When I learned that a new version of the We-Vibe Chorus was dropping, this time named the We-Vibe Chorus Pro, my first thought was “already!?” Surely it hasn’t been that long since the first iteration of the Chorus hit the market. However, apparently it’s been well over five years! Time is fake. That can mean only one thing: it’s time for a review of the newly released We-Vibe Chorus Pro.
What is the We-Vibe Chorus Pro?
The Pro is a new, updated version of the original We-Vibe Chorus. It’s the same basic design, and follows the theme of We-Vibe’s classic C-shaped “wear during intercourse” vibrators.
It’s designed to offer additional clitoral stimulation to the wearer during penetrative sex, while also stimulating the inside of their vagina and (if applicable) their partner’s penis with vibrations. It comes with a “Haptic Squeeze Remote” (more on that below) and can also be controlled via the We-Vibe app.
The Chorus Pro is made of body-safe silicone and available in 3 colourways: Cosmic Purple, Satin Black, and Electric Pink. Its internal arm measures ???
The Chorus Pro is rechargeable, with a 2 hour charge giving around 90 minutes of running time. Its sturdy black plastic storage case is also a USB charging case. It is also IPX7 waterproof, i.e. submersible. It’s unclear whether the remote is waterproof, though; the Chorus Original’s remote was only splashproof so the same may be true here.
Chorus vs Chorus Pro: What’s New?
The We-Vibe Chorus Pro offers many of the same features as the previous iteration of this product, including the adjustable hinged design, squeezable remote, app control options, and touch sensors on the main body of the toy. However, it also offers a number of upgrades. Most notably:
Three Motors and Fusion Wave Stimulation
While the original Chorus had two motors, the Chorus Pro has three. There are two motors in the external clitoral stimulator, and one in the insertable arm. This enables something We-Vibe calls “Fusion Wave Technology”, which sounds like something out of Star Trek but actually seems to just mean that the two clitoral motor synchronise to offer rhythmic, rolling and flowing “wave-like” vibrations.
“Haptic Squeeze” Remote
Though the original Chorus had a squeeze-sensitive remote, the Chorus Pro has had a significant upgrade in this regard. The word “haptic” just means something relating to the sense of touch. The new Chorus remote is designed to adjust vibration strength with the intensity of the squeeze, with the remote vibrating at the same strength as the toy to provide immediate feedback to the person holding it.
Is this a good thing? Debatable. We’ll get into this in more detail shortly.
We-Vibe Chorus Pro Review: Pros
Something I appreciate about We-Vibe is that, unlike some toy manufacturers, they don’t constantly churn out new products at an alarmingly fast rate. Instead, they seem to take their time and put real thought into their designs. As a result, the We-Vibe Chorus Pro has a lot to recommend it.
Let’s get into what I like about this product.
It’s so pretty! The material sort of shimmers.
The hinged design allows you to adjust the fit according to your body.
The charging case is convenient for both travel and storage. For an ADHDer like me, it also makes me less likely to lose either the toy or the remote.
With 7 classic We-Vibe patterns and 3 new “Fusion Wave” patterns built in, as well as constant vibrations and the ability to change the intensity level of any pattern using the remote, the user experience is pretty versatile even before you get the app involved.
The remote is highly responsive, both in squeeze mode and when just using the buttons.
The squishy design also makes the motor super comfortable to hold and use.
I love the texturing on the underside of the external arm. It’s pretty subtle but it adds a little extra stimulation. I can’t personally feel the texturing on the internal arm when I’m wearing it, but other users’ experience may differ.
The addition of a third motor really does make a difference in use. While I think calling it “Fusion Wave” is a stretch, the synchronised external motors deliver more intense clitoral and all-over vulva stimulation than a single motor can manage on its own.
The motors! We-Vibe always uses excellent strong and rumbly motors in its toys, and this one is no exception.
Cons
There are also a few things about the We-Vibe Chorus Pro I found frustrating. Namely:
While the original Chorus had two adjustable hinges for a better fit, the Chorus Pro appears to only have one. It’s a shame to lose the extra adjustability the additional hinge offered.
There doesn’t seem to be a way to control the motors separately using the toy itself or the remote. If you want to do this, you’ll need the app. As someone who doesn’t like internal vibrations, this is a pretty big downside for me personally.
The insertable section isn’t long enough (or curved enough) to get anywhere near my G-spot. Instead of providing additional pleasure, it just sort of sits there as an anchor to hold the toy in place (sort of; see below.)
Overall, as in the original We-Vibe Chorus, I found the “Touch Sense” modes too unpredictable and unreliable to be pleasurable. It’s an interesting concept, but the reality is mostly just annoying.
I wish there were better controls on the toy itself. The single button interface is very limiting and basically means this toy is only worthwhile with either the remote or the app.
Like virtually all toys of this type, it doesn’t really stay in place without a helping hand unless you’re staying very still (and sometimes not even then.) If you’re moving or doing any kind of thrusting, you pretty much have to hold it in position with your hand to stop it slipping around all over the place.
Other Things to Be Aware Of
I have really mixed feelings about the haptic feedback of the squeeze remote. On the one hand, having the feedback could be useful if you’re using the toy on a partner and want to get a sense of the intensity of the stimulation for them. On the other hand, having your hand repeatedly vibrated is really annoying and uncomfortable. Ultimately, each user will need to decide if this bothers them (and, if it does, if they like the feature enough to put up with it.)
I also find that, the longer I do this job, the less I care about a toy’s app features. I can count on one hand the times I’ve used an app to control a toy outside of an “I’m testing this product so I can review it” session. I don’t really want to be on my phone when I’m trying to masturbate or have sex, I don’t use toys in public because they’re nowhere near as discreet as some people seem to think they are, and I’ve found ways to have long-distance sex that work better for me personally.
That said, We-Vibe’s app is one of the better options for app-controlled toys out there, and it offers a number of intriguing additional options including:
Handing control over to a partner anywhere in the world with an internet connection
Chatting and video-calling with a partner while they control the toy
As mentioned above, controlling the motors separately
Activating the three available “Touch Sense” modes
More finely controlling the intensity of the vibrations
Touch mode, in which you can control the toy with the swipe of a finger
Creating your own vibration patterns
Creating “playlists” of your favourite patterns
We-Vibe Chorus Pro Review: Verdict
Overall, I think the We-Vibe Chorus Pro is an excellent product. It improves on the original in a couple of fun ways, while maintaining We-Vibe’s reputation for good motors and thoughtful design. Despite a few frustrations, I’m still happy to recommend it.
At first glance, the UEROS wearable vibrator set is an interesting concept. It contains four main pieces:
A thin, vaguely saddle-shaped vibrator that sits against the pubis with a protruding clitoral stimulator
A detachable egg vibrator that fits inside the vagina
A harness/crotchless panty thing with straps to hold the vibrator against the body
A remote control
The main intended use for the UEROS vibe set is for it to be wearable during (penetrative) partnered sex. In case you’re struggling to visualise how it’s intended to work, here’s a handy diagram provided by UEROS:
The vibrator and egg are made of body-safe silicone (with plastic accents on the former.) The harness is made of polyester and spandex.
This USB rechargeable toy offers 1 hour of runtime for a 2 hour charge. It is also IPX6 waterproof, i.e. splashproof but not submersible.
UEROS Wearable Vibe Set: The Good
Let’s start with the positive things I can say about this product.
First, I do think the concept is neat. It’s kind of a combination of insertable wearable vibrators (such as the various iterations of We-Vibe’s classic shape) and those “vibrating knickers” that are still inexplicably a thing even though they almost universally suck.
The slim design is thoughtful and means the toy is less obtrusive and “in the way” if you’re using it during partnered sex. Design-wise, I also like the long tail on the egg. This sidesteps the issue of dual-stimulation toys often being designed for one specific type of genitals, making it more likely to fit comfortably with a range of bodies.
The detachable design of the egg vibrator makes this a more versatile product. You could also use the egg on its own as a non-vibrating, leave-in toy, if you like.
The six straps on the harness/panties hold the vibrator in place very well. Unlikely many “wear during intercourse” toys, it stays securely in position. A rare instance of a supposedly hands-free toy that’s actually suitable for hands-free use.
I like that, when you’re using the external vibrator and the egg together, you can control them completely separately. There’s one button for each part on both the main toy and the remote control. Each has five settings: three constant speeds and two patterns.
The silicone is soft and silky. Aesthetically, it’s also kind of fun. The metallic accents give the whole thing a vaguely sci-fi/techno feel.
UEROS Wearable Vibe Set: The Bad
Buckle in, because once I started actually trying this product, things went sideways fast.
The placement of the buttons on the top side of the toy seems fine initially, but quickly reveals a significant problem. If you’re having penetrative sex in a face-to-face position such as missionary, the chances of the toy getting smushed between bodies and accidentally turned off are very high.
I also want to know why the clitoral stimulator is squishy. This makes the already-poor vibration transmission even worse and makes it hard to get any significant, consistent pressure.
My biggest complaint about this toy, though? The sizing of the included harness/panty, without which the main function of the toy is unusable. UEROS claims this item is size inclusive, which is laughably untrue. It is adjustable, but only accommodates waist sizes of ~28″ to ~38″. Apparently it was “rigorously tested on diverse body types”, which means on women (presumably cis) between 5’3″ and 5’8″ and between 60 and 70kg. That’s not a diverse range of body types. That’s a difference of maybe two or three dress sizes, if that.
