Tag: kink products

chastity belt review header

[Kink Product Review] Oxy Bellatrix Chastity Belt

Published on by Amy

Readers are always asking me for recommendations for the best chastity belts for people with vulvas (often referred to as female chastity belts.) Something about the chastity belt kink—being locked up, unable to touch yourself, unable to be penetrated—seems to strike a chord with a lot of people. Perhaps it’s because the idea of giving someone else control over your sexual pleasure and release feels like the ultimate act of submission.

I’ve always been a bit stuck for what to recommend. Cheaper belts tend to not have the desired effect of preventing or inhibiting stimulation. More effective ones tend to be eye-wateringly expensive, easily running to hundreds of dollars. Until now, I haven’t been able to find one that sits at the intersection of effective and relatively affordable.

That’s why, when Oxy (an online kink store with an extensive range) got in touch and invited me to review for them, I jumped at the chance to get my hands on this product.

Oxy Kink Store Bellatrix: Best Chastity Belt for People with Vulvas (AKA Female Chastity Belt)

The Bellatrix Chastity Belt from Oxy Kink Store is made of stainless steel with silicone surrounds for comfort. The silicone is available in black, white, pink, or blue. I opted for simple, elegant black for mine. It comes with two mini padlocks, each with spare keys, and some spare screws.

Oxy Bellatrix female chastity belt

My belt arrived promptly, discreetly packaged in a plain brown parcel. Due to the shape, the belt comes packaged in two separate main pieces, with bubble wrap packaging protecting it. This means you need to put it together. This can take a few minutes to figure out, but it’s fairly self-explanatory (I found that looking at the picture of the whole piece on the website helped.) Some of the screws are quite small and fiddly, so set up your belt in a space with good lighting and be patient.

All belts are made to order in your size and choice of colour. The lead time is 10-15 days, so plan ahead for this one. You can also use this belt with fitted vaginal and anal plugs, if you wish (sold separately.)

Chastity Kink Belt: Fit, Comfort and Care

My Bellatrix Chastity Belt runs true to size and they’re also quite adjustable. So don’t worry if you gain or lose some weight. Though they’re made to your sizing specifications, there’s always multiple settings so you can tighten or loosen it if you need to.

Oxy Bellatrix female chastity belt
Oxy Bellatrix female chastity belt
Oxy Bellatrix female chastity belt

This Oxy Kink Store chastity belt is also more comfortable than I really expected it to be. It sits comfortably around the waist, and the silicone stops the stainless steel from digging into your skin while you’re wearing it. You can wear it directly against your body, or over an item of clothing such as underwear or skin-hugging trousers if you prefer. The plate that sits directly over the vulva has lots of small airholes in it, allowing your body to breathe and helping to prevent overheating.

The Bellatrix Chastity Belt is made of body-safe and non-porous materials which are easy to clean. Wash your belt between wears with warm soapy water, dry it off as well as you can, and then leave it to dry completely. You can also give it a quick interim clean with a body-safe sterile wipe.

Does It Work?

I’ve tried cheaper chastity devices and those made of softer materials, such as leather, in the past. Though sexy as part of a fantasy, none of them were really effective insofar as actually preventing the wearer from touching themselves.

In this regard, the Bellatrix Chastity Belt absolutely delivers. Once it’s properly fitted, the wearer has no way to reach their vagina and clitoris. So yes, it works beautifully.

Is the Oxy Kink Store Chastity Belt Suitable for Long-Term Wear?

For many people, the fantasy of a chastity belt is that their partner locks them in and simply leaves them in it for days, weeks… or even months or years. While this is hot in theory, it’s really not practical in reality.

Though it’s theoretically possible for people with penises, it’s possibly risky long term (particularly if you’re regularly wearing the device overnight.) And for people with vulvas, I’m just not at all sure it’s physically possible. Long-term wear of even the most comfortable and well-fitted chastity belt is likely to cause rubbing and chafing after a while. Having stainless steel and silicone around your bits for too long can cause excess sweating and the trapping of bacteria, which could lead to infections such as thrush, yeast infections, and bacterial vaginosis (BV.) Of course, blocking the vagina also harms its ability to keep itself clean.

Oxy Bellatrix female chastity belt

Full chastity belts can also inhibit your ability to wipe or wash properly after going to the bathroom. So if you’re going to wear it long term, you’ll need to be fastidious about hygiene and probably remove it completely at least once a day to wash yourself and the belt.

Honestly, I think true permanent or very-long-term chastity is in the realm of “doesn’t work in reality.” So no, this belt isn’t truly suitable for long-term continuous wear. But to be honest, I don’t believe there’s a device in existence that is. That’s no shade to the product (which is excellent) at all. That’s just physiology.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t have a hell of a lot of fun with the fantasy! In my experience, kink is really not about what is literally true or possible. It’s about playing with ideas, with dynamics, with emotions and desires and the hidden parts of ourselves. Toys and accessories are tools we use to help ourselves get into those mindsets and bring those fantasies to life. Our minds and bodies have to do the rest of the work.

A Few Fun Ways to Play with a Chastity Belt

Curious about chastity play but not sure where to start? I thought it would be fun to include a few ideas to get you started. As always, take what works for you, modify as you like, and leave the rest!

Oxy Bellatrix female chastity belt

  • If you go to kink events such as play parties, wearing or having your submissive partner wear a chastity belt at one of these events can add a hot semi-public aspect to your play.
  • Have your partner wear the belt and then tease them by touching every other erogenous part of their body. How long will it be before they beg you to unlock them?
  • If you’re playing solo, wear the belt and then do everything you can to turn yourself on. See how long you can stand it before you just have to take it off and touch yourself.
  • Ahead of a date, have the submissive partner wear the belt. The dominant partner can then text them all kinds of sexy thoughts to turn them on.

A quick note on safety: if you’re going to play with this belt when the wearer and keyholder aren’t physically together, always make sure the wearer has a spare key for emergencies.

Verdict

Sexy and huge fun! I’m really impressed with this belt. It’s well made with body-safe materials, does the job well, and is comfortable to wear. Top marks all around.

