Tag: strap on

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Why Do People Like Ultra Realistic Dildos? (And 4 Fun Ways to Play With Them)

Published on by Amy

In the years (9 of them! Happy anniversary, C&K!) that I’ve been writing about sex and reviewing sex toys, I’ve learned a lot about both my own preferences and those of others. When it comes to dildos, the ones I most gravitate towards tend to be colourful, sparkly, or otherwise non-realistic. However, the good folks at Epic Dildos invited me to write about ultra realistic dildos for them, so I’ve been taking some time to think about why so many people enjoy these toys and some of the fun ways to use them.

Using Ultra Realistic Dildos to Achieve a Lifelike Sensation

I do not believe that sex toys are, or ever can be, replacements for human partners. The term “battery-operated boyfriend” can get in the bin. And let’s not even talk about those vibrators with faces and personalities that the incredible Epiphora reviewed all the way back in 2015.

So no, a dildo cannot replace a penis-owning human. However, if you want to enjoy the feeling of having sex with a person with a bio-cock and don’t have a suitable partner available (or are just in the mood for some solo sex), a realistic dildo is a great option. It’s not entirely identical, of course, but a good realistic toy can be damn close in terms of physical sensation.

Dual-density materials such as the Flexiskin™ liquid silicone Epic Dildos uses for their hyper realistic range combine a soft, malleable outer layer with a firm inner core to mimic an erect penis.

Fulfilling Fantasies with Ultra Realistic Dildos

Like all sex toys, dildos can be enjoyed as much alone or with a partner. One of the most surprisingly common uses I hear about for ultra realistic dildos? Fulfilling threesome or group sex fantasies.

Threesomes are consistently cited in various surveys and studies as one of the most common sexual fantasies. However, choosing to have one in real life is a big decision and not to be taken lightly. When done right, they can be amazing. However, if they’re done badly, they’re also ripe for coercion (if one party in a relationship is less keen than the other), can spike jealousy and insecurity, and can damage or destroy relationships.

If you fantasise about threesomes or group sex but aren’t sure if you’d want to do it for real, using an ultra realistic dildo can allow you and your partner to bring the fantasy to life without the risk. You won’t get the emotional or psychological impact of having a third person involved, but you can simulate some of the physical sensations, do some amazing dirty talk, and spin a scene or story together using toys.

Enjoying Dicks of Different Shapes and Sizes

If you’re monogamous, prefer to have sex with only a single partner at a time, or don’t want to have any sexual partners (at the moment or ever), ultra realistic dildos offer a fun and safe way to enjoy sexual variety. Just as all human cocks are different, so are all the varieties of realistic dildos on the market.

Want to experience bigger or smaller, curved or straight, semi-soft or ultra-firm? The amazing range of realistic dildos out there has got you covered. As a bonus, some offer additional features you can’t get with a bio-cock, such as vibrations.

Ultra Realistic Dildos as a Gender-Affirming Choice

My girlfriend Em and I have started referring to my choice of dildos as “gender-affirming.” I’m a femme who is also primarily submissive, and choosing toys that feel like “me” has felt increasingly important as I explore my role as a strap-on top.

Just as sparkly, colourful dildos feel gender-affirming for me, ultra realistic dildos can feel the same way for other folks. Trans men, transmasculine people, and cis men who use dildos or strap-ons are just some of the people who might find that an ultra realistic dildo aligns best with their gender identity and presentation.

Practicing Sexual Skills

None of us get into our first sexual relationship magically knowing how to have good sex. And none of us get into any sexual relationship magically knowing how to have good sex with that person specifically. Sex is a set of skills, from the interpersonal (communicating your desires, paying attention to verbal and non-verbal cues) to the physical. These skills can be learned, honed, and relearned throughout your sexual life.

If you want to learn or practice a specific sexual skill, from giving a certain type of blowjob your partner loves to riding a dick in a particular position, using a realistic dildo is one great and low-pressure way to do that.

4 Ways to Play with Ultra Realistic Dildos

Whether you’ve just got your first realistic dildo or are an aficionado looking for new ways to play, here are a few suggestions you might not have thought about.

Strap It On

Strap-on sex is most often associated with lesbian and sapphic sex, but anyone can enjoy it. For strap-on sex, look for dildos with a base that’s wide but not too deep. Think flat base or suction cup dildos rather than those with balls.

Go Hands-Free

Some ultra realistic dildos come with suction cups, allowing you to affix them to a wall, floor, or other flat surface. This gives you an opportunity to play hands-free, using your hands to do other things to your or your partner’s body.

Pair Your Dildo with Another Toy

Use your dildo internally while you (or your partner) hold a bullet vibrator against your clitoris. Hold a wand vibrator against the base of your dildo for deep, internal rumbles, Insert your dildo anally (if it has a flared base) then use a stroker to stimulate your penis. Get creative and try out different combinations.

Put On a Show

If you enjoy exhibitionism and voyeurism, putting on a sexy show for your partner can be a hot shared experience. Invite them to watch while you touch, tease, or fuck yourself with your toy. Whether you ultimately let them join in or just drive them wild with the visuals? That’s up to you.

Thanks to Epic Dildos for sponsoring this post! All views and writing, as always, are mine.

Header image featuring colourful spirals. Text reads "Twister Textured Dildo"

[Toy Review] Twister Glow in the Dark Silicone Textured Dildo

Published on by Amy

A textured dildo is a “love-it-or-hate-it” thing for a lot of people. Some people find that texturing adds a lot of additional stimulation to the sensitive vaginal opening and internal walls. Others find too much texturing uncomfortable or even painful. This week I’m reviewing the “Twister“, a textured and semi-clear silicone dildo from Juliet Toys.

