Engine Rose clit sucker is body-safe, gets the job done, and is sold by a reputable company with a great reputation in the world of pleasure products. This toy retails for a very affordable £23/$29.99 from Shevibe.

Thanks to Shevibe for sending me the Pleasure Engine Rose clit sucker to review. All views are, as always, my own

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[Toy Review] Uncover Creations Arbora Alien Dildos

Published on by Amy

Something I’ve noticed about alien dildos, tentacle dildos, and other fantasy sex toys is that they are often both enormously expensive and almost comically huge. Which is fine, of course, if size is your thing and you’re happy to drop a significant sum of money on a fantasy toy that meets that need. But what if you’re on a budget or just looking for something in a slightly more manageable size? This week, Uncover Creations sent me their Arbora Alien Dildo to review.

Introducing the Arbora Alien Dildos Range from Uncover Creations

Uncover Creations Arbora alien dildos

Uncover Creations’ Arbora range of alien dildos comes in four different sizes, from extra small (5.1″ total length, 4.3″ insertable, 1.6″ diameter) up to large (10.2″ total length, 8.1″ insertable, 2.5″ diameter). They also range in price accordingly: £40 for x-small, £50 for small, £65 for medium, and £100 for large. Even at the largest size, this is a really competitive price compared to many other fantasy toy makers out there.

You can select your firmness rating, from medium-firm up to squishy soft, pick a colour/colour scheme or allow the company to surprise you, and add a vac-u-lock hole, suction cup, suction cup mount, or cum tube if you like. The resulting toy will be hand-poured to your selected preferences.

By the way: if you’re looking for some colourway inspiration, scroll down to the customer reviews section on the product page and you’ll see numerous happy customers showing off their creations.

The Arbora is a heavily textured fantasy dildo with a curved shape, a series of rippling ridges, a subtle “knot” towards the bottom of the shaft, and a tapered tip. All Arbora alien dildos are made from premium, body-safe and non-porous silicone.

Uncover Creations Arbora Alien Dildo Review: What I Liked

As soon as the UC team suggested it to me for my next review product, I had a feeling I was going to like the Arbora. Now it’s true that alien dildos and other fantasy creations aren’t really my kink, but I do enjoy trying out interesting shapes and textures. Here’s what I liked about the Arbora:

  • I requested the Uncover Creations Arbora to review in a single surprise colourway, and the result did not disappoint. I received a lovely pearlescent pink that catches the light with a lilac-ish shimmer. Every toy I’ve had from this company has been truly beautiful, and I appreciate the extra effort they put into their presentation.
  • The texturing is just the right level. I’ve tried textured toys that were so intense they were painful, and textured toys where the texturing was so subtle I really couldn’t feel anything. The Arbora dildo is a happy medium – textured enough to be satisfying but not so over the top as to be uncomfortable.
Uncover Creations Arbora alien dildos

  • The curved shape is perfect for getting that “come hither” motion.
  • When the toy is fully inserted, the two little “spikes” (I don’t really know what else to call them) protruding from the base provide a little additional external stimulation. They don’t really reach my clit, but they kind of tickle my vulva and labia.
  • The hooked tip provides precision G-spot stimulation.
  • The base is large and flat, meaning that the toy stands up by itself. If you want to position it on a surface and use it hands-free, this allows you to do that.

FYI if it’s your thing, you can also safely use the Arbora dildo anally.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

There really isn’t anything significantly negative to say in this Uncover Creations Arbora review! One thing to be aware of, though, is that it’s firmer than I expected. I requested the “soft” firmness option but it’s still quite firm and doesn’t have much squish. If I was to order again, I’d probably go for “super soft” instead. If you’re not sure and you really need a softer toy, I recommend going down one firmness level.

Uncover Creations Arbora alien dildos

It’s also worth noting that toys with heavy texturing can be a bit of a pain to clean. Due to all the little ridges and creases, I recommend using the boiling method to clean your Arbora alien dildos.

Verdict

Arbora is an excellent range of alien dildos with numerous customisation options available. I’d happy recommend them to anyone who enjoys textured or fantasy toys, and particularly to anyone who is looking for a fantasy toy in a smaller size and at an affordable price.

Buy the Arbora directly from Uncover Creations.

Thanks to Uncover Creations for sending me this product to review. All views, as always, are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.