The Bellatrix Chastity Belt retails for $130 (that’s just under £110). This is honestly a very competitive price point for a stainless steel belt that is custom made for your measurements.

Thanks to Oxy for sending me their best-rated vulva chastity belt (AKA female chastity belt) to review. All opinions and experiences are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

Header for glow-in-the-dark collar and lead review

[Kink Product Review] Bondage Boutique Glow-in-the-Dark Collar and Lead

Published on by Amy

Bondage Boutique is Lovehoney’s own brand line of affordable BDSM, kink, and bondage gear, comprising restraints, impact toys, collar and lead/leash sets like this one, and more. While I’ve liked some items from the range more than others over the years, they’re generally pretty solid beginner-friendly pieces.

Bondage Boutique BDSM Collar & Leash Set

The Bondage Boutique Glow-in-the-Dark Collar and Lead Set is made of a vegan-friendly faux leather material. I have mixed and complicated feelings about both real and faux leather. Both come with ethical pros and cons. I tend to prefer the real thing these days unless we’re talking about sustainable faux leather, but people have different views on this so it’s great to see different options being made available.

Whether you choose real leather, faux leather, or different materials entirely, the most important thing is to choose pieces you love and will use for years, then pass them on or recycle them responsibly when you’re finished with them.

The Bondage Boutique BDSM collar and leash set features a black central stripe surrounded by two stripes that are white in daylight, and glow luminous green in the dark.

BDSM collar and leash set

It’s really hard to get a picture of it in the dark with the mediocre camera I have, so here’s one from the official product page:

BDSM collar and leash glowing in the dark

The collar and leash are connected by a 35.5″ chain which can be unclipped from the D-ring at the front. The leash features a looped handle in matching black and white faux leather. Comfortable to hold and convenient for keeping your submissive close to you!

The product page says this collar is “submersible” but honestly I wouldn’t recommend getting it wet. Splashes or sweat won’t do it any harm, but don’t wear it in the shower.

Glow in the Dark BDSM Collar & Leash Set: Appearance

The black-and-white look of this collar is just unusual enough to be eyecatching, but also means it will work with most outfits. The aesthetic is pretty gender-neutral, so it can potentially work for a wide array of different gender expressions.

Kinky collar and lead set BDSM toy in vegan leather

The glow-in-the-dark effect is fun and quirky. You’ll never lose your submissive in a dark dungeon again! Overall, this collar looks stylish and understated in the light, then fun and playful in the dark.

Overall, I have to say I don’t think this is really my aesthetic. It’s objectively nice enough, but I tend to prefer either more colour or a more feminine look. I’ll probably pass this on to someone else now that I’m done testing and reviewing it.

An Affordable Basic

One of the things I appreciate about the Bondage Boutique range is that it offers well-made items for a fraction of the price you’d pay for bespoke or custom kink gear. While I love a high-end piece as much as anyone, it’s vital that beginners and kinksters on a budgets have access to safe, quality toys. If you’re looking for a basic BDSM collar and leash set to get you started, this is a good option.

The Bondage Boutique Glow-in-the-Dark Collar and Lead set appears well made and robust. The stitching is neat and strong, and the hardware pieces are securely fastened to the faux leather.

Fit and Comfort

The Glow-in-the-Dark Collar and Lead set is fully adjustable. The collar features 7 sizing holes and you could probably add another easily enough with the right tool. It measures 20.5″ in total length and will fit the vast majority of neck sizes as it is.

I found this collar comfortable and enjoyable to wear. The material is soft and flexible and doesn’t irritate my skin. The band is narrow enough that I can wear it comfortably for hours without it affecting my posture. (I have intermittent neck and upper back pain, and collars that are too wide can exacerbate it if I wear them for too long.)

From a comfort perspective, the only downside is that the material doesn’t really “breathe,” since faux leather is a synthetic material (i.e. plastic.) This means my neck gets very sweaty after a while. If you’re wearing it in a warm environment, you might want to take it off for a few minutes occasionally to let your skin breathe.

Verdict: Enjoy Your Glow Up

This is a cute, fun, and versatile BDSM collar and leash set. It’s also well made, strong, comfortable, and should last you a good long time. Best of all, it retails for an incredibly affordable £19.99/$24.99.

The Bondage Boutique Glow in the Dark Collar and Lead Set is available from Lovehoney UK and Lovehoney US. Don’t forget that you can get 10% off at Lovehoney with the code “AFF-COFFKINK10” at checkout!

Thank you to Lovehoney for sending me this item to review. All views, as ever, are mine. This post contains affiliate links.

Header image for review of Lovehoney Pussy Pump

[Kink Product Review] Lovehoney Supreme Sensation Pussy Pump

Published on by Amy

Alongside my regular sex toy reviews and lingerie reviews, I thought it would be fun to review a few more niche and unusual kink items. I’ve been wanting to try a pussy pump for ages, and Lovehoney were kind enough to hook me up so I could test and review one for you.

What is a Pussy Pump?

A pussy pump features a cup or “chamber,” usually made of plastic, which sits over the vulva and creates a vacuum. When you use the attached pump, it pulls the air out and the seal gets tighter. The suction pulls blood into your vulva, giving it an engorged appearance and making everything much more sensitive. If you’re familiar with skin cupping, it’s basically the same mechanism.

Lovehoney Pussy Pump

The Lovehoney Supreme Sensation Pussy Pump, which I received to review, is one iteration of this concept. The clear plastic chamber is 4″ in length, which is sufficient to encase the clitoris, vaginal opening, and much of the vulva on most bodies. The hose is 19″ long and the finishes with the hand-held purple pumping bulb.

Supreme Sensation Pussy Pump from Lovehoney

This pussy pump features two release valves. The first is at the base of the bulb, and the second is on top of the chamber. This means that if you want to remove the hose when the chamber is in place, you can release the suction without having to reattach everything. I actually don’t recommend removing the hose, for reasons we’ll get into in a minute.