I’m somewhere in the middle of the love-or-hate spectrum on textured toys. Most of the time, when I want to use a dildo I’ll reach for a smooth, curved one like my Godemiche Ambit, Godemiche Morpheus, or Njoy Pure Wand. Intense texturing is often uncomfortable for me, particularly on more rigid toys. But a toy with some gentle texturing, particularly if it’s also made of soft silicone, can occasionally be a winner.

(I’m also aware it’s been a hot minute since I posted anything and that my socials have been pretty inactive, too. I’m in grad school hell and barely having time to do anything else beyond studying and the work that pays my bills. Normal service will resume later this year, but content will be a little more sporadic until then.)

What is the Twister?

The Twister, a translucent textured dildo with flecks of pink, blue and green in the silicone

The Twister is a textured silicone dildo available in three sizes. I received the Medium, which measures 6.9″ in total length (around 6″ insertable) and 1.7″ in diameter in the centre of the shaft. It’s wider towards the bottom of the shaft and tapers to a narrower head. The Small size measures a petite 5.3″ x 1.3″, and the Large measures 8.7″ x 2″, so there’s a good range of sizes to suit all preferences. It has a suction cup base.

“Twister” is kind of a misnomer, since it is actually more of a braided design.

The Twister, a translucent textured dildo with flecks of pink, blue and green in the silicone

This toy is a body-safe translucent/semi-clear silicone dildo, with flecks of pink, blue and green inside. In daylight, the effect is very subtle, but when the lights are low you get a fun “glow in the dark” effect that allows the colours to stand out.

Twister Textured Dildo: What I Liked

First, let’s look at the things I liked about the Twister textured dildo.

  • The level of texturing is a nice medium. It’s enough to be felt and to offer something different to my go-to smoother toys, but it isn’t so intense that I find it uncomfortable (most of the time.) The gentle ridges of the braided design feel especially good on insertion, as they stimulate all the sensitive nerve endings around the vaginal opening.
  • The size of the Twister in medium is just about perfect for my body! Oversized toys have their place, of course, but that place is rarely “in my vagina.”
  • The silicone is squishy, with a middling density – not too firm, but not too soft either.
Close up of the braided shaft of the Twister, a translucent textured dildo with flecks of pink, blue and green in the silicone

  • It’s very flexible, which helps with more comfortable positioning and insertion.
  • As it has a large, round base and is fairly light, this is an ideal dildo for strapping it on if the partner I’m topping wants a more textured dildo than my go-to standards.
  • That large base also makes the Twister anal-safe, if that’s your thing.
  • The suction cup is pretty strong and stays put well when you affix it to a surface.
  • The aesthetic is fun and unusual. A translucent or clear dildo often spells a toxic material, so it’s good to see more silicone options available with this look, and I like the little flecks of colour.

I have mixed feelings on the texturing around the base. On the plus side, it looks pretty. On the negative side, it’s kind of a nightmare to clean. Due to all its ridges, both on the shaft and the base, I’d recommend the boiling method to sterilise this toy.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

For some reason, the Twister dildo had a really strong, chemically “new car” smell when I took it out of the packaging. I flame-tested it and it does appear to be genuine silicone, so I have to assume it’s holding onto a scent from either the plastic packaging or the curing process. It genuinely gave me a headache when it was sitting on my desk. I gave it a very thorough wash before using, and that got rid of some of the smell but not all of it.

My Twister also has some visible imperfections, particularly around the base as well as what looks like a bubble in the silicone part way down the shaft. This doesn’t impact the toy’s performance, but it cheapens the overall effect and may shorten its lifespan.

Close up of an imperfection in the silicone of the Twister dildo

The silicone is very matte. This means that, coupled with the textured design of this dildo, you really need plenty of lubrication with this one.

Finally, I wish it had a bit more of a curve. This is a matter of personal preference rather than a direct criticism of the toy, but the shaft is straighter than I ideally prefer.

Twister Textured Dildo: Verdict

The Twister is a perfectly fine basic textured dildo. It retails $49.90 for the medium size at the time of writing. It does have some imperfections, and the quality of its construction reflects the low price, but I’ll still likely use it again.

Get the Twister here.

Thanks to Juliet Toys for sending me the Twister textured clear dildo and sponsoring this review. All views, as always, are mine.

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[Toy Review] Blush Novelties Avant Lucky Glitter Dildo

Published on by Amy

I’m back again with another Blush Novelties Avant range review following my recent post all about the Avant Pride P3 lesbian flag dildo. Today we’re looking at the Avant Lucky, a gorgeous glitter dildo in a pink/purple/blue ombre, which was sent to be by The Pleasure Garden inclusive sex shop. Though this isn’t officially one of Blush’s pride dildos, the Lucky’s colourway matches the bisexual flag.

What is the Blush Novelties Avant Lucky?

Blush Novelties Avant Lucky glitter dildo

The Avant Lucky is part of Blush Novelties’ range of affordable and cute as fuck silicone dildos. It measures 8″ in total length, 6.5″ in insertable length, and 1.5″ in diameter. It has a straight shaft design in a semi-realistic style, a slightly pronounced head, and a suction cup base.

I love this dildo’s shimmering glitter bisexual pride flag colourway.

Are Glitter Dildos Body-Safe?

I knew what I thought my stance on this subject was before writing this review, but I did some additional research to be sure. So are glitter dildos actually body-safe?

The short and (I’m sorry) unsatisfying answers are… “maybe” and “sometimes.”