If you’re going to design a toy that’s exclusively for thin people… well, first of all, don’t. But if you must, at least be honest about it. Claiming a demonstrably exclusionary product is size-inclusive doesn’t make it so.
Finally, the UEROS wearable vibe’s vibrations are nothing short of useless. They’re as weak and buzzy as they come. There is zero possibility of this toy ever giving me an orgasm, in any configuration. And believe me, I’ve tried.
Verdict
This is a product that is significantly better in theory than in practice. I don’t know if corners were cut to bring it to market faster or if it just wasn’t tested sufficiently, but there’s so much wrong with the execution of what is objectively a good idea.
The UEROS wearable vibe set could have been a great product. Unfortunately, in its current state, it just isn’t.
Hot Octopuss made some serious waves with the Pulse, the company’s first product and a precursor to the Pulse Duo, back in 2013. I received the company’s latest product, the new and improved Pulse Duo, and Mr C&K was kind enough to test it out so I could review it.
What is the Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo?
The new and redesigned Pulse Duo is the latest iteration of the Pulse penis vibrator, and this time it’s specifically designed with use by couples in mind. It looks like this:
Based on medical technology designed to help people with spinal cord injuries and similar disabilities to ejaculate for the purposes of taking part in IVF, Pulse toys utilise an oscillating mechanism (known as “PulsePlate”™) to stimulate the penis. As a sex toy, their unique selling point is that the user doesn’t need to have an erection in order to use them.
The Pulse Duo is made of body-safe silicone in a blue-grey colour. It is rechargeable via the included magnetic USB cable. It also comes with a battery-operated remote control and a branded drawstring storage bag.
The toy is waterproof, but the remote control is not.
The user inserts their penis between the flexible silicone “wings”. The plate then stimulates them by rapidly oscillating back and forth. Pro tip: experiment with which way around, and how far along your shaft, you position the toy. The Pulse Duo is designed to stimulate the frenulum (the V-shaped spot that connects the foreskin to the head of the penis), but every penis and every person’s preferences are different, so figure out what feels best for you.
The Pulse Duo is also designed to stimulate a person with a vulva. The suggested use is for the penis-owning person to wear the toy with the top side facing up, and for their vulva-owning partner to straddle them with the toy pressing against their vulva, allowing them to feel its vibrations:
Image: Hot Octopuss
Though the Hot Octopuss Pulse range was inspired by medical technology for people who can’t get an erection or enjoy penetrative sex, anyone with a penis can enjoy this product.
Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo Review: Pros
One of my favourite things about the Pulse Duo is that it centres a hugely underrated sex act: grinding. Many people with a vulva masturbate by grinding against things. There’s now a booming market for clitoral grinders in numerous different designs. Using the Pulse Duo with a partner offers a new way to enjoy close bodily contact and simultaneous pleasure without the need for penetration.
Unlike many “couples’ toys” I’ve seen, the Pulse Duo does not treat the vulva and clitoris as an afterthought. The design features an arched base, designed to part the vulva and target stimulation to the clit. The rigid surface is amazing for grinding against, providing plenty of pressure, and the toy transmits vibrations well, particularly on the higher settings.
Mr C&K reported that the vibrations and oscillations are strong and rumbly. Based on how the exterior of the toy feels, I would agree with that assessment. I’m not sure the vibrations are strong enough to give me an orgasm alone. Coupled with the grinding motion, though, they absolutely could.
The flexible wings mean that the Pulse Duo will fit most penis sizes. Hot Octopuss recommends this toy for anyone with a flaccid penis length of 3.25″ or more, and with a maximum girth of 2.5″. There is no maximum length or minimum girth recommendation.
The Pulse Duo has a four button interface, two on either side of the toy. There are 7 vibration modes to choose from (steady vibration plus 6 patterns) as well as 9 speeds. The controls are intuitive and easy to learn, and I particularly appreciate the dual-directional speed controls. The remote control offers additional flexibility in how you use the toy and has a range of around 3 metres.
Unlike a stroker, you don’t need to move the Pulse Duo up and down the penis during use. Depending on your penis size and how it fits, some people will be able to use this toy completely hands-free. Others will need to hold it in place. Of course, if you have a partner straddling you to use the toy in “Duo” mode, their weight will help anchor it in place.
Mr C&K didn’t use lube on his first attempt with the Pulse Duo. He said the toy worked fine without it, but that most people would find insertion easier and may find the toy more comfortable with some water-based lube added.
Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo Review: Cons
The first notable downside of the Pulse Duo is that it’s annoyingly loud. Oscillating toys are often louder than traditional vibrators, but the Pulse Duo is bordering on distractingly loud.
The battery life is also only around an hour, which isn’t great considering a full charge takes 3 hours.
Finally, and this is an admittedly minor gripe: the plastic battery tab in the remote control would not come out! No matter how hard we pulled it, we could ultimately only remove it by opening up the battery compartment with a tiny screwdriver. Again, minor, but annoying.
Verdict
This is a really well-designed toy and an improvement on the previous iteration in virtually every way. It is an innovative and inclusive product that focuses on pleasure rather than centering penetration. It has a strong motor, good controls, and well-thought-out use cases for both solo and partnered use. Mr C&K and I are both happy to recommend this product.
I’ll leave you with this gem from Mr C&K regarding the Pulse Duo’s aesthetic: “it looks like I have a little helmet on my… helmet.”
The Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo retails for £129/$149 and is available directly from Hot Octopuss and from Shevibe.
Thanks to Hot Octopuss for sending Mr C&K and I the Pulse Duo to review. All views are ours!
Before we get into today’s review of another Tracy’s Dog toy, the Swirlii rotating vibrator, the company have asked me to let you all know about their seasonal specials that have now launched for Christmas.
Naughty or Nice? Tracy’s Dog Makes Your Nights Bright!
Have you been naughty or nice this year? No matter your answer, Tracy’s Dog is here to make your holiday nights a little brighter—and a lot more fun. With their exclusive “Naughty or Nice” campaign, they’ve got everything you need to treat yourself or someone special this season.
Up to 60% Off: Holiday Sale You Can’t Miss
Right now, Tracy’s Dog is offering up to 60% off their popular products! From bold and adventurous to soft and romantic, their Naughty and Nice collections are designed to match any mood. Ready to explore? Check out the Tracy’s Dog’s website and find your perfect match today.
There will be several fun seasonal activities available in the Tracy’s Dog app, which you can use with many of their bestselling toys including the OG 2 & 3, the Surreal, and the Beta:
Find your Christmas vibe with the Naughty vs. Nice Voting Showdown
Find out who’s on Santa’s naughty list with a fun ranked event
Share your funny and sexy Christmas secrets anonymously
Join the “Elf on the Shelf” Remix meme challenge
Hot new products are 10% off, and the highest discount allows you to enjoy up to 59% off! Plus you can use my exclusive code “coffee10” for 10% off your entire basket.
With that said, let’s dive into today’s review of the Swirlii rotating vibrator.
Tracy’s Dog Swirlii
The Tracy’s Dog Swirlii is a wearable rotating vibrator designed to be worn inside your underwear for hands-free pleasure. It features a main insertable shaft which sits inside the vagina and rotates in a circle, a flexible small appendage that vibrates, and an external part with a raised bump that stimulates the clit. This external arm also helps to anchor the toy in place. At first, I wasn’t sure what the little flexible appendage was for or where to put it. Eventually I realised that it is meant to go inside along with the main inserable arm.
The Swirlii comes with a remote control as well as a drawstring storage bag. It is USB rechargeable with the included magnetic charging cable, and IPX7 waterproof (i.e. completely submersible.)
The Swirlii measures around 4.5″ in length and 5″ in height. Its insertable portion measures 3.5″ in length and around 1.4″ in diameter at the widest point. It is made of body-safe lilac silicone.
What I Liked About the Tracy’s Dog Swirlii
The Swirlii rotating vibrator is such an unusual design, and I was curious to try it out. First let’s look at all the things about it that I liked.
It came attractively packaged in a smart and sturdy box, and the inclusion of a storage bag is a nice touch.
The colour is really pretty! I love lilac and it’s a more unusual colour for a sex toy than a brighter or darker purple.
The silicone is soft and smooth.
The flexibility of the external arm means that you can position it in a few different ways depending on what works for your body.
At first glance, I was really confused about the shape of the insertable shaft. I couldn’t work out why it’s almost scoop-shaped rather than just rounded. Eventually I realised it’s so that it kind of hugs the vibrating appendage (sorry, I can’t think of a better term for it!) against the front wall of the vagina – i.e. where the G-spot is for most bodies – when it’s in use. This initially baffling design is actually pretty clever!
I love the rotating motion! As someone who doesn’t really enjoy internal vibrations, this is such a fabulous change.
The user interface is simple, with a single button on the toy itself and then two buttons on the remote control. Learning how to use it is a breeze.
Sound-wise, it’s fairly quiet. I’m not truly convinced it’s quiet enough to wear in public (unless you’re in a very noisy space like a nightclub) but the inevitable whirring noise you get with rotating toys isn’t anywhere near as bad as many I’ve tried.
On the higher levels, the vibrations are pretty powerful.
The remote’s responsiveness is good and works up to 10m away.
Using the remote control, you can choose to use the vibrations and the rotation together or separately. You can also scroll through the settings – 10 vibration modes and 3 rotation modes – of each motor completely independently of the other.
When worn with underwear, it stays in place pretty well, allowing for hands-free use.
At £48.15, its price point is pretty reasonable.
Anything I Didn’t Like?