Lovehoney Pussy Pump Review

Pussy pumping takes a bit of practice, but it’s pretty easy once you’ve found the best way to use it for your body. We’re all slightly different shapes and sizes, so experiment to find the positioning that works best for you.

You’ll also likely need to use some lube to create a good seal. I found that lining the rim of the chamber with water-based lube worked well.

Pussy pump chamber

A note if you have pubic hair: you absolutely can use a pussy pump without removing your hair! It might be a little more challenging to get a seal and you might need to use more lube than someone with a shaven vulva, but it can be done relatively easily!

This might be a simple positioning issue, but I did find that the Lovehoney Supreme Sensation Pussy Pump needed re-pumping regularly during use as the suction gradually loosened. I suspect this was due to not having a perfect seal – more experimentation needed. For this reason, we kept the hose attached and re-pumped a bit every couple of minutes.

Lovehoney Pussy Pump Review: How Does It Feel?

I was a little nervous to test and review a pussy pump because I’ve tried suction type sensations on other parts of my body and not particularly liked it. I wasn’t sure if it would be painful, pleasurable, or somewhere in between.

Pussy pumping kit from Lovehoney

The sensation is probably best described as “interesting.” It certainly doesn’t hurt unless you pump it to its absolute max. Even then the sensation is a kind of tugging, throbbing intensity rather than a sharp pain.

Is it pleasurable? Well… sort of. Some people say that the sensation of pumping is hugely pleasurable by itself, and some can even orgasm from it. That wasn’t my experience. It felt sort of nice, but not something that’s going to get me off any time soon.

The aftermath, though? That’s where the really good stuff is! Because pumping draws blood into the area, it left my vulva engorged and super sensitive. The orgasm I had shortly after testing the pussy pump for this review snuck up on me with a speed and intensity that was pretty out of the ordinary!

Verdict

If you’re curious about pussy pumping and want to give it a go, then sure! Pumping can increase sensitivity and can be a fun and intimate thing to play with either on its own or in a kink context.

The Supreme Sensation Pussy Pump retails for £26.99 from Lovehoney UK or $29.99 from Lovehoney US (and you can get 10% off this and anything else at Lovehoney using my code AFF-COFFKINK10 at checkout.) An interesting and different addition to our kit bag, which we’ll definitely use again.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Supreme Sensation Pussy Pump to review. All opinions mine, as ever. Affiliate links appear in this post.

Review of Cat Claws Skin Scratcher sensation play toy by Lovehoney Dominix

[Kink Product Review] Dominix Deluxe Cat Claw Skin Scratcher

Published on by Amy

Lovehoney were kind enough to recently send me a few niche kink items so I could create some mini reviews. Today we’re looking at this set of sensation play claws from the Lovehoney Dominix range.

Lovehoney Dominix Cat Claw Skin Scratcher

The Cat Claw Skin Scratcher is a sensation play toy from the Lovehoney Dominix range inspired by cat claws. It is wearable on any finger and held in place by two ring loops. It features two sharp scratchy “claws.”

The Cat Claw Skin Scratcher is made of metal and covered in a matte black, tarnish-free powder coating. The look is simple yet sexy, and the Scratcher will fit most fingers. (It’s actually a bit big for me, but my hands are tiny!)

What is Sensation Play?

Sensation play is exactly what it sounds like: playing with sensations in a kinky or sexual context. Sensation play can involve playing with pain, but it absolutely doesn’t have to. It can be erotic, soothing, intense, gentle… almost anything you want it to be! Sensation play can include tickling, stroking, scratching with fingernails or claws toys like this one, or any other interesting or intense sensation.

I love sensation play both for its own sake, and as a precursor or add-on to other kinky activities. Sensation play pairs well with bondage and restraint, can add a kinky twist to massage, and can warm up the body ready for impact play.

Remember that sensation play can be surprisingly intense, even if you’re not playing with pain. It’s important to negotiate throughly, check in regularly with your partner, and ensure ongoing and enthusiastic consent.

So How Does This Sensation Play Claws Scratcher Feel?

I wasn’t sure what to expect from the Dominix Deluxe scratcher when I requested it for review. It is surprisingly sharp! Just like an actual kitty’s claws, it could absolutely draw blood if you’re not careful.

(I don’t recommend drawing blood deliberately. If you absolutely must, at least practice good hygiene and ensure your Scratcher is sterile.)

I’m very into the feeling of being scratched. Whether it’s a lover’s fingernails or a Wartenberg wheel, something about it is very erotic to me. So I love the feeling of the Cat Claw Skin Scratcher. It’s less stingy-intense than a pinwheel, but a step up from scratching with just nails.

Non-kinky bonus: if I get an itch on my back, this sensation play claws scratcher is also useful for scratching those hard-to-reach spots! And aesthetically, it’s fun to wear with my catsuit and ears.

Where is it Safe to Scratch?

Most places, if you’re careful! Upper backs, butts, thighs, and other muscular or fleshy areas are always good. Breasts and genitals are probably okay if you’re careful. Don’t scratch on or near the face, and be very cautious around joints and bony areas.

Sensation Play Claws: Verdict

A fun and sexy addition to your sensation play kit!

This sensation play claws scratcher retails for £19.99 from Lovehoney UK or $29.99 from Lovehoney US.

Purrrrrrrr-fect!

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review. All views are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.

Header image for a review of the Saffron Layer Paddle vegan leather from Sportsheets

[Kink Product Review] Sportsheets Vegan Saffron Layer Paddle

Published on by Amy

A paddle is one of the best impact toys to start with if you’re new to kink and BDSM. It’s relatively safe and easy to use one, and they’re cheap and readily accessible. Today I’m reviewing the Sportsheets Vegan Saffron Layer Paddle.

Sportsheets Saffron Layered Kink Paddle

The Saffron Layer Paddle comes from Sportsheets’ Saffron range of vegan faux-leather kink products in black and red. It features three layered straps which are coated in fuzzy suede-like material (also vegan) on one side. The stitching is strong and holds up under use.

