Blog

A female bottom with a silicone flogger placed across it. For a review of the Obsidian Neon Wand Intensity Kit from Stockroom

[Kink Product Review] Kinklab Obsidian Neon Wand Intensity Kit

Published on by Amy

Electro play has been an interest of mine ever since I first encountered a restored violet wand at a fetish fair. (Have you seen them? They’re gorgeous. They’re also expensive as hell. Mr C&K and I have a friend who has an amazing electro set-up in their home dungeon which we love playing with when we get the opportunity to visit. But until now, exploring electro-play at home has been difficult for us due to the cost of the gear. Enter the Kinklab Obsidian Neon Wand Intensity Kit.

A word of safety warning: please don’t buy a knock-off neon wand from places like Amazon, Aliexpress or Shein. I made this mistake when I was young and uneducated. We were fortunate that nothing bad happened, but please, please, please buy your electro-sex gear from a reputable kink and BDSM supplier.

What is a Neon Wand?

The neon wand is a modern and cheaper alternative to the violet wand, a turn-of-the-century quack medical device. Now a popular BDSM toy, violet or neon wands discharge electricity across the surface of the skin, creating a sensation that can range from a gentle, warming tickle to a sharp and scratchy pain.

I’m informed that the sensation is somewhat similar to getting tattooed, but having inkless skin (for now) means I can’t testify as to the accuracy of this claim.

A neon wand consists of the main wand handle and various attachments (sometimes called electrodes) which are made of glass or conductive silicone. When you plug an electrode into the wand and then touch it to the body, it transmits electricity across the skin. When switched on, the inside of the clear glass electrodes glows a bright colour, most commonly red or purple. This video is a good visual if you want to see and hear the Kinklab Neon Wand in action.

There are lots of reasons why people might enjoy electro play (sometimes also called e-stim, electro-stim or electro-sex.) Some find the sensation pleasant, relaxing, or even meditative. Others are masochists and get off on pain. For some people, these devices play into a medical kink, while for others it’s about conquering a fear or seeing how much they can take. As with most kinks, the motivations are as varied as the people who partake.

Kinklab Neon Wand: Obsidian Intensity Kit

The Obsidian Neon Wand Intensity Kit is a bundle that consists of the neon wand and two attachments: the Electro-Whip and the Flex Capacitor, both made from conductive silicone.

KinkLab Obsidian Neon Wand Intensity Kit with wand and two attachments
Image: KinkLab

Be aware that this kit does not come with any glass attachments, so if you want those you’ll need to buy them separately. Stockroom sells quite a few by KinkLab that are compatible with this set.

The neon wand has an 8 foot power cable. A word of warning for my non-US readers: it is a US plug, so you’ll need an appropriate step-down converter to use it safely in your country. Thankfully, I already have one for purposes of using my Magic Wand.

KinkLab Neon Wand Kit Review: In Use

The Obsidian Neon Wand Intensity Kit’s user interface couldn’t be simpler. There’s a single dial control to control the power and intensity. There are comprehensive instructions so even BDSM beginners can get set up and start playing with the kit in minutes.

I experience electro-play on a spectrum that ranges from tickle to sting. At the lower ends, the Neon Wand Intensity Kit reminds me somewhat of the sensation of having a Wartenberg wheel drawn across my skin. On the higher settings, it’s a sharp and stingy pain. If you hate stingy sensations, neon wand play is unlikely to be for you.

Electrode 1: Electro-Whip

KinkLab Neon Wand kit electro whip
Image: Kinklab

The Electro-Whip is actually a small flogger, with ten falls made of conductive silicone. This is not a toy for hard impact. Despite the name and design, this “whip” is more designed for dragging across the body, leaving a trail of sparks wherever it goes. You can strike with it gently, but again, think “stroke” rather than “strike.”

It’s a stingy fucker! The high number of contact points on the body all at once and their small surface area means this one delivers a lot of bite.

Electrode 2: Flex Capacitor

KinkLab Neon Wand kit flex capacitor electrode
Image: Kinklab

The Flex Capacitor is described as the most intense of all neon wand electrodes, and it’s an apt description.

The two-pronged tip sends a powerful shock to wherever it touches. The Flex is best for short, sharp bursts of pain. I couldn’t stand this one on any but the lowest settings, it’s that intense.

Using Your Kinklab Neon Wand Kit Safely

As with all BDSM activities, there are some risks inherent in electro-play. Knowledge is your first and greatest line of defense. This is not an exhaustive list and I am not a doctor, so please do your own research before you start playing, but as a starting point here are some of the key safety points you need to be aware of:

  • Again, please buy a genuine device from a reputable supplier.
  • Check your cords before play. If any of them are frayed or look damaged, do not use the device.
  • Store your device in a cool, dry place. Don’t get it wet or use it in a damp environment such as the bathroom. Make sure your skin is completely dry before you begin playing. Come on folks, we all learned in primary school that water and electricity don’t mix, didn’t we?
  • Check the voltage/ampage and make sure you are using an appropriate converter for your country’s outlets, if relevant.
  • Do not leave your device plugged in when you’re not using it.
  • Read the instruction manual and follow it.
  • Do not do electro play if you have a pacemaker. Always check before playing with a new partner. Do not assume your partner knows that pacemakers and electro-play are a bad combination.
  • Do not do electro-play if you have any kind of inbuilt/non-removable medical device in your body (such as, for example, an insulin pump). The electricity can damage your device, putting you at risk.
  • Do not do electro-play if you have a heart defect.
  • Do not do electro-play if you experience seizures.
  • Do not do electro-play if you are pregnant.
  • Remove any metal jewellery or accessories before you start.
  • Do not hold the device on one spot on the body for more than a second or two. Keep it moving. This will greatly reduce the risk of burns or skin damage.
  • If you experience intense pain or any sensation that worries you, stop immediately.
  • Do not use the device on the face or head, especially near the eyes or mouth.
  • Start out at a low setting, build up slowly, and listen to your body.

