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Custom BDSM collars, custom floggers and more header image

Where Can You Get Custom BDSM Collars, Toys, and Other Handmade Kink Gear?

Published on July 11, 2024April 2, 2026 by Amy

When you first start out in kink and BDSM, you might be thinking about building up a toybag. Perhaps you’ve been exploring for a while and you’re ready to upgrade your basic kit for something a bit fancier. Perhaps you’re in a new relationship or have a special occasion coming up and want to treat yourself or your partner to something special. Custom BDSM collars, outfits, toys, and other handmade kink gear can be amazing, one-of-a-kind additions to your collection.

To be absolutely clear: you don’t need expensive custom BDSM gear to be kinky. We’ve all met those individuals who think that a toybag worth thousands of dollars makes them a truer kinkster but who doesn’t know how to actually use any of that stuff safely. Kink isn’t about the toys you own. You can do amazing things with your bodies, with your imaginations, with pervertables, and with some basic items from a beginners’ bondage kit or your local sex shop.

But if you want to add some artisan pieces or custom BDSM gear to your collection, here are five places you can go to find them.

Find Custom BDSM Artisans at a Fetish Market

I love a fetish market (though my bank balance does not!) Fetish markets or kink markets are in-person events where vendors can come to network, meet customers, and sell their wares.

Some happen at regular intervals, such as the monthly Birmingham Bizarre Bazaar/BBB in the UK and the annual Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco. Others are pop-up or one off events. You’ll also find kink and fetish sections in the vendors’ area at some Pride festivals.

The beauty of fetish markets is that you can see and handle items before you buy them. You may even be able to try things—try that collar on, swing those custom floggers against your arm to see how they feel, see how sturdy that bespoke BDSM furniture is—before you commit. And, since most kinky crafters and makers are hugely passionate about what they do, you’ll benefit from their knowledge and advice to help you choose the perfect thing for you.

Shop on Etsy (For Now?)

The Etsy adult content guidelines have made the news over the last couple weeks as the popular crafters’ and makers’ marketplace has clamped down on pornography, sex toys, and other sexual content. At the time of writing, the guidelines explicitly state that kink and BDSM products ARE still permitted:

Etsy allows the sale of non-insertable and non-penetrable adult toys and sexual accessories, as long as they meet our requirements for sale on Etsy. This includes items such as restraints, handcuffs, nipple clamps, body harnesses, sex furniture, and BDSM accessories.

Permitted adult toys and sexual accessories may not be shown in use or worn by human models in listing or review photos. Consider using a mannequin or flat lay photography instead.
Etsy content guidelines as of 11/07/2024

So this is good news for those who buy or sell handmade and custom kink gear. It may change, of course, so keep an eye on it. For now, though, there are thousands of beautiful kinky pieces from custom BDSM collars, cuffs and harnesses to wax play kits, floggers, whips, clamps and much more for sale on Etsy.

A couple of my personal favourites are Kandles by Kitten for the best wax play candles you’ll ever try, and Freebound Studio for all-vegan collars, cuffs and more.

Commission a Custom BDSM Gear Maker Directly

If you find a particular artist or maker you like but they don’t have quite what you’re looking for, ask if you can commission them to make you something unique. Others in your local kink community will probably also have recommendations for their favourite makers. A commission allows you to choose everything from the colours and materials to the sizing.

Again, kinky makers and crafters tend to get into this field because they love it. So if you ask them to help you create something, you’re sure to end up with a unique and beautiful piece you’ll love.

Make Your Own

Not everyone can or wants to get into making their own stuff, of course. This isn’t an easy or quick solution. Many kinky makers have spent years honing their crafts to get as good as they are. But if you’re passionate about making things, have the time, and are willing to drop money on the equipment you’ll need, making your own is one way to guarantee you get something truly bespoke.

Of course, if you already have a crafty talent – such as leatherworking or wood-turning – it should be easy to turn your skills to kinkier projects.

Don’t try to make your own sex toy unless you have an excellent working knowledge of body-safe materials and how to work with them, and test your handmade kink gear thoroughly before you use it on a person.

Check Out the Spicerack, a Marketplace for Adult Artisans and Kinky Crafters

Spicerack is a new platform that is basically Etsy for adults! This sex-positive online marketplace allows makers to sell products from sex toys and custom BDSM gear to lingerie, accessories, art, novelties, sexual wellness products and more. It’s an absolute treasure-trove.

For example, The Kinky Peach sells made-to-order and custom BDSM collars in delightfully whimsical and playful designs. LVX offers custom floggers in a range of handle wood and leather colour options. And I am absolutely lusting over Naughty Pawsies’ colourful shades and quirky pieces.

Whatever custom BDSM gear your kinky heart desires, there’s probably someone on Spicerack selling it… or someone you can commission to make it for you!

Affiliate links appear in this post. All views, as always, are mine.

Header image for Pixie Dildo glow in the dark dildo from Good Vibes Toys review

[Toy Review] Good Vibes Toys Pixie Glow in the Dark Dildo

Published on July 9, 2024April 2, 2026 by Amy

Anyone who knows me knows that I love sparkly things. So of course, when Good Vibes Toys offered me their Pixie Glow in the Dark Dildo to test, I was all over it. This is probably going to be a fairly short and sweet review today, but we’ll see.

Pixie Dildo glow in the dark dildo from Good Vibes Toys

The Pixie Dildo measures 6.5″ in total length, just under 6″ in insertable length, and 1.67″ in diameter at the widest point. It is made of body-safe silicone and features a suction cup base.

Good Vibes Toys Pixie Glow in the Dark Dildo: Positives

The first thing I noticed about the Pixie Glow in the Dark Dildo by Good Vibes Toys is that it’s cute as fuck. The two-tone blue and pink silicone reminds me of the colours of the trans pride flag, and is infused with glitter. It’s fun, femme, and a departure from the more realistic styles that not everyone enjoys.
I love the flexible shaft. This is just a toy that’s so easy to use, and I appreciate that about it. I don’t need tonnes of warm-up to enjoy it, just a little lube and it slips straight in comfortably. A worthy addition to my “lazy masturbation” collection.
Though the silicone of the shaft has a slight ripple that my fingers can detect, my vagina cannot. This is, for all intents and purposes, a smooth toy. I can’t always deal with too much texture, which can be overwhelming to the point of uncomfortable, so I appreciate this.
The very slightly curved tip is nice for G-spot or prostate stimulation that isn’t too intense.
The suction cup is strong and holds the toy in place well.
It’s a great strap-on dildo. The Pixie Glow in the Dark Dildo’s suction cup holds it in place well in a harness, and it’s light enough to wield comfortably.
It also serves well as an anal dildo, having just the right level of squish and flex for comfortable insertion and a relatively slim shaft.
As the name implies, it glows in the dark! This isn’t a feature I need my dildos to have, but it’s sort of whimsical and fun.