There were also a few things about the Swirlii that didn’t work so well for me.
Inserting two different pieces inside me can be tricky and uncomfortable unless I get the angle exactly right. It also makes the actual insertable diameter wider than will be comfortable for some users. A lot of lubrication is essential with this one. A couple of sachets of lube were included, but I won’t use them because they contain ingredients such as glycerin, propylene glycol, and disodium EDTA.
The vibrations are very buzzy. The result is that they make my clit feel numb and tingly long before I get close to coming.
I would have preferred dual-directional controls, preferably on the toy itself but at least on the remote control.
This might be petty, and admittedly isn’t a gripe with the toy itself, but this bit of the marketing copy also really bugs me: “Put on your sexiest lingerie, grab Swirlii and put it right into your panties. Call up your partner and hand him a remote.” Why are we assuming my partner is a “him”? I literally work in this industry and I still find this kind of assumed heteronormativity so so offputting and alienating.
Verdict
There were a lot of things about the Swirlii that I liked. Overall, though, I unfortunately have to conclude it’s not one for me due to the diameter of the insertable portions and the buzziness of the vibrations. I still think it’s a well-designed product and will work very well for many people, especially those who are comfortable with wider insertables and who enjoy strong but buzzy vibrations.
I’m glad it exists, but I think I’ll likely be passing it along for someone else to enjoy.
The Swirlii retails for £48.15 at full price. Get it direct from Tracy’s Dog and don’t forget: “coffee10” at checkout for 10% off.
Thanks to Tracy’s Dog for sponsoring this review and sending me the Swirlii rotating vibrator to test. All views are, as always, my own.
It’s that time of year again when I do a day-by-day unboxing of the Lovehoney Advent Calendar for couples! Lovehoney UK is offering three advent calendars this year: a 12-day version and a 24-day version in partnership with Womanizer, as well as the Amorana Deluxe 24-day calendar which contains over £1100 worth of products. In the US, the 24-day version is the only one currently available.
I received the Lovehoney x Womanizer 24-day advent calendar. Straight away, I will say that I like the presentation of this Lovehoney advent calendar much more than previousiterations. The products are packaged in little individually labelled cardboard boxes in festive red and gold, rather than the tear-off doors that start to look a little scruffy when you’re a few days in. There’s also no plastic inner tray, cutting down on single-use plastic to make the whole thing more eco-friendly.
For the next 24 days, I’ll open one door each day and tell you a little about the item inside in a mini review with product info, pros and cons.
Without further ado, let’s dive into Day 1, shall we?
Day #1: Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator
Like previous iterations of the Lovehoney Advent Calendar, this one begins with a rechargeable bullet vibrator. This time, it’s a pretty rose gold colour with black button and Lovehoney insignia.
Light and compact – ideal for sliding between bodies during partnered sex or throwing into your bag for a sexy date
Surprisingly decent level of power for its size and price-point, and the hard plastic transmits the vibrations well
Versatile – designed for clits but great for penises, balls, nipples, and all kinds of other erogenous zones too (don’t use it anally, though, as it doesn’t have a suitable base)
Cons
Unlike many Lovehoney toys, it does not arrive with any charge so you’ll need to plug it in before you use it. This can ruin the mood if you’re aiming for an “unbox and use straight away” vibe.
A little more buzzy than I would prefer
Single button interface is kind of annoying when there are so many settings
Verdict
Once again, a solid basic bullet vibrator to kick things off. I would prefer it to be a bit more rumbly, but for the size and price-point it’s decent.
Day #2: Lube and Toy Wipes
Door #2 contains two items: a 60ml tube of Womanizer water-based lubricant and a packet of 10 Lovehoney toy cleaning wipes.
Pros
The biodegradable wipes are eco-friendly
The handy travel sizes are ideal for taking with you on a date or weekend away
Both products are compatible with all toy materials including silicone
The lube has a nice, fairly thin and runny consistency that flows and spreads well
The lube is virtually scent-free and flavourless
Cons
The lube contains glycerin as the second ingredient. Experts believe that glycerin can damage the vagina’s mucus membranes and raise the osmolality of a lube, increasing the risk of irritation or even infection. Claims that glycerin contributes to yeast infections are somewhat controversial and hotly debated. However, experts at Stanford OB/GYN and the Cleveland Clinic believe there is a risk. Personally, I avoid glycerin-containing lubes for the sake of my vaginal health. They also tend to have an unpleasant sticky or tacky feeling after a while.
The toy wipes will clean your toy and should not be taken as a substitute for properly sterilizing it, especially if you are sharing it with a partner or partners.
Verdict
I like this combination of two miniature products together, but I would like to see the lube swapped out with one that doesn’t contain glycerin.
Day #3: Silicone Textured Dildo
Today’s box revealed a bright red silicone dildo with a curved shaft, gentle rippling texture on the underside, and slightly pronounced head. It also has a suction cup base and a hollow space where you can insert the bullet vibrator from Day 1.
Product Info
Material: Silicone
Colour: Scarlet red
Body safe? Yes, silicone is body-safe and non-porous
Waterproof: Yes, there is no motor and the material is non-porous so you can safely use this toy in water
Size: 6″ length, 1.2″ diameter at widest point
Speeds/patterns: N/A
Lube-compatible: Water-based lube is best
Cleaning: Sterile wipe, warm water and antibacterial soap, or boiling
Lovely curve, ideal for targeted G-spot or prostate stimulation
Large base makes the toy anal safe
Works with or without the bullet vibe from Day 1 (or any suitably sized bullet in your collection)
Texturing adds additional internal stimulation
Cons
Bullet vibe has a tendency to get stuck and be hard to remove (pro tip: lube it first!)
Base is too small for the toy to be harness-compatible
Verdict
A great basic textured dildo! These kits are really aimed at people who are newer to toys/sexual exploration, and this item’s thoughtful design and small-ish size make it ideal for a first dildo. I would like to see a slightly larger base to make it harness-compatible, though.
Day #4: TPE Penis Stroker
Day 4’s box contains a TPE penis stroker, complete with a slot along the side to add the bullet vibrator from Day 1 (or any other bullet in your collection) if you want to.
Body safe? Ish. TPE is generally non-toxic but it is porous, which means it will harbour bacteria and cannot be fully sterilised. Don’t share it and don’t expect it to last forever. I recommend upgrading to a silicone stroker when you can.
Waterproof: Yes, you can use this toy in water safely, though it may damage the material more quickly.
Size: 4″ length but stretchy
Speeds/patterns: N/A
Lube-compatible: Water-based lube is best
Cleaning: Warm water and antibacterial soap. Dusting the toy with a little cornstarch after cleaning and drying may help to extend its life.
A decent introduction to strokers if you’ve never used one before
Ability to use with the bullet vibrator from Day 1, transforming it into a vibrating stroker
Very stretchy to accommodate most penis sizes
Nice internal texturing that hugs and stimulates the entire shaft of your penis
Cons
Weird powdery texture that feels horrible on my hands
Material cannot be fully sterilised
Unlikely to last long
Verdict
It’s fine for what it is, but I would much prefer it were made of a non-porous material like silicone. Again: if you like the sensation, upgrade to a silicone stroker for a toy that will last you a lifetime and be far more hygienic.
Day #5: Kink Blindfold
Sensory deprivation can be a lot of fun to play with. By taking away one or more of the senses (such as sight) you heighten the others (such as touch). It can also be a great way to enhance anticipation, play with power and control, or otherwise explore whatever aspects of kink and BDSM appeal to you.
Today’s advent calendar box contains a kink blindfold. Made of polyester and with a pretty black and rose gold pattern, this blindfold measures 7″ across and 2.5″ top to bottom. A similar item retails for £7.99 if bought separately.
Pros
Stretchy elastic means the blindfold will fit most users
Plushy padded backing is comfortable to wear
Pretty black and rose gold design
Doubles as a sleep mask (I have several of these now and as a seasoned kinkster I rarely use them for BDSM as I have better blindfolds, but I always take one with me when I travel to help me sleep)
Cons
Not quite big enough – it blocks most of the light effectively but I can still see around the edges a bit if I keep my eyes open
Cheap fabric is starting to pull at the edges and look less attractive after just a few wears
I’m not sure how well it would survive washing
Verdict
A perfectly serviceable basic blindfold if you just want to play but aren’t looking for complete sight deprivation. It would be better if it was slightly wider. If you enjoy playing with this, then it’s easy to upgrade to a better kink blindfold that will last you longer and block more of your vision.
Day #6: Crystal Butt Plug
Box #6 contains an aluminium metal butt plug with a sparkly red crystal-look base.
Product Info
Material: Aluminium
Colour: Rose gold body with a red gem base
Body safe? Generally yes; aluminium is a non-toxic and non-porous metal that is safe for use in sex toys. However, some aluminium can contain traces of nickel so I’d be very cautious if you are allergic.
Waterproof: Yes, you can use this toy in water with no issues.
Size: 3″ in total length, 1.1″ in diameter at widest insertable point
Cleaning: Sterile wipe, 10% bleach solution, or warm water and antibacterial soap. I wouldn’t boil this one or put it in the dishwasher as it might damage the glue holding the gem in place.
RRP if bought as a single item:This similar toy retails for £22.99
Pros
Surprisingly light – aluminium is a lot lighter than stainless steel, making it a more accessible entry point for metal toys
The rose gold body and red crystal colour scheme is really pretty
Great for temperature play – just pop it in the fridge or run it under some warm (not hot) water right before use
Small size likely to make it suitable for more users
Cons
In general, I think a metal anal toy in a set aimed at beginners is a bold choice. I might have gone for silicone instead.