Kinklab Neon Wand Intensity Kit Review: Verdict

I love this kit. Though it’s easy to use, I think this kit is probably best enjoyed by more advanced players or those who know they enjoy more intense electro-play sensations. If you’re a complete beginner, I’d recommend starting out with a basic kit with glass electrodes.

The Obsidian Neon Wand Intensity Kit retails for $187.99 and is available from Stockroom, Good Vibes and Babeland.

Thank you to Stockroom for sending us this product to review. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views are my own.

The polyamory flag colours on a pink background for a post about what You Me Her got wrong about polyamory

All the Things “You, Me, Her” Got Wrong About Polyamory

Published on by Amy1 Comment

Regular readers might remember that I briefly flirted with a ridiculous quest to review and recap every episode of You, Me, Her, the polyamory-centered romcom that premiered on Netflix in 2016. However, this fizzled out somewhere in the middle of Season 1 because I ran out of time, energy and fucks to give about this stupid show.

By the way: if you enjoyed this post, you might also enjoy my review of everything The L Word: Generation Q got wrong about polyamory.

You, Me, Her was inexplicably well-received, receiving an average review rating of 84% on Rotten Tomatoes and 7/10 on IMDB. However, I suspect the vast majority of the watchers and reviewers were monogamous people who enjoyed this show as a titillating peek into what they imagine polyamory to be like. Amongst polyamorous people, though, it was pretty much universally trashed.

Heads-up that this review contains spoilers for the first three seasons of You, Me, Her.

In case you haven’t seen it, You, Me, Her is an American comedy-drama series following suburban married couple Jack (Greg Poehler) and Emma (Rachel Blanchard.) Bored with their marriage, both members of the couple hire much younger sex worker, Izzy Silva (Priscilla Faia.) When they both fall in love with her, they decide to enter a polyamorous triad. Chaos ensues.

Instead of reviewing this mess one episode at a time, I thought I’d bring you all the things I think it got wrong about polyamory – so far – in one easy post.

1. Triads don’t typically start with married couples hiring the same escort

Or: Izzy would never date these two idiots.

Izzy is a 25-year-old college student who is doing sex work to pay her way through university. Jack hires her for a date and, when Emma finds out, she does the same thing because that’s how mature, married adults slap a bandage on cheating, apparently. However, Izzy inexplicably decides she’s super duper into both of them for real. This would never happen.

Any sex worker in Izzy’s place would do her job, take the money, and leave this pair to work out their shit in suburban hell by themselves. Polyamorous relationships can start in lots of ways, but “we both hired the same sex worker” isn’t one of them.

2. Being polyamorous in Portland would not destroy your life

This show is set in Portland, Oregon, a city that is not only famous for being super liberal, but where I know for a fact there’s a huge polyamorous community. Sure, there are some conservative people there as there are anywhere. But the idea that being outed as bisexual and/or non-monogamous in fucking Portland would totally destroy Emma’s life is wildly unrealistic. If the writers wanted that narrative to work, they should have set it in rural Alabama or something.

3. Partners are not commodities that you have to share out equally

Jack and Emma agree that they each get “two nights with her… I mean you” (that is, with Izzy) per week. They then have a debate about who “gets” Izzy first.

Do I really have to spell out all the ways this is gross beyond belief? She’s a human being, not a pie to be shared out in equal slices. Ethical polyamory does not involve married couples treating third parties like literal toys.

4. Using polyamory to save a failing marriage never works

The entire You, Me, Her polyamory situation begins when Jack and Emma decide they’ll each go on dates with Izzy, then come back fired up and ready to ravish the hell out of each other. However, that’s not how polyamory works. That’s also not how feelings or sexual desire work. And once again, it’s objectifying as hell. They’re basically using Izzy as a human sex toy.

Opening up the relationship isn’t how you inject sexual spark back into your ailing marriage. “Relationship broken, add more people” is a cliche because people attempt it all the time and it works… literally never.

Also, can we talk about how angry Jack gets mad Emma comes back from her date and isn’t up for fucking him right there and then? Your partner doesn’t owe you sex just because they just went on a date with someone else.

5. Jealousy is inevitable, but courting it isn’t healthy

Jealousy in polyamory is normal and fine, as long as you deal with it in a healthy way. Trying to make your partner jealous deliberately in order to make them want you more is manipulative, cruel, and ineffective.

Jack and Emma use Izzy to make each other jealous. Izzy then uses Andy, who is a kind of dick but seems to be really into her, to make Jack and Emma jealous. No-one is having a good time.

6. Polyamory isn’t just for rich white people

Jack and Emma are the type of white, affluent, married professionals you’d expect to see at a swingers’ club. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that, except that the polyamorous community is actually hugely diverse and we’re all bored as hell of seeing every representation of polyamory reduced down to “rich white people who don’t like fucking their spouses any more.”

7. No-one falls for two people at the same rate, at the same time, and in the same way

Unfortunately, this is exactly what Jack and Emma expect of Izzy. In fact, it’s pretty much what all inexperienced unicorn hunters expect of their new partners and it is wildly unrealistic.

At one point in the show, it becomes apparent that Izzy’s connection with Emma is growing stronger while her connection with Jack is developing at a slower pace. Instead of dealing with his feelings or communicating with his partners, Jack throws a fit and fucks off for several days.

8. You don’t have to live with all your partners (and most people don’t)

Jack, Emma and Izzy move in together almost the moment they’ve decided to give a triad relationship a go. Not only is this the mother of all bad ideas, it’s also just unrealistic.

