I’ve been testing sex toys and kink gear for a living for over nine years (!) at this point. That means I’ve tried a lot of stuff, from the run-of-the-mill to the “wait, what?” Even… More
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[Toy Review] We-Vibe Chorus Pro
When I learned that a new version of the We-Vibe Chorus was dropping, this time named the We-Vibe Chorus Pro, my first thought was “already!?” Surely it hasn’t been that long since the first iteration of the Chorus hit the market. However, apparently it’s been well over five years! Time is fake. That can mean only one thing: it’s time for a review of the newly released We-Vibe Chorus Pro.
What is the We-Vibe Chorus Pro?
The Pro is a new, updated version of the original We-Vibe Chorus. It’s the same basic design, and follows the theme of We-Vibe’s classic C-shaped “wear during intercourse” vibrators.
It’s designed to offer additional clitoral stimulation to the wearer during penetrative sex, while also stimulating the inside of their vagina and (if applicable) their partner’s penis with vibrations. It comes with a “Haptic Squeeze Remote” (more on that below) and can also be controlled via the We-Vibe app.
The Chorus Pro is made of body-safe silicone and available in 3 colourways: Cosmic Purple, Satin Black, and Electric Pink. Its internal arm measures ???
The Chorus Pro is rechargeable, with a 2 hour charge giving around 90 minutes of running time. Its sturdy black plastic storage case is also a USB charging case. It is also IPX7 waterproof, i.e. submersible. It’s unclear whether the remote is waterproof, though; the Chorus Original’s remote was only splashproof so the same may be true here.
Chorus vs Chorus Pro: What’s New?
The We-Vibe Chorus Pro offers many of the same features as the previous iteration of this product, including the adjustable hinged design, squeezable remote, app control options, and touch sensors on the main body of the toy. However, it also offers a number of upgrades. Most notably:
Three Motors and Fusion Wave Stimulation
While the original Chorus had two motors, the Chorus Pro has three. There are two motors in the external clitoral stimulator, and one in the insertable arm. This enables something We-Vibe calls “Fusion Wave Technology”, which sounds like something out of Star Trek but actually seems to just mean that the two clitoral motor synchronise to offer rhythmic, rolling and flowing “wave-like” vibrations.
“Haptic Squeeze” Remote
Though the original Chorus had a squeeze-sensitive remote, the Chorus Pro has had a significant upgrade in this regard. The word “haptic” just means something relating to the sense of touch. The new Chorus remote is designed to adjust vibration strength with the intensity of the squeeze, with the remote vibrating at the same strength as the toy to provide immediate feedback to the person holding it.
Is this a good thing? Debatable. We’ll get into this in more detail shortly.
We-Vibe Chorus Pro Review: Pros
Something I appreciate about We-Vibe is that, unlike some toy manufacturers, they don’t constantly churn out new products at an alarmingly fast rate. Instead, they seem to take their time and put real thought into their designs. As a result, the We-Vibe Chorus Pro has a lot to recommend it.
Let’s get into what I like about this product.
- It’s so pretty! The material sort of shimmers.
- The hinged design allows you to adjust the fit according to your body.
- The charging case is convenient for both travel and storage. For an ADHDer like me, it also makes me less likely to lose either the toy or the remote.
- With 7 classic We-Vibe patterns and 3 new “Fusion Wave” patterns built in, as well as constant vibrations and the ability to change the intensity level of any pattern using the remote, the user experience is pretty versatile even before you get the app involved.
- The remote is highly responsive, both in squeeze mode and when just using the buttons.
- The squishy design also makes the motor super comfortable to hold and use.
- I love the texturing on the underside of the external arm. It’s pretty subtle but it adds a little extra stimulation. I can’t personally feel the texturing on the internal arm when I’m wearing it, but other users’ experience may differ.
- The addition of a third motor really does make a difference in use. While I think calling it “Fusion Wave” is a stretch, the synchronised external motors deliver more intense clitoral and all-over vulva stimulation than a single motor can manage on its own.
- The motors! We-Vibe always uses excellent strong and rumbly motors in its toys, and this one is no exception.
Cons
There are also a few things about the We-Vibe Chorus Pro I found frustrating. Namely:
- While the original Chorus had two adjustable hinges for a better fit, the Chorus Pro appears to only have one. It’s a shame to lose the extra adjustability the additional hinge offered.
- There doesn’t seem to be a way to control the motors separately using the toy itself or the remote. If you want to do this, you’ll need the app. As someone who doesn’t like internal vibrations, this is a pretty big downside for me personally.
- The insertable section isn’t long enough (or curved enough) to get anywhere near my G-spot. Instead of providing additional pleasure, it just sort of sits there as an anchor to hold the toy in place (sort of; see below.)
- Overall, as in the original We-Vibe Chorus, I found the “Touch Sense” modes too unpredictable and unreliable to be pleasurable. It’s an interesting concept, but the reality is mostly just annoying.
- I wish there were better controls on the toy itself. The single button interface is very limiting and basically means this toy is only worthwhile with either the remote or the app.
- Like virtually all toys of this type, it doesn’t really stay in place without a helping hand unless you’re staying very still (and sometimes not even then.) If you’re moving or doing any kind of thrusting, you pretty much have to hold it in position with your hand to stop it slipping around all over the place.
Other Things to Be Aware Of
I have really mixed feelings about the haptic feedback of the squeeze remote. On the one hand, having the feedback could be useful if you’re using the toy on a partner and want to get a sense of the intensity of the stimulation for them. On the other hand, having your hand repeatedly vibrated is really annoying and uncomfortable. Ultimately, each user will need to decide if this bothers them (and, if it does, if they like the feature enough to put up with it.)
I also find that, the longer I do this job, the less I care about a toy’s app features. I can count on one hand the times I’ve used an app to control a toy outside of an “I’m testing this product so I can review it” session. I don’t really want to be on my phone when I’m trying to masturbate or have sex, I don’t use toys in public because they’re nowhere near as discreet as some people seem to think they are, and I’ve found ways to have long-distance sex that work better for me personally.