Glitter dildo in pink blue and purple from Blush Novelties' Avant range

Some glitters (and related materials like mica) are body-safe, others are not. Think about the ones used in reputable sparkly cosmetics, for example, vs. the stuff you buy in craft stores. The problem with glitter sex toys is that, unless the company chooses to disclose it, there’s almost no way to tell what type of glitter they’re using.

Back in 2021, the fabulous sex blogger Felicity at Phallophile Reviews noted some issues with the Avant Lucky; specifically, she was concerned about glitter flakes delaminating (making their way out of the toy) and the possible safety implications of this. Shortly after, Blush responded to apologise for the problem and to let her know that the glitter they use is non-toxic and body-safe. Felicity also discovered that the Avant Lucky is made by mixing the glitter into the silicone, which is a far safer option than the alternative of adding it as a coating at the setting/curing stage.

I know that, with my Avant Lucky, I haven’t had any issues with glitter flakes coming out of the toy so it’s entirely possible Blush were true to their word and fixed the issue. So is this toy truly body-safe? I’m going to say probably though I don’t feel confident enough to say definitely.

I think the risk here is small, if there is any. Personally, I feel comfortable using this toy. But you’re ultimately the only one who can decide your own risk tolerance. If you’re not sure but you still love the toy, you can always pop a condom over it.

What I Like About the Blush Novelties Avant Lucky Glitter Dildo

I have to hand it to Blush: they are knocking it out of the park with their range of body-safe dildos in beautiful colourways at affordable prices. This toy’s silicone feels high quality and soft enough to rival (or beat) many of the far more expensive products I’ve tried. It has a satisfyingly velvety texture that’s a joy to touch, hold, and use.

Avant Lucky glitter silicone suction cup dildo in bi pride colours

The Avant Lucky is made of fairly firm and dense silicone, with minimal “squish.” Its rounded shaft is the same width all the way down, making it ideal for lovers of medium girth toys. The shaft has a little flexibility. It also has some light texturing on the shaft, a little like the veins of a bio-cock, making it a good in-between option for those who enjoy some texture but find heavily textured toys too intense.

The slight protrusion of the head is great for G-spot or prostate stimulation, and the suction cup base makes it anal safe, harness compatible, and easy to use hands-free if that’s your thing.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

My personal preference is for curved dildos rather than straight-up-and-down ones. For that reason, the Blush Avant Lucky isn’t quite a perfect pick for my body. This is, of course, different for every individual so it’s important to be aware of your body’s needs and preferences. I also find straight toys somewhat less ideal for strap-on sex than curved ones due to issues with positioning.

Avant Lucky Verdict: A Glittery Bisexual Dildo at an Affordable Price

Blush Novelties Avant Lucky glitterly bisexual flag dildo

As long as you’re comfortable with using glitter toys, the Blush Novelties Avant Lucky is a solid basic dildo in a medium size at an affordable price. It probably isn’t one I’ll use much on myself, but I’ll keep it on hand to use with lovers who prefer straight toys to curved ones.

The Avant Lucky retails for £36.50.

Thank you to The Pleasure Garden for sending me this product to review. All views, as always, are mine. This post contains affiliate links – clicking through and shopping with them sends me a small commission at no extra cost to you.

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[Toy Review] Blush Novelties Neo Elite Hanky Panky Glow in the Dark Confetti Dildo

Published on by Amy

On my last call with the lovely Francesca, who owns The Pleasure Garden inclusive sex shop, we discussed which strap-on compatible dildos I might want to review in some companion pieces to my Spareparts Joque review.

I asked for the gayest, girliest, sparkliest items the store had in stock. And friends, as the kids say, she understood the assignment. Along with a lesbian pride dildo and a gorgeous sparkly one, I received another Blush dildo: this spectacular clear confetti-filled glow in the dark creation, the Neo Elite Hanky Panky.

What is the Neo Elite Hanky Panky?

Glow in the dark Blush dildo, a clear sex toy with colourful confetti design

The Neo Elite Hanky Panky is a glow in the dark dildo by Blush Novelties. It measures 8″ in total length, around 6.5″ in insertable length, and 1.5″ in diameter at the widest point.

The Neo Elite is made of clear/translucent silicone filled with little confetti-style flecks in pink, purple, blue and green inside. Yes, it’s possible to get body-safe clear sex toys! You don’t need to resort to toxic jelly materials to enjoy this unique aesthetic.

The Best Things About This Blush Dildo

Multicoloured clear silicone Blush dildo pictured with close-up of suction cup

One of my hottest takes as a queer femme is that enjoying pretty things just because they’re pretty is not frivolous, but tremendously important. Beauty is not frivolous. Enjoying things, as a queer person in a world that wants to tear us down and drown us out, fucking matters. Pleasure is political.

And that’s just as true whether we’re talking about eating delicious food in defiance of diet culture or fucking my hot girlfriend with the gayest cock I can find in defiance of societal homophobia.

All this to say: I like this toy because it’s cute, colourful, and playful as fuck.

Blush clear silicone glow in the dark dildo

There are other great things to say about it too, of course. The shape is fabulous, with a medium curve and a prominent head. The silicone is pretty firm and dense, with minimal “squish”, but the shaft is flexible enough to enable comfortable positioning.

I particularly like the pronounced ridge on the underside of the head, which is ideal for both G-spot and prostate stimulation as well as stimulating the sensitive nerve endings around the vaginal/anal opening on insertion and removal. Otherwise, the shaft is smooth, making it a great choice for people who don’t enjoy the sensation of textured toys. It’s also the same width all the way down.