Most people, regardless of relationship structure, want to wait until a relationship is stable and established before cohabiting is even discussed. Many polyamorous people never want to live with all their partners. Many of us have one nesting parter. Others prefer to live alone.

By the way: regardless of relationship set-up, the trope of three people sharing a double bed every night trope is sweet but unrealistic. Being the middle spoon is lovely for about five seconds, until you overheat or both your partners start snoring.

9. Extremely conservative, homophobic parents don’t come around in three seconds flat

When Emma’s parents visit, they inevitably find out about the polyamory situation almost immediately. However, they also transition from being hyper-conservative, openly-homophobic bigots who only care about Emma having babies to being totally chill with everything in less than five minutes of screen time (which equates to perhaps an hour in plot-time).

People can come around, of course. People question their assumptions when they are directly confronted with them by someone they love. But it usually takes more time than this, and often much more.

10. Communication, not sex, is the way to solve your problems

Whenever Jack, Emma and Izzy have a relationship problem, they just fuck and it all goes away (until it inevitably returns, of course, because they didn’t actually address it.) Sex is great but it’s not a way to fix problems. Only honest, open, and respectful communication can do that.

And by the way? Treating someone like shit until they leave and then chasing them through an airport is not romantic.

11. And finally, we are all monumentally sick of MFF closed triads

Many people assume that all polyamory is one straight, cisgender man with two bisexual, cisgender women in a closed triad. Polyamorous newcomers often assume this is the most desirable configuration. However, it’s actually a fairly rare set-up, hard to attain and even harder to maintain over a long period of time. Yet it’s the only fucking representation the mainstream media is willing to give us.

Can we move on to something more representative and less male-gazey already, please?

You, Me, Her review: a bad show with worse messaging

I am convinced the people who made this show have either never met a polyamorous person or don’t like us very much. This is bad representation. It furthers negative stereotypes, it romanticises behaviour that is at best toxic and at worst abusive, and it views polyamory through the “tee-hee look at these weirdos” gaze of the monogamous world.

There are two more seasons of this show still to come, so maybe I’ll watch them and come back with a full review when we’ve seen how it ends. On the other hand, maybe I don’t hate myself that much.

Did you enjoy this You, Me, Her review of sorts? If so, please buy me a coffee!

Header image for a review of the Lovehoney Take Control bondage kit

[Kink Product Review] Lovehoney Take Control Bondage Kit

Published on by Amy

Sex toy kits are a fantastic idea in theory, but usually significantly less amazing in practice. Too often, they’re little more than a collection of cheap and poor-quality products shoved together in a pretty box and sold for a premium price. I’ll nearly always tell my readers to forego a kit and spend a bit more on just one or two quality items. However, I try to keep an open mind, which is why I agreed to review the Take Control Bondage Kit for beginners from Lovehoney.

Take Control: A Beginners’ Bondage Kit by Lovehoney

It’s been a very long time since I was new to BDSM. I’ve been doing kinky shit for well over a decade and have accrued a sizeable collection of toys, from basic staples to custom collars, premium impact toys, and more. So a beginner kit is not something I would ever buy for myself.

Therefore, I am trying to step back in time ten years or so in my mind, and view this BDSM starter kit through the eyes of someone who is just starting out, collecting their first beginner BDSM toys, or maybe wondering if they’re even kinky.

Lovehoney Take Control Bondage Kit: First Impressions

The Take Control Bondage Kit comes in one simple box, with all the products clearly displayed on the front so you know exactly what to expect. The packaging is brightly coloured and fun, reducing the intimidation factor for nervous new kinksters.

"Take Control" Lovehoney bondage kit
"Take Control" Lovehoney bondage kit in its box

There’s a LOT of information on the box, too. I appreciate that Lovehoney has provided a brief description on how to use each item as well as some basic information on safety and consent. The box reminds players to use safewords, never leave a bound person alone, and have a non-verbal safe signal if someone is gagged. It’s pretty 101-level stuff, but that’s also what a complete newcomer to kink is likely to need. Top marks for that.

I wasn’t delighted with the way the box was packed. Everything was just sort of piled in, each item wrapped in a cellophane wrapper. It’s a lot of unnecessary single-use plastic.

There is no real leather in this kit, making it vegan-friendly.

What’s in the Lovehoney Take Control Bondage Kit?

With that said, I think this is overall a decent beginners’ bondage kit. Many BDSM starter kits and sex toy kits generally are filled with things that aren’t even safe, let alone of good quality.

Let’s take a look at what’s inside, shall we? Just for fun, I’ve included a fun tip or an idea to try with each item in the Take Control kit. As always, pick the ones that resonate for you, leave the rest, and add your own ideas as you explore.

1: Blindfold

This blindfold is super comfy. It’s also thick and padded, meaning I couldn’t see a thing when it was on. The band is stretchy, too, so it should fit most people comfortably.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Blindfold your partner and stroke different items across their body – a silk scarf, a piece of velvet, the tails of your flogger – and have them guess what each item is.

2. Nipple suckers

I really liked these little suckers! They’re a great gentle introduction to nipple play, and perfect if you want some sensation but without the pain of nipple clamps or clothes pegs. They work for all chest sizes, from flat chests to large breasts, and most nipple sizes. If you flick or hit them too hard, they will fly off, but they can withstand some gentle manipulation.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Tell your partner to fetch you something from another room with these on. They’ll have to move carefully, though – they’ll be spanked if one falls off!

3. Ball gag

Full disclosure: I hate ball gags. I fucking hate them. They make my jaw hurt, they make me drool, and I can’t kiss my partner when I’m wearing one. They’re basically a soft limit at this point. With that said, this is a fine ball-gag if you do like them. The holes make it breathable, and silicone is a non-porous and hygienic material. I also like how adjustable this gag is. With 9 buckle holes, it will fit most people comfortably.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Make your submissive try to repeat words back to you while gagged.