I have complicated feelings about “vegan leather,” given that it’s basically plastic. Better for animals, maybe, but arguably not better for the planet. There’s no perfect answer here and you’ll need to decide what your personal stance is. Whatever you decide, choose items you really love and care for them so they’ll last as long as possible.

Vegan paddle from Sportsheets - Saffron Layer Paddle

The paddle is black and red, which are pretty much the quintessential “kink colours”. The outward facing surfaces are red, and the front side of the handle features a polka dot design.

The Saffron kink paddle has a loop handle which you can wrap around your wrist while you’re wielding the paddle, or use to hang it for convenient storage. A small tag bears the Sportsheets insignia.

Saffron Layer Paddle vegan BDSM toy

This paddle is 12.2″ long from tip to tip, and 2″ across. It’s super light, which makes it comfortable to hold and easy to wield. I don’t really top very often but on the rare occasions I do, I like toys that I can use until my bottom has had enough (as opposed to when my weak arms give out!)

Saffron Kink Paddle In Use: Its Bark is Worse than Its Bite

This probably isn’t a paddle for serious pain players, as the impact it delivers is on the gentler side. Pro tip: if you hit with the longest layer impacting the body first, you get a more impressive sting. The impact is pretty surface-level. Since the paddle is so light, you’re unlikely to get any significant thud out of it.

Vegan leather BDSM paddle from Sportsheets Saffron faux leather range

This is one of those paddles that sounds worse than it is. Thanks to the three layers smacking together, it provides a loud and satisfying thwack even without putting much force behind it. If you’re looking for something that sounds impressive without needing to actually hit very hard, layered paddles are the way to go!

Safety Considerations: Minimising Risk During Impact Play

Paddles are amongst the safest impact kink toys you can play with (floggers are slightly more dangerous if you don’t know what you’re doing, and whips are yikes-just-don’t-go-there-without-expert-tuition!) You’re really unlikely to do any damage with a light paddle like this one, so you can play without worrying – even if you’re a complete beginner.

Just remember the golden rules: never hit the joints, spine, lower back and kidney area, head, or face. Aim for fleshy and padded areas like the butt, thighs, and shoulder blades.

Verdict

This is a well-made and reliable basic piece that will serve you well and last a long time if you take care of it. If you’re new to kink or prefer playing on the lighter side and are looking for a vegan-friendly paddle, this is a solid buy.

The Sportsheets Saffron Layer Paddle retails for $24 from Good Vibes and Babeland.

I received this product from a retailer that is sadly no longer in business. All views, as always, are my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

Header image for review of Bondage Seductions sex game for couples

[Game Review] “Bondage Seductions”

Published on by Amy

There are a number of things that are consistently more appealing in theory than in reality. One such concept? Sex games. Buckle in, folks, it’s time to review Bondage Seductions, a BDSM/bondage card game made by Kheper Games and sold by Lovehoney.

Bondage Seductions: Where to Begin With This Mess of a Card Game?

Bondage Seductions is a sex card game for couples. In the box, you’ll find:

  • 36 game cards
  • A pair of silky “ties” (lengths of ribbon)
  • 2 dice
  • A red elasticated blindfold
  • A mini rubber flogger
Bondage Seductions sex game box

The quality of these items is… Not Great. The flogger looks shoddily made and the materials look and feel cheap. The cards contain the same copy in four languages (English, German, French, and Spanish.) I can’t speak for any of the other languages, but the English passages are poorly written and feature frequent typos and weird syntax. Clearly nobody proofread this before whacking it through Google Translate and publishing it.

The rules are simple: roll the 2 dice, and choose the corresponding numbered card (they are numbered 1-1 through 6-6. The red die indicates the first number, the black die the second number.)

Contents of Bondage Seductions couples sex game

Cards in red are “for her to read,” and cards in black are “for him to read” (more on that in a minute.) You read your chosen scenario and then act it out, using the included props as appropriate.

Everything That’s Wrong with This Game

First, Bondage Seductions gets its terminology egregiously wrong. “Bondage” is not a synonym for “BDSM” or “kinky sex”. Bondage is one specific kink: restraining other people and/or being restrained. This game should be called Kinky Seductions or something, because most of it doesn’t involve bondage.

The game also continually uses the word “whip” to describe a flogger. Again, they’re completely different implements! The two words are not synonymous. This is a whip. This is a flogger. The item in this game is a flogger, admittedly a shit excuse for one.

Terminology matters in kink. We can only negotiate and talk about our desires and limits effectively if we use the right language. If someone says they like whips but they actually mean floggers, you can see how that could lead to some really troublesome miscommunications. Single-tail whips are seriously dangerous pieces of kit that can put you or your partner in hospital if you don’t know what you’re doing. They require training and practice to use properly. Using the correct terminology helps keep people safe.

(The game also, even more inexplicably, refers to the flogger as a “paddle”. This is a paddle.)

Bondage Seductions is lax to the point of being irresponsible when it comes to safety. There are cards that explain what safewords are and how to use them, which I guess is something. There’s also a mention of consent and only going as far as you want to go. But that’s all, and that’s not enough.

Several of the activities listed can be dangerous either physically (e.g. impact play) or psychologically (e.g. non-consent roleplay) if done incorrectly. While I appreciate that game creators can’t give an essay on safety for every activity, some context is essential.

I was particularly horrified to see one card suggesting that you flog your lover’s back, without making any distinction between hitting the upper back and shoulders (generally fine) and hitting the lower back, kidney area, and spine (incredibly dangerous and absolutely NOT fine.)

We can’t just nudge total beginners into impact play or non-consent roleplay scenes without telling them how to do so and emerge unharmed. This is grossly irresponsible.

Bondage Seduction… But Only If You’re Cis and Straight

This game takes unnecessary and aggressive gendering to the next level. It begins from the premise of assuming the players are a heterosexual, cisgender couple. There was absolutely no reason to do that! The cards could easily have been split by Top/bottom rather than male/female, or even just included a bunch of scenarios and left it to the players to decide who would take which roles.