Any Downsides?

Any negatives with this product are pretty subjective. It’s objectively a decent toy, but bodies are all different and everyone has unique preferences. So here are some things you’ll want to be aware of.

The Good Vibes Toys Pixie Dildo is fairly slimline, which won’t satisfy all users. I tend to prefer small to medium insertables, so it’s a positive for me, but if you prefer longer or girthier toys you’ll want to look elsewhere.
It may be too soft and flexible for some users. If you prefer a firmer toy, this won’t be for you.
The matte silicone is a little grabby. This issue can be overcome with plenty of water-based lube. In a totally ideal world I prefer a softer and less grabby silicone, but it’s not a dealbreaker.
The straight-ish shape and very gently curved tip won’t work for people who prefer more pronounced curves in their toys.
It’s kinda expensive, at $69.99 (about £55) for a cute but otherwise fairly basic silicone dildo. Get it if you love the aesthetic, but there are cheaper options available if you’re just looking for something simple, safe and functional.

In short, this is a simple product that does what it does pretty well. Its main unique selling point is its gloriously sparkly and colourful appearance.

Shop Pixie Glow in the Dark Dildo and other products in the range from Good Vibes Toys.

Thanks to Good Vibes Toys for sending me this product to review. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views are mine, as always.

[Better Sex Products Review] For Play Couples’ Chocolate

Published on July 7, 2024March 18, 2026 by Amy

Whenever I encounter a sex-related thing I haven’t tried before, I immediately want to try it (and tell my readers all about it, obviously.) That’s why, when For Play Couples’ Sex Chocolate came across my social feed recently, I immediately fired off an email to founder Victoria to enquire about featuring them on my blog.

She was kind enough to send me some samples of her company’s products to try. We decided to publish this review today in celebration of World Chocolate Day.

Sex and chocolate are, after all, two of life’s greatest pleasures.

So What is For Play Chocolate?

For Play Chocolate came about when Victoria, a former CMO with an MBA, began to research the issue of sustaining intimacy in a long-term relationship. Drawing on research from an array of experts including Dr Karen Gurney and Emily Nagoski, PhD, she decided to create a product to “remind couples to make time for intimacy and play.”

Known variously as couples’ chocolate, sex chocolate, horny chocolate, and aphrodisiac chocolate, For Play chocolate kits are designed to help couples to connect, get in the mood for romance, and enjoy greater levels of intimacy.

Each box of For Play sex chocolate comes with six chocolates (three for each partner) and six “Play Cards”. The cards offer suggestions for erotic experiences to try, from taking a sexy shower together to experimenting with food play. There are also question cards to help you connect, reflect, and learn more about each other and your relationship.

The chocolates are labelled “His” and “Hers”, and there are boxes available for same-gender or different-gender couples. I’d love to see a non-binary or genderless version added to the range in the future, if possible.

For Play sex chocolate kits come beautifully packaged in sleek and stylish boxes in either pink, purple, or green. The chocolates themselves are beautiful, too, decorated with pink and bronze edible shimmer. The overall first impression is of luxury and high quality.

For Play’s products are vegan and made using ethically sourced 62% Ecuadorian dark chocolate. Their supplier is Original Beans chocolate, rated as a leading company by Chocolate Scorecard for environmental, sustainability, and labour practices.

How Does For Play Sex Chocolate Work?

For Play’s sex chocolate is super delicious, combining the sweet-bitter combo of quality dark chocolate with the infusion of subtle, natural botanical flavours. It melts smoothly in the mouth and the popping candy leaves a fun tingling sensation in its wake.

But how does it work?

Mr C&K had a long chat about this when we sampled our chocolates, and we came to the conclusion that this product works in two main ways. I’m going to call them “direct” and “indirect.”

The Direct Effects: The Science Bit

The direct way that For Play sex chocolate works is through its botanical and adaptogenic ingredients. To understand this better, we need to delve into the science a little bit.

An aphrodisiac, in the most basic sense, is “a food or drug that arouses sexual instinct, brings on desire, or increases sexual pleasure or performance” (Healthline.) Numerous foods, from oysters to strawberries and even hot chilli peppers, have been alleged to be aphrodisiacs throughout history.

Another common food thought to have aphrodisiac properties? Dark chocolate.

Little to no concrete scientific evidence directly links most common aphrodisiac foods to an increase in sexual desire. However, this doesn’t mean there is nothing to the concept at all. Experts have attempted to explain aphrodisiacs’ apparent benefits through various means, from simple placebo to the sensual pleasure of consuming delicious things, the “luxury” status that society affords some of these foods, and the impact on bodily functions that play a role in sexual activity and desire (such as blood flow and dopamine release.)

Some foods and edible compounds, therefore, may play a role in sexual functioning in various ways. Let’s look at the active ingredients in For Play’s couples’ chocolate and what the research has to say about them.

Dark Chocolate

Dark chocolate like the kind For Play uses has often been associated with sex, sensuality, and desire. is rich in both antioxidants and caffeine, both of which can improve blood flow. It also contains L-arginine, which may enhance sexual responsiveness. A 2021 systematic review suggested that “l-arginine, as part of a combination product, may be considered for the treatment of women with Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, regardless of age.” (Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder or HSDD is, broadly, a lack of sexual desire or very low desire that causes distress or negatively impacts your life.)

Consuming chocolate also triggers the release of chemicals such as endorphins and dopamine, which are associated with feelings of happiness and wellbeing.

Maca

Maca, which comes from the Peruvian maca root plant, has long been thought to boost fertility and sexual desire. One 2002 study indicated an improvement in self-perception of sexual desire in men after 8 weeks of maca use. Another pilot investigation also indicated that treatment with maca extract increased sexual desire amongst male athletes. Maca is only in For Play’s “For Him” chocolates, as there is currently more evidence for its effectiveness in (cis) men.

Ashwagandha

Ashwagandha is a herb that originated in India and has been utilised in various ways for centuries. A 2015 pilot study showed that ashwagandha root extract could improve sexual functioning in otherwise healthy cis women. Another 2022 study indicated that treatment with ashwagandha provided a “statistically significant improvement” in sexual functioning amongst women with HSDD. Ashwagandha is in For Play’s “For Her” chocolates.

Fenugreek

Fenugreek, a clover-like herb that belongs to the pea family, finds use in both cooking and herbal medicines. One study found that “Sexual function analysis for all women… found that treatment with fenugreek resulted in reported increases in sexual arousal and desire in women” (Tester, 2015.) Another double-blinded and placebo-controlled 2021 study found that fenugreek “offered significant beneficial effects to sexual problems” amongst its female participants.