4. Flogger

This is a stingy little fucker! Don’t let the small size fool you, this flogger can pack a wallop. The falls are made of thin rubber, which delivers a vicious sting when you put some force behind it. If pain isn’t your thing, you can drag it sensually across the skin for a gentle tickle. I would have liked the handle to have a bit more width and weight to it.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Try gently flogging the vulva or penis if your partner is up for it. Remember to clean your flogger thoroughly afterwards to remove any bodily fluids.

5. Wrist and ankle cuffs

These were the weakest part of the Take Control kit by far, for me. They’re quite thin and made of nylon, with no padding, which means they chafe if you put any pressure on them. They’re fine for exploring the feeling of being restrained, but if you want to pull against them at all I recommend getting some quality BDSM cuffs.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Restrain your partner then make them watch you masturbate in front of them.

6. Under-bed restraints

These are great, except for the tiny detail that they don’t fit my bed! We have a Super King bed and these restraints fit up to King Size. So they’ll be fine for the vast majority of people, but if you have a ridiculously giant bed like us, they may not fit.

These restraints are strong, durable, and easy to both set up and tuck out of sight when you’re done, if you want to. The little clips mean you can easily add any set of cuffs to them.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: when your partner is restrained, run a cube of ice along their body or drip low-temperature candle wax onto their skin.

7. Silicone suction cup dildo

Wow, a body-safe dildo in a BDSM kit! This shouldn’t be a pleasant surprise, and yet it is. This dildo measures 6″ in length and has a diameter of 1.5″. The slight curve is ideal for targeting the G-spot or prostate, and the silicone is super soft and silky. The suction cup and hollow space for a bullet vibrator are great additions.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Tease your lover’s entrance with the dildo until they beg to have it inside them.

8. Strap-on harness

This is the same harness that Lovehoney sells as part of their basic strap-on sex/pegging kit a few years ago. It’s comfortable and the rings are interchangeable so you can use it with any dildo with a flared base. However, it’s a pretty basic harness and you’ll want to upgrade to a higher-quality harness if you find you enjoy strap-on play.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: If you have a vulva, insert a wearable vibrator before you put on your harness. This will stimulate you while you penetrate your partner.

9. Wired bullet vibrator

I was fully expecting this bullet vibrator to be awful. While it’s far from the strongest bullet vibrator in the world and it is a little buzzy, it’s not a bad basic bullet for the size and price. It has several patterns as well as steady vibration speeds.

I don’t love that it’s wired rather than cordless, but the wire is long enough for one partner to control the remote while the other holds the vibrator against their genitals. The bullet takes 2x AAA batteries, which are not included.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Switch it off just when your lover is on the edge of orgasm and make them beg for release.

Lovehoney Take Control Beginners’ Bondage Kit: Verdict

On the whole, the Take Control Bondage Kit is a very solid basic beginners’ set for the price. If you’re brand new to exploring your kinks, you get a lot of bang for your buck here.

The Take Control kit retails for £79.99 UK/$99.99 US.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this kit in exchange for an honest review. If you choose to purchase this or anything else from Lovehoney, please buy through my affiliate links – it supports the blog at no extra cost to you!

Header image for Glas Red Head review

[Toy Review] Gläs Red Head

Published on by Amy

I love glass toys, I love pretty toys, and I love double-ended toys. So when the team at sex toy retailer The Adult Toy Shop offered me this beauty, the Gläs Toys double-ended “Red Head” glass dildo, I jumped at the chance.

Gläs Toys Red Head: Details

The Gläs Red Head is a double-ended borosilicate glass dildo measuring 8.5″ in total length. It has a diameter of 1.5″ at the widest points of the heads and 1″ along the shaft. Unlike many double-ended dildos, both ends are the exact same size.

Glas Toys Red Head, a curved glass dildo with red swirl detailing on its two bulbed heads
Image: Gläs

The Gläs Toys Red Head is really pretty. I always find glass toys aesthetically appealing, and the red wave pattern on each of the heads gives this one a unique and striking appearance.

Is Glass Body-Safe?

Short answer: yes!

A properly made glass dildo won’t break unless you drop it or it suffers a similar impact. They don’t just shatter and I have never heard of one breaking inside someone. Borosilicate glass, the kind that good glass toys are made of, is what you find in “Pyrex” and similar cookware. It’s hardy stuff and can withstand temperature changes well.

Glass is non-toxic, non-porous, chemically inert and generally hypoallergenic. It is also compatible with all barrier materials and all lube types, including silicone lube. In short, a great choice! Glass is generally an anal-safe material, but the Gläs Toys Red Head doesn’t have a flared base so don’t use this one anally.

Glass toys are smooth yet unyielding, and initially cold to the touch but warm up surprisingly quickly with your body’s heat. Run your toy under warm (not hot!) water or put it in the fridge (not the freezer!) prior to use for some fun temperature-based play.

The Gläs Toys Red Head In Use

I’ve sometimes struggled with straight glass toys because, as they’re so rigid, it can be hard to angle them just right. They end up pressing into the wrong spot inside me, which can be painful. That’s why I love the curved shape of the Gläs Red Head coupled with its ultra-smooth surface.

The combination of this curve and the bulbous heads made the Gläs Toys Red Head ideal for targeted and intense G-spot pleasure.

If you enjoy internal vibrations, insert your glass dildo then press a wand or other powerful vibrator against the end that’s outside your body. The glass will transmit the vibrations with extra intensity.