The large suction cup is strong, and also makes the toy anal-safe and harness compatible.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

Silicone clear sex toy with confetti detailing from Blush Novelties

The only thing to be aware of is that this toy’s silicone is very matte. This means it can feel “grabby” and doesn’t glide as smoothly as some softer silicones do, which some users can find uncomfortable. You can overcome this by adding tonnes of water-based lube; just be aware you’ll probably need more lubrication than usual.

Neo Elite Hanky Panky Blush Dildo: Verdict

If you love beautiful, playful aesthetics and don’t mind a more matte texture, this is a fantastic toy. It has a great shape and design, is versatile enough for different kinds of play from solo masturbation to strap on sex to anal, and is a relatively rare example of a clear/translucent toy made from a body-safe material.

The Neo Elite Hanky Panky retails for a very reasonable £38.

Thanks to The Pleasure Garden for sending me this Blush dildo to review. All views, as always, are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post and shopping with them sends me a small commission at no additional cost to you.

Header image for Avant Pride P3 lesbian flag small suction cup dildo

[Toy Review] Avant Pride P3 Beauty Small Suction Cup Dildo

Published on by Amy

Way back in 2018, in the early days of this blog (wow that was a different time!) I reviewed my first Avant Pride toy, the P1 rainbow dildo. I followed this up with reviews of the P4 leather pride butt plug later that year and the P8 bi pride dildo in 2021. This week I received another from the range: the P3, a lovely little lesbian flag dildo.

I still really like the P8, but I’m not so sure I identify as bisexual any more. Since entering my 30s I’ve slid further and further down the Kinsey Scale to… well, not quite a Kinsey 6, because that wouldn’t account for Mr C&K. Maybe a Kinsey 5-and-a-half? Anyway, the terms I most often use to define my sexuality now are sapphic and homoflexible, the latter meaning (to me) “basically a lesbian but with very very occasional exceptions.”

Sexuality is complicated, y’all.

You know what isn’t complicated, though? How damn good this dildo is.

Smooth Segue, Amy! So Tell Us About the Avant Pride P3 Beauty

Avant Pride lesbian pride dildo

The P3 Beauty is another of the Avant Pride range of sex toys from Blush Novelties. It is a small suction cup dildo measuring 5″ in length and 1.1″ in diameter. Its design is fairly realistic, with a pronounced head and subtle vein texturing along the shaft. The dildo’s colours are based on the pink, white and orange stripes of the lesbian pride flag.

The Avant Pride P3 is made of body-safe and easy-clean silicone. It also has a suction cup, making it ideal for hands-free use and strap-on sex.

What I Liked About the Avant Pride P3 Beauty Small Suction Cup Dildo

My favourite thing about this toy, apart from the gorgeous and vibrant pride-inspired colours, is its small size. Large and oversized toys can be fun on occasion, but often when I’m craving penetration what I actually want is something a little smaller. I also like that the girth is more or less the same all the way down.

I very rarely do anal play at the moment but if you’re interested in a dildo for pegging or anal sex, a slimline toy like this one is an ideal place to start.

Avant Pride realistic small suction cup dildo in lesbian pride flag colours

The Avant Pride P3 has some of the softest silicone I’ve felt in a long time. Its texture is so delightfully velvety that I’ve been absentmindedly stroking my hand over it in between typing up this review. It has a medium density with a little squish, plenty of flex, and a very slight curve. In other words, it’s comfortable to use and easy to position in the way that works for your body.

I like that the suction cup is quite wide, relative to the diameter of the toy. This makes it stick down really firmly to any flat surface, and also makes it easy to use with my favourite strap-on harness without it slipping out or coming loose.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

No? This is a genuinely excellent toy and I can’t find a single fault with it. If you prefer larger insertables it might not be big enough to satisfy you, but for many of us a bigger dildo is not necessarily a better dildo.

Verdict

Avant Pride small lesbian flag dildo with suction cup showing

This is such an easy to use dildo! A simple yet effective design, refreshingly petite size, gorgeous queer colourway, and high quality material. It’s also versatile, anal-safe, and harness compatible. What more could you need in a basic dildo for lesbians, sapphics, WLW, and anyone else who connects with this flag? And on top of all that, it retails for just £32.

Thanks to The Pleasure Garden for sending me the Avant Pride P3 to review. All views, as always, are mine! Affiliate links appear in this post.

SpareParts Joque Harness review header image

[Toy Review] SpareParts Joque Harness

Published on by Amy

Here’s a fun fact about me that tends to surprise new lovers: I’m much more of a strap-on top than a strap-on bottom. In other words, most of the time I prefer to be the person doing the fucking rather than the person being fucked. Unfortunately, gender stereotypes and outdated ideas about power dynamics mean that those of us who fall on the femme end of the gender spectrum and/or the submissive end of the power exchange spectrum are often assumed to be bottoms by default. Well, nope! I’m a femme and a submissive-leaning switch, and I also love strapping it on and fucking my partner.

So naturally, I love getting to try out a new strap-on harness. The Pleasure Garden was kind enough to send me the hugely popular SpareParts Joque harness to try, and my girlfriend[1] was kind enough to help me test it out.

[1] Yes, I’m in a new relationship! She’s amazing. I’m very lucky and very happy.

What is the SpareParts Joque Harness?

The SpareParts Joque is a harness for strap-on sex. It comes in two sizes (A fits a belt size of 20-50″, while B fits 35-65″) and two colourways, black or purple. Both sizes feature an O-ring (that’s the ring the dildo goes through to anchor it in place) that stretches to accommodate dildos between 1.25″ and 2″ in diameter.