Korean ginseng

Ginseng is a vasodilator, or something that opens the blood vessels. By increasing blood flow in this way, it can have sexual benefits such as helping with erectile dysfunction. A small 2002 study and a 2008 systematic review found “suggestive evidence for the effectiveness of red ginseng in treating ED.” Likewise, a placebo-controlled double blind 2010 study found that “Oral administration of KRG extracts improved sexual arousal in menopausal women.”

In a Nutshell…

A product like For Play sex chocolate for couples is a helping hand, not a magic bullet. If you’re stressed out, angry at your partner, or suffering from the sexual side effects of health problems or medication, it isn’t going to magically override all that and make you horny. No food or substance can, because human sexuality is way more complicated than that.

What its ingredients can do, though, is give your body a natural nudge in the right direction. Combined with creating the right conditions for pleasure and intimacy – which we’ll discuss more in the next section – these adaptogenic ingredients can work with your body to enhance intimacy and pleasure.

For Play notes that you should seek medical advice before using their products if you are pregnant, breastfeeding, or taking any medications. And, of course, you should avoid this product if you are allergic or sensitive to any of the ingredients.

The Indirect Effects of For Play Sex Chocolate: Finding New Ways to Stay Connected

The indirect way that For Play Chocolate works is all about creating the time, space, and physical and emotional context for greater intimacy in your relationship.

Sex, after all, is mental at least as much as physical. In her life-changing book Come As You Are, Emily Nagoski writes extensively about the devastating impact that life stress, mental health challenges, lack of trust, lack of emotional safety, and feelings of pressure can have on sexual desire. To connect better with our partners and ourselves, we need to reduce stress, feel safe and seen, and make space for desire and pleasure.

Staying connected and keeping intimacy, passion, and sex going in a long-term relationship can be challenging. New relationship energy (NRE) naturally fades over time into the more comfortable, cosy warmth of long-term love. This is particularly true when you’re married or nested, your lives are very entangled, or you’re raising children together.

It is important for couples to set time aside to focus on each other and their relationship. Exploration, adventure, and trying new things can all help to keep the spark of novelty alive. With those things and a little effort, the long haul can be where the really good stuff is. There’s nothing like completely knowing someone and them knowing you inside and out, and choosing each other every day.

Using a product like For Play sex chocolate can help couples to create that all-important time together. It can facilitate the conditions needed for intimacy of all kinds – including sexual, physical, and emotional – to flourish.

For Play Couples’ Chocolate is really a date night in a box. You get to set aside dedicated time for your relationship, enjoy some tasty treats together, and explore new ways of connecting. There are even some suggested Spotify playlists to help set the mood.

I found the question cards particularly great for this aspect of the experience. The question prompts sparked some interesting discussions and also plenty of laughter. Even seemingly simple questions (“What does intimacy mean to you?” was my favourite) can get you thinking and talking about things in a different way.

Verdict

I really enjoyed this product, which is far more than just a gimmick. A lot of thought and care has gone into the formulation and creation of For Play’s kits. The quality of the chocolate, ethical credentials, and beautiful presentation really elevates them, too.

For Play sex chocolate retails at £28 per couples’ kit. That’s less than you’d pay for a meal in a mid-range restaurant or about what you’d pay for a couple of drinks in a nice bar. Since you only need one chocolate each time, you’ll get three experiences out of one box. And, of course, you can continue to use the cards for as long as you like.

A thoughtful (and tasty) romantic gift or a cute way to set aside a little “us time” with your partner. There’s also a 30 day satisfaction guarantee with your purchase.

Shop For Play Couples’ Chocolate here.

Thanks to For Play for sponsoring this review and sending me a box of their sex chocolate for couples to test. All views are, as always, mine. Professional product images by For Play and reproduced here with permission.

Magic wand with sparkles, header image for Godemiche wand attachments review

[Toy Review] Godemiche Wand Attachments

Published on July 5, 2024April 2, 2026 by Amy

Anyone who has read my work for any length of time will know about my obsession with both wand vibrators and things with interesting textures. So combining the two? Yes, hello, I’m listening! Godemiche, purveyors of all kinds of colourful silicone goodness, have recently created wand attachment heads for the Hitachi Magic Wand and Doxy vibrators.

What Are Wand Attachments and Why Use Them?

Doxy magic wand vibrator with Godemiche wand attachment

Wand attachments are removeable covers that fit over the head of a wand vibrator such as a Doxy or Magic Wand. They are usually made of a soft and flexible material such as silicone or TPE.

Attachments are a fantastic addition to wand vibrators, allowing you to explore different sensations and ways of using your wand. For example, an attachment can turn your wand into a rabbit, penis masturbator, or G-spot vibe, concentrate the vibrations into a smaller area, or add texture.

They can also lower the intensity of a wand for those who find the strong vibrations to be too much. And, if you’re sharing your toy with a partner, swapping out toppers between users is a quick and easy way to minimise your risk of STI transmission without having to pause to sterilise the toy itself.

Godemiche Magic Wand & Doxy Attachment Heads: 2 Sizes, 3 Textures

Godemiche wand attachments in four textures and colours

Godemiche’s wand attachment heads are currently available in two sizes: one to fit the Doxy (Original or Die Cast), and the other to fit the Vibratex/Hitachi Magic Wand. Though you probably could use them with some other wand brands, they are only officially recommended for the Doxy or Hitachi and therefore you risk damaging the toppers if you use them outside of these recommendations.

These attachments are made of body-safe silicone and, like all Godemiche products, available in a dizzying array of colours. You can choose your own or ask the company to surprise you. Since they are silicone and non-powered, you can clean them with warm water and antibacterial soap and sterilise them with a body-safe medical wipe or by boiling.

Godemiche’s Magic Wand/Doxy attachment heads are available in six different textures. I received the original three—Waves, Ridges, and Bubbles—to try out.

Waves

I was the most excited about this one because the Waves is one of my all–time favourite textures from Godemiche’s increasingly extensive range of grinding toys.

I’ve always found this one works best with a firm surface underneath because I want to grind against it hard. So putting it on a Magic Wand/Doxy attachment is genius because it allows you to apply as much pressure as you like and move the head of the wand in different motions. A back-and-forth motion with the vibrator on a low or medium setting feels like having dozens of little tongues flicking over your clit.

Get this one if… you’re looking for continual clitoral stimulation that’s soft and flexible, yet still moderately intense.

Ridges

This one is best suited to those who prefer more intense stimulation. It feels a bit like the Waves, only “more”—the ridges are firmer and have less give to them, but you still get that continuous back-and-forth stimulation.

I absolutely adore this one, particularly in combination with the vibrations. I’ve also found that this attachment head works really well if I put my Magic Wand/Doxy down on a surface (such as the bed, a sex pillow, or a wand mount) and then grind against it.