That said, We-Vibe’s app is one of the better options for app-controlled toys out there, and it offers a number of intriguing additional options including:
- Handing control over to a partner anywhere in the world with an internet connection
- Chatting and video-calling with a partner while they control the toy
- As mentioned above, controlling the motors separately
- Activating the three available “Touch Sense” modes
- More finely controlling the intensity of the vibrations
- Touch mode, in which you can control the toy with the swipe of a finger
- Creating your own vibration patterns
- Creating “playlists” of your favourite patterns
We-Vibe Chorus Pro Review: Verdict
Overall, I think the We-Vibe Chorus Pro is an excellent product. It improves on the original in a couple of fun ways, while maintaining We-Vibe’s reputation for good motors and thoughtful design. Despite a few frustrations, I’m still happy to recommend it.
The Chorus Pro retails for £189/$229 and is available from Lovehoney UK, Lovehoney US, Shevibe, Good Vibes, Babeland, or directly from We-Vibe Europe and North America.
I received the We-Vibe Chorus Pro in exchange for an honest review. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views, as always, are mine.
[Toy Review] UEROS Remote Control Wearable Vibrator with Detachable Egg Set
Following my UEROS sex machine review a while back, I received another UEROS product to try. This time, we’re looking at the wearable vibe set, or the “UEROS Remote Control Wearable Vibrator with Detachable Egg Set,” to give it its full name.
What is the UEROS Wearable Vibe Set?
At first glance, the UEROS wearable vibrator set is an interesting concept. It contains four main pieces:
- A thin, vaguely saddle-shaped vibrator that sits against the pubis with a protruding clitoral stimulator
- A detachable egg vibrator that fits inside the vagina
- A harness/crotchless panty thing with straps to hold the vibrator against the body
- A remote control
The main intended use for the UEROS vibe set is for it to be wearable during (penetrative) partnered sex. In case you’re struggling to visualise how it’s intended to work, here’s a handy diagram provided by UEROS:
The vibrator and egg are made of body-safe silicone (with plastic accents on the former.) The harness is made of polyester and spandex.
This USB rechargeable toy offers 1 hour of runtime for a 2 hour charge. It is also IPX6 waterproof, i.e. splashproof but not submersible.
UEROS Wearable Vibe Set: The Good
Let’s start with the positive things I can say about this product.
First, I do think the concept is neat. It’s kind of a combination of insertable wearable vibrators (such as the various iterations of We-Vibe’s classic shape) and those “vibrating knickers” that are still inexplicably a thing even though they almost universally suck.
The slim design is thoughtful and means the toy is less obtrusive and “in the way” if you’re using it during partnered sex. Design-wise, I also like the long tail on the egg. This sidesteps the issue of dual-stimulation toys often being designed for one specific type of genitals, making it more likely to fit comfortably with a range of bodies.
The detachable design of the egg vibrator makes this a more versatile product. You could also use the egg on its own as a non-vibrating, leave-in toy, if you like.
The six straps on the harness/panties hold the vibrator in place very well. Unlikely many “wear during intercourse” toys, it stays securely in position. A rare instance of a supposedly hands-free toy that’s actually suitable for hands-free use.
I like that, when you’re using the external vibrator and the egg together, you can control them completely separately. There’s one button for each part on both the main toy and the remote control. Each has five settings: three constant speeds and two patterns.
The silicone is soft and silky. Aesthetically, it’s also kind of fun. The metallic accents give the whole thing a vaguely sci-fi/techno feel.
UEROS Wearable Vibe Set: The Bad
Buckle in, because once I started actually trying this product, things went sideways fast.
The placement of the buttons on the top side of the toy seems fine initially, but quickly reveals a significant problem. If you’re having penetrative sex in a face-to-face position such as missionary, the chances of the toy getting smushed between bodies and accidentally turned off are very high.
I also want to know why the clitoral stimulator is squishy. This makes the already-poor vibration transmission even worse and makes it hard to get any significant, consistent pressure.
My biggest complaint about this toy, though? The sizing of the included harness/panty, without which the main function of the toy is unusable. UEROS claims this item is size inclusive, which is laughably untrue. It is adjustable, but only accommodates waist sizes of ~28″ to ~38″. Apparently it was “rigorously tested on diverse body types”, which means on women (presumably cis) between 5’3″ and 5’8″ and between 60 and 70kg. That’s not a diverse range of body types. That’s a difference of maybe two or three dress sizes, if that.
If you’re going to design a toy that’s exclusively for thin people… well, first of all, don’t. But if you must, at least be honest about it. Claiming a demonstrably exclusionary product is size-inclusive doesn’t make it so.
Finally, the UEROS wearable vibe’s vibrations are nothing short of useless. They’re as weak and buzzy as they come. There is zero possibility of this toy ever giving me an orgasm, in any configuration. And believe me, I’ve tried.
Verdict
This is a product that is significantly better in theory than in practice. I don’t know if corners were cut to bring it to market faster or if it just wasn’t tested sufficiently, but there’s so much wrong with the execution of what is objectively a good idea.
The UEROS wearable vibe set could have been a great product. Unfortunately, in its current state, it just isn’t.
Thanks to UEROS for sending me this product to review. All views are, as always, mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.
[Toy Review] Womanizer Enhance
Something that bugs me more than it probably should? When people refer to toys that don’t vibrate as “vibrators.” This term is often erroneously applied to clitoral suction toys, which stimulate the clitoris via air pulses instead of traditional vibrations. However, what if a clitoral suction toy was also a vibrator? That’s the basic premise of the Womanizer Enhance, which I recently received to review.
Womanizer Enhance: Details
The concept of combining clitoral suction with vibrations has been done before. One of the earliest iterations was the surprisingly-good-in-its-day (and now defunct) Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration. However—spoiler alert for the rest of this review!—I think the Womanizer Enhance is probably the best iteration of this concept I’ve seen so far.
The Womanizer Enhance is a clitoral suction toy in the classic tapering Womanizer shape similar to products such as the Classic, Premium, and Next. However, this one has two important differences:
- There’s no removable nozzle; it’s all one unit
- The toy offers not only suction-based stimulation, but vibrations as well
The Womanizer Enhance is available in three colours: black, pink, and lilac (my personal favourite.) It is made of body-safe silicone with a plastic base. It’s USB rechargeable, taking around 90 minutes to charge and offering up to 2 hours of runtime depending on intensity. The Enhance is also IPX7 waterproof, allowing for full submersion.