SpareParts Joque Harness

The Joque is made of a combination of nylon and spandex, which is both comfortable and strong as well as moisture-wicking. Though these materials are not biodegradable or sustainable, they are durable and easy to clean. This means that, with a little care, your harness should last you a lifetime and never need replacing. These synthetic materials are also suitable for those who want to avoid animal materials such as leather.

The Joque features a wide, comfortable belt that sits around the hips. There are also two leg straps that hug the upper thighs and bottom of the butt cheeks. It fastens with velcro, meaning that you can make micro-adjustments so that it fits you perfectly. It also comes with a mesh bag for washing and storage.

SpareParts Joque Harness

Aesthetically, the Joque is perhaps a little more androgynous-leaning-masc than I would go for in a totally ideal world. Requesting the purple one made it feel a lot more like “me,” though. I can also, of course, femme things up by using the girliest dildos imaginable. (Which, naturally, I did. Before our date, I literally texted my girlfriend a picture of an array of dildos to pick from, all of which were some variation of brightly coloured, sparkly, or covered in little hearts.)[2] And ultimately, functionality is always going to be more important than anything else when it comes to strap-on harnesses.

[2] Since I know you’re wondering, I ultimately paired my Joque harness with my Lovehoney Galaxy Dildo on this occasion.

What I Liked About the Joque

Retailing for £120, the Joque is not a cheap option. However, for the quality I really believe it is more than worth the price. I’ve wanted one of these for ages, and now that I’ve tried it I can understand the hype entirely.

Here are a few of the things I liked about the SpareParts Joque.

  • It is super easy to set up, put on, and adjust. From unboxing it to being ready to use it took me maybe one to two minutes.
  • The ultra-adjustable velcro waistband means that even if my body size changes (which it tends to do quite a lot), the harness will still fit me. It also means that, if you and your partner have different body sizes but both want to top for strap-on sex sometimes, you don’t need to buy two.
  • It’s so comfortable! I love the wide waistband, which hugs my hips rather than cutting uncomfortably into them like harnesses with narrower straps tend to do. As a curvy gal, this is tremendously important to me. This harness is often advertised as a great choice for people who want to pack, and I can understand why. It’s comfortable and unobtrusive enough to wear under your regular clothes, if you like.
  • A fabric flap separates the dildo from the wearer’s body. This makes a big difference to comfort, particularly if you’re going to be playing for a while. It prevents uncomfortable rubbing or chafing. However, you can also move it aside if you prefer – for example, if you want to use the harness with a double-ended toy.
SpareParts Joque Harness

  • There are two small pockets, above and below the O-ring, where you can insert a bullet vibrator if you like. This provides additional stimulation to the wearer. You’ll need a tiny bullet vibe for this – something around 6cm or shorter is ideal.
  • It’s washable. Simply handwash it in some cool water, or throw it in the washing machine on a gentle cycle. (I recommend using the included mesh bag to protect it.) We all know that we should be sterilising our dildos between uses, but many people forget that their harnesses can also hold onto bodily fluids and bacteria. This is particularly important if you have anal sex or if you use the same harness with multiple partners.

Most importantly of all, the SpareParts Joque is simply a highly usable harness. With many strap-on harnesses, I have to hold the dildo in place or keep readjusting the straps. Not so with the Joque harness. It stays exactly where I put it and keeps the dildo perfectly positioned so that I can fuck my partner and keep my hands free. This allows me to touch and pleasure them in other ways at the same time (or to keep my balance in more challenging positions!)

Anything I Didn’t Like?

The only significant downside I wanted to flag with the SpareParts Joque harness is that the O-ring does not appear to be interchangeable. This probably won’t be an issue to most people due to its flexibility – I’m certainly not likely to be using dildos larger than 2″ in diameter – but if you like to use very girthy toys with your strap-on harness, it’s something to be aware of.

SpareParts Joque Harness

I also didn’t find the vibrator pockets to be ideally positioned. When I use this harness with a bullet vibe, it doesn’t really directly stimulate my clit. It still feels nice, and ultimately it’s not a big deal as I’m more focused on my partner’s enjoyment when I’m topping anyway. But if clitoral stimulation while you’re having strap-on sex matters to you, it is a downside.

SpareParts Joque Harness: Verdict

This is, simply put, the most functional and fully featured strap-on harness I’ve ever used. It is ultra-comfortable, it allows for numerous different styles of strap-on play, and it is easy to wear and use. I think newcomers to strap-on sex sometimes feel put off because harnesses appear to be so complicated and fiddly. But that doesn’t need to be the case. Turns out you just need a harness designed by someone who understands how strap-on sex actually works.

SpareParts Joque Harness with Lovehoney Galaxy Dildo

The SpareParts Joque harness does its job, and it does it damn well.

Buy this harness from The Pleasure Garden and check out their range of dildos to pair it with. You’ll want something with a wide, flat base – a suction cup dildo is ideal.

Thanks to The Pleasure Garden for sending me the Joque harness to try out! All views and experiences are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

Header image for Liebe Seele review of Kinbaku Ukiyoe leather strap-on harness

[Toy Review] Liebe Seele Kinbaku Ukiyoe Leather Strap-On Harness

Published on by Amy

My first strap-on harness was a super basic, no-frills thing with rough nylon straps. It did the job, just about, but that was all. I had better luck with harness pants, but ultimately they weren’t really my vibe or aesthetic. I upgraded massively with a gorgeous faux leather strap-on harness I purchased at Eroticon, before I finally discovered my all-time favourite harness. My pals at Liebe Seele just sent me the leather strap-on from their Kinbaku Ukiyoe range to try.