Gläs Toys Red Head: Verdict

Yes, this is a wonderful little (or not so little) toy for the price! It’s body-safe, super pretty, it feels delicious, and it’s perfect for both solo and partnered play. A perfect beginner glass toy, or even a good addition to an afficionado’s collection.

The Gläs Toys Red Head retails for $39.99 at The Adult Toy Shop.

This unbiased review was sponsored by The Adult Toy Shop, who carry a wide range of very affordable sex toys. All views and writing are, as always, my own.

Header image for Womanizer Premium review

[Toy Review] Womanizer Premium

Published on by Amy

Update 03/07/24: the Womanizer Premium has been replaced by the Womanizer Premium 2. Check out my review or buy it from the retailers listed at the end of this post. I’ve left this Womanizer Premium review up for information and because a lot of the points I’ve made here still apply to the new iteration of the legendary Womanizer clit sucker.

I’ve been wanting to get my hands on a Womanizer toy for so long. I missed the initial buzz as the first few Womanizer models were already old news by the time I started blogging. However, there are now new models out, and I was lucky enough to receive one to try out.

Let’s dive into the Womanizer Premium review.

Womanizer Premium: Details

Womanizer was the first company to create clitoral suction toys of the kind that are now made by a whole host of manufacturers. Many sex toy experts hold them up as the original and best, while others say they’re overpriced and the more affordable equivalents do just as good a job.

The Womanizer Premium is the latest in Womanizer’s line of clit sucker toys utilising their patented “Pleasure Air Technology”. The toy’s nozzle creates a seal around the clitoris and the toy provides stimulation via rapid pulses of air.

Womanizer Premium black clitoral suction toy
Image: Womanizer

The Womanizer Premium has a simple interface of 4 buttons. The bottom button just above the charging point switches the toy on and off, the one with a little wave pattern on it switches in and out of Auto Pilot mode, and the +/- buttons adjust the speeds. The buttons are easy to press and well positioned.

This toy is USB rechargeable, waterproof, and ergonomically designed to fit comfortably in the user’s hand. The nozzle is made of body-safe silicone, and the body is coated in the same.

Womanizer Review: Premium Product, Premium Packaging… Premium Pricetag

The Womanizer Premium lives up to its name before you even take it out of the box. The packaging is elaborate and decorated in a style which makes me think of perfume or high-end make-up, with a clear section where you can see the toy. Included with the toy is the charging cable, a convenient storage bag, and two nozzles of different sizes (so you can swap them out depending on what suits your body, or switch them between partners for safer sex reasons.)

The Womanizer Premium black box.
The Womanizer Premium clit sucker in its box

The Womanizer Premium also comes with a premium pricetag. At the time of writing, it retails for £169.99 ($199.99 US). Do I think it’s worth it? Eh… maybe.

If you can drop this kind of money on a toy, it’s an investment in your pleasure that will last you for years. On the other hand, the Classic model is just as good unless you care about the Premium’s special features.

Womanizer Premium Review: Special Features

The Womanizer Premium has three defining features which set it apart from Womanizer’s lower priced models and other brands’ clit sucker toys:

  • It boasts a massive 12 speed settings (the Womanizer Classic has only 8.) The lowest setting is lower and the highest setting is higher than ever before.
  • It has a truly fantastic feature known as Smart Silence. Smart Silence uses sensors to allow the toy to turn itself off automatically when it’s not in contact with the body and then back on again (at the same setting) when contact is reestablished. I’m obsessed with this feature, particularly for anyone who needs more discretion in their toy use.
  • Finally, there’s the Auto Pilot mode. I actually hate this with a ferocity that surprised me, because it’s really little more than a glorified pattern. In Auto Pilot mode, the intensity moves automatically between speeds (within a range of 4, which you can turn up or down). Which, no. I want to be in control when I’m using a toy! It can ruin my chances of orgasm if the stimulation changes suddenly when I’m getting close. I had to test this function for the review and now I will never use it again and forget it exists.

What I Liked About This Toy

This thing is fucking amazing. That’s it, that’s the Womanizer Premium review.

The best description I can give of how this toy feels? It’s like it is caressing your clit with a fierce determination to rip an orgasm from you whether you want it to or not, and when it does it’s the kind of orgasm that drenches the sheets and wakes the neighbours.

At least that was my experience.

It took me a while to come around to suction toys. However, now I’ve tried a fair few and the good ones are really good. I’d describe the Womanizer Premium as gentler than some others I’ve tried, even at the higher settings. Not in the sense of being lower powered – far from it, it packs a punch on the higher settings – but the overall effect is somehow smoother. If you’ve got a super sensitive clit or have found other suction toys too intense or harsh for you, the Womanizer Premium on the lower settings might be the perfect choice.

Anything I Didn’t Love?

Well, that stupid Auto Pilot setting, but it’s easy to forget that exists. The Womanizer Premium is also not the quietest, even when the toy is pressed against a body. For reference, my partner could hear it in the next room quite clearly even with the door closed.

Womanizer Premium Review: Verdict

If you can afford to drop close to £200 on a toy and want something really luxurious that will last you for many years, I can’t recommend the Womanizer Premium enough.

Since writing this post originally, this product has been replaced by the Womanizer Premium 2. This new and improved version is available from retailers such as Lovehoney UK, Lovehoney US, SheVibe, Sex Toys UK, Good Vibes, Babeland, and of course Womanizer themselves.

Thank you to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review. All views are, as ever, entirely my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

Header image for Lovehoney Thrusting Happy Rabbit review

[Toy Review] Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Thrusting Realistic Rabbit Vibrator

Published on by Amy

I approached this Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Thrusting review with some trepidation. I haven’t had the best relationship with rabbit vibrators up until now. For every one I love there are ten I hate and several I feel indifferent towards. There are three main reasons for this:

First, I don’t like internal vibrations. I find them uncomfortable or even painful, rarely pleasurable.