Bondage Seductions kink game cards

This game is not just cisheteronormative, but incredibly sexist. Here are a few choice quotes (all genuine, all copied down verbatim):

“Doesn’t he know you’d have an orgasm on the spot if he’d lift a finger and do the dishes for once in his life?”

“Perhaps he’d chatting with his mother when he should be asking about your day? Or worse yet… screaming at other drivers when he should be offering you compliments about your new hairdo!”

“Men are visual, and women are more sensitive to touch.”

“Don’t you wish sometimes that he would just shut up?”

This game was designed by people who don’t have a very good opinion of either men or women. It also seems to carry the assumption that people in heterosexual partnerships kinda hate each other. And honestly, I just find that sad.

ALSO. There are two cards titled “Safe Word For Her” and “Safe Word for Him.” Apart from the pronouns, these two cards are identical. There is literally zero point to this. Just have one safeword card or explain the concept in the rules! This game takes “gendering things that have no reason to be” to the next level.

Verdict

Bondage Seductions is bad. It’s really, really bad. This game is not just cheesy, cheap, and badly put-together. It’s also outrageously sexist and dangerously cavalier about some pretty risky activities.

Seriously. Do not go near this game. This is awful. There are far better introductory toys and beginner-friendly BDSM kits out there.

Bondage Seductions is available from Lovehoney UK and Lovehoney US, but you absolutely shouldn’t buy it.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this product to review! Views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

leg in futomomo shibari tie. Header image for 3 mini reviews of kink products

[Kink Product Review] Beginner BDSM Toys: Leather Cuffs, Hemp Rope, and Silicone Paddle

Published on by Amy

If you’re looking to explore BDSM for the first time, the sheer volume of toys and gear on the market can be overwhelming. From BDSM starter kits to custom, artisan-made toys, shopping for beginner BDSM toys can be a minefield and an expensive one at that. That’s why I’m working with The Pleasure Garden, a women-owned and 100% body-safe online sex shop, to bring you this round-up of three potential options for newcomers to kink: a set of leather cuffs, some hemp rope, and a silicone paddle. You’ll also find some quick tips on how to use them safely.

Let’s delve into the parcel, shall we?

Beginner BDSM Toys #1: Bound Noir Slim Wrist Cuffs

If you’re interested in playing with bondage and restraint, a set of good quality wrist cuffs is a great place to start. This set, made of soft and supple real leather with gold-coloured metal hardware, retail for the bargain price of £34.99.

Bound Noir black leather cuffs from a beginner BDSM toys kit

The Bound Noir Slim Wrist Cuffs come with a removable connecting chain with clips at either end, and each cuff has two D-rings. This offers plenty of opportunities for play, from securing the wearer’s hands behind their back to fastening them to a bondage bed, St. Andrew’s Cross, or other surface. They have 5 notches for an adjustable fit.

These cuffs are soft and comfortable, and the leather gets softer with use as you break them in. I’ve worn them in scene them for well over an hour, and they remained comfortable the whole time. The gold accents give an elegant feel.

Bound Noir black wrist cuffs on anonymous female hands

If you’re vegan or would prefer not to use products made from animal leather, there are many faux leather alternatives available.

Leather Wrist Cuffs Tips & Tricks

When you start playing with restraint, experiment with different positions. Not everything will be comfy for everyone. Clip your partner’s hands together behind their back, hook their arms around the bedpost, or tie their hands to something above their head. If you like attending kink parties or other play spaces, there will be all kinds of furniture to experiment with. Pair with a set of ankle cuffs for more complete restraint or a “spread-eagle” position.

Safety-wise, cuffs should be loose enough that you can slip 1-2 fingers between the cuff and the skin. Experiment with different settings and check in regularly. If the wearer experiences any numbness, tingling, or pins and needles in the hands, take the cuffs off or loosen them. Never leave a bound person alone.

Store your cuffs flat, not fastened, to keep them looking good for longer.

Beginner BDSM Toys #2: Bound to Please Hemp Bondage Rope

Ask any rope bondage practitioner about their favourite type of rope, and you’ll get wildly different but equally passionate answers. We all have our favourites. I’ve always favoured jute for its look, its feel, and the way it handles. Another popular choice is hemp. this hemp bondage rope from Bound To Please.

Hemp rope coiled from a beginner BDSM toys kit

This hemp rope retails for £12.99 for each 10 metre lengths. It is 5mm in diameter, which is my preferred rope thickness for most purposes.

The thing I love about natural fibre ropes, and hemp in particular, is the smell. Hemp rope has a distinct, sweet and woody smell smell. Natural fibres also get softer and smoother with use, as they are handled and absorb the natural oils from your skin.

Rope Tips & Tricks

Close up of part of a futomomo in hemp rope on anonymous leg
A self-tie by me

Beginners often wonder how much rope to buy, and the annoyingly vague answer is “it depends.” Factors like the size of your rope bottom and the types of ties you want to do will have an impact. If all you want to do is tie your partner to the bed for sex, a couple of lengths will be enough. For more complex formal ties, a minimum of 3 lengths will get you started.

Once you start moving beyond very basic ties, the risk involved in rope bondage increases. Suspension looks cool and can be great fun, but it is also very dangerous if not done properly. Take the time to become proficient in floor-based bondage before you even think about suspending or being suspended, and then learn how to do it under the guidance of an experienced rigger.

Make sure you can remove the rope quickly if you need to. EMT shears (the kind paramedics use) are a popular and safe option. Again, never leave a bound person alone.

Peer rope events, in-person or online classes, and instructional videos by reputable teachers are all great ways to learn bondage basics and not-so-basics. Don’t discount self-tying, either, which can be both fun and educational.

Beginner BDSM Toys #3: Bound to Please Silicone Paddle

The most common materials for spanking paddles are leather, faux leather, and hard plastic. I’d never used a silicone paddle before I received this one to try.

The Bound To Please Silicone Paddle measures 41cm long by 6cm wide. It is light and easy to handle, a breeze to clean and sterilise (just throw it in boiling water or use a body-safe medical wipe), and suitable for vegans.