Kinbaku Ukiyoe leather strap-on harness.

(Fun fact: kinbaku means “tight binding” and is a form of Japanese rope bondage. Ukiyo-e literally means “pictures of the floating world” and refers to a particular style of Japanese paintings and woodblock prints produced from the 17th-19th Centuries. These works featured subjects such as history and folk tales, travel scenes, and landscapes… but also erotica and portrayals of performers and sex workers.)

The Kinbaku Ukiyoe leather strap-on harness is made of lamb leather and suede, black on the inside and printed with a red rose pattern on the outside. Of course, if you’re vegan or otherwise object to animal leather, you’ll want to skip this one.

Kinbaku Ukiyoe Leather Strap-On Harness: What I Liked

Kinbaku Ukiyoe leather strap-on harness box

I’ve also discovered that, though I do enjoy both roles, I am more of a strap-on Top than a strap-on bottom. Which was an interesting and slightly surprising thing to learn about myself!

I pretty much always use my reliable fave harness these days but I do like to try new things. So I was excited to try out the Kinbaku Ukiyoe harness. First let’s look at the things I liked about it.

  • It arrived beautifully packaged and presented. The harness comes in a sturdy red box with a gold kintsugi print and a cardboard sleeve featuring a ukiyo-e style erotic image of two women having sex. The same image is printed on an included silky fabric square. In the box, the harness’s wrapping is tissue paper with the same kintsugi print. The overall effect is thoughtful and luxurious.
  • When I took it out of the box, I gasped at how beautiful this harness is. The rose print is striking and gorgeous, with an aesthetic somewhere between “goth” and “high femme.” The hardware is copper-plated metal in an attractive muted gold shade.
  • The leather and suede look and feel of excellent quality. They are soft and supple and have only become more so with handling and wear. They also have that wonderful and inimitable leather smell that I love so much.
  • The harness is adjustable in two places: the waistband and also the two straps that sit around the butt and between the legs. This makes it easy to adjust it to your unique body.
  • The included O-ring is 2.5″ in diameter but you can easily swap it out for a different size. Just unfasten the poppers and insert your preferred ring size.
  • It’s clearly well made and seems built to last, with neat and strong stitching and strong hardware.
  • It is easy to put on. Some strap-on harnesses are so confusing that by the time you’ve wrestled your way into them, all the sexiness is gone from the moment. This one takes seconds to put on and adjust.
  • Perhaps most importantly, it’s wonderful to wear. As I’ve already mentioned, the leather is super soft and it works with my body like a second skin. It is breathable so I don’t get too hot wearing it, and it stays in position without constant readjusting.

Anything I Didn’t Like?

Kinbaku Ukiyoe leather strap-on harness.

My only significant complaint about this product is that it is not as size-inclusive as it could be. The harness’s waistband is adjustable from 78-116cm (around 30-45″) which will fit a lot of users but also exclude a lot of others. I’d like to see more adjustability or, failing that, a larger version also available.

Due to the design, there also isn’t anywhere to include a vibrating bullet or other toy to stimulate the wearer. This doesn’t matter to me in the slightest – when I’m strap-on Topping, I’m focusing on my partner’s pleasure and prefer not to have distractions – but it will be a downside for some users.

I also would have liked it to come with more O-ring sizes, as opposed to just one. If you want to try different ring sizes, I recommend the set of four from Sportsheets which retails for an affordable £9.99.

Verdict

A truly beautiful and well-made harness that is a joy to wear and use. Just be aware of the sizing restrictions and measure yourself to ensure it will fit you before you buy. Otherwise, I adore this harness.

The Kinbaku Ukiyoe leather strap-on harness retails for £177. Use my code Amy15 to get 15% off this or any other purchase sitewide at Liebe Seele.

Thank you to Liebe Seele for sending me this product to test and review. All views are, as always, mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.

Header for Arosum strapless strap-on and kegel exerciser review

[Toy Review] Arosum Vibratwin Strapless Strap-On & Kegelator Kegel Exerciser

Published on by Amy2 Comments

Arosum, who both sponsored this double review and recently came on board as a site sponsor, is a rare beast in this industry: a sex toy retailer that does not use gendered language in its marketing. You won’t find Arosum toys grouped into limiting and cissexist categories such as “for women” and “for men.” Instead, toys are categorised by type and body part.

This is such an easy change to make if you want to make your sex toy marketing more inclusive, and yet so many retailers fail.

Arosum kindly send me the Vibratwin Strapless Strap-On and the Kegelator Vibrating Kegel Balls to review.

Arosum Vibratwin Strapless Strap-On

Arosum Vibratwin strapless strap-on vibrator

Strapless strap-ons are a divisive topic in the sex toy space. Some love them and others hate them. I’ve always been quite indifferent. I had a mediocre experience with one in my twenties, and haven’t really bothered again since. So I was curious to see how I’d get on with the Arosum Vibratwin Strapless Strap-On.

Fun fact, as I discovered when doing Google keyword research for this post: Vibratwin is also the name of a dual-action floor cleaning machine!

Vibratwin strapless strap-on details

The Vibratwin is a classic strapless strap-on vibrator, with one arm to go inside the wearer and then a protruding arm for them to fuck their partner with. The main shaft measures 5.35″ in length and 1.57″ in diameter at the widest point, and the shaft for the wearer measures 5.51″ in insertable length (but is very curved) and 1.26″ in diameter at the widest point.