Womanizer Enhance Review: Greater Than the Sum of Its Parts
Womanizer claims that “100% of testers had an orgasm!” which, I admit, made me roll my eyes a bit. It’s not quite one of those “orgasm guaranteed!” claims that make me want to scream, but it’s at least skirting around the edges of being one.
However, I’ll give them this: the Womanizer Enhance really is an excellent product.
It offers 10 vibration speeds, 10 suction intensity levels, and 10 vibration patterns. This means that, all-in, there are over 1000 possible combinations to play with. Of course, if you’re anything like me, you’ll find one to maybe five settings you like and stick with those. But, given the versatility, there’s a decent chance of finding at least a few that hit the spot for you.
Suction-wise, the Womanizer Enhance is pretty similar to the many other clitoral suction toys in the Womanizer range. The 10 speeds are well graded, offering a noticeable but not too extreme jump between settings as you move up through them. The suction sensation is intense, yet also smooth and sensual.
In terms of vibrations, I was pleasantly surprised to find them far more rumbly than I was expecting. They’re not the strongest, even at the highest levels, but they’re still pretty good. Overall, though, the beauty of this toy is that it’s greater than the sum of its parts. The suction is good, the vibrations are fine, but together is where the magic really happens.
Compared to other suction-only toys, I felt as though the orgasm from this one encompassed my whole vulva rather than being concentrated in my clitoris.
Other Things I Liked Include:
- The five button interface makes the toy easy and intuitive to use. There are two buttons to control the vibrations, two to control the suction, and one to change the pattern. Simple to learn, relatively easy to use by feel, and sensibly positioned on the back of the toy’s handle.
- The ability to control the suction and vibrations completely separately means that no matter what combination of stimulation you’re in the mood for, you can fine-tune your experience accordingly.
- It fits comfortably in my hand, with the tapered handle providing ergonomic comfort in use.
Any Downsides?
On my first try with the Womanizer Enhance, I found the positioning slightly awkward. Due to the nozzle being integrated with the main body of the toy, it doesn’t stick out as far from the body as the nozzles on other, similar products. This made it a little challenging to find a position that was both effective and comfortable to hold for a while.
The above positioning issue also makes it challenging to use a penetrative toy such as a dildo at the same time. Not impossible, but… logistically complex. Something to bear in mind if you prefer to use multiple toys together.
Another reason I don’t love the lack of a removable nozzle is that it makes both cleaning the toy and sharing it with a partner more of a faff.
The Womanizer Enhance can also be pretty loud at the higher levels, particularly if you have the suction and vibrations going at the same time.
Womanizer Enhance: Verdict
Whether the Enhance is the best Womanizer product yet will be a matter of opinion and personal preference. But for me at least, it’s definitely in the top five and possibly the top three. Yes, the vibrations really do enhance (see what I did there?) the experience that much.
I love this toy.
The Womanizer Enhance retails for around £149/$169 and is available from retailers including Lovehoney UK, Lovehoney US, Shevibe, Good Vibes, Babeland, and of course Womanizer themselves.
I received this product in exchange for an honest review. All writing and views are my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.
[Toy Review] Mr Hankey’s Toys Big Pop
Something regular readers will know about me is that I like my toys bright, colourful, sparkly, in unusual aesthetics, and girly as hell. This is one reason I don’t often gravitate towards strictly realistic dildos. However, one of the things I love about Mr Hankey’s Toys is that all their various designs, from the realistic to the fantastical, can be customised from a range of 24 colours. You’ll understand, then, why I felt compelled to request the Big Pop giant realistic dildo in the brightest shade of pink they have.
What is the Mr Hankey’s Toys Big Pop?
The Big Pop by Mr Hankey’s Toys is a realistic dildo available in four giant sizes. Even the size Small measures 10″ in total length and 2.2″ in diameter at the widest point. The largest size, the 4XL, is 17.25″ in length and 4.29″ in diameter at the widest point. I requested the second size up, which is 12″ in length and has a head diameter of 2.86″.
The Big Pop is available in four firmness levels. I requested the 75% soft, the second softest option, to offset the sheer size of the thing! If you prefer greater intensity, select the medium firm or extra firm density. If you want to ease into using oversized toys more gently, consider one of the two softer options. Extras such as a metallic effect and vac-u-lock hole for use with a fucking machine are also available.
The design of the Big Pop is based on a circumcised penis with an ultra-pronounced head. The name comes from the “popping” feeling that you can get when you thrust with a toy of this shape. It also has a skin-like textured shaft, lifelike ridge, realistic balls, and a gentle curve.
Like all Mr Hankey’s Toys, this dildo is made of body-safe silicone.
Big Pop Giant Realistic Dildo In Use: What I Like About This Toy
Again, I think one of the biggest selling points of Mr Hankey’s Toys is the customisation options they offer. Flesh-coloured realistic dildos aren’t really my jam, but this one makes me smile every time I look at it. It’s such a brilliant and ridiculous shade of bubblegum pink juxtaposed with the realistic design.
The first thing to know about the Big Pop is that it really is absolutely fucking huge. Seriously, look at the specs and visualise what 10″ or 12″ or 17″ actually looks like before you buy. Over the years I’ve been doing this work, I’ve been asked about giant realistic dildos in body-safe materials more times than I can count. For that reason alone I’m glad this toy and Hankey’s range of other realistic dildos exist.
As always, Mr Hankey’s Toys’ attention to detail is excellent. From the skin texturing and veins to the lifelike balls, it’s clear care has been taken to make this dildo as realistic as possible.
This toy really is about the head. Its size, shape, realistic detail, and pronounced design are what most users will buy this dildo for. If you want a dildo that offers a feeling of fullness alongside some seriously intense and targeted G-spot or prostate stimulation, the Big Pop is the one for you.
This is also clearly a dildo made with thrusting in mind (though, as we’ll see in the next section, this isn’t the only way to enjoy it.) As it slides in and out, the ridge of the head stimulates the sensitive nerve-endings around the vaginal or anal opening.
The 75% soft was the perfect density choice for this toy, in my view. It’s not so soft that the dildo becomes difficult to insert, but it’s soft enough to dial down the intensity a little.