Second, most rabbit vibrators treat the clit as an afterthought, putting the weakest and buzziest vibrations in the rabbit “ears.”

Finally, the design of rabbit vibrators means that most of them will only work for a small number of bodies. Unless you have exactly the vagina-to-clit distance the designer envisioned, the toy probably won’t work as intended for you.

With that said, let’s look at the Thrusting Rabbit from the Lovehoney Happy Rabbit range.

Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Thrusting

The Thrusting Happy Rabbit is a hot pink rabbit-style vibrator with a thrusting shaft and two vibrating ears. It measures 9″ in total length and 5″ in insertable length. Its shaft has a diameter of 1.5″. It is fully waterproof and submersible, and USB rechargeable with a 150-minute charge giving 120 minutes of runtime.

Every toy in the Happy Rabbit range is made from body-safe silicone. A far cry from the horrible jelly things that everyone went mad for after that episode of Sex & the City aired 20 years ago.

Happy Rabbit Thrusting Vibrator: What I Liked

Let’s not bury the lede here: this toy gave me an orgasm, and it did so in under five minutes. Not an insignificant feat for any toy, and for a rabbit vibrator it’s downright impressive.

Lovehoney Happy Rabbit thrusting vibrator in hot pink
Image: Lovehoney

The Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Thrusting’s main selling point is, obviously, the thrusting mechanism. And, I have to say, it is excellent. There are three thrusting speeds to choose from, and personally I preferred the slowest. I found the higher speeds a little too intense to be pleasurable, but “hard pounding” has never really been my thing. Your mileage may vary.

The rabbit ears are thick and firm, and have a massive fifteen different vibration settings to choose from. I like that the clitoral arm has some flexibility, so you can maneuver it to fit with your body, but isn’t so flexible that getting any kind of pressure is impossible. The vibrations themselves are moderately powerful, if not exactly “blow your socks off.” I also love that the shaft doesn’t vibrate, just the ears.

What I Didn’t Like

The main downside of the Lovehoney Happy Rabbit is the sound. While I wouldn’t exactly describe it as “loud” in the true sense, the thrusting mechanism makes a noise I can best describe as “squeaking.” I could just about tune it out long enough to get off, but it’s a significant distraction and not a pleasant sensory experience.

Lovehoney Happy Rabbit thrusting vibrator in hot pink
Image: Lovehoney

The buttons are also pretty annoying. There are two buttons: one for the thrusting motion and one for the vibrating ears. Having to scroll all the way through fifteen settings to go back a step is frustrating. It breaks my flow in use and is not something I’d expect from a toy at this kind of price-point.

Finally, cleaning the Happy Rabbit Thrusting is a pain. Those little creases around the thrusting mechanism are traps for bodily fluids and bacteria.

Verdict: Did the Thrusting Rabbit Make Me Happy?

Overall, I was surprised by how much I liked the Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Thrusting. Despite my complaints about the noise, buttons, and germ-trap silicone creases, please don’t forget that this toy got me off in under five minutes. Its design is good, the thrusting motion is excellent, and the vibrating ears don’t appear to be an afterthought.

If you enjoy dual stimulation but prefer thrusting to internal vibrations, this could be a good option for you.

The Happy Rabbit Thrusting retails for £99.99 from Lovehoney UK and $139.99 from Lovehoney US. It is also available from Good Vibes, Babeland, and Sex Toys UK.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Thrusting Happy Rabbit vibrator to review. All views are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.

Header for Lovehoney Humdinger plastic vibrator review: text reads "Lovehoney Humdinger"

[Toy Review] Lovehoney Humdinger

Published on by Amy1 Comment

Recently I’ve been trying to test and recommend more affordable sex toys. Obviously I love the high-end products I’m lucky enough to try out, but those toys are simply out of budget for a lot of folks. Fortunately, you don’t need to spend a lot of cash to get a decent and body-safe toy. Silicone, glass, and hard plastic sex toys are coming down in price all the time. Today we’re looking at the Humdinger, a surprisingly well-designed and versatile plastic vibrator by Lovehoney that retails for just £24.99/$34.99.

Lovehoney Humdinger: Rechargeable Plastic Vibrator

Let’s ignore the silly name for a minute, shall we?

Lovehoney sex toys Humdinger, a purple plastic vibrator with a cup tip on one end and small hard nodule on the other
Image: Lovehoney

The Lovehoney Humdinger is a plastic clitoral vibrator with a cup-shaped tip on one side and a small, rigid nodule on the other. It measures 7.5″ in total length and about 1″ in diameter. I received an earlier iteration of this toy which was battery-operated, but Lovehoney has now upgraded the Humdinger to make it rechargeable. You’ll get around 50 minutes use from a full charge, which isn’t a great battery life.

The Humdinger is made of ABS plastic. Hard plastic sex toys are body-safe, non-porous, and easy to keep clean. This toy is also waterproof and submersible.

Lovehoney Humdinger: In-Use

The Humdinger has a simple one-button interface. While the rest of the vibrator is made of plastic, the button is silicone. While this is pretty standard, I have to say I preferred the old twist design, which allowed for finer control over the speed as well as dual-directional controls. It has 3 steady speeds and 7 patterns.

Woman's hand holding Lovehoney sex toys Humdinger, a purple plastic vibrator with a cup tip on one end and small hard nodule on the other
Image: Lovehoney

The best thing about the Humdinger for me, by far, is the shape of the tip. The cup design surrounds the entire clit, stimulating the glans, hood, and surrounding area. The nodule on the back is also great for more pinpoint stimulation. If you’re looking to experiment with different types of clitoral stimulation, the Humdinger is a surprisingly versatile toy for the price.