The Vibratwin is made of body-safe silicone in a pretty shade of green. In the box you’ll also find a remote control and a storage bag (though, weirdly, the bag isn’t really big enough for the toy unless you squish it in at a weird angle!)

The Vibratwin is IPX7 waterproof and rechargeable. The battery life – around 45 minutes on a full charge – isn’t great, but is anyone really doing penetrative sex for longer than 45 minutes at a time anyway?

In use: what I liked

Arosum Vibratwin strapless strap-on vibrator

I really like the curved shape of the wearer’s shaft on the Vibratwin, for two reasons:

  1. It helps the toy to actually stay inside me
  2. It presses very pleasurably against my G-spot

Other things I like about this toy:

  • The “come hither” motion of the main shaft. It feels great and it means that, if you want to have strap-on sex without a lot of thrusting, you can just slide the shaft inside your partner and let the toy do the hard work. There are 3 different speeds.
  • The versatility. You can control the come-hither motion and the vibrations separately. Or, if you’re not in the mood for either, just leave them switched off.
  • It takes much less set-up than my regular strap-on, which I love but which always requires several minutes of futzing with straps and rings before it’s ready to go.
  • The remote control is a really nice addition, making it easy to control the toy in use with a partner. It’s fast and responsive.
  • There’s no reason you can’t also use it as a solo toy, if you want.
  • The silicone is really soft and smooth.

Anything I don’t like?

  • The inevitable squeaky whine that accompanies the “come hither” motion. This isn’t really Arosum’s fault, it’s probably almost impossible to make a toy that does this motion without it, but I still hate it.
  • The ridges on the main shaft. These will work really well for some people but for me, that level of texturing is more likely to be painful than pleasurable. As such, I think I’d prefer to use this toy when I’m Topping (assuming my partner enjoys that texture) rather than bottoming.
  • The vibrations are quite weak and buzzy. I don’t really like internal vibrations anyway, though, so I’ll just keep them turned off when using this toy in the future.

Verdict

Surprisingly great! I really like this one and will definitely use it again.

The Vibratwin Strapless Strap-On retails for $99.

Arosum Kegelator Vibrating Kegel Balls

Arosum Kegelator vibrating kegel exerciser

I’ve written about kegel balls (AKA pleasure balls) and their purported benefits before. Some proponents claim that they can strengthen the pelvic floor, reduce incontinence, or enhance (or make it easier to have) G-spot orgasms. The actual evidence, though, doesn’t really stack up. The data supporting the bladder control claims is minimal and contradictory, and I could find no evidence (beyond the anecdotal) to support the orgasm claims.

Kegel exercises themselves are good for you, helping to prevent incontinence and other pelvic floor problems. It’s a good idea to do them regularly. But do kegel balls or other exercisers really help? The jury is out on that one.

Due to the lack of evidence to support any health claims, I choose to look at kegel balls and kegel exercises purely as sex toys.

With that in mind, how does the Kegelator stack up as a sex toy?

The Kegelator measures 8.27″ end to end, of which 4.33″ is insertable and the rest is the tail. The insertable portion is 1.54″ wide at the widest point, and 0.79″ at the narrowest point. It’s made of body-safe silicone in a dusky pink shade and is the classic “two connected balls with a long tail” shape.

As well as vibrating, the top part of the Kegelator moves in a “come hither” motion to stimulate the G-spot.

What I liked about the Kegelator

Arosum Kegelator vibrating kegel exerciser

  • The main thing I like about this toy is its shape. The size and slight curve of the head is ideal for seeking out my G-spot and targeting it with precision.
  • The remote is fast, responsive, and allows you to move between the 10 patterns and settings in either direction.
  • It’s comfortable enough to wear for quite a while, if you want to.
  • The silicone is silky soft.

Anything I didn’t like?

  • That whining noise again!
  • The fact that you can’t control the vibrations and come hither motion separately. I don’t like internal vibrations and would really like to turn them off while still using the other function!
  • 60 minutes battery life isn’t great, especially for something you might theoretically want to wear for longer periods.
  • The vibrations are weak and buzzy.

Verdict

Unlike the Vibratwin, I think the Kegelator is just okay. It’s really let down by the lack of dual controls, and the buzzy vibrations will be a downside for anyone looking for powerful internal vibes.

The Kegelator Kegel Exerciser retails for $79.

Thanks to Arosum for sponsoring this review. Sponsors help to keep the site going! All views, as always, are mine.

Header image for a review of the Lovehoney Take Control bondage kit

[Kink Product Review] Lovehoney Take Control Bondage Kit

Published on by Amy

Sex toy kits are a fantastic idea in theory, but usually significantly less amazing in practice. Too often, they’re little more than a collection of cheap and poor-quality products shoved together in a pretty box and sold for a premium price. I’ll nearly always tell my readers to forego a kit and spend a bit more on just one or two quality items. However, I try to keep an open mind, which is why I agreed to review the Take Control Bondage Kit for beginners from Lovehoney.

Take Control: A Beginners’ Bondage Kit by Lovehoney

It’s been a very long time since I was new to BDSM. I’ve been doing kinky shit for well over a decade and have accrued a sizeable collection of toys, from basic staples to custom collars, premium impact toys, and more. So a beginner kit is not something I would ever buy for myself.

Therefore, I am trying to step back in time ten years or so in my mind, and view this BDSM starter kit through the eyes of someone who is just starting out, collecting their first beginner BDSM toys, or maybe wondering if they’re even kinky.

Lovehoney Take Control Bondage Kit: First Impressions

The Take Control Bondage Kit comes in one simple box, with all the products clearly displayed on the front so you know exactly what to expect. The packaging is brightly coloured and fun, reducing the intimidation factor for nervous new kinksters.