Get this one if… you prefer a more intense rubbing sensation, or have enjoyed the Waves texture but wished it was a little firmer.

Bubbles

I don’t reach for my Bubbles Grind Rings that often because they’re slightly too gentle for me. When I want texture, I generally want a little more than this subtle design can provide. It’s fine for a warm-up or when I’m already feeling very sensitive, but by itself it doesn’t do a huge amount for me.

With that said, this will work really well for some people and might be a good choice for those who are trying Magic Wand attachment heads for the first time.

Get this one if… you prefer a gentler sensation or find too much extreme texture overwhelming or uncomfortable.

Godemiche Doxy/Magic Wand Attachment Heads: Verdict

Obsessed. Ob. Sessed.

A way to make my beloved Doxy even better? Fuck yes. I adore these things and will be yelling about them to every wand vibrator fan I know.

Godemiche wand attachments retail for £34.99 for a surprise colourway in the texture of your choice. Custom colourways add a small additional charge.

Thanks to Godemiche for providing me with these products to review. All opinions are, as always, mine. Affiliate links appear in this post!

Header image featuring a splash of water for Wicked Simply Aqua lube review

[Lube Review] Simply Aqua Water-Based Lubricant

Published on July 1, 2024March 17, 2026 by Amy

Choosing lube should not be as much of a minefield as it is. Many lubricants still contain numerous toxic or otherwise harmful ingredients such as parabens, propylene glycol, glycerine, benzocaine, and petroleum-derived ingredients. And, of course, sex toy and lube safety do not feature in any sex ed curriculum that I know of. This week, I received Wicked Simply Aqua water-based lube to review.

I’m very choosy about lube, mostly to protect my vaginal health. I’ve had too many experiences of reaching for some random bottle of lube at a sex party or on a lover’s bedside table only to have to go and rapidly wash it off due to an adverse reaction to some ingredient or other.

At the current time, there are two brands of water-based lube I reach for on a regular basis: Sliquid and Bloomi. I rotate others in occasionally (such as my fave CBD-infused lube and a silicone-based one I like when I’m not using silicone toys), but those three are my staples. When I go to play parties or on sex dates, I bring my own. As I said, I’m picky.

So did Simply Aqua water-based lube by Wicked Sensual Care meet my admittedly exacting lube standards?

Wicked Simply Aqua Water-Based Lube: What’s In It?

Woman's hand holding a bottle of Simply Aqua water-based lube

When I’m considering trying a new lube, the first place I go is to the ingredients list. The second place I go is to the internet to research any ingredients I’m not familiar with.

So what’s in Wicked Simply Aqua water-based lube?

Water
Propanediol (corn): the various sources I read tell me that this is an alternative to propylene glycol, with the key difference that it is derived from corn and its production is less environmentally damaging. The jury’s out on how similar its effects are in the body – some say it is safer, others say it functions basically identically to propylene glycol. These ingredients raise osmolality, which can cause dryness, irritation, and may increase the risk of yeast infections in people with vaginas. According to a fantastic in-depth post by fellow blogger Phallophile Reviews, many lubes – including this one – have an osmolality over the safe limit recommended by the World Health Organisation.
Cellulose gum (cotton seed): a safe plant-derived thickening agent.
Hydroxyethylcellulose (tree bark): a plant-derived gelling and thickening agent. Lubes with this ingredient can be a good choice for people trying to conceive as it does not hinder sperm motility.
Disodium EDTA: a stabilising agent that numerous sources sources mark as an ingredient of concern. It is a penetration enhancer, which means it facilitates the absorption of various compounds through mucus membrances (such as the vagina or anus.) It can also cause irritation. I’m disappointed to see it in Wicked Simply Aqua.
Olea Europaea (olive) leaf extract: a safe ingredient that is rich in antioxidants and may have positive benefits for the skin.
Stevia Rebaudiana leaf/stem extract: a common plant-derived sweetener that is not a sugar and will not have the negative effects of sugars on the genitals. It may also have some skincare benefits when used topically.
Citric acid: this is commonly used in lube to balance the pH to more accurately mimic the body’s. It is also a preservative. Some sources say to be wary of this ingredient, while others say it is likely harmless in the tiny quantities that appear in lubricants.
Sodium benzoate: a food-grade preservative that is likely harmless in the small quantities used in lube.
Potassium sorbate: Another food-safe preservative which is harmless in small quantities.

Yeah, it’s not looking great for this lube. The natural ingredients with beneficial properties, such as the stevia and olive extracts, are positives. However, the use of propanediol and disodium EDTA give me serious pause.

Wicked Simply Aqua is suitable for vegans and certified cruelty-free. It is also pH balanced for vaginal use.

Sensory Properties & Performance In Use

It’s a real shame about Wicked Simply Aqua’s couple of questionable ingredients. Those aside, I actually really liked its sensory profile and performance. It has a nice medium-thin consistency, flows well, and a little goes a long way. It is also non-sticky, doesn’t leave a tacky residue behind, and won’t stain your sheets.

Its scent is mild and only really noticeable if I have my nose very close to the product. What scent there is, I can best describe as tangy and mildly citrussy. Its taste is surprisingly sweet, which I imagine is due to the stevia.

It feels nice, lasts well (for a water-based product, which will always need reapplying eventually), and works well with my body’s natural lubrication.

Wicked Simply Aqua Lube Review: Verdict

Sadly I cannot recommend Wicked Simply Aqua lube.

Despite its nice sensory properties and solid performance, the ingredients are too problematic. Of course, your acceptable risk profile may be different from mine. My vulva is very sensitive and prone to reacting badly to irritation. For that reason, I tend to be highly cautious about my lube ingredients.

As always, I’m only giving you my personal opinion and experience. And this time, my opinion is that there are plenty of better, body-friendlier lubes out there that you should buy instead. Try:

Wicked Simply Aqua is available from Babeland, Shevibe, Good Vibes, and Sex Toys UK.

Thanks to Babeland for sending me the Wicked Simply Aqua Lube to review. All views are, as always, mine! Affiliate links appear in this post.

Header for Lovense Dolce review featuring abstract image of bright pink flames on a black background

[Toy Review] Lovense Dolce

Published on June 28, 2024March 21, 2026 by Amy1 Comment

Lovense Dolce review update/disclaimer 2025: Lovense has come under fire for significant security breaches in the last few months, including allegedly exposing users’ email addresses in the supposedly-anonymous app. Though the company claims to have fixed the problem, this is part of a pattern of worrying privacy concerns when it comes to app-controlled sex toys in general. Do with this information what you choose, but it has made me extremely hesitant about using toy apps personally. I have updated my Lovense reviews to include this information to allow you to make an informed choice.