Power-wise, the Humdinger is mid-range in both intensity and rumbles. Plastic sex toys transmit vibrations particularly well, meaning you don’t get the “dampening” effect silicone can sometimes create. The downside is that it’s somewhat loud compared to many toys of a similar power level.

Humdinger Plastic Clitoral Vibrator: Verdict

The Humdinger is a good pick for folks looking for decent clitoral stimulation on a budget. The excellent shape, versatility, decent vibrations, and affordable price-point help to offset the annoying controls, loud motor, and mediocre battery life.

The Humdinger is available from Lovehoney UK and Lovehoney US. Use code AFF-COFFKINK10 to get 10% off your entire order.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views are mine.

Header image for Avant Pride P4 butt plug review

[Toy Review] Avant Pride P4 Power Play Silicone Butt Plug

Published on by Amy

Pride month may now be over, but Blush Novelties’ Avant Pride line lives on. Of course, there is never a bad time of year to plaster your favourite pride flag all over everything, including your sex toys. Today we’re looking at the P4, a large silicone butt plug inspired by the leather pride flag. Blush’s other pride-themed sex toys include the bisexual flag, lesbian flag, and LGBTQIA+ flag, amongst others.

The leather pride flag, designed in 1989, was originally primarily used by the gay leather community. In recent years, however, it has come to represent leather culture and the general BDSM community more widely. The flag features horizontal lines of black, blue and white, and a small red heart in the upper left. The Avant Power Play plug’s colour scheme is based upon this flag.

Power Play P4 Large Silicone Butt Plug

The Avant Pride Power Play is a silicone butt plug on the large side, measuring 4.75″ in total length, 4.25″ in insertable length, and 1.5″ in diameter at the widest point. For that reason, I wouldn’t recommend this as a plug for anal play beginners. If you’re just exploring for the first time, I suggest checking out my recommendations for the best slimline anal toys.

Instead of the more traditional round butt plug base, the Power Play plug has a wide T-bar base. It also has a short and wide neck, which is only slightly narrower than the base of the plug.

Avant Pride P4, a large silicone butt plug in black, blue, white and red stripes
Image: Blush Novelties

Design-wise, the Avant Pride P4 is striking but doesn’t particularly call to me. I tend to prefer my toys more on the femme and sparkly side!

Avant Pride P4: In Use

Size-wise. this toy is just on the right side of challenging for me. I can insert it, but it takes time and a lot of warm-up.

The best thing about the P4 butt plug, for me, is the feel of the silicone. It is soft, squishy and malleable, which both feels good and makes insertion more comfortable. If rigid plugs are uncomfortable or turn you off, an ultra-soft silicone plug is a great choice.

I also really like the shape of the base. If you position it so that the T-bar base sits parallel with your butt crack, you shouldn’t experience any of the chafing that can happen with round-base butt plugs during long-term wear.

Unfortunately, there was one big issue with the P4 silicone butt plug that I couldn’t seem to solve: it won’t stay in! I tried different body positions, different types and amounts of lube, and different ways of positioning the toy once it was inserted. No matter what I tried, it slipped out the moment I stopped holding onto it.

I suspect this problem is due to the shape of the neck. Butt plugs are normally anchored in place by the anal sphincter muscles, which clench around the main body of the toy and then relax around the narrower neck. Unfortunately, the P4’s neck is too short and too wide for this to work, at least for my body.

Avant Pride P4 Leather Pride Butt Plug: Verdict

A mixed bag, this one. While I love the base design and the softness of the silicone, the fact that it wouldn’t stay in makes the P4 more miss than hit. It’s fine if you’re looking for a handheld toy, but if you want an “insert and leave” butt plug, this isn’t the one.

The Avant Pride P4 retails for $49.99 and is available from Good Vibes and Babeland.

I received the P4 large silicone butt plug in exchange for an honest review. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views are mine.

Woman peeking over the top of a book for a post about why reading erotic stories is good for you

5 Reasons Why I Read Erotica (and You Should Too!)

Published on by Amy3 Comments

When I first started this blog, it was not cool to admit to reading erotic stories and enjoying them. Historically, erotica got a bad rap. Anything connected to sex tended to be – and occasionally still is – treated as dirty or shameful. Even now, as a pastime that is disproportionately enjoyed by women, reading so-called “spicy” books and writing erotic stories is often seen as something silly and frivolous.

At the time of editing, it’s been 14 years since Fifty Shades of Grey made E.L James a household name, but people were still trying to convinve each other they read this inexplicably-bestselling drivel for the gripping plot well into the 2020s. This post, in its original form, was a kind of defence of erotica. Over the last few years, though, the rise of phenomena like “romantasy” and #BookTok have made erotica well and truly mainstream.

Despite the Fifty Shades effect and still-pervasive stereotypes, not all erotica is abusive billionaires masquerading as Doms. Not all erotica is bad fanfiction. In fact, there are some truly wonderful smutty stories out there and I firmly believe that reading erotic fiction can be good for you. Masturbation is healthy, pleasure matters, and I am thrilled that erotica is having a mainstream moment. Here’s why.

Reading Erotic Stories is a Safer Way to Explore Fantasies and Limits

Reading about something is generally infinitely safer than doing it.

If you have a kink, fantasy, or sexual interest you can’t or don’t want to explore in reality, reading erotic stories about it can be great way to scratch that itch. You can’t get hurt by reading about something. No-one else’s consent is required. And no, it’s not cheating.

Reading about various kinds of sex is also a good way to discover your kinks, understand more about your internal erotic landscape, and explore in a low-pressure setting if you’re not sure whether something will work for you or not.

And in case you’re wondering: yes, it’s fine (and normal) to get turned on by something in fiction that you wouldn’t want to actually do in real life.