Though it’s a pretty long toy, particular at the larger sizes, the Big Pop giant realistic dildo is a dream toy for serious girth lovers. You don’t need to use the entire shaft if you don’t want to; in fact, you could literally just use the head and the first inch or two if that’s what works best for you. For those who enjoy girthy insertables and a feeling of stretch, the Big Pop allows you to explore this with either deep or shallow penetration.
Things to Be Aware Of
As with any very large toy, this is not a “slip it in and get off quickly” dildo. Using a toy of this size requires preparation, warm-up, patience, and even more lube than you think you’ll need. All of this applies doubly if you’re considering using this toy anally. Don’t put pressure on yourself to take the entire thing side you, now or ever. Listen to your body, do what feels good, and stop straight away if anything hurts.
The key selling point of the Big Pop realistic dildo is that ultra-pronounced giant head. However, some people may find this uncomfortable, particularly if you’ve been used to smoother toys. Again, take your time. If you find thrusting with this toy painful or uncomfortable, try gently wiggling it, rotating it, or even just putting it in and then keeping it still. Many people find consistent pressure against their G-spot or prostate more pleasurable than repeated pounding.
Due to the size and slight curve, this toy also isn’t great for hands-free use. Its weight and top-heavy design means it’s hard to get it to stand up reliably on its own. This isn’t an issue for me as I don’t tend to use toys that way. But if you like to ride your toys in a hands-free position it’s something to be aware of.
Mr Hankey’s Toys Big Pop Giant Realistic Dildo: Verdict
Far from being yet another generic realistic dildo, the Mr Hankey’s Big Pop is clear about the need it’s filling and does so damn well. For people who want an oversized toy that offers intense stimulation to both the sensitive vaginal/anal opening and the G-spot/prostate, it’s an ideal option. The detailing and customisation options elevate it to a premium product that’s worth the price.
The Big Pop dildo retails at prices starting from $129.95 for the smallest size. Larger sizes are of course more expensive, and customisations and add-ons also affect the final price.
Thanks to Mr Hankey’s Toys for sponsoring this review. All views and writing are, as always, my own.
Why Do People Like Ultra Realistic Dildos? (And 4 Fun Ways to Play With Them)
In the years (9 of them! Happy anniversary, C&K!) that I’ve been writing about sex and reviewing sex toys, I’ve learned a lot about both my own preferences and those of others. When it comes to dildos, the ones I most gravitate towards tend to be colourful, sparkly, or otherwise non-realistic. However, the good folks at Epic Dildos invited me to write about ultra realistic dildos for them, so I’ve been taking some time to think about why so many people enjoy these toys and some of the fun ways to use them.
Using Ultra Realistic Dildos to Achieve a Lifelike Sensation
I do not believe that sex toys are, or ever can be, replacements for human partners. The term “battery-operated boyfriend” can get in the bin. And let’s not even talk about those vibrators with faces and personalities that the incredible Epiphora reviewed all the way back in 2015.
So no, a dildo cannot replace a penis-owning human. However, if you want to enjoy the feeling of having sex with a person with a bio-cock and don’t have a suitable partner available (or are just in the mood for some solo sex), a realistic dildo is a great option. It’s not entirely identical, of course, but a good realistic toy can be damn close in terms of physical sensation.
Dual-density materials such as the Flexiskin™ liquid silicone Epic Dildos uses for their hyper realistic range combine a soft, malleable outer layer with a firm inner core to mimic an erect penis.
Fulfilling Fantasies with Ultra Realistic Dildos
Like all sex toys, dildos can be enjoyed as much alone or with a partner. One of the most surprisingly common uses I hear about for ultra realistic dildos? Fulfilling threesome or group sex fantasies.
Threesomes are consistently cited in various surveys and studies as one of the most common sexual fantasies. However, choosing to have one in real life is a big decision and not to be taken lightly. When done right, they can be amazing. However, if they’re done badly, they’re also ripe for coercion (if one party in a relationship is less keen than the other), can spike jealousy and insecurity, and can damage or destroy relationships.
If you fantasise about threesomes or group sex but aren’t sure if you’d want to do it for real, using an ultra realistic dildo can allow you and your partner to bring the fantasy to life without the risk. You won’t get the emotional or psychological impact of having a third person involved, but you can simulate some of the physical sensations, do some amazing dirty talk, and spin a scene or story together using toys.
Enjoying Dicks of Different Shapes and Sizes
If you’re monogamous, prefer to have sex with only a single partner at a time, or don’t want to have any sexual partners (at the moment or ever), ultra realistic dildos offer a fun and safe way to enjoy sexual variety. Just as all human cocks are different, so are all the varieties of realistic dildos on the market.
Want to experience bigger or smaller, curved or straight, semi-soft or ultra-firm? The amazing range of realistic dildos out there has got you covered. As a bonus, some offer additional features you can’t get with a bio-cock, such as vibrations.
Ultra Realistic Dildos as a Gender-Affirming Choice
My girlfriend Em and I have started referring to my choice of dildos as “gender-affirming.” I’m a femme who is also primarily submissive, and choosing toys that feel like “me” has felt increasingly important as I explore my role as a strap-on top.
Just as sparkly, colourful dildos feel gender-affirming for me, ultra realistic dildos can feel the same way for other folks. Trans men, transmasculine people, and cis men who use dildos or strap-ons are just some of the people who might find that an ultra realistic dildo aligns best with their gender identity and presentation.
Practicing Sexual Skills
None of us get into our first sexual relationship magically knowing how to have good sex. And none of us get into any sexual relationship magically knowing how to have good sex with that person specifically. Sex is a set of skills, from the interpersonal (communicating your desires, paying attention to verbal and non-verbal cues) to the physical. These skills can be learned, honed, and relearned throughout your sexual life.
If you want to learn or practice a specific sexual skill, from giving a certain type of blowjob your partner loves to riding a dick in a particular position, using a realistic dildo is one great and low-pressure way to do that.
4 Ways to Play with Ultra Realistic Dildos
Whether you’ve just got your first realistic dildo or are an aficionado looking for new ways to play, here are a few suggestions you might not have thought about.
Strap It On
Strap-on sex is most often associated with lesbian and sapphic sex, but anyone can enjoy it. For strap-on sex, look for dildos with a base that’s wide but not too deep. Think flat base or suction cup dildos rather than those with balls.