Lovense pioneered the world of app-controlled sex toys, and remains perhaps the biggest name in that particular field. I’ve been really enjoying doing a series of reviews of some of their bestselling products recently. Following my recent reviews of the Flexer and Nora (and my ages-ago reviews of the Ferri, Domi 2, and Lush 2), Lovense sent me the Dolce.

What is the Lovense Dolce?

Lovense Lush review product image - C-shaped pink wearable vibrator

The Lovense Dolce is a dual stimulation clitoral and G-spot vibrator. With its body in the familiar C-shape that we see on many similar toys, the Dolce is designed to be wearable and to be used hands-free. The idea is that the wider arm sits inside the vagina, while the other rests against the clitoris.

This toy is bendable, meaning that you can adjust the central hinge to position it in a way that works for your body. It offers an insertable length of around 3″, and the clitoral stimulator is around 3.5″ in length. The insertable diameter is 1.4″ at the widest point.

Product image for Lovense Dolce Review showing the toy's bendable central hinge

The Dolce is made of body-safe matte silicone (very matte—plenty of lube required with this one!) It is IPX7 waterproof, or completely submersible for up to 30 minutes. A full charge with the included USB cable takes 70 minutes and gives you up to 2 hours of runtime. It also comes with a storage pouch.

Let’s dive into the Lovense Dolce review, shall we?

Lovense Dolce Review: The Good

I’ve had mixed experiences with wearable dual stimulation toys over the years. Some have worked pretty well for me, while others have been total failures. How did the Dolce stack up? First let’s look at the things about it that I did like.

Lovense Dolce product image close up on ribbed underside of the toy — (Please ignore my horrible ratty nails. They desperately need redoing!)

It offers clitoral stimulation! I have to admit I have never really understood the seeming obsession so many people have with the Lovense Lush—a toy that provides no clit stimulation at all, which most people with vulvas need in order to orgasm. If you enjoy the Lush but want to get your clit involved too, or if you haven’t bothered with it because you need clit stimulation with your G-spot vibes, then the Dolce might be the toy for you.
The Dolce’s bendable design is fantastic. One of the eternal problems with dual stimulation toys is that they simply do not fit everyone’s anatomy. You can adjust the Dolce’s hinge until it sits correctly for your unique body shape. It won’t suit all bodies, of course—no toy can do that. But it will work for far more than a fixed shape toy would.
The vibrations are seriously strong. This is by far the most powerful wearable dual stimulation vibrator I have ever tried. I’m not sure I would go as far as to describe them as rumbly—there’s definitely more buzz at the higher levels, in particular—but they’re powerful enough to get the job done.
I love the ribbed texture on the underside of the clitoral stimulator.
It feel like I bang on about dual directional controls in every review, and I am so glad the Lovense Dolce has them. Being able to move through the inbuilt settings (3 speeds and 7 patterns) in both directions is a refreshing change.
It actually stays in place well for hands-free/minimal-hands use.
Like most Lovense toys, the app adds a tonne of new options and levels of functionality. You can control the two motors independently, add or create new patterns, or sync your toy to music. You can also hand over control remotely (either to a partner or anonymously via a link—a lot of cam performers like Lovense toys for this reason.)
The app connectivity and responsiveness is excellent. I delved into the details of the Lovense app in more detail in some of my previous Lovense reviews, so check those out so I don’t just repeat myself!
It’s not too loud. I wouldn’t use it out in public unless you were in a space with a lot of noise, like a nightclub, but for general use its noise is pretty unobtrusive.

Lovense Dolce Review: The Bad

In the interest of keeping the review balanced, let’s look at the things about the Lovense Dolce I didn’t like.

The controls on the toy itself are kind of confusing. The “up” button is also the on/off button, and once you get up to the 7th setting it does not cycle back around to the first if you tap the up button again.
The options are pretty limited without using the app. In particular, you can’t control the two motors independently using the manual controls.
Though you can control the two motors separately through the app, the toy transmits a lot of vibrations throughout. This means you’re always going to feel at least some vibes in both ends even when only one motor is switched on. Honestly, there were times when I wasn’t even 100% sure which of the two motors I had running.
It’s heavy enough that I wouldn’t feel confident standing or walking around with it in for very long. The weight also makes it challenging to wear for more than a few minutes at a time.

Verdict

If you’re looking for a seriously powerful dual stimulation wearable vibe, look no further. I would recommend the Dolce to anyone who enjoys strong internal and external vibrations together, as long as you are able to comfortably wear a moderately heavy insertable.

With that said, the Dolce is pretty expensive. I can only really recommend it if the app features, long distance functionalities, or hands-free options are important to you. If not, you can get toys that will do much the same thing for a fraction of the price. Overall, though, an excellent product.

The Dolce is available directly from Lovense as well as from retailers like Lovehoney UK, Lovehoney US, Shevibe, and Sex Toys UK.

Thanks to the company for supporting this Lovense Dolce review by sending me the product free of charge. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views, as always, are mine.

Header image for Lovense Flexer review featuring suggestive image of an orange with a woman's fingers touching it

[Toy Review] Lovense Flexer

Published on June 26, 2024March 17, 2026 by Amy

Lovense Flexer review update/disclaimer 2025: Lovense has come under fire for significant security breaches in the last few months, including allegedly exposing users’ email addresses in the supposedly-anonymous app. Though the company claims to have fixed the problem, this is part of a pattern of worrying privacy concerns when it comes to app-controlled sex toys in general. Do with this information what you choose, but it has made me extremely hesitant about using toy apps personally. I have updated my Lovense reviews to include this information to allow you to make an informed choice.

I’m really enjoying creating this Lovense review series. Lovense have been a giant in the world of app controlled sex toys since creating the very first ones—the Max and Nora—in 2013. Their toys are consistently amongst the best reviewed in the industry. This week, it’s time for a Lovense Flexer review. (I’ve also got a Dolce review coming up soon, so look out for that.)

What is the Lovense Flexer?

Product image of pink dual stimulation panty vibrator for Lovense Flexer review

The Lovense Flexer is an dual stimulation app-controlled wearable, hands-free vibrator, also called a “panty vibrator.” It is designed to mimic a fingering sensation (does it succeed? Go to the next section to find out!) The insertable portion measures 4″ in length and 1.4″ in diameter at the widest point. The clitoral arm measures just under 2″ in length.

It has two vibrating motors, one for the clit and one for the G-spot, as well as a third motor controlling a “come hither” motion. The internal part moves gently back and forth against the G-spot, while the external part does the same against the clit. If you’re struggling to envision what I mean, check out the little video on the product page.

The Lovense Flexer is made of body-safe silicone. It is IPX7 waterproof (submersible for up to 30 minutes) and USB rechargeable. It also comes with a drawstring storage bag.

Lovense Flexer Review: What I Liked

I approach insertable toys, particularly those that claim to be hands-free, with a healthy degree of scepticism and low expectations. They often just don’t work particularly well for my body. However, the Flexer was a pleasant surprise which blew my expectations out of the water in many ways.