Fiction Can Introduce You to New Erotic Ideas, Archetypes, and Roles

I was reading erotic fiction with dominance and submission themes long before I was practicing BDSM in real life. Erotica helped me to discover the types of scenarios that interested me, the names and words that turn me on… and also the things that completely leave me cold. Reading and enjoying sapphic erotica was also a huge part of coming to accept my own queerness.

Erotica can introduce you to kinks you never knew existed, make you feel less alone in your sexual interests, or even help to open up lines of communication about kinks, fantasies and erotic ideas with your partner (more about that in a minute.)

For women, queer folks, trans people, kinksters, and anyone else whose identity is marginalised, spicy books or erotic stories online may be the first place we ever see sexuality like ours represented.

It Can Turn You On and Get You Off (Obviously)

This is perhaps the most obvious reason to read erotic stories, but it’s also still surprisingly taboo to say. Enjoying sexual arousal and pleasure for its own sake is a good thing.

For people with responsive sexual desire, erotic stimulus (such as making out or talking dirty with a partner or consuming erotic content) can not only heighten desire, but may be necessary to creating it in the first place. Whether you’re looking to turn yourself on for a lengthy solo or partnered sex session or have a quick orgasm before you go to sleep, erotica can help get you there.

Reading or Sharing Erotic Stories Can Improve Sexual Communication

Sharing the erotica you enjoy can be a great way to share what turns you on with your partner. Perhaps saying out loud that you want to be submissive in the bedroom feels scary, but pointing them to a story with those themes feels like an easier way into the negotiation.

Reading erotica together, or even reading it aloud to each other, can also be an incredibly hot time.

And, Yes, the Plots Can Be Good!

I don’t (usually) read smut for the story. But there are definitely erotic stories and novels out there that have compelling plots, engaging characters, and other things to recommend them besides the steamy scenes.

Where Can You Find Good Erotica?

Spicy books are often associated with, and primarily marketed to, cis women. However, erotica is for everyone. Regardless of your gender, orientation, and particular interests or kinks, there’s bound to be something in the wide world of smutty stories that appeals to you. And if no-one has written the story you want to read? Well, why not give it a go?

Erotica is tremendously personal and we all like different things. I’m not going to recommend personal favourites as they may not do anything for you.

Check out the erotica or romance section at your local bookshop. Check out #Bookstagram or #Booktok for recommendations. Follow readers’ groups on Facebook or Reddit, or check out the “Spicy” category on Goodreads.

If you want to read free erotic stories online, Literotica is probably the largest repository. Thousands of amateur writers have uploaded more than half a million stories for you to enjoy. There’s a lot of crap, of course, but some gems too. You can search by category, keyword, or tags. If you like your erotica with a side of visuals, why not check out some adult graphic novels?

If you have a Kindle, there are thousands of erotic novels, novellas, and stories ranging from free to a few dollars each. The Kindle Unlimited subscription allows you to rent some of them for free. Prefer to listen rather than read? Check out audio erotica.

Finally, of course, read your favourite sex bloggers, many of whom publish smutty true or fictional stories.

Header for Avant Pride P1 rainbow dildo

[Toy Review] Avant Pride P1 Dildo

Published on by Amy

As someone who is both very queer and loves bright colours, Pride Month is kind of a dream. Not only is it tremendously affirming to see celebrations of queer people and who we are, but there are rainbows on basically everything. Fuck rainbow capitalism from corporations that couldn’t give a damn about us the rest of the year, of course, but if a brand I already like and trust releases something in a pride colourway I’ll at least be a little bit tempted. Like this flexible, silicone rainbow dildo from Blush Novelties, the Avant Pride P1.

There are also leather, bisexual, and lesbian flag toys in this range, amongst others.

Avant Pride P1 Rainbow Dildo: Details

The Avant Pride P1 rainbow dildo is a fairly petite little thing. It measures 6″ in total length and 5.25″ insertable length, with a diameter of 1.4″ at widest point. It has a distinctly curved shape, a bulbous head, a flexible and bendy shaft, and a suction cup base. Made of body-safe silicone, the P1 sports the six colours of the classic rainbow LGBTQ+ pride flag.

Avant Pride P1 Dildo In Use: Slimline and Flexible

First, the good. I very much like the shape of the Avant Pride P1 rainbow dildo. The bulbous head is great for stimulating the G-spot, while the slimline shaft makes it comfortable to insert and the slightly wider bottom stimulates the vaginal opening. It’s also anal-safe, if that’s your thing, and imagine it would work similarly for the prostate and the anal opening.

Overall, though, this dildo is a little too flexible for my preferences. When I try to thrust with it, the ultra-bendy shaft means it’s likely to end up hitting the wrong spot or popping out of me entirely. It also means I need to use a lot of lube to even get it in at all.

At first glance, I thought this dildo would be perfect for strap-on sex. However, in reality, that’s really not the case. Though the wide base (sans balls) makes it harness-compatible and the slim shaft could be ideal for beginners or anyone who prefers less girthy insertables, the bendiness makes it far from an ideal dildo for either vaginal or anal strap-on sex.

P1 Rainbow Dildo: Verdict

Though I love the aesthetic, functionally this is a dildo that’s just okay. Where it excels is as a warm-up toy, or as a toy to insert and then leave in while other things are happening (such as clitoral play.) If you like very soft and flexible dildos it might suit you perfectly, but give this one a miss for either strap-on sex or harder thrusting.

The Pride P1 dildo retails for $44.99 and is available from retailers such as Good Vibes, Babeland, Shevibe, Sex Toys UK, and The Pleasure Garden.

I received this toy for free in exchange for an honest review. Affiliate links appear in this post. As ever, all opinions are my own.