Go Hands-Free
Some ultra realistic dildos come with suction cups, allowing you to affix them to a wall, floor, or other flat surface. This gives you an opportunity to play hands-free, using your hands to do other things to your or your partner’s body.
Pair Your Dildo with Another Toy
Use your dildo internally while you (or your partner) hold a bullet vibrator against your clitoris. Hold a wand vibrator against the base of your dildo for deep, internal rumbles, Insert your dildo anally (if it has a flared base) then use a stroker to stimulate your penis. Get creative and try out different combinations.
Put On a Show
If you enjoy exhibitionism and voyeurism, putting on a sexy show for your partner can be a hot shared experience. Invite them to watch while you touch, tease, or fuck yourself with your toy. Whether you ultimately let them join in or just drive them wild with the visuals? That’s up to you.
Thanks to Epic Dildos for sponsoring this post! All views and writing, as always, are mine.
What is a Day Collar, Why Might You Wear One, and Where Can You Get One?
In a kinky or BDSM relationship, collars can have all kinds of meanings. They can be akin to an engagement or wedding ring, a symbol of commitment, a signal to other members of the BDSM community, or simply a tool or fashion accessory. However, traditional collars also tend to be quite… well, obvious. If you want to wear a reminder of your kinky relationship without alerting the whole world, a day collar might be the answer. But what is a day collar, what do they mean, and where can you get one?
What is a Day Collar?
In short, a day collar is a collar that can be worn discreetly in settings where a traditional BDSM collar wouldn’t be appropriate, from the workplace to Christmas dinner with the extended family.
Day collars vary significantly in terms of how “obvious” or subtle they are. O rings, triskelions, heart motifs, and the eternity symbol are popular choices you might see. Some might have words or symbols engraved. Others are completely indistinguishable from ordinary jewellery.
Day collars can be worn in addition to or instead of a more traditional BDSM collar.
Creative Day Collar Ideas: When a Collar Isn’t a Collar
While necklaces and items worn around the neck are most traditional, your day collar needn’t be a collar or piece of neckwear at all. In a past D/s relationship, mine was a bracelet. I’ve know people who have rings, anklets, wrist cuffs, watches, items of clothing or underwear, or even “tokens” that they carry with them rather than wear.
Remember: there are no rules to any of this. What matters is that you choose something that feels personal to you, appropriate for your relationship, and practical for your lifestyle.
To Lock or Not to Lock?
Something that appeals to a lot of kinksters about collars is the idea of something that the submissive cannot remove by themself. There are countless lockable day collars on the market. Having your partner lock your collar around your neck (or wrist, or ankle) and not being able to remove it can feen sensual, sexy, and deeply intimate. This option won’t be practical for everyone, and you may want to skip a lockable collar if you regularly need to take all your jewellery off (if you work in medicine, for example, or have to go through airport security regularly.)
A quick word of caution: if you choose a locking collar, always make sure the wearer has access to a spare key in case of emergencies.
Negotiating What Your Day Collar Means
In BDSM as in any relationship, things tend to get messy when people don’t communicate clearly. If you’re thinking of introducing any kind of collar to your relationship, have a frank and open conversation with your partner about what it means.
Do you agree on what it symbolises, what (if any) rules and expectations are in place when it’s being worn, and any rules or protocols around when it may or may not be removed?
Regardless of whether you’re dominant, submissive, or switchy in your kinky relationship, I never recommend springing a collar on someone. People have very different ideas about what they do and don’t mean. Instead, bring up the subject of collaring in a low-pressure way and talk about what it means to you. If you and your partner agree that you want to introduce a collar and have established some guidelines on its meaning and role in your relationship, go shopping together for something you’ll both love.
Think & Kink: Purveyors of Beautiful and Unique BDSM Jewellery
I’ve recently partnered with Think & Kink, a provider of gorgeous and unique day collars, BDSM jewellery, and other kinky accessories. They offer chokers, necklaces, lockable day collars, bracelets, anklets, rings, and more. Many of their items are also engraveable, so you can get them customised with your pet name, term of endearment, collaring date, or any other message that is meaningful to you.
Think & Kink allowed me to choose any piece from the site, and after a lot of deliberation I chose this dual heart mixed metals choker. This one called to me for a couple of reasons. First, hearts play a pretty key role in my personal style (#lovecore amirite?). I just love them. Secondly, as a polyamorous submissive with two loves and two dominants, the dual-heart design really spoke to me and seemed like a sweet way to honour both my relationships in my subtly kinky accessories.
They were also kind enough to send me a piece to gift to one lucky reader, so keep your eyes open for how to enter the giveaway – details coming soon!
This post was brought to you in collaboration with Think & Kink. Affiliate links appear in this post and you can get 15% off any order with code AMY15 at checkout. All images by Think & Kink.
[Toy Review] Chalovelo Thrum Triple Stimulation Rabbit Vibrator
Did you know that the first rabbit vibrator hit the shelves way back in 1984? Designed by Vibratex (of Magic Wand fame), it was called the “Rabbit Pearl” and featured rotating beads inside the shaft for added stimulation. Those of you who are my age or older might remember when a 1998 episode of Sex and the City, titled “The Turtle and the Hare,” featured that very same toy. While that episode did not age well (the concept of “vibrator addiction” needs to die), it cemented the rabbit vibrator’s enduring popularity. Why am I banging on about this now? Well, because I recently received the Chalovelo Thrum, a modern triple stimulation vibrator that returns to that classic “beads in the shaft” rabbit design of old.
Chalovelo Thrum Triple Stimulation Rabbit Vibrator
The Chalovelo Thrum is a rabbit vibrator measuring 9.7″ in length and 1.3″ in diameter at the widest insertable point. Its design is the classic rabbit shape, with a rigid insertable shaft with a slightly bulbous head, and a flexible clitoral stimulator. At the end of the clitoral stimulator there’s a little ball and, as previously mentioned, the shaft contains a series of rotating beads.
The internal stimulator wiggles back and forth in a “come hither” motion, the beads expand and contract, and the clitoral stimulator vibrates.