The firm rounded base might dig in after you’ve been wearing it for a while and could be uncomfortable
Verdict
A nice little metal plug; personally I would have gone for silicone if I were designing this kit, but as entry-level metal anal toys go this is a decent one. The pretty colour and sparkly crystal make it super cute, too.
Day #7: Vanilla Massage Oil
Day 7’s box contains a 30ml bottle of Lovehoney’s vanilla massage oil. Massage can be a great precursor to sex, a way to connect intimately and show love and affection to a partner without getting your genitals involved, or a form of aftercare. For those in kinky dynamics, it can also be a fun form of service!
Product Info
This vanilla massage oil contains just four ingredients:
Ethylhexyl palmite: A common and safe emollient and carrying agent which can soften and smooth the skin.
Caprylic/capric triglyceride: Derived from coconut oil and glycerine, this antioxidant also smooths the skin and helps to bind other ingredients. It is safe for topical use unless you have a coconut oil allergy.
Isopropyl myristate: An emollient with low viscosity which softens, smooths, and moisturises the skin and is safe and beneficial for most users. It may cause skin irritation in a small minority of people, usually those with existing skin conditions.
Parfum (aroma): This is a weird one. “Parfum” isn’t actually an ingredient but a concoction that could contain any of over 3000 ingredients designed to make a product smell good. Some people recommend avoiding products with this mystery mix, others say it’s probably fine as long as you don’t have an allergy or sensitivity. Personally I don’t worry about it too much for products for occasional topical use (such as massage oils), but your risk tolerance may vary.
This oil is also sold separately under Lovehoney’s Fifty Shades of Grey branded products and retails for £11.99 for 30ml.
Pros
Nice vanilla smell, distinctive but not overpowering or too “chemically”
Glides on smoothly and has a pleasant skin feel
Cons
Dries out quickly and doesn’t last particularly well, meaning you might need to reapply it regularly
May be unsuitable for those with fragrance sensitivities or certain skin allergies
Leaves a slight oily feeling on my hands after use
Verdict
Not my favourite massage oil, but it’s fine. I wouldn’t likely buy this again as there are other massage products I like a lot more.
Day #8: Wrist Restraints
Today’s box contains a pair of velcro-shut wrist cuffs with plastic hardware. The cuffs are black, and the hardware is rose gold, matching various other items in this set. I’ll say this for Lovehoney and Womanizer, they have their aesthetic cohesion down.
Pros
I will say straight away that these are a huge step up from the 2021 calendar’s “wrist restraints” (glorified ribbons and frankly pretty dangerous) and from 2022’s uncomfortable rough cuffs. These ones are made of a soft material that feels nice against the skin.
Other pros include:
Velcro fastenings come undone in seconds, enhancing safety and making them beginner-friendly
Very adjustable so will fit just about anyone
Attached clips allow you to cuff someone’s hands together or clip them to something else
Cons
Clips are tiny, so what you can fasten them to is pretty limited
Not particularly strong – the hardware feels like it would break if you pulled against them too hard
When you fasten them tighter, there’s nowhere for the spare velcro to be tucked so it just sort of… dangles
Verdict
You might be sending a theme in my overall impression of this kit: these cuffs aren’t amazing, but they’re fine. If you want to play with light bedroom bondage or try out getting restrained for the first time, they’re ideal. If you’re looking for something a bit more heavy-duty, though, you’ll probably want to upgrade to leather cuffs (or vegan equivalent) or go to a dedicated kink gear maker.
Day #9: We-Vibe Sync Lite
The We-Vibe Sync Light is a wearable vibrator designed to be inserted into the vagina during penetrative sex, with an external arm that provides clitoral stimulation. Of course, as always, there are lots of different ways to use toys and the suggested way is just one of them!
Product Info
Material: Silicone
Colour: Black
Body safe? Yes
Waterproof: No – toy is IPX-4 splashproof but should not be submerged
Middling power vibrations – they’re not knock-your-socks-off, but they’re decent
Flexible middle between the two arms allows you to position the toy in whatever way is most comfortable for your body
App controls! I did not expect to find an app-controlled toy in this kit but I am very pleasantly surprised. We-Vibe’s app is free from the Android or iOS stores and allows you to connect at close range or remotely from anywhere in the world.
Cons
No remote control, which is a downside if you don’t want to use the app
Single button interface on the body of the toy is kind of annoying
Not waterproof
In my experience, these toys don’t generally stay in place well during partnered sex without someone holding them in position
Verdict
This is a really impressive addition to the kit! These types of toys are normally seriously pricey, so this is a great introduction for those who are curious about trying one. The app controls are also a really nice extra, particularly for couples who want to connect sexually over long distance.
Day #10: Silicone Cock Ring
Today’s item is a basic silicone thick cock ring. Cock rings are worn around the base of the penis, restricting blood flow outwards to help the wearer maintain a stronger erection for longer. Some also say they heighten sensation and intensify orgasm.
According to Healthline, cock rings are safe for the vast majority of wearers as long as you listen to your body, wear a ring of a suitable size, and follow some basic precautions, such as using lube and not leaving the ring on for more than 30 minutes at a time.
Product Info
Material: Silicone
Colour: Black
Body safe? Yes – silicone is non-porous and non-toxic.
Waterproof: Yes, this toy is non-porous and has no motor so can safely be used in water
Size: 1.5″ diameter but stretchy
Speeds/patterns: N/A
Lube-compatible: Water-based lube is best
Cleaning: Boiling, a 10% bleach solution, a sterile wipe, or warm water and antibacterial soap
May be uncomfortably tight on those with very girthy penises
Verdict
Not much more to say on this one – a great basic cock ring that is also body-safe and should be durable and long-lasting.
Day #11: Spanking Paddle
Today’s item is a mini spanking paddle with a pretty black and rose gold design matching other items in the kit. It’s made of silky satin on one side and faux leather on the other, and has a ribbon wrist loop. It measures 9″ in total length.
Very safe as an intro toy for impact play beginners – you’re very unlikely to do anyone real damage with this
Slightly different sensation from each of the two sides (the leather side is a little more stingy)
Impressive slappy noise which is hot to some people
Cons
Unlikely to satisfy anyone who enjoys more than very mild pain
Loud noise may be problematic if you have to keep your play discreet
Not particularly robust, will probably fall apart after a bit
Verdict
This is a perfectly okay spanking paddle for total beginners. It’s gentle enough to be safe and non-threatening, and might be a decent way to figure out if impact play is something you enjoy. It’s unlikely to satisfy serious BDSM enthusiasts but honestly, serious BDSM enthusiasts aren’t the target market for this kit anyway.
Today it’s literally the card game “Snap” but as a sex position card game. Is the idea that you play the game and then when you get a “snap”, you have to have sex in that position? Because YKINMKBYKIOK and all, but that doesn’t sound sexy to me.
Also, they should really rename this as “Sex Position Card Game For Very Athletic Straight People.” Because seriously, look at them. They all assume, to a greater or lesser extent, a cisgender man and woman having penetrative vaginal sex. Some of them are fine, if fairly generic. Some are potentially doable, if you’re very fit, like “The Wheelbarrow”:
Others are… well, this:
Stop it, Lovehoney. You’re being silly now.
Pros
Potentially a fun, goofy and low-pressure way into exploring new positions, I guess?
Calls to mind this scene from The Bold Type in which our three bestie protagonists test out a new sex position for Scarlet Magazine.
Some of these, at least, could potentially work for strap-on sex or anal sex (at least if you made some minor adjustments) as well as vaginal sex.
Cons
A lot of these are just fairly standard positions that most people who have penetrative sex likely already have in their repertoire.
The others are, as we have identified above, anything from “improbable if you’re not an athlete” to “physically im-fucking-possible.”
Extremely cishetero and gendered
Verdict
You might get a little inspiration from this, or at the very least you’ll have a laugh trying out some of the more challenging positions. Overall, though, I don’t know why we’re still pretending that contorting yourself into all kinds of weird shapes is superior to or hotter than good old missionary, doggy style, or over-the-edge-of-the-bed fucking.
Day #13: G-Spot/P-Spot Massager
Today’s product is a G-Spot/P-Spot Massager. In other words, a penetrative toy that can be used to stimulate either the G-spot or the prostate. It has an optional slot to insert a bullet vibrator such as the one from Day 1.
Product Info
Material: Silicone
Colour: Black
Body safe? Yes
Waterproof: Yes (though if you’re using a vibrator with it, make sure that’s waterproof too!)
Size: 4″ insertable length, 1.4″ diameter at widest point
Cleaning: A body-safe sterile wipe, boiling, or gentle antibacterial soap and water
RRP if bought as a single item: N/A – not available
Pros
Suitable and safe for both vaginal and anal use
Can be used with or without a vibrator
Very flexible, which can help with insertion and comfortable positioning
Bulbed head for precision stimulation of the G-spot or prostate
Narrow neck allows it to sit comfortably once inserted
Beginner-friendly size
Cons
None that I can see!
Verdict
This is a lovely item and a great inclusion in the kit. It’s good to see items that are suitable for people regardless of their body or genital type, the shape and curve are excellent, and the size isn’t too intimidating for those who are new to anal play.
Day #14: Menthol Pleasure Balm
Today’s item is a 7g tin of Lovehoney’s menthol pleasure balm. This item isn’t sold separately in this form but it’s pretty similar to the Bliss Orgasm Balm, which I love and use regularly.