The many things I liked about it include:

It actually moves when it’s inside me! I have tried some toys that claim to have come-hither motions but, once inserted, basically don’t move. This is not that.
For me, the level of intensity from the come-hither motion is just about perfect. It’s fairly gentle – it certainly doesn’t feel like someone pounding me with their fingers as hard as they can! – but still enough to be felt. Yes, excellent, top marks.
It actually works hands-free! Anyone who has seen me talk about “hands-free” toys before knows what a feat this is. But yes, I can use this toy with minimal to no use of my hands. This presents a bunch of fun possibilities for potential ways to use it. [1]
It fits my body well. Dual stimulation toys in a fixed shape are always a bit of a gamble. All our bodies are built differently, after all. But this one can sit comfortably inside me and make reliable contact with my clit.
Speaking of which, a wearable vibrator that actually offers good clitoral stimulation! Wow! This shouldn’t be a novel concept, given that the overwhelming majority of people with vulvas require clit stimulation to orgasm, but somehow it still is.
When the toy is inside me, the external arm sort of moves back and forth against my clit. Which feels, if I may be blunt, fucking incredible.
Some reviews have mentioned a wish that the Lovense Flexer was softer, but I actually enjoy the firmness in this case.
You can control the vibrations and the come hither motion separately. So if you’re in the mood for one and not the other, no problem.
The charging-time-to-battery-life ratio is pretty good. A one-hour charge will give 1.5-2 hours of use, depending on settings.

[1] Pro tip: if you struggle with using this toy hands-free, try a few different positions. It works particularly well for me in a face-down position, but your mileage may vary. It also works really well in a sitting position. Potentially one for the erotica writers who get turned on while they work!

What I Didn’t Like

Despite an overall very positive experience with the Flexer – honestly, far more positive than I was expecting – it does have some problems and downsides.

The silicone is very matte, to the point of being quite uncomfortable to insert and wear if it’s not adequately lubed. Unfortunately, too much lube means it is likely to fall out! There’s a fine balancing act with this one, and getting the lube quantity slightly wrong really hampers the experience.
It also tends to fall out if I stand up and walk around while wearing it.
There doesn’t seem to be any way to control the two vibrating motors separately, even in the app. This can be a problem if, like me, you enjoy external vibrations much more than internal ones.
The interface on the toy itself (i.e. without the app) is really minimal, just one button with 7 preset options (3 speeds and 7 patterns.)
I hate the colour. I’m not against pink in general but this is like… eye-hurtingly neon pink.
The noise. I am yet to find a come-hither toy that DOESN’T do this, to be fair, but it squeaks in a way that is really, really distracting and kind of a sensory nightmare. It’s also fairly loud and distinctive so honestly, I wouldn’t recommend using this one out and about unless you’re in a place with a LOT of background noise (like a nightclub.)

How is the App Functionality?

I can’t do a Lovense review without trying the product with the Lovense app, so let’s see how the Flexer performs. I’ve had a mixed experience with Lovense toys in that some really need the app to get the most out of the product, while others function fine without it. The Flexer is definitely in the former camp.

The Lovense app offers both long-distance and close-range control for the Flexer. The close range function works over 20-30 feet (depending upon obstacles and signal, presumably) and the long distance function can operate from anywhere in the world with Bluetooth and an internet connection.

I feel like I’m repeating myself a lot with the Lovense app as it’s broadly much the same over all toys in the range, so suffice to say that the connectivity is quick, the connection is stable, the responsiveness is excellent, and there are tonnes of options – from syncing your toy with music to connecting with various adult camming platforms. There’s also interactive content, games, and the ability to send someone an anonymous “control link” for a set period of time.

The app is also what enables you to control the vibrations and the come hither motions separately, and to hand over control to your partner if you want to. (They will also need the app and a decent Bluetooth connection.)

Unlike many toy companies, Lovense allows you to add more than one partner in its app without removing anyone. This is a small thing, but it really does make a difference to those of us who are non-monogamous.

Honestly, I mostly use the app in its most basic way – controlling the motors while masturbating with the toy solo. But it does the job, and it does it well.

Lovense Flexer Review: Verdict

I would not recommend buying this toy unless you are comfortable with using the app pretty much whenever you use the toy. Without it, the functionality just isn’t there to justify the price tag. I also wouldn’t recommend this one if you’re looking for a toy for discreet public play. Both the volume and the type of noise this toy produces make it likely it will be audible, and involving people in your play without their consent isn’t okay.

The sensation this toy offers, though, is fantastic. It’s also not exactly like any other product I’ve tried.

The Lovense Flexer is available directly from Lovense but also from retailers such as Lovehoney UK, Lovehoney US, Shevibe, Babeland, and Good Vibes.

Thanks to Lovense for sending me this product to review. This Lovense Flexer review contains affiliate links and buying through them sends me a small commission at no extra cost to you.

Header image for Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro review

[Toy Review] Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro

Published on June 18, 2024March 17, 2026 by Amy

When a company offers me toys to review and gives me free rein to choose products from their catalogue, as Funzze did recently, it becomes an increasingly complicated decision the longer I do this work. There are, after all, only so many variations on the basic vibrator, dildo, or stroker out there in the world, and I do like to keep things interesting. I tend to select review products, therefore, in one of three ways:

Choose the thing I think might actually get me off
Choose something with an intriguing name or description
Choose the most bonkers and unhinged stuff I can find

On this occasion, I went with a combination both options #1 and #2, which is how the amusingly-named but intriguingly-designed Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro came to be in my possession.

What is the Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro?

Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro clitoral stimulator

The Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro is described as a “high frequency clit stimulator.” It tapers up to a point, ending in a rounded tip which rotates at high speeds when the vibrations are switched on. It is made of body-safe silicone with an ABS plastic accent band above the handle.

The Orgasm Monster also comes with two additional removable silicone tips, one shaped like a little tongue and the other shaped like a pair of bunny ears.

The Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro is USB rechargeable and fully waterproof (submersible.) It also comes with a storage bag, which is a nice touch you don’t usually get for toys at this price-point. In terms of battery life, I got a couple of hours out of mine on a full charge.

What I Liked About The Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro

Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro clitoral stimulator with rabbit ears head

Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro clitoral stimulator with tongue head

I found a lot to like about the Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro, particularly given its very affordable price (we’ll talk about that more in a minute.) So what did I like about it?