The Thrum is a triple stimulation vibrator designed to stimulate the G-spot, clitoris, and A-spot simultaneously. For those who aren’t aware, the A-spot refers to the anterior fornix, an erogenous zone located deep inside the vagina close to the cervix. I’ll be honest, I’m not really a deep penetration gal and I prefer things to stay far away from my cervix. However, some people find this area intensely pleasurable to stimulate. To learn more about the often-overlooked A-spot, check out this informative piece by Kate Sloan.
The Chalovelo Thrum is made of body-safe pale pink silicone. It is rechargeable via the included magnetic cable, and IPX-6 water resistant (non-submersible.) It comes with a 5 year manufacturer’s warranty.
Chalovelo Thrum: Pros
Let’s start by looking at the things I liked about the Chalovelo Thrum triple stimulation rabbit vibrator.
I like the curved tip of the insertable shaft, which allows for targeted G-spot (or A-spot, if that’s your thing) stimulation. Those who prefer a more rigid toy will enjoy the firmness of the Thrum’s shaft. The come-hither motion of the internal stimulator is also excellent. Its short, rapid movements mimic the sensation of fingers against the G-spot.
I surprised myself with how much I enjoyed the feel of the beads in the shaft. This design seems to have fallen out of fashion in recent years and I’ve never actually tried a beaded rabbit before. I thought the sensation might be uncomfortable but, with some warmup and plenty of lube, it was surprisingly pleasurable. When I inserted the toy only part-way, I particularly enjoyed the feeling of the beads around my sensitive vaginal opening.
The design of the clitoral stimulator is interesting. Though it lacks a lot in practice (see below), I like the idea of the ball tip.
I like that you can control the settings of each of the two arms independently. The two-button interface is quick to learn and simple to use. The handle sits comfortably in my hand and the buttons are intuitively placed for quick settings changes during use without losing your flow.
Chalovelo Thrum: Cons
My main complaint about the Chalovelo Thrum is a complaint I’ve made about so, so many double and triple stimulation vibrators over the years: it treats the clitoris as an afterthought.
Though I like the ball tip design of the clitoral stimulator, that’s about the only thing I like about it. This external shaft and the ball are both far too flexible. This makes it impossible to get any significant pressure, and as soon as I move the toy (or move against it), it just loses contact with my clit. The motor’s power isn’t bad, but it is extremely buzzy.
I thought it was a well-known fact by now that clitoral stimulation is essential for the vast majority of people with vulvas to reach orgasm. In a double or triple stimulation vibrator, the clit should be the main event, not a poorly-conceived add-on.
I also found the single-directional controls frustrating and, though the separate settings controls are good, I would have liked the option to have one motor switched on and the other completely off.
Finally, as with virtually all thrusting or “come hither” toys, the noise is enraging. It makes a sort of high-pitched squeak that is incredibly distracting and uncomfortable to a sound-sensitive person like me. I can’t really blame Chalovelo for this, to be fair – again, virtually all toys of this type make this sound and I think it’s unavoidable – but it still detracts from the overall user experience.
Thrum Triple Stimulation Rabbit Vibrator: Verdict
There are aspects of the Thrum triple stimulation rabbit vibrator that I really like, and aspects that I find incredibly frustrating. The internal stimulation portion of this toy, with its come-hither motion, rotating beads, and firm yet slightly curved shaft, is excellent. However, the clitoral stimulator is really quite shockingly poor by comparison, which left me feeling “blah” about the whole experience.
If there was a new version of this toy with a more rumbly external motor and a more thoughtfully designed external shaft that wouldn’t slide off my clit every three seconds? I’d be interested.
The Chalovelo Thrum triple stimulation rabbit vibrator retails for $39.90 directly from the manufacturer.
Thanks to Chalovelo for sponsoring this review and sending me the Thrum triple stimulation vibrator to try out. All writing and views are mine.
Travel Friendly Sex Toys: Saving Space, Taking Your Toys Through Airport Security, and More
As the holidays approach, so does a season of travel for many of us. Whether you’re travelling solo or with your partner or partners, you might want to take some of your sex toys or kink gear along. From wondering whether you can bring adult toys on a plane to dealing with space constrictions, travelling with sex toys takes a little knowledge and planning. Here’s how to do it.
Can You Bring Adult Toys on a Plane?
Yep!
Well, yes with some simple caveats. As a general rule, though, bringing adult toys on a plane is safe, legal, and straightforward.
Additional bag screening at security is many people’s idea of a personal hell if they travel with sex toys. If you’re not prepared to take this risk, you’ll need to keep your toys in your checked bag. However, I’ve had this happen many times at this point (long-distance relationship life amirite?) and the worst that ever happens is that it makes me blush. I’ve never had a security person make a comment on my toys or take them out in view of other passengers.
Airport personnel don’t care what you’re planning to get up to at your destination as long as you’re not a safety or security risk. They’re professionals just trying to do their job, and they’ve seen it all before. Yours probably isn’t even the first vibrator they’ve seen today. I cannot stress this enough: they don’t care.
What you don’t want to do is try to take anything on the plane that could be perceived as a weapon. That hunk of stainless steel the size of your forearm? Leave it at home. You know it’s a dildo, they know it’s a dildo, but they’re probably still not letting it on the plane. As a general precaution, I’d skip metal and glass toys for air travel and stick to plastic or silicone.
Remember that, infuriatingly, some countries and jurisdictions have strict laws against even possessing sex toys. If you have to travel to one of those regions, leave your toys at home. The consequences could be far worse than just losing your favourite vibrator.
Remember that, if your toys have batteries, they must go in your carry-on as batteries are prohibited in the luggage hold.
What About BDSM Gear?
This gets a little trickier.
Some BDSM gear will probably be fine in your hand luggage. Leather cuffs, blindfolds, collars, solid wax candles and so on are unlikely to cause a problem. Some pervertables, such as clothes pegs and wooden spoons, also look completely innocent, so they shouldn’t cause any problems.
As with sex toys, anything that could be perceived as a weapon cannot travel in hand luggage. Paddles, floggers, whips and so on should all be checked. Rope might get past security and it might not. According to forums for climbers (the other people, apart from kinksters, who tend to travel with ropes), some said their ropes got taken away while others were allowed to keep their items.
Anything you wouldn’t want to lose, put it in your checked bag. If you’re taking anything sharp, like needles, be very cautious. Always check local laws and airline rules before travelling with them, even in your checked bag.