"Take Control" Lovehoney bondage kit
"Take Control" Lovehoney bondage kit in its box

There’s a LOT of information on the box, too. I appreciate that Lovehoney has provided a brief description on how to use each item as well as some basic information on safety and consent. The box reminds players to use safewords, never leave a bound person alone, and have a non-verbal safe signal if someone is gagged. It’s pretty 101-level stuff, but that’s also what a complete newcomer to kink is likely to need. Top marks for that.

I wasn’t delighted with the way the box was packed. Everything was just sort of piled in, each item wrapped in a cellophane wrapper. It’s a lot of unnecessary single-use plastic.

There is no real leather in this kit, making it vegan-friendly.

What’s in the Lovehoney Take Control Bondage Kit?

With that said, I think this is overall a decent beginners’ bondage kit. Many BDSM starter kits and sex toy kits generally are filled with things that aren’t even safe, let alone of good quality.

Let’s take a look at what’s inside, shall we? Just for fun, I’ve included a fun tip or an idea to try with each item in the Take Control kit. As always, pick the ones that resonate for you, leave the rest, and add your own ideas as you explore.

1: Blindfold

This blindfold is super comfy. It’s also thick and padded, meaning I couldn’t see a thing when it was on. The band is stretchy, too, so it should fit most people comfortably.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Blindfold your partner and stroke different items across their body – a silk scarf, a piece of velvet, the tails of your flogger – and have them guess what each item is.

2. Nipple suckers

I really liked these little suckers! They’re a great gentle introduction to nipple play, and perfect if you want some sensation but without the pain of nipple clamps or clothes pegs. They work for all chest sizes, from flat chests to large breasts, and most nipple sizes. If you flick or hit them too hard, they will fly off, but they can withstand some gentle manipulation.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Tell your partner to fetch you something from another room with these on. They’ll have to move carefully, though – they’ll be spanked if one falls off!

3. Ball gag

Full disclosure: I hate ball gags. I fucking hate them. They make my jaw hurt, they make me drool, and I can’t kiss my partner when I’m wearing one. They’re basically a soft limit at this point. With that said, this is a fine ball-gag if you do like them. The holes make it breathable, and silicone is a non-porous and hygienic material. I also like how adjustable this gag is. With 9 buckle holes, it will fit most people comfortably.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Make your submissive try to repeat words back to you while gagged.

4. Flogger

This is a stingy little fucker! Don’t let the small size fool you, this flogger can pack a wallop. The falls are made of thin rubber, which delivers a vicious sting when you put some force behind it. If pain isn’t your thing, you can drag it sensually across the skin for a gentle tickle. I would have liked the handle to have a bit more width and weight to it.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Try gently flogging the vulva or penis if your partner is up for it. Remember to clean your flogger thoroughly afterwards to remove any bodily fluids.

5. Wrist and ankle cuffs

These were the weakest part of the Take Control kit by far, for me. They’re quite thin and made of nylon, with no padding, which means they chafe if you put any pressure on them. They’re fine for exploring the feeling of being restrained, but if you want to pull against them at all I recommend getting some quality BDSM cuffs.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Restrain your partner then make them watch you masturbate in front of them.

6. Under-bed restraints

These are great, except for the tiny detail that they don’t fit my bed! We have a Super King bed and these restraints fit up to King Size. So they’ll be fine for the vast majority of people, but if you have a ridiculously giant bed like us, they may not fit.

These restraints are strong, durable, and easy to both set up and tuck out of sight when you’re done, if you want to. The little clips mean you can easily add any set of cuffs to them.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: when your partner is restrained, run a cube of ice along their body or drip low-temperature candle wax onto their skin.

7. Silicone suction cup dildo

Wow, a body-safe dildo in a BDSM kit! This shouldn’t be a pleasant surprise, and yet it is. This dildo measures 6″ in length and has a diameter of 1.5″. The slight curve is ideal for targeting the G-spot or prostate, and the silicone is super soft and silky. The suction cup and hollow space for a bullet vibrator are great additions.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Tease your lover’s entrance with the dildo until they beg to have it inside them.

8. Strap-on harness

This is the same harness that Lovehoney sells as part of their basic strap-on sex/pegging kit a few years ago. It’s comfortable and the rings are interchangeable so you can use it with any dildo with a flared base. However, it’s a pretty basic harness and you’ll want to upgrade to a higher-quality harness if you find you enjoy strap-on play.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: If you have a vulva, insert a wearable vibrator before you put on your harness. This will stimulate you while you penetrate your partner.

9. Wired bullet vibrator

I was fully expecting this bullet vibrator to be awful. While it’s far from the strongest bullet vibrator in the world and it is a little buzzy, it’s not a bad basic bullet for the size and price. It has several patterns as well as steady vibration speeds.

I don’t love that it’s wired rather than cordless, but the wire is long enough for one partner to control the remote while the other holds the vibrator against their genitals. The bullet takes 2x AAA batteries, which are not included.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Switch it off just when your lover is on the edge of orgasm and make them beg for release.

Lovehoney Take Control Beginners’ Bondage Kit: Verdict

On the whole, the Take Control Bondage Kit is a very solid basic beginners’ set for the price. If you’re brand new to exploring your kinks, you get a lot of bang for your buck here.

The Take Control kit retails for £79.99 UK/$99.99 US.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this kit in exchange for an honest review. If you choose to purchase this or anything else from Lovehoney, please buy through my affiliate links – it supports the blog at no extra cost to you!