BLack silicone paddle from a beginner BDSM toys kit

I tested this one out with my partner The Artist. To the best of my recollection, my reaction to the first few strikes was a string of profanity. A combination of the density of the silicone, textured surface, and slender design means this fucking thing hurts like hell.

Seriously, I don’t think I can really recommend a silicone paddle as a beginner BDSM toy. It is vicious.

Now to be clear, I love this paddle. But I am an experienced kinkster and have been doing impact play for well over a decade. Unless you have a high pain tolerance and a very clear idea of your body’s capabilities and limits, I cannot recommend this paddle to someone just starting out. You could get hurt or hurt your partner in a bad way if you start out with an impact toy this intense.

So what do I recommend instead? A wide, soft leather paddle or flexible layered paddle is a great beginner BDSM toy for curious impact players.

If you’re feeling brave enough to try this fucker, though, it retails for an affordable £24.99.

Silicone Paddle Tips & Tricks

Black silicone paddle in anoymous hand

Before you pick up a silicone paddle or any other impact toy, learn which areas of the body you can safely strike. Fleshy areas like the butt and backs of the thighs are low risk and enjoyable on most people. Front and inner thighs, breasts and chests, upper backs, and genitals can also be fun if you’re careful. Never strike the face, head, neck, spine, lower back, or any bony area or joint.

If you’re new to impact play, start slowly. Most people can take more impact, and will enjoy it far more, if you build up gradually. Unless you’ve negotiated it very explicitly with an experienced bottom, whacking someone at full force right out of the gate is a recipe for a bad time.

Remember that the goal of an impact play session isn’t to take or dish out as much as you possibly can. The goal is for everyone involved to have a good time.

When you’re negotiating a spanking session, get clear about what kind of scene you want and what impact play means to you. Playing with punishment is hot to some people and emotionally painful for others. Will power dynamics be involved or are you purely in it for the physical sensations? Will you be taking on a role, or playing as yourself?

Other Recommendations For Your First Toy Kit

When you’re just starting out in kink, you don’t necessarily want to spend a fortune on kit – especially before you’ve fully worked out what you like! Exactly what you prioritise spending your money on will, of course, depend on your interests. But here’s a few things I think you should consider for your basic all-purpose kink kit…

Thank you to The Pleasure Garden for sending me these items to review. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views and writing are mine.

A female bottom with a silicone flogger placed across it. For a review of the Obsidian Neon Wand Intensity Kit from Stockroom

[Kink Product Review] Kinklab Obsidian Neon Wand Intensity Kit

Published on by Amy

Electro play has been an interest of mine ever since I first encountered a restored violet wand at a fetish fair. (Have you seen them? They’re gorgeous. They’re also expensive as hell. Mr C&K and I have a friend who has an amazing electro set-up in their home dungeon which we love playing with when we get the opportunity to visit. But until now, exploring electro-play at home has been difficult for us due to the cost of the gear. Enter the Kinklab Obsidian Neon Wand Intensity Kit.

A word of safety warning: please don’t buy a knock-off neon wand from places like Amazon, Aliexpress or Shein. I made this mistake when I was young and uneducated. We were fortunate that nothing bad happened, but please, please, please buy your electro-sex gear from a reputable kink and BDSM supplier.

What is a Neon Wand?

The neon wand is a modern and cheaper alternative to the violet wand, a turn-of-the-century quack medical device. Now a popular BDSM toy, violet or neon wands discharge electricity across the surface of the skin, creating a sensation that can range from a gentle, warming tickle to a sharp and scratchy pain.

I’m informed that the sensation is somewhat similar to getting tattooed, but having inkless skin (for now) means I can’t testify as to the accuracy of this claim.

A neon wand consists of the main wand handle and various attachments (sometimes called electrodes) which are made of glass or conductive silicone. When you plug an electrode into the wand and then touch it to the body, it transmits electricity across the skin. When switched on, the inside of the clear glass electrodes glows a bright colour, most commonly red or purple. This video is a good visual if you want to see and hear the Kinklab Neon Wand in action.

There are lots of reasons why people might enjoy electro play (sometimes also called e-stim, electro-stim or electro-sex.) Some find the sensation pleasant, relaxing, or even meditative. Others are masochists and get off on pain. For some people, these devices play into a medical kink, while for others it’s about conquering a fear or seeing how much they can take. As with most kinks, the motivations are as varied as the people who partake.

Kinklab Neon Wand: Obsidian Intensity Kit

The Obsidian Neon Wand Intensity Kit is a bundle that consists of the neon wand and two attachments: the Electro-Whip and the Flex Capacitor, both made from conductive silicone.

KinkLab Obsidian Neon Wand Intensity Kit with wand and two attachments
Image: KinkLab

Be aware that this kit does not come with any glass attachments, so if you want those you’ll need to buy them separately. Stockroom sells quite a few by KinkLab that are compatible with this set.

The neon wand has an 8 foot power cable. A word of warning for my non-US readers: it is a US plug, so you’ll need an appropriate step-down converter to use it safely in your country. Thankfully, I already have one for purposes of using my Magic Wand.

KinkLab Neon Wand Kit Review: In Use

The Obsidian Neon Wand Intensity Kit’s user interface couldn’t be simpler. There’s a single dial control to control the power and intensity. There are comprehensive instructions so even BDSM beginners can get set up and start playing with the kit in minutes.

I experience electro-play on a spectrum that ranges from tickle to sting. At the lower ends, the Neon Wand Intensity Kit reminds me somewhat of the sensation of having a Wartenberg wheel drawn across my skin. On the higher settings, it’s a sharp and stingy pain. If you hate stingy sensations, neon wand play is unlikely to be for you.

Electrode 1: Electro-Whip

KinkLab Neon Wand kit electro whip
Image: Kinklab

The Electro-Whip is actually a small flogger, with ten falls made of conductive silicone. This is not a toy for hard impact. Despite the name and design, this “whip” is more designed for dragging across the body, leaving a trail of sparks wherever it goes. You can strike with it gently, but again, think “stroke” rather than “strike.”