Product Info
In a nutshell, pleasure balm or orgasm balm is designed to be applied to the external genitals, especially the clitoris. The ingredients provide a tingling sensation and may encourage blood flow, promoting greater sensitivity.
The Menthol Pleasure Balm contains a pretty long list of ingredients, but most of them give me no cause for concern. It does contain propylparaben, and some people like to avoid parabens entirely for understandable reasons. However, according to a report by the Scientific Committee on Consumer Safety, “the SCCS has concluded that propylparaben is safe when used as a preservative in cosmetic products up to a maximum concentration of 0.14%.” I’m not a scientist, of course, but I would conclude from this data that the tiny amount in this product is unlikely to do you any harm.
Unfortunately this balm contains beeswax, so it is not vegan.
Pros
7g doesn’t sound like a very big tin, but you really don’t need a lot to get the effects so you’ll get a good few uses out of this
Genuinely works! I have had several tins of this stuff over the years and I love it. It really does enhance sensitivity (it’s not a magic orgasm spell, though, so keep your expectations realistic!)
Some of the plant-based oils and other ingredients may have beneficial properties for skin
Cons
Not vegan due to beeswax
Oily consistency can make clean-up a bit annoying
Strong minty scent may be unpleasant to some people
Verdict
I still really like this stuff, though I think personally I’ll be sticking to the vegan, paraben-free version.
Day #15: Plastic Massager
Today’s item is a handheld plastic massager. It’s red and sparkly, and has a central handle and then four arms each with a spherical bulb on the end to get deep into all those muscles and knots. On its own, this item retails for £5.99.
Pros
Light weight and ergonomic design make it comfortable to hold and use
Great way to give a deeper massage, especially if your hands or wrists get tired or sore
Flexible options – use one, two, or all four ends at once for different sensations
Really good for getting properly into sore muscles!
Basically zero maintenance – just wash off excess massage oil after use and you’re good to go
Cons
Because it’s hard plastic, you need to be a little bit careful – you could possibly hurt someone if you press too hard. We’re not talking “serious injury” here, but maybe “nasty bruise.”
Verdict
I really like this one. And it’s sparkly, which never hurts my opinion of a product!
Day #16: Micro Wand Vibrator
Today’s product is a micro wand vibrator. Look how tiny it is!
Product Info
Material: Plastic body. I thought the head material was probably silicone but wasn’t 100% sure, so I flame-tested it and based on what I know about deciphering flame test results I think I’m correct
Colour: Black
Body safe? Yes, assuming it is indeed silicone
Waterproof: No
Size: 4.5″ in total length
Speeds/patterns: 3 speeds, 7 patterns
Lube-compatible: Water-based lube is best
Cleaning: Wipe the head with a body-safe sterile wipe (do not submerge this toy in water)
Easy user interface and satisfyingly clicky buttons
Cons
Requires batteries, which are not included (2 x AAA)
Not waterproof
Vibrations not particularly powerful
Buzzy as fuck
Verdict
I think people see “wand vibrator” and assume that it’s going to be powerful. But this isn’t a wand in any meaningful sense. This is a wand. This tiny little thing, though, is just a crappy vibrator with a weak and buzzy motor designed to look like a micro version of a wand.
I already have something very similar from a previous calendar, and it’s often within reach because it does wonders for my sore neck when I’ve been sitting at the computer for too long. Partners have also really enjoyed having it used on them.
Day #17: Dice Sex Game
Today’s box contains a simple dice sex game. One dice includes pictures of items from the calendar (stroker, bullet vibe, paddle, mini wand, dildo, and massager). The other contains timeframes ranging from 1 minute to 15 minutes, plus a “free” option.
Pros
Can be a fun, low-pressure way into exploring with a partner if you are new and nervous about using toys or experimenting sexually
You can use the dice in different ways. I’m immediately thinking of a game where you roll the “implement” die three times and then have to come up with a quick scene that incorporates all three elements.
Cons
Things can end up feeling unbalanced if you follow the game too rigidly. If one person gets 15 minutes of something then the other rolls one minute, it’s probably not going to feel very mutual. Of course, you can get around this by creating “house rules” or just ensuring everyone gets roughly equal time (or whatever they want/need) even if you’re switching between different activities.
Verdict
Not really my thing, but perfectly fine for its intended audience.
Day #18: Ankle Restraints
Remember those velcro-fastening wrist cuffs from Day 8? Well, today’s box containd the matching set of ankle restraints. These, too, are black with rose gold hardware and come with a clip to fasten them together.
Pros
Like the wrist cuffs, they’re a huge step up from the rough nylon cuffs and those unsafe ribbon things from previous years
Soft and comfy to wear
Safe and beginner-friendly as you can unfasten them in a second
Very adjustable sizing
Cons
The clips are tiny and not very strong
Annoying dangling velcro strap when they’re on
Mostly, I’m just annoyed that these were a separate item. All four cuffs should have been in the same box as they’re clearly a set.
Verdict
Exactly like the other half of this matching set (sensing a pattern here?) these are far from amazing, but they’re fine. They do the job if all you want to do is experiment with light bondage. If you find you enjoy it, you can always splash out on some properly made kink ankle cuffs later on.
Day #19: Kegel Balls
Day 19’s box contains a set of kegel balls, AKA ben-wa balls. Kegel balls are interesting, because there are a lot of lofty claims out there about them. They’ll solve incontinence! They’ll make your orgasms better! They might even make it easier to orgasm if you struggle!
Is any of this true?
Eh. Maybe. Check out my past posts on kegel balls and kegel exercisers, especially this one, to learn more about what the current research does and does not say.
In this post I will be approaching kegel balls solely as a sex toy designed for pleasure, not as any sort of health or wellness device.
Product Info
Material: Silicone
Colour: Red balls with black casing
Body safe? Yes
Waterproof: Yes
Size: 3″ insertable length, 3.5″ tail, 1.1″ diameter across each ball
Speeds/patterns: N/A
Lube-compatible: Water-based lube is best
Cleaning: Boiling is best as this will kill all bacteria even in hard-to-reach places
RRP if bought as a single item:This similar set retails for £12.99
Pros
Small enough for beginners
Long and strong silicone cord for easy removal
Removeable sling makes cleaning easy
Cons
None that I can find – these are great.
Verdict
An ideal introduction to kegel balls for anyone who has never tried them before.
Day #20: Rabbit Cock Ring
Day 20’s box contains a silicone cock ring with rabbit ears. This can be used with the bullet vibrator from Day 1, or on its own. When combined with the bullet vibrator, the ears can provide clitoral stimulation to the receptive partner during penetrative sex as well as stimulating the wearer. On its own, it still gives you all the benefits of using a cock ring.
Product Info
Material: Silicone
Colour: Black
Body safe? Yes
Waterproof: Yes
Size: 1.5″ ring diameter, 1″ ears
Speeds/patterns: N/A
Lube-compatible: Water-based lube
Cleaning: Boiling, soap and water, or a 10% bleach solution
RRP if bought as a single item: Not available but this similar item retails for £24.99
Pros
Versatile toy suitable for use during masturbation or partnered sex, and with or without a vibrator
Adds clitoral stimulation, which a large majority of vulva-owners need to orgasm and which is not always forthcoming during p-in-v sex
Wide band for comfortable fit
Stretchy to accommodate different sizes
Cons
May not fit people with very girthy penises comfortably
Verdict
Realistically, this toy is not something I’m likely to use. My experience has been that vibrating cock rings during penetrative sex don’t tend to do much for me as the stimulation they provide isn’t consistent enough. But everyone’s different and it’s a perfectly fine item, just not really for me.
Day #21: Beginner Nipple Clamps
Day 21’s box contains a pair of nipple clamps. They’re made of rose gold plastic, with a little decorative lightning bolt charm and red silicone tips. The slider design allows you to loosen or tighten them as desired.
They’re cute; I like the colour and the lightning charm is a fun touch
Easy to put on and take off quickly
Adjustable to fit different nipple sizes and tightness preferences
Very gentle, which makes them suitable beginner nipple clamps
Cons
That beginner-friendly gentleness means they’re unlikely to be enough for wearers who prefer any significant pressure or intensity
Won’t fit people with larger nipples
The slider starts to rub off the coloured plating after a few uses
They don’t stay on particularly well and fall off at the slightest tug
Verdict
These are fine if you’re just after a pair of purely decorative nipple clamps or want to try something very gentle for your first time. However, they’re neither particularly functional nor particularly durable for anything more than that. If you like them or want to experiment more with nipple clamps, get a more robust pair of adjustable clamps or try clover clamps.
Day #22: Finger Vibe Sleeve
Box 22 contains a finger vibe sleeve. There’s a space to insert a bullet vibrator (such as the bullet vibe from Day 1, or any other bullet in your collection that fits) and a loop for your finger.
Product Info
Material: Silicone
Colour: Red
Body safe? Yes
Waterproof: Yes (but the bullet vibrator you use with it may or may not be, so check first!)