And, again, understand the laws and customs of where you’re travelling to and from. You don’t want to run afoul of a law prohibiting the possession of certain items.
How Can I Make Sure My Sex Toys Won’t Turn On While Traveling?
Many sex toys have a travel lock. This allows you to “lock” the motor, preventing it from turning on accidentally. Check the instruction manual or manufacturer’s product page of your favourite toy to find out whether it has one.
Another great option is to choose toys that come in a case. This dramatically reduces the chances of them getting switched on accidentally in transit, especially if you opt for a toy with a hard case like the Woo More Play I Cum First clitoral vibrator and travel case.
Space-Saving Travel Hacks for Sex Toys and BDSM Gear
Space tends to be at a premium when travelling. Here are a few ways you can maximize space and still take your favourite items along.
- Prioritise small and compact toys. Bullet vibrators, pebble vibrators, and finger vibrators are an ideal choice here.
- Take multi-purpose toys. A vibrating dildo that can double as a clitoral vibrator, a vaginal toy that’s also anal-safe, or a toy you and your partner both enjoy using? All great space-efficient travel sex toys.
- Repurpose travel essentials for kinky purposes. That sleep mask could easily double as a blindfold.
- Think very carefully about what you want to take, and prioritize accordingly. Consider what’s non-negotiable vs. what’s a nice-to-have if you have the space.
- A bonus tip for those who travel a lot for long-distance relationships: consider getting duplicates of your favourite toys and keeping one set in each place. Trust me, it’s worth the investment.
Don’t Forget About Lube
Wait, can I bring lube on a plane? Yes you can!
Lube is a non-negotiable for me when it comes to safer and more pleasurable sex. However, remember that lube is a liquid according to air travel regulations. This means you’ll likely be subject to strict limits on how much you can take. Some airports limit passengers to 100ml liquid maximum per container, while others allow amounts as high as two litres. Check before you fly. If in doubt, stick to lube containers under 100ml.
Large bottles of lube can be heavy. I recommend either individual sachets or small bottles of lube. I always put mine in a little plastic bag to protect my clothes and other items in case of a lube leakage. Choose lube that’s compatible with your sex toys; if in doubt, water-based lube is a versatile option for travel.
Thanks to Woo More Play for sponsoring this post! All writing and views, as always, are mine.
[Toy Review] Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo
Hot Octopuss made some serious waves with the Pulse, the company’s first product and a precursor to the Pulse Duo, back in 2013. I received the company’s latest product, the new and improved Pulse Duo, and Mr C&K was kind enough to test it out so I could review it.
What is the Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo?
The new and redesigned Pulse Duo is the latest iteration of the Pulse penis vibrator, and this time it’s specifically designed with use by couples in mind. It looks like this:
Based on medical technology designed to help people with spinal cord injuries and similar disabilities to ejaculate for the purposes of taking part in IVF, Pulse toys utilise an oscillating mechanism (known as “PulsePlate”™) to stimulate the penis. As a sex toy, their unique selling point is that the user doesn’t need to have an erection in order to use them.
The Pulse Duo is made of body-safe silicone in a blue-grey colour. It is rechargeable via the included magnetic USB cable. It also comes with a battery-operated remote control and a branded drawstring storage bag.
The toy is waterproof, but the remote control is not.
The user inserts their penis between the flexible silicone “wings”. The plate then stimulates them by rapidly oscillating back and forth. Pro tip: experiment with which way around, and how far along your shaft, you position the toy. The Pulse Duo is designed to stimulate the frenulum (the V-shaped spot that connects the foreskin to the head of the penis), but every penis and every person’s preferences are different, so figure out what feels best for you.
The Pulse Duo is also designed to stimulate a person with a vulva. The suggested use is for the penis-owning person to wear the toy with the top side facing up, and for their vulva-owning partner to straddle them with the toy pressing against their vulva, allowing them to feel its vibrations:
Though the Hot Octopuss Pulse range was inspired by medical technology for people who can’t get an erection or enjoy penetrative sex, anyone with a penis can enjoy this product.
Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo Review: Pros
One of my favourite things about the Pulse Duo is that it centres a hugely underrated sex act: grinding. Many people with a vulva masturbate by grinding against things. There’s now a booming market for clitoral grinders in numerous different designs. Using the Pulse Duo with a partner offers a new way to enjoy close bodily contact and simultaneous pleasure without the need for penetration.
Unlike many “couples’ toys” I’ve seen, the Pulse Duo does not treat the vulva and clitoris as an afterthought. The design features an arched base, designed to part the vulva and target stimulation to the clit. The rigid surface is amazing for grinding against, providing plenty of pressure, and the toy transmits vibrations well, particularly on the higher settings.
Mr C&K reported that the vibrations and oscillations are strong and rumbly. Based on how the exterior of the toy feels, I would agree with that assessment. I’m not sure the vibrations are strong enough to give me an orgasm alone. Coupled with the grinding motion, though, they absolutely could.
The flexible wings mean that the Pulse Duo will fit most penis sizes. Hot Octopuss recommends this toy for anyone with a flaccid penis length of 3.25″ or more, and with a maximum girth of 2.5″. There is no maximum length or minimum girth recommendation.
The Pulse Duo has a four button interface, two on either side of the toy. There are 7 vibration modes to choose from (steady vibration plus 6 patterns) as well as 9 speeds. The controls are intuitive and easy to learn, and I particularly appreciate the dual-directional speed controls. The remote control offers additional flexibility in how you use the toy and has a range of around 3 metres.
Unlike a stroker, you don’t need to move the Pulse Duo up and down the penis during use. Depending on your penis size and how it fits, some people will be able to use this toy completely hands-free. Others will need to hold it in place. Of course, if you have a partner straddling you to use the toy in “Duo” mode, their weight will help anchor it in place.
Mr C&K didn’t use lube on his first attempt with the Pulse Duo. He said the toy worked fine without it, but that most people would find insertion easier and may find the toy more comfortable with some water-based lube added.
Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo Review: Cons
The first notable downside of the Pulse Duo is that it’s annoyingly loud. Oscillating toys are often louder than traditional vibrators, but the Pulse Duo is bordering on distractingly loud.
The battery life is also only around an hour, which isn’t great considering a full charge takes 3 hours.