It’s a stingy fucker! The high number of contact points on the body all at once and their small surface area means this one delivers a lot of bite.

Electrode 2: Flex Capacitor

KinkLab Neon Wand kit flex capacitor electrode
Image: Kinklab

The Flex Capacitor is described as the most intense of all neon wand electrodes, and it’s an apt description.

The two-pronged tip sends a powerful shock to wherever it touches. The Flex is best for short, sharp bursts of pain. I couldn’t stand this one on any but the lowest settings, it’s that intense.

Using Your Kinklab Neon Wand Kit Safely

As with all BDSM activities, there are some risks inherent in electro-play. Knowledge is your first and greatest line of defense. This is not an exhaustive list and I am not a doctor, so please do your own research before you start playing, but as a starting point here are some of the key safety points you need to be aware of:

  • Again, please buy a genuine device from a reputable supplier.
  • Check your cords before play. If any of them are frayed or look damaged, do not use the device.
  • Store your device in a cool, dry place. Don’t get it wet or use it in a damp environment such as the bathroom. Make sure your skin is completely dry before you begin playing. Come on folks, we all learned in primary school that water and electricity don’t mix, didn’t we?
  • Check the voltage/ampage and make sure you are using an appropriate converter for your country’s outlets, if relevant.
  • Do not leave your device plugged in when you’re not using it.
  • Read the instruction manual and follow it.
  • Do not do electro play if you have a pacemaker. Always check before playing with a new partner. Do not assume your partner knows that pacemakers and electro-play are a bad combination.
  • Do not do electro-play if you have any kind of inbuilt/non-removable medical device in your body (such as, for example, an insulin pump). The electricity can damage your device, putting you at risk.
  • Do not do electro-play if you have a heart defect.
  • Do not do electro-play if you experience seizures.
  • Do not do electro-play if you are pregnant.
  • Remove any metal jewellery or accessories before you start.
  • Do not hold the device on one spot on the body for more than a second or two. Keep it moving. This will greatly reduce the risk of burns or skin damage.
  • If you experience intense pain or any sensation that worries you, stop immediately.
  • Do not use the device on the face or head, especially near the eyes or mouth.
  • Start out at a low setting, build up slowly, and listen to your body.

Kinklab Neon Wand Intensity Kit Review: Verdict

I love this kit. Though it’s easy to use, I think this kit is probably best enjoyed by more advanced players or those who know they enjoy more intense electro-play sensations. If you’re a complete beginner, I’d recommend starting out with a basic kit with glass electrodes.

The Obsidian Neon Wand Intensity Kit retails for $187.99 and is available from Stockroom, Good Vibes and Babeland.

Thank you to Stockroom for sending us this product to review. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views are my own.

Header image for a review of the Lovehoney Take Control bondage kit

[Kink Product Review] Lovehoney Take Control Bondage Kit

Published on by Amy

Sex toy kits are a fantastic idea in theory, but usually significantly less amazing in practice. Too often, they’re little more than a collection of cheap and poor-quality products shoved together in a pretty box and sold for a premium price. I’ll nearly always tell my readers to forego a kit and spend a bit more on just one or two quality items. However, I try to keep an open mind, which is why I agreed to review the Take Control Bondage Kit for beginners from Lovehoney.

Take Control: A Beginners’ Bondage Kit by Lovehoney

It’s been a very long time since I was new to BDSM. I’ve been doing kinky shit for well over a decade and have accrued a sizeable collection of toys, from basic staples to custom collars, premium impact toys, and more. So a beginner kit is not something I would ever buy for myself.

Therefore, I am trying to step back in time ten years or so in my mind, and view this BDSM starter kit through the eyes of someone who is just starting out, collecting their first beginner BDSM toys, or maybe wondering if they’re even kinky.

Lovehoney Take Control Bondage Kit: First Impressions

The Take Control Bondage Kit comes in one simple box, with all the products clearly displayed on the front so you know exactly what to expect. The packaging is brightly coloured and fun, reducing the intimidation factor for nervous new kinksters.

"Take Control" Lovehoney bondage kit
"Take Control" Lovehoney bondage kit in its box

There’s a LOT of information on the box, too. I appreciate that Lovehoney has provided a brief description on how to use each item as well as some basic information on safety and consent. The box reminds players to use safewords, never leave a bound person alone, and have a non-verbal safe signal if someone is gagged. It’s pretty 101-level stuff, but that’s also what a complete newcomer to kink is likely to need. Top marks for that.

I wasn’t delighted with the way the box was packed. Everything was just sort of piled in, each item wrapped in a cellophane wrapper. It’s a lot of unnecessary single-use plastic.

There is no real leather in this kit, making it vegan-friendly.

What’s in the Lovehoney Take Control Bondage Kit?

With that said, I think this is overall a decent beginners’ bondage kit. Many BDSM starter kits and sex toy kits generally are filled with things that aren’t even safe, let alone of good quality.

Let’s take a look at what’s inside, shall we? Just for fun, I’ve included a fun tip or an idea to try with each item in the Take Control kit. As always, pick the ones that resonate for you, leave the rest, and add your own ideas as you explore.

1: Blindfold

This blindfold is super comfy. It’s also thick and padded, meaning I couldn’t see a thing when it was on. The band is stretchy, too, so it should fit most people comfortably.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Blindfold your partner and stroke different items across their body – a silk scarf, a piece of velvet, the tails of your flogger – and have them guess what each item is.

2. Nipple suckers

I really liked these little suckers! They’re a great gentle introduction to nipple play, and perfect if you want some sensation but without the pain of nipple clamps or clothes pegs. They work for all chest sizes, from flat chests to large breasts, and most nipple sizes. If you flick or hit them too hard, they will fly off, but they can withstand some gentle manipulation.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Tell your partner to fetch you something from another room with these on. They’ll have to move carefully, though – they’ll be spanked if one falls off!