Perhaps most importantly, it lived up to its name. It gets me off, and it does so pretty reliably.
I love the inclusion of the additional heads! This simple little extra adds so much more bang for your buck, do to speak. It also makes the toy an appealing choice for those who are new to clitoral toys. Having options allows you to experiment with a few different sensations to find out what you like. Each of the three options (no head, bunny ears head, or tongue head) provides a distinctive experience.
The stimulation this toy offers is very, very pinpoint. Of course, this isn’t everyone’s thing. It’s not even my thing all the time – I have to be in the mood for it! But when that’s what I’m after, this toy delivers. If you are looking for seriously pinpoint clitoral pleasure, you’ll find it here.
I absolutely love the bunny ears attachment. The soft and flexible ears flicker back and forth, and – in my experience – feel particularly good when positioned on either side of my clit from above, stimulating it from the sides.
The Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro’s tip offers a good mix of firmness and flexibility. The “ball” at the top is pretty firm, but the neck leading to it has some give. This means that you can enjoy intense stimulation but, for me at least, without it tipping over into “so intense it’s painful.”
It’s pretty powerful, particularly when used without either of the attachments! I can sometimes orgasm with this toy without even turning it onto the most powerful setting, which is pretty impressive (and, honestly, pretty rare.)
It is not “silent”, despite what the marketing copy says (there is literally no such thing as a silent vibrator. It does not exist.) However, at under 50dB it’s also not too loud and its noise level and type is fairly unobtrusive.
The handle is comfortable to hold and only minimally transmits vibrations into my hand.
Its single button is easy to press, well positioned, and sufficiently raised that you can feel for it without needing to look.
It retails at just $35.99. That’s about £28 for my UK readers. There’s also a one-year warranty included should you have any problems.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

Overall, I like the Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro quite a lot. There were a few things that didn’t work so well for me, though:

I really don’t like the tongue attachment. Despite the promising flicking motion when I switched it on, the flicking completely stops as soon as I actually apply it to my body. The result is the sensation of being poked in the clit by the surprisingly pointy little tongue. Your experience may vary, of course, as this is really a matter of personal preference.
This is probably unavoidable, but the tips do dampen the vibration transmission quite a bit. I found this more noticeable with the tongue attachment than the bunny ears one, but with both it significantly reduced the intensity.
I don’t love the one-button interface. It’s easy to use, but only being able to scroll one way through the settings and patterns is annoying. For a toy this intense, it would greatly improve the user experience to be able to go down a setting without having to scroll all the way back through.
The Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro’s vibrations, though decently strong, are pretty buzzy. I personally find that less problematic on a pinpoint toy than a broader one, for some reason, but it’s something to be aware of.

Funzze Orgasm Monster Pro: Verdict

This is a surprisingly good little clitoral toy at a very affordable price! Whether you’re on a budget or just looking to experiment with pinpoint clitoral toys, it’s a good pick and holds its own against many of its much pricier competitors. I probably need to reevaluate my cynicism about cheaper toys, honestly. They really do seem to be getting better and better all the time. This one impressed me more than I expected it to!

The Orgasm Monster Pro is available directly from Funzze.

Thanks to Funzze for sponsoring this post. This means they paid me to write an honest and unbiased review. All opinions and writing are, as always, mine.

Header image for Nothosaur Toys ALLA review featuring a purple stylised tentacle

[Toy Review] Nothosaur Toys ALLA

Published on June 17, 2024April 2, 2026 by Amy

Nothosaur Toys only recently came onto my radar, when they reached out and asked about sponsorship. But I’ve already begun recommending them to readers who ask me about fantasy toys. With an impressive collection including alien dildos, tentacle dildos, dragon dildos, fantasy grinders, and much more, they have all sorts of great offerings for fans of the weird and wonderful. Nothosaur kindly sent me the ALLA tentacle dildo to review.

What is the Nothosaur Toys ALLA?

Nothosaur Toys ALLA, a long pink and blue tentacle dildo

The Nothosaur Toys ALLA is a tentacle dildo based on sources such as the Kraken sea monster mythology and the Cthulhu science fiction/horror stories. And it is literally a giant tentacle. It features a large heavy base and two rows of suckers along a flexible shaft. The long shaft tapers gently to a point.

The ALLA is available in several colourways. I chose the light pinkish-purple with blue accents known as “Redemption”, which is super pretty. For a small additional cost, you can also request a custom colourway of your choice.

The Nothosaur ALLA is available in six sizes, ranging from XS (11.8″ in total length) up to “Legendary” (41″ in total length.) Pay close attention to the size chart when you’re ordering, because if you’re not careful you’ll end up with something a lot bigger than you expected! I ordered the ALLA in a medium, which measures 22″ in total length and 1.1″ in diameter towards the top of the tentacle. The sheer idea of one that’s almost twice as large again makes my eyes water, but you might be a lot braver than me!

Nothosaur ALLA Review: What I Liked

Nothosaur Toys are gaining a great reputation in the world of fantasy sex toys, and it’s easy to see why. The ALLA is the first of their products I have tried, and there are plenty of things about it that I really like. Namely:

The Nothosaur Toys ALLA is a beautifully designed dildo. If you have a tentacle kink, I don’t think you could do much better! The detailing is impressive and the use of the two silicone colours adds both depth and an ethereal, otherworldly quality which can be tremendously appealing to lovers of fantasy toys. The Nothosaur dragon insignia is stamped into the base.
The silicone is body-safe and looks and feels to be of a high quality. So many fantasy toys are still being made from unsafe jelly materials or porous TPE/TPR. It’s great to see more and more silicone options coming onto the market. The ALLA’s silicone is very matte, and the suckers can be a little grabby, so using plenty of water-based lube is essential.
“Depth play” and “depth training” – gradually training your body to take longer toys safely and comfortably, either vaginally or anally – isn’t my thing as I find it far more painful than pleasurable. However, it is a fairly popular kink and relatively few body-safe toy options for this purpose have been available. The ALLA, with its softness and long, tapered body, is perfect for those who want to focus on depth of penetration in their play.

Nothosaur Toys ALLA tentacle dildo, close up of suckers

That texture! Oh my goodness, that texture! The Nothosaur ALLA’s suckers provide incredible additional stimulation when you use it internally. And there’s another possibility, too: repurposing the ALLA as a grinding toy for clitoral play. Seriously, try it and thank me later.
Thanks to the large base and lengthy shaft, the ALLA is anal-safe if that’s your thing.
Its suction cup holds it in place well despite its large size and significant weight. Some reviewers have commented that they can hang the entire toy from the ceiling with the suction cup!
The toy arrived quickly, and was discreetly packaged with no indication of what was inside.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

Nothosaur Toys ALLA tentacle dildo, shown in full length

When I tried to use it for (presumably) its intended purpose of penetration, I found the Nothosaur ALLA to be slightly too floppy and flexible to be truly satisfying. I was able to insert it with plenty of lubrication and warm-up, but it took a few attempts because it kept bending away from my body when I applied pressure rather than slipping inside. If you enjoy very soft, flexible and gentle toys, this might be a good thing for you. For me, though, I found I wanted a little more rigidity.