Finally, and this is an admittedly minor gripe: the plastic battery tab in the remote control would not come out! No matter how hard we pulled it, we could ultimately only remove it by opening up the battery compartment with a tiny screwdriver. Again, minor, but annoying.
Verdict
This is a really well-designed toy and an improvement on the previous iteration in virtually every way. It is an innovative and inclusive product that focuses on pleasure rather than centering penetration. It has a strong motor, good controls, and well-thought-out use cases for both solo and partnered use. Mr C&K and I are both happy to recommend this product.
I’ll leave you with this gem from Mr C&K regarding the Pulse Duo’s aesthetic: “it looks like I have a little helmet on my… helmet.”
The Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo retails for £129/$149 and is available directly from Hot Octopuss and from Shevibe.
Thanks to Hot Octopuss for sending Mr C&K and I the Pulse Duo to review. All views are ours!
A Beginners’ Guide to BDSM Wearables: 7 Types You Should Know
When you think of BDSM gear, what comes to mind? You probably thought of ropes, cuffs and other restraints, impact toys such as floggers and paddles, or maybe specialist tools like electro-play toys, chastity devices, or pinwheels. But what about collars, BDSM hoods, gags, and other kinky wearables? BDSM wear is anything you put on your body that’s in some way related to a kink, fetish, or kinky relationship.
There are, of course, tonnes of amazing BDSM and kink activities you can do without any gear or costumes at all. But for some people, slipping on a particular item or piece of clothing (or putting it on a partner) can help them get into, and maintain, the desired headspace for kinky play.
Whether you wear them all the time, just during play, or as part of a kink party outfit, wearables can mark a transition between the vanilla and kink worlds, help to signify your role outwardly to others, or simply make you feel more fully yourself.
These are seven types of BDSM wearables you should know about.
Collars
Collars are perhaps the ultimate BDSM wearable. In the traditional sense, a collar is something you wear around your neck, generally to signify that you’re a submissive in some kind of BDSM dynamic. Materials such as leather, faux leather, suede, and even metal are common. Collars can be obvious or much more subtle, resembling an ordinary necklace. Some collars may not even be collars in the literal sense; I’ve seen people use things like rings, bracelets, or even tattoos as their collars.
Collars can mean all sorts of things. For some people, they’re akin to a wedding ring, signifying a lifelong commitment. To others, they can signify when they’re “in” or “out” of scene space. For example, I have a collar my nesting partner bought for me, and I wear it when I’m in a submissive role during play or at an event. Some people see collars as intensely meaningful, others as nothing more that tools or fashion statements. There’s no right or wrong here; what matters is what they mean to you and your partner(s) if applicable.
By the way: you can also self-collar whether you’re in a relationship or not. I have a collar I bought for myself and when I wear it, it reminds me that my body, mind, heart and choices belong to me and that I am in charge of my life.
BDSM Hoods and Other Sensory Deprivation Wear
Sensory deprivation refers to removing one or more of the senses during play. Some find this can heighten other senses. Others say it quiets the mind, helps them get more into their submissive headspace, or reinforces a sense of helplessness and vulnerability.
Everything from blindfolds and earplugs to full sensory deprivation BDSM hoods and mummification sacks come under the category of sensory deprivation wearables.
Play of this type can be surprisingly intense, so go slowly if you’re new to exploring it. It can also cut off usual avenues of communication, such as eye contact, facial expressions, or auditory clues. Make sure you establish alternative check-ins and safe signals before you start.
Harnesses
Harnesses are wearables made up of a series of straps. They’re commonly made from leather or a faux-leather material, but silicone harnesses are also becoming increasingly popular.
A harness can be decorative, functional, or a mixture of both. They can be full-body or cover just one area, such as the chest, legs, or hands. Some people wear them purely for the aesthetic value, while others enjoy the restrictive sensation some harnesses can offer. They can also act as a symbol of submission or dominance, or as a useful set of anchor points to assist in playing with restraint.
Gags and Muzzles
Gags and muzzles limit or restrict the speech and sounds of the wearer. Many people find this sexy in the context of power exchange. If you’re someone who tends to be loud when you’re playing, they can also be a good way to have fun without scaring the neighbours!
Gags and muzzles can range from simple ball or bit gags to more complex designs that hold the mouth open, all the way up to full-head lockable devices.
If you’re playing with gags, always ensure you adopt a safe signal in place of a safeword in case the submissive needs to stop. You should also take extra care to ensure breathing isn’t restricted.
Pet Play Gear
Pet players are people who enjoy taking on the persona or characteristics associated with an animal during play or as part of a kink relationship. Puppies, kittens, ponies, foxes, cows, and pigs are just some of the animal personas you might see in pet play spaces. Mythical creatures, such as unicorns and dragons, may also come out to play in these spaces.
Pet play BDSM wear includes anything that helps pet players get more into their role and headspace. Think a puppy-themed BDSM hood, a tail, a cat collar with a bell on it, pony ears, and so on.
It’s important to note that pet play is about roleplaying, archetypes, and power dynamics between consenting adult humans. It has nothing to do with actual animals or animal abuse.
Fetish Fabrics
Strictly speaking, almost any fabric can be a “fetish fabric” since the core definition of a fetish is simply deriving sexual arousal from something that is an ordinarily non-sexual object or body part. However, the fabrics and materials most commonly associated with fetishism are things like rubber, PVC, latex, and leather. These fabrics can be used for clothes, accessories, BDSM hoods or blindfolds, and more.
You might be aroused by some aspect of these fabrics themselves, like the feel of rubber or the smell of leather, or by some aspect of how it feels to wear them, such as the constricting nature of latex. Or both! Or neither! You might just like how they look and how you feel in them. I don’t have any particular fabric fetishes, but I still adore my catsuit.
Costumes
If immersive kinky roleplay is your thing, you might get more into your role with costumes. This can be anything from a simple accessory like a hat, through to elaborate get-ups worthy of your local am-dram troupe. Doctors and nurses, teachers, schoolgirls, French maids and Playboy-style bunnies are some of the options you’ll commonly find in sex shops, but the sky’s the limit when it comes to your imagination.
Thanks to Juliet Toys for sponsoring this post. Check out their kink collection of toys and BDSM wear which includes collars, impact toys, BDSM hoods, and much more. All writing and opinions are my own.