Size: 2.5″ long sleeve for bullet, 0.5″ diameter finger loop
Speeds/patterns: N/A
Lube-compatible: Water-based lube
Cleaning: Boiling, soap and water, or a 10% bleach solution
Pairs with the bullet vibrator from Day 1, allowing yet another way to use it
Offers a fun new way to explore fingering and hand sex, which I believe are wildly underrated sex acts and should be explored far more
Gentle texturing on the underside offers additional clitoral stimulation
Can reduce the physical effort of the giving partner during hand sex, which is useful if you suffer from pain or fatigue in your hands
Cons
The finger loop is tiny! It was snug on me, and I have small hands. Someone with larger hands doesn’t stand a chance using this
If your bullet vibrator isn’t super powerful, the silicone dampens the vibrations
Texturing could do with being a bit more pronounced
Verdict
This is a really nice addition to the kit at least in theory. However, it feels to me like the design was a bit rushed and basic things – is the finger loop large/stretchy enough to be comfortable, is the texturing pronounced enough to be felt by most users? – were missed.
Day #23: Under-Mattress Restraints
Today’s item is a set of under-mattress restraints with clips to attach cuffs at each corner. These four-way restraints are designed to fit under your mattress, which then anchors them in place. Use in conjunction with the wrist cuffs from Day 8 and the ankle cuffs from Day 18 for a full set of restraints.
Adjustable to use with all bed sizes, including my fabulous super-king
Great way to try bedroom bondage if you want to tie someone to the bed but don’t have a metal bed frame or other suitable hard points.
Easy to tuck them out of sight quickly if you need to without dismantling the whole set-up
Strong and sturdy material
Safe and easy introduction to bondage
Pairs with the cuffs in this set or, if you prefer, you can upgrade to better cuffs and continue using the restraint kit
Cons
I feel like the under-mattress restraints and pairs of cuffs should have been ONE item in the advent calendar, not three. Otherwise, no complaints.
Verdict
Overall, this is a great addition for the second-last day of the advent kit. I’m also pleasantly surprised to learn they will work with my giant bad, having assumed they wouldn’t. For people who are brand new to playing with bondage and restraint, they’re a safe and accessible place to start.
Day #24: Womanizer Liberty 2
Day 24’s box contains the second of this kit’s two premium products (the first being the We-Vibe Sync Lite from Day 9!) Namely, the Womanizer Liberty 2, a petite clitoral suction stimulator in a neat little travel case.
Product Info
Material: Plastic body and case, silicone nozzle
Colour: Black
Body safe? Yes
Waterproof: Yes, IPX 7 waterproof
Size: 4.5″ total length
Speeds/patterns: 8 intensity levels
Lube-compatible: Water-based lube
Cleaning: Soap and water or a 10% bleach solution, or remove the nozzle and boil-sterilise the nozzle only
Petite size makes it light and comfortable to hold
Removeable nozzle is easy to clean
Quieter than comparable models at the highest speeds
Two-way controls
5 year warranty should anything go wrong
Cons
Buttons are not always as responsive as they could be – sometimes I have to press twice to get the speed to change
Verdict
Yes yes yes yes. This is an excellent product and a great note to finish on! Honestly, as long as you like at least a few of the other things at least somewhat, this toy kinda makes the value of the entire kit.
Phew. And we’re done! Will I do this again next year? Probably! Until then, I’ll return you to the regular C&K content you know and love.
The Lovehoney Advent Calendar 2024 (24 Day) retails for £149 at Lovehoney UK and $199 at Lovehoney US, and contains £457/$530 worth of products! Move fast if you want one – these usually sell out by mid November.Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the this set to review. All views are mine (with occasional input from Mr C&K!) Affiliate links appear in this post.
Lovense pioneered the world of app-controlled sex toys, and remains perhaps the biggest name in that particular field. I’ve been really enjoying doing a series of reviews of some of their bestselling products recently. Following my recent reviews of the Flexer and Nora (and my ages-ago reviews of the Ferri, Domi 2, and Lush 2), next up is my Lovense Dolce review.
What is the Lovense Dolce?
The Lovense Dolce is a dual stimulation clitoral and G-spot vibrator. With its body in the familiar C-shape that we see on manysimilartoys, the Dolce is designed to be wearable and to be used hands-free. The idea is that the wider of the two arms sits inside the vagina, while the other arm rests against the clitoris.
This toy is bendable, meaning that you can adjust the central hinge to position it in a way that works for your body. It offers an insertable length of around 3″, and the clitoral stimulator is around 3.5″ in length. The insertable diameter is 1.4″ at the widest point.
The Dolce is made of body-safe matte silicone (very matte – plenty of lube required with this one!) It is IPX7 waterproof, or completely submersible for up to 30 minutes. A full charge with the included USB cable takes 70 minutes and gives you up to 2 hours of runtime. It also comes with a storage pouch.
Lovense Dolce Review: The Good
I’ve had mixed experiences with wearable dual stimulation toys over the years. Some have worked pretty well for me, while others have been total failures. How did the Dolce stack up? First let’s look at the things about it that I did like.
(Please ignore my horrible ratty nails – they desperately need redoing!)
It offers clitoral stimulation! I have to admit I have never really understood the seeming obsession so many people have with the Lovense Lush – a toy that provides no clit stimulation at all, which most people with vulvas need in order to orgasm. If you enjoy the Lush but want to get your clit involved too, or if you haven’t bothered with it because you need clit stimulation with your G-spot vibes, then the Dolce might be the toy for you.
The Dolce’s bendable design is fantastic. One of the eternal problems with dual stimulation toys is that they simply do not fit everyone’s anatomy. You can adjust the Dolce’s hinge until it sits correctly for your unique body shape. It won’t suit all bodies, of course – no toy can do that – but it will work for far more than a fixed shape toy would.
The vibrations are seriously strong. This is by far the most powerful wearable dual stimulation vibrator I have ever tried. I’m not sure I would go as far as to describe them as rumbly – there’s definitely more buzz at the higher levels, in particular – but they’re powerful enough to get the job done.
I love the ribbed texture on the underside of the clitoral stimulator.
It has dual directional controls! I feel like I bang on about this all the time, but I am so sick of toys with one button interfaces. Being able to move through the inbuilt settings (3 speeds and 7 patterns) in both directions is a refreshing change.
It actually stays in place well for hands-free/minimal-hands use.
Like most Lovense toys, the app adds a tonne of new options and levels of functionality. You can control the two motors independently, add or create new patterns, or sync your toy to music. You can also hand over control remotely (either to a partner or anonymously via a link – a lot of cam performers like Lovense toys for this reason.)
The app connectivity and responsiveness is excellent. I delved into the details of the Lovense app in more detail in some of my previous Lovense reviews, so check those out so I don’t just repeat myself!
It’s not too loud. I wouldn’t use it out in public unless you were in a space with a lot of noise, like a nightclub, but for general use its noise is pretty unobtrusive.
Lovense Dolce Review: The Bad
There were also a few things about the Dolce that I didn’t enjoy so much. Namely:
The goddamn neon pink colour again. It’s so so so bright. It practically hurts my eyes to look at it! I wouldn’t mind so much if the toys were available in literally any other colour, but the fact that so many of Lovense’s vulva toys are only available in bright neon pink has weird gendered connotations that I do not like.
The controls on the toy itself are kind of confusing. The “up” button is also the on/off button, and once you get up to the 7th setting it does not cycle back around to the first if you tap the up button again.
The options are pretty limited without using the app. In particular, you can’t control the two motors independently using the manual controls.
Though you can control the two motors separately through the app, the toy transmits a lot of vibrations throughout. This means you’re always going to feel at least some vibes in both ends even when only one motor is switched on. Honestly, there were times when I wasn’t even 100% sure which of the two motors I had running.
It’s heavy enough that I wouldn’t feel confident standing or walking around with it in for very long. The weight also makes it challenging to wear for more than a few minutes at a time.
Verdict
If you’re looking for a seriously powerful dual stimulation wearable vibe, look no further. I would recommend the Dolce to anyone who enjoys strong internal and external vibrations together, as long as you are able to comfortably wear a moderately heavy insertable.
With that said, the Dolce is pretty expensive. I can only really recommend it if the app features, long distance functionalities, or hands-free options are important to you. If not, you can get toys that will do much the same thing for a fraction of the price. Overall, though, an excellent product.
The Dolce retails for £210 but is currently on sale for £109 in the Lovense Pride month sale!
Thanks to the company for supporting this Lovense Dolce review by sending me the product free of charge. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views, as always, are mine.
I’m really enjoying creating this Lovense review series. Lovense have been a giant in the world of app controlled sex toys since creating the very first ones – the Max and Nora – in 2013, and their toys are consistently amongst the best reviewed in the industry. This week, it’s time for a Lovense Flexer review. (I’ve also got a Dolce review coming up soon, so look out for that.)
What is the Lovense Flexer?
The Lovense Flexer is an dual stimulation app-controlled wearable, hands-free vibrator, also called a “panty vibrator.” It is designed to mimic a fingering sensation (does it succeed? Go to the next section to find out!) The insertable portion measures 4″ in length and 1.4″ in diameter at the widest point, and the clitoral arm measures just under 2″ in length.
It has two vibrating motors, one for the clit and one for the G-spot, as well as a third motor controlling a “come hither” motion. The internal part moves gently back and forth against the G-spot, while the external part does the same against the clit. If you’re struggling to envision what I mean, check out the little video on the product page.
The Lovense Flexer is made of body-safe silicone. It is IPX7 waterproof (submersible for up to 30 minutes) and USB rechargeable. It also comes with a drawstring storage bag.
Lovense Flexer Review: What I Liked
I approach insertable toys, particularly those that claim to be hands-free, with a healthy degree of scepticism and low expectations. They often just don’t work particularly well for my body. However, the Flexer was a pleasant surprise which blew my expectations out of the water in many ways.