I ordered the ALLA in medium firmness (the firmer of the two available options, the other being “soft.”) So keep this in mind if you’re looking for a firmer penetrative toy. I’m actually not convinced I’d be able to use it anally for this reason. All bodies are different, though, so your mileage may vary.

Due to its design, the ALLA can also be a bit of a pain to clean. All those little suckers can harbour bodily fluids, which can breed bacteria if not properly cleaned. For that reason, I really recommend boil-sterilising your toy after each use to ensure that it is completely clean. It just has too many creases and crevices for me to feel confident recommending any other method.

Nothosaur ALLA Review: Verdict

The ALLA is totally different from anything else in my collection, and I kind of love it. I am unlikely to use it as a penetrative toy again (as I said, it’s a little too flexible for me and ultra lengthy toys aren’t really my thing.) However, I will definitely be making plenty of use of the clitoral stimulation possibilities afforded by all those fabulous little suckers!

If you’re looking for a fantasy-style depth trainer or just have a kink for tentacles, you’ll love this toy.

The ALLA’s retail price depends upon the size and customisation options you choose. It begins from just $79.99 for the XS size in a standard colourway, up to $379.99 for the Legendary size. With the smaller options surprisingly affordable and the larger options reasonably priced considering the materials and skill that go into crafting these toys, I am happy to call the Nothosaur ALLA a great value product!

You can also use coupon code COFFEE for 10% off your entire Nothosaur Toys order.

Thanks to Nothosaur Toys for sending me the ALLA and sponsoring this honest and unbiased review. All views and writing, as ever, are mine. Don’t forget to check out the rest of the Nothosaur catalogue including the limited-edition Pride range!

Mr Hankey's Toys unicorn dildo review header featuring a stylised image of a rainbow unicorn horn and ears

[Toy Review] Mr Hankey’s Toys Unicorn Dildo

Published on June 15, 2024April 2, 2026 by Amy

In my first Mr Hankey’s Toys review last month, I noted that I was kinda blown away by the sheer size of the toy in front of me. That theme continues in this, the second of three Mr Hankey’s reviews. Today, we’re looking at this glorious unicorn horn dildo.

When the Mr Hankey’s Toys gave me pretty much free rein (heh) to pick a selection of toys from their site, I couldn’t possibly resist this one. I mean, just look at it!

Mr Hankey’s Toys Unicorn Dildo

The Mr Hankey’s Toys Unicorn Dildo is available in four sizes, ranging in total length from 12″ up to 18.38″, in insertable length from 7″ up to 12″, and in diameter at the widest insertable point from 1.51″ up to 2.7″. I requested the second smallest size (“Medium”), which measures 14″ in overall length, 8″ in insertable length, and 1.83″ in diameter at the widest insertable point. Once the decorative base is factored in, this is a large toy.

This toy is made of 100% body-safe silicone.

It is also available in four firmness levels: 40% soft (the softest), 75% soft, medium firm, and extra firm. You can get it in any of 24 different colourways, including a white/gold two tone. I requested bubblegum pink because I was feeling extra femme that day and it seemed somehow appropriate for this toy. There’s also the option to add a vac-u-lock hole.

Things I Like About the Mr Hankey’s Toys Unicorn Horn Dildo

Mr Hankey's Toys unicorn dildo bent in the middle to show its flexibility

I mean, the entire design of this toy is just so whimsical and delightful. When you’ve tested and reviewed as many sex toys as I have, one vaguely penis-shaped piece of silicone starts to blend into the next. (Figuratively. Silicone toys do not melt together in storage and I wish this stupid myth would die already. But that’s a rant for another day.)

But a dildo that looks like a unicorn horn? Yeah, that’s new and novel. The detailing is impressive and gives a fun and playful feel that makes me smile every time I see its silly face and ginormous horn on my desk, where it is currently functioning as a particularly “extra” paperweight.

I chose the 75% soft option, which is the second softest. In this shape, that means the horn part is very squishy, bendy, and flexible. According to the company, this softness level mimics a bio-cock at 75-80% of full erection, but on this product it definitely seems softer and more flexible than that. If you want anything other than serious squish and flex, go for one of the firmer options. If, like me, you tend to prefer less intense insertable toys, the 75% soft is a great choice.

I also like the gently tapered design a lot. Coupled with the flex, this makes it ideal for targeted but not-too-intense G-spot stimulation.

The texturing of the horn is lovely, too. A lot of textured insertable toys are too much for me. They can be so intense that they become uncomfortable or even painful. The Unicorn Dildo, though, has a subtle rippling, twisted texture that is pronounced enough to be felt but also gentle.

Thanks to the bottom-heavy design, the Unicorn Dildo stands on its own. The company does warn that not all firmness levels and sizes will necessarily do this, though, so be aware of that if this feature is important to you. It does mean that putting it down on a firm surface and using it hands-free is potentially an option for users who are so inclined.

This large base also means that the Unicorn Dildo is totally anal-safe, if that’s your thing.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

As with the Perfect Penis dildo I reviewed last month, my only real complaint with the Unicorn Horn dildo is that it’s heavy. The large and solid base really adds some weight and heft to this toy, meaning that it can be a challenge to lift and manipulate if you struggle with holding heavy objects.

The silicone is perhaps a little more matte than I would ideally prefer, which means it can be quite grabby. For large toys like this one, that’s very noticeable. However, it’s nothing that you can’t solve with plenty of water-based lube. It also picks up quite a lot of lint and dust in storage, so you’ll want to give it a quick wash or wipe before each use.

Due to the grooves and ridges of the detailed design, I recommend boil-sterilising your Unicorn Dildo to ensure that it’s not harbouring any bacteria in those hard-to-clean areas.

Otherwise? No complaints at all.

Verdict

I love this product! Even in the second smallest size, it’s probably a little too large and hefty for me to actually use it super often, though it’ll definitely get the occasional outing for its intended purpose. It is playful and unique, the insertable part is genuinely well-designed, and when I’m not using it I’ll probably keep it on display anyway because it makes a fun ornament in the sex-positive den of chaos that is my office.

I love that Mr Hankey’s Toys are offering very large dildos made exclusively of body-safe materials. I often receive requests for large toy recommendations. Unfortunately, many of the manufacturers making them are still using unsafe and porous materials. Mr Hankey’s Toys products aren’t cheap, but you’ll get some serious quality for your money. With a little care, one of these toys could last years if not decades.

The Mr Hankey’s Toys Unicorn Horn Dildo starts from $134.95 for the smallest size in a basic colourway. Prices increase as you go up in size and add customisations.

Thanks to Mr Hankey’s Toys for sponsoring this review. This means they paid me to write a fair and honest review. All views and experiences are, as always, my own.