3. Ball gag

Full disclosure: I hate ball gags. I fucking hate them. They make my jaw hurt, they make me drool, and I can’t kiss my partner when I’m wearing one. They’re basically a soft limit at this point. With that said, this is a fine ball-gag if you do like them. The holes make it breathable, and silicone is a non-porous and hygienic material. I also like how adjustable this gag is. With 9 buckle holes, it will fit most people comfortably.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Make your submissive try to repeat words back to you while gagged.

4. Flogger

This is a stingy little fucker! Don’t let the small size fool you, this flogger can pack a wallop. The falls are made of thin rubber, which delivers a vicious sting when you put some force behind it. If pain isn’t your thing, you can drag it sensually across the skin for a gentle tickle. I would have liked the handle to have a bit more width and weight to it.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Try gently flogging the vulva or penis if your partner is up for it. Remember to clean your flogger thoroughly afterwards to remove any bodily fluids.

5. Wrist and ankle cuffs

These were the weakest part of the Take Control kit by far, for me. They’re quite thin and made of nylon, with no padding, which means they chafe if you put any pressure on them. They’re fine for exploring the feeling of being restrained, but if you want to pull against them at all I recommend getting some quality BDSM cuffs.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Restrain your partner then make them watch you masturbate in front of them.

6. Under-bed restraints

These are great, except for the tiny detail that they don’t fit my bed! We have a Super King bed and these restraints fit up to King Size. So they’ll be fine for the vast majority of people, but if you have a ridiculously giant bed like us, they may not fit.

These restraints are strong, durable, and easy to both set up and tuck out of sight when you’re done, if you want to. The little clips mean you can easily add any set of cuffs to them.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: when your partner is restrained, run a cube of ice along their body or drip low-temperature candle wax onto their skin.

7. Silicone suction cup dildo

Wow, a body-safe dildo in a BDSM kit! This shouldn’t be a pleasant surprise, and yet it is. This dildo measures 6″ in length and has a diameter of 1.5″. The slight curve is ideal for targeting the G-spot or prostate, and the silicone is super soft and silky. The suction cup and hollow space for a bullet vibrator are great additions.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Tease your lover’s entrance with the dildo until they beg to have it inside them.

8. Strap-on harness

This is the same harness that Lovehoney sells as part of their basic strap-on sex/pegging kit a few years ago. It’s comfortable and the rings are interchangeable so you can use it with any dildo with a flared base. However, it’s a pretty basic harness and you’ll want to upgrade to a higher-quality harness if you find you enjoy strap-on play.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: If you have a vulva, insert a wearable vibrator before you put on your harness. This will stimulate you while you penetrate your partner.

9. Wired bullet vibrator

I was fully expecting this bullet vibrator to be awful. While it’s far from the strongest bullet vibrator in the world and it is a little buzzy, it’s not a bad basic bullet for the size and price. It has several patterns as well as steady vibration speeds.

I don’t love that it’s wired rather than cordless, but the wire is long enough for one partner to control the remote while the other holds the vibrator against their genitals. The bullet takes 2x AAA batteries, which are not included.

Beginners’ bondage kit play idea: Switch it off just when your lover is on the edge of orgasm and make them beg for release.

Lovehoney Take Control Beginners’ Bondage Kit: Verdict

On the whole, the Take Control Bondage Kit is a very solid basic beginners’ set for the price. If you’re brand new to exploring your kinks, you get a lot of bang for your buck here.

The Take Control kit retails for £79.99 UK/$99.99 US.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this kit in exchange for an honest review. If you choose to purchase this or anything else from Lovehoney, please buy through my affiliate links – it supports the blog at no extra cost to you!

Header image for a review of the Rouge Garments leather flogger

[Kink Product Review] Rouge Garments Leather Spiral Flogger

Published on by Amy

One of the great things about being a sex writer is that our events always have great freebies, from sex toys to kink gear and beyond. Rouge Garments kindly provided various goodies for the recent Lube and A Laptop social, and I came home with this red leather flogger.

Rouge Garments Red Leather Flogger: Basics

This flogger is pretty hefty. End to end it’s about 71cm, of which 51cm is the falls and 20cm the handle. (On Rouge Garments’ site it lists the length of falls as 47cm, so mine may be a slightly over-long prototype.) It is made of real leather, so vegans may want to skip this one.

The Rouge Garments flogger retails for £36.99, which is a very reasonable price for a real leather product. It is available in black, purple, or pink as well as red leather.

Rouge Garments Flogger: Design

The design of this toy is fine, though it’s far from the prettiest flogger ever. My personal tastes in impact toys leans more towards leather falls with a wooden or metal handle, rather than all-over leather, but that’s a matter of preference.

The Rouge Garments red leather flogger seems fairly strong and durable, but my main design gripe (and it’s a pretty major one) is with the length of the falls. They’re not cut evenly and there is a disparity of more than an inch between the longest and shortest. This makes the product look somewhat cheaply made and slapdash. It also makes accuracy harder to attain, particularly for newer impact tops. I got it for free, but if I’d paid for it I would be pretty unhappy with it on this basis.

In Use

Like all longer floggers, the Rouge Garments red leather flogger takes some practice to wield effectively, It is pretty light for its size, though, which is a plus point. I could use it for quite a while without my arm getting tired, and I’m far from the strongest person around.

Mr C&K pointed out that, due to the handle not being smooth (the leather is effectively wrapped around in a spiral shape,) the ridges did start to hurt his hand after using the flogger for a little while.

From the receiving end, the Rouge Garments flogger has a decent thud/sting balance. The weight is just enough to give it a nice thud, while the thin falls follow that initial deep impact with a little bit of stingy bite.

I wouldn’t recommend it for anyone who wants either very hard thud or intense sting. However, it’s a passable option if you’re after something in the middle of the spectrum.

Verdict

This is an okay beginner flogger for people who are new to BDSM or anyone looking for something inexpensive. If you want beauty, craftsmanship, and something to last you a lifetime, though, I’d skip this one. Head over to a dedicated BDSM retailer or marketplace instead.

Thanks to Rouge Garments for providing these products in exchange for honest reviews. All opinions are, and will always be, my own. Affiliate link to buy this product from The Pleasure Garden send a small commission my way if you use them.