Blog - Page 21 of 34 - Coffee & Kink

[Kink Product Review] Oxy Bellatrix Chastity Belt

Published on November 29, 2022March 7, 2026 by Amy

Readers are always asking me for recommendations for the best chastity belts for people with vulvas (often referred to as female chastity belts.) Something about the chastity belt kink—being locked up, unable to touch yourself, unable to be penetrated—seems to strike a chord with a lot of people. Perhaps it’s because the idea of giving someone else control over your sexual pleasure and release feels like the ultimate act of submission.

I’ve always been a bit stuck for what to recommend. Cheaper belts tend to not have the desired effect of preventing or inhibiting stimulation. More effective ones tend to be eye-wateringly expensive, easily running to hundreds of dollars. Until now, I haven’t been able to find one that sits at the intersection of effective and relatively affordable.

That’s why, when Oxy (an online kink store with an extensive range) got in touch and invited me to review for them, I jumped at the chance to get my hands on this product.

Oxy Kink Store Bellatrix: Best Chastity Belt for People with Vulvas (AKA Female Chastity Belt)

The Bellatrix Chastity Belt from Oxy Kink Store is made of stainless steel with silicone surrounds for comfort. The silicone is available in black, white, pink, or blue. I opted for simple, elegant black for mine. It comes with two mini padlocks, each with spare keys, and some spare screws.

My belt arrived promptly, discreetly packaged in a plain brown parcel. Due to the shape, the belt comes packaged in two separate main pieces, with bubble wrap packaging protecting it. This means you need to put it together. This can take a few minutes to figure out, but it’s fairly self-explanatory (I found that looking at the picture of the whole piece on the website helped.) Some of the screws are quite small and fiddly, so set up your belt in a space with good lighting and be patient.

All belts are made to order in your size and choice of colour. The lead time is 10-15 days, so plan ahead for this one. You can also use this belt with fitted vaginal and anal plugs, if you wish (sold separately.)

Chastity Kink Belt: Fit, Comfort and Care

My Bellatrix Chastity Belt runs true to size and they’re also quite adjustable. So don’t worry if you gain or lose some weight. Though they’re made to your sizing specifications, there’s always multiple settings so you can tighten or loosen it if you need to.

This Oxy Kink Store chastity belt is also more comfortable than I really expected it to be. It sits comfortably around the waist, and the silicone stops the stainless steel from digging into your skin while you’re wearing it. You can wear it directly against your body, or over an item of clothing such as underwear or skin-hugging trousers if you prefer. The plate that sits directly over the vulva has lots of small airholes in it, allowing your body to breathe and helping to prevent overheating.

The Bellatrix Chastity Belt is made of body-safe and non-porous materials which are easy to clean. Wash your belt between wears with warm soapy water, dry it off as well as you can, and then leave it to dry completely. You can also give it a quick interim clean with a body-safe sterile wipe.

Does It Work?

I’ve tried cheaper chastity devices and those made of softer materials, such as leather, in the past. Though sexy as part of a fantasy, none of them were really effective insofar as actually preventing the wearer from touching themselves.

In this regard, the Bellatrix Chastity Belt absolutely delivers. Once it’s properly fitted, the wearer has no way to reach their vagina and clitoris. So yes, it works beautifully.

Is the Oxy Kink Store Chastity Belt Suitable for Long-Term Wear?

For many people, the fantasy of a chastity belt is that their partner locks them in and simply leaves them in it for days, weeks… or even months or years. While this is hot in theory, it’s really not practical in reality.

Though it’s theoretically possible for people with penises, it’s possibly risky long term (particularly if you’re regularly wearing the device overnight.) And for people with vulvas, I’m just not at all sure it’s physically possible. Long-term wear of even the most comfortable and well-fitted chastity belt is likely to cause rubbing and chafing after a while. Having stainless steel and silicone around your bits for too long can cause excess sweating and the trapping of bacteria, which could lead to infections such as thrush, yeast infections, and bacterial vaginosis (BV.) Of course, blocking the vagina also harms its ability to keep itself clean.

Full chastity belts can also inhibit your ability to wipe or wash properly after going to the bathroom. So if you’re going to wear it long term, you’ll need to be fastidious about hygiene and probably remove it completely at least once a day to wash yourself and the belt.

Honestly, I think true permanent or very-long-term chastity is in the realm of “doesn’t work in reality.” So no, this belt isn’t truly suitable for long-term continuous wear. But to be honest, I don’t believe there’s a device in existence that is. That’s no shade to the product (which is excellent) at all. That’s just physiology.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t have a hell of a lot of fun with the fantasy! In my experience, kink is really not about what is literally true or possible. It’s about playing with ideas, with dynamics, with emotions and desires and the hidden parts of ourselves. Toys and accessories are