The many things I liked about it include:
It actually moves when it’s inside me! I have tried some toys that claim to have come-hither motions but, once inserted, basically don’t move. This is not that.
For me, the level of intensity from the come-hither motion is just about perfect. It’s fairly gentle – it certainly doesn’t feel like someone pounding me with their fingers as hard as they can! – but still enough to be felt. Yes, excellent, top marks.
It actually works hands-free! Anyone who has seen me talk about “hands-free” toys before knows what a feat this is. But yes, I can use this toy with minimal to no use of my hands. This presents a bunch of fun possibilities for potential ways to use it. [1]
It fits my body well. Dual stimulation toys in a fixed shape are always a bit of a gamble because all our bodies are built differently, but this one can sit comfortably inside me and make reliable contact with my clit.
Speaking of which, a wearable vibrator that actually offers good clitoral stimulation! Wow! This shouldn’t be a novel concept, given that the overwhelming majority of people with vulvas require clit stimulation to orgasm, but somehow it still is.
When the toy is inside me, the external arm sort of moves back and forth against my clit. Which feels, if I may be blunt, fucking incredible.
Some reviewers have expressed a wish that this toy was softer, but I actually enjoy the firmness in this case.
You can control the vibrations and the come hither motion separately. So if you’re in the mood for one and not the other, no problem.
The charging-time-to-battery-life ratio is pretty good. A one-hour charge will give 1.5-2 hours of use, depending on settings.
[1] Pro tip: if you struggle with using this toy hands-free, try a few different positions. It works particularly well for me in a face-down position, but your mileage may vary. It also works really well in a sitting position. Potentially one for the erotica writers who get turned on while they work!
What I Didn’t Like
Despite an overall very positive experience with the Flexer – honestly, far more positive than I was expecting – it does have some problems and downsides.
The silicone is very matte, to the point of being quite uncomfortable to insert and wear if it’s not adequately lubed. Unfortunately, too much lube means it is likely to fall out! There’s a fine balancing act with this one, and getting the lube quantity slightly wrong really hampers the experience.
It also tends to fall out if I stand up and walk around while wearing it.
There doesn’t seem to be any way to control the two vibrating motors separately, even in the app. This can be a problem if, like me, you enjoy external vibrations much more than internal ones.
The interface on the toy itself (i.e. without the app) is really minimal, just one button with 7 preset options (3 speeds and 7 patterns.)
I hate the colour. I’m not against pink in general but this is like… eye-hurtingly neon pink.
The noise. I am yet to find a come-hither toy that DOESN’T do this, to be fair, but it squeaks in a way that is really, really distracting and kind of a sensory nightmare. It’s also fairly loud and distinctive so honestly, I wouldn’t recommend using this one out and about unless you’re in a place with a LOT of background noise (like a nightclub.)
How is the App Functionality?
I’ve had a mixed experience with Lovense toys in that some really need the app to get the most out of the product, while others function fine without it. The Flexer is definitely in the former camp.
The Lovense app offers both long-distance and close-range control for the Flexer. The close range function works over 20-30 feet (depending upon obstacles and signal, presumably) and the long distance function can operate from anywhere in the world with Bluetooth and an internet connection.
I feel like I’m repeating myself a lot with the Lovense app as it’s broadly much the same over all toys in the range, so suffice to say that the connectivity is quick, the connection is stable, the responsiveness is excellent, and there are tonnes of options – from syncing your toy with music to connecting with various adult camming platforms. There’s also interactive content, games, and the ability to send someone an anonymous “control link” for a set period of time.
The app is also what enables you to control the vibrations and the come hither motions separately, and to hand over control to your partner if you want to. (They will also need the app and a decent Bluetooth connection.)
Unlike many toy companies, Lovense allows you to add more than one partner in its app without removing anyone. This is a small thing, but it really does make a difference to those of us who are non-monogamous.
Honestly, I mostly use the app in its most basic way – controlling the motors while masturbating with the toy solo. But it does the job, and it does it well.
Lovense Flexer Review: Verdict
I would not recommend buying this toy unless you are comfortable with using the app pretty much whenever you use the toy. Without it, the functionality just isn’t there to justify the price tag. I also wouldn’t recommend this one if you’re looking for a toy for discreet public play. Both the volume and the type of noise this toy produces make it likely it will be audible, and involving people in your play without their consent isn’t okay.
The sensation this toy offers, though, is fantastic. It’s also not exactly like any other product I’ve tried.
The Lovense Flexer retails for £159 but is currently on sale for Pride month at just £89.
Thanks to Lovense for sending me this product to review. This Lovense Flexer review contains affiliate links and buying through them sends me a small commission at no extra cost to you.
Wearable vibrators are eternally popular, and every time I think I’ve seen every possible iteration on this theme something new comes along. With the promise of a toy you can use hands-free, a toy that can provide clitoral stimulation (which most people with vulvas need to orgasm) during penetrative sex, or a toy you can use in places where it would normally not be okay to use a sex toy, the allure of these types of products is obvious.
This time it’s the Sync O from the original wearable toy pioneers, We-Vibe. But how did it perform?
We-Vibe Sync O: Details
The We-Vibe Sync O is a remote-controlled and app-controlled vibrator designed primarily to be worn during penetrative sex to provide extra clitoral stimulation. It is a U-shaped toy with a bendable hinge, allowing you to position it in the way that works for your body.
There’s a loop-shaped internal arm designed to hold it in place securely inside your body, and an external portion that rests against the vulva and clit. Design-wise, the We-Vibe Sync O is clearly a successor to other popular We-Vibe products such as the Sync and Chorus.
The insertable portion measures 3″ in length, and the clitoral arm measures about 4″.
The Sync O is made of body-safe silicone and available in two colours: green or purple. It is fully waterproof and submersible for use in the bath or shower, and USB rechargeable. You’ll get up to 150 minutes runtime from a full charge depending on which settings you’re using. You also get a little storage bag, but for some reason this isn’t really big enough to fit the toy, the remote, and the charging cable so it’s a bit pointless.
Let’s have a look at the pros and cons of the We-Vibe Sync O.
We-Vibe Sync O In Use: What I Liked
The Sync O’s vibrations are reasonably strong and rumbly
The hinged design makes it easy to position the vibrator comfortably
The remote control’s responsiveness is excellent and somewhat makes up for the annoying one-button interface (see below)
The product page says that the We-Vibe Sync O’s internal arm is designed to keep the toy securely in place. This is likely because the flexible silicone loop pushes outwards against the vaginal walls when you’re wearing it. I did find that it was less likely to fall out than other wearable toys I’ve tried (though the trade-off was some considerable discomfort – see below.)
The texturing on the underside of the clitoral arm adds an extra bit of friction and additional stimulation
The silicone is soft, smooth, and easy to clean
The Sync O is pretty quiet in use
We-Vibe Sync O In Use: What I Didn’t Like
Companies always sell these toys as “hands free” but in my experience they rarely actually are. As with the Chorus, I found I needed to use my hand to hold the We-Vibe Sync O in place during use. Otherwise, it just slipped out of position and away from my clit, leading to an experience far more frustrating than pleasurable.
The single button interface on the toy itself limits your options if you don’t want to use the remote or the app.
I found the insertable loop really uncomfortable, bordering on painful, to wear. The sensation of having my vaginal walls pushed outwards was a bit like having a speculum inserted at the gyno (in other words, the least sexy thing imaginable.) Getting a penis or dildo inside me alongside it? No chance. This is a pretty major issue considering it’s the main selling point of the toy and renders it virtually unusable for me.
The We-Vibe App
The We-Vibe app is free to download on Android or iOS. Connecting your toy via Bluetooth is easy, with clear instructions, and takes less than 30 seconds. From there, you can select “Play” and make use of all the app’s functionalities including:
Single Vibe, which allows you to adjust the toy’s speed on a constant vibration setting
Multi vibe, which allows you to use up to four different settings and switch between them quickly
Touch mode, which was annoyingly useless (it’s supposed to change the vibrations based on your finger movements on the screen, but actually did the same lacklustre juddering vibration no matter where and how I pressed)
Beat, which syncs your toy to music.
Playlist, in which you can create your own personalised collection of settings in a specified order
Ambient, in which the toy responds and vibes along to ambient noise around you. For the record, I do not recommend using toys in public. Yes, people can probably tell, and yes, you’re probably making them uncomfortable.
The app’s responsiveness is generally good, and I found connectivity to be reliable. In practice I don’t really use apps to control toys that much – somehow, pulling out my phone mid-sex feels like it ruins the moment! The app offers some intriguing possibilities, but I don’t see myself actually using it very often.
I did not have the opportunity to test the app’s long-distance functionality as I no longer have a long-distance partner to try it with. However, I will say that my experience with the We-Vibe app’s distance features have been… a mix. With the Chorus, it worked beautifully. With the Rave 2, it didn’t work at all. I suspect this is due to app version upgrades rather than specific toys, though, as it’s the same basic tech in all of them.
Verdict
Though I was impressed by the We-Vibe Sync O’s motor and bendable design, it’s let down hugely by the fact that I can’t actually wear it for any significant period of time as the insertable part just causes me pain. Of course, all bodies are different. You might not have any issue with wearing this toy at all – and the many rave reviews indicate that it works well for a lot of people!
This is really a “know your body” situation. If your vagina is more accommodating than mine and you’re looking for a wearable toy, it could be a great choice for you.
You can buy the We-Vibe Sync O from Lovehoney for £159.99 (UK) and $169 (US.) Don’t forget to enter my Lovehoney discount code “AFF-COFFKINK10” for 10% off your entire purchase at checkout.
Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review. All views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.
Arosum, who both sponsored this double review and recently came on board as a site sponsor, is a rare beast in this industry: a sex toy retailer that does not use gendered language in its marketing. You won’t find Arosum toys grouped into limiting and cissexist categories such as “for women” and “for men.” Instead, toys are categorised by type and body part.
This is such an easy change to make if you want to make your sex toy marketing more inclusive, and yet so many retailers fail.
Arosum kindly send me the Vibratwin Strapless Strap-On and the Kegelator Vibrating Kegel Balls to review.
Strapless strap-ons are a divisive topic in the sex toy space. Some love them and others hate them. I’ve always been quite indifferent. I had a mediocre experience with one in my twenties, and haven’t really bothered again since. So I was curious to see how I’d get on with the Arosum Vibratwin Strapless Strap-On.
Fun fact, as I discovered when doing Google keyword research for this post: Vibratwin is also the name of a dual-action floor cleaning machine!
Vibratwin strapless strap-on details
The Vibratwin is a classic strapless strap-on vibrator, with one arm to go inside the wearer and then a protruding arm for them to fuck their partner with. The main shaft measures 5.35″ in length and 1.57″ in diameter at the widest point, and the shaft for the wearer measures 5.51″ in insertable length (but is very curved) and 1.26″ in diameter at the widest point.
The Vibratwin is made of body-safe silicone in a pretty shade of green. In the box you’ll also find a remote control and a storage bag (though, weirdly, the bag isn’t really big enough for the toy unless you squish it in at a weird angle!)
The Vibratwin is IPX7 waterproof and rechargeable. The battery life – around 45 minutes on a full charge – isn’t great, but is anyone really doing penetrative sex for longer than 45 minutes at a time anyway?
In use: what I liked
I really like the curved shape of the wearer’s shaft on the Vibratwin, for two reasons:
It helps the toy to actually stay inside me
It presses very pleasurably against my G-spot
Other things I like about this toy:
The “come hither” motion of the main shaft. It feels great and it means that, if you want to have strap-on sex without a lot of thrusting, you can just slide the shaft inside your partner and let the toy do the hard work. There are 3 different speeds.
The versatility. You can control the come-hither motion and the vibrations separately. Or, if you’re not in the mood for either, just leave them switched off.
It takes much less set-up than my regular strap-on, which I love but which always requires several minutes of futzing with straps and rings before it’s ready to go.
The remote control is a really nice addition, making it easy to control the toy in use with a partner. It’s fast and responsive.
There’s no reason you can’t also use it as a solo toy, if you want.
The silicone is really soft and smooth.
Anything I don’t like?
The inevitable squeaky whine that accompanies the “come hither” motion. This isn’t really Arosum’s fault, it’s probably almost impossible to make a toy that does this motion without it, but I still hate it.
The ridges on the main shaft. These will work really well for some people but for me, that level of texturing is more likely to be painful than pleasurable. As such, I think I’d prefer to use this toy when I’m Topping (assuming my partner enjoys that texture) rather than bottoming.
The vibrations are quite weak and buzzy. I don’t really like internal vibrations anyway, though, so I’ll just keep them turned off when using this toy in the future.
Verdict
Surprisingly great! I really like this one and will definitely use it again.
I’ve written about kegel balls (AKA pleasure balls) and their purported benefits before. Some proponents claim that they can strengthen the pelvic floor, reduce incontinence, or enhance (or make it easier to have) G-spot orgasms. The actual evidence, though, doesn’t really stack up. The data supporting the bladder control claims is minimal and contradictory, and I could find no evidence (beyond the anecdotal) to support the orgasm claims.
Kegel exercises themselves are good for you, helping to prevent incontinence and other pelvic floor problems. It’s a good idea to do them regularly. But do kegel balls or other exercisers really help? The jury is out on that one.
Due to the lack of evidence to support any health claims, I choose to look at kegel balls and kegel exercises purely as sex toys.
With that in mind, how does the Kegelator stack up as a sex toy?
The Kegelator measures 8.27″ end to end, of which 4.33″ is insertable and the rest is the tail. The insertable portion is 1.54″ wide at the widest point, and 0.79″ at the narrowest point. It’s made of body-safe silicone in a dusky pink shade and is the classic “two connected balls with a long tail” shape.
As well as vibrating, the top part of the Kegelator moves in a “come hither” motion to stimulate the G-spot.
What I liked about the Kegelator
The main thing I like about this toy is its shape. The size and slight curve of the head is ideal for seeking out my G-spot and targeting it with precision.
The remote is fast, responsive, and allows you to move between the 10 patterns and settings in either direction.
It’s comfortable enough to wear for quite a while, if you want to.
The silicone is silky soft.
Anything I didn’t like?
That whining noise again!
The fact that you can’t control the vibrations and come hither motion separately. I don’t like internal vibrations and would really like to turn them off while still using the other function!
60 minutes battery life isn’t great, especially for something you might theoretically want to wear for longer periods.
The vibrations are weak and buzzy.
Verdict
Unlike the Vibratwin, I think the Kegelator is just okay. It’s really let down by the lack of dual controls, and the buzzy vibrations will be a downside for anyone looking for powerful internal vibes.
You’ve heard of rabbit vibrators. You’ve probably heard of Satisfyer’s famous Penguin clitoral suction toy. But have you ever seen a whale vibrator before? Well, now you have! Specifically, the Dr Whale vibrator, which I recently received to test and review.
Monster Pub Dr Whale 2: Basics
The Dr Whale 2 is a curved vibrator shaped like a little whale. It measures 7 inches in total when stretched out flat (4 inches insertable) and 1.3 inches in diameter at the widest point. It houses two motors, one in the whale’s “body” and one in its tail.
The Dr Whale 2 is coated in soft and body-safe silicone in a pretty shade of pale blue. It is rechargeable via the included USB cable and you get 120 minutes use out of a full charge. You also get a storage bag for the toy.
Confusingly, the website says the toy is waterproof but the included instruction booklet says NOT to submerge it in water. I’m going to assume that means it’s splashproof only, though I’m not entirely sure. I didn’t want to risk breaking it by submerging it. For a toy of this price point, though, I feel like “waterproof” should come as standard.
The Dr Whale 2 features an internal heating element that warms up to a comfortable 42C within a couple minutes of being switched on. Most intriguing of all, it is controllable via the Monster Pub app (available free on iOS and Android).
App-Controlled Kegel Exerciser
One of the advertised purposes of the Dr Whale 2 is as a kegel exerciser. Performing kegel exercises regularly can help strengthen your pelvic floor, which some evidence shows has a variety of benefits from better bladder control to stronger orgasms. I delved into some of the science on kegel exercises a long time ago on this blog, and anecdotal evidence seems to suggest that while using internal exercisers like the Dr Whale 2 doesn’t necessarily make the kegel exercises more effective, using one might make you more likely to perform them regularly.
I downloaded the app and the toy connected easily. The connection is good, reliable and steady as long as you have a stable internet connection.
You have to set up an account on the app, which takes a few seconds. It also asks you to select your gender, but only offers “girl” and “boy” (which is weirdly infantilising as well as annoyingly binary.)
The app then asked me to complete a “Q&A For Girls” which consists of a few questions about whether you’re using the app alone or with a lover and whether you want to share it with a partner. It also, however, includes THIS:
I strongly suspect this is just some really, really bad Google Translate but the last thing I want to see in a sex toy app is talk of being “molested”. Gross. It also gives me pause about the app’s security and safety. Is it likely that someone is going to randomly take control of my toy? Because that’s, erm, deeply concerning if so.
Once you’re in, you can choose from a range of pre-set patterns and those created by other users. You can also create your own using the “Gesture” mode, connect with a partner via chat tools such as WeChat or WhatsApp, or make the vibes respond to movement with the “Action/Reaction” mode.
If you go into the “Health” tab at the top of the screen, you’ll find the various kegel exercise section. In this mode, a voice talks you through a range of exercises. The sessions are pretty short, stating at just 3 minutes, so they’re quite accessible. If you need a little extra encouragement to do kegel exercises regularly, you might enjoy being gently talked through it by the narrator’s soothing voice. I certainly find it helps me to actually bother doing my exercises!
The app responsiveness is good. It’s also fairly intuitive to use, with just a few basic controls to get your head around.
What About as a Sex Toy?
I like the shape and flexibility of the Dr Whale 2. I also really like the gently ridged texture of the silicone on one side of the whale’s body. Its flexy tail means it will work for a variety of bodies and comfortable positioning is easy. The downside of the flexible tail is that, when you’ve inserted the toy, it’s difficult to get a satisfying amount of clitoral pressure.
I’m not really a fan of internal vibrations, though, so I soon turned to using it solely as a clitoral toy.
Unfortunately, the Dr Whale 2 really falls down for me on power. It’s not the worst by any stretch, and I’ve certainly used more expensive toys that were packing less of a punch than this one. But ultimately the vibrations are of mediocre strength and very buzzy. This toy is highly unlikely to ever get me off.
Verdict
A mixed bag here.
I do think the Dr Whale 2 is a good kegel exerciser. The guided sessions on the app are a nice touch and the vibrations add more pleasure to the whole process. As a sex toy, though, I’m unlikely to ever use it again. It’s just too buzzy and not really powerful enough to be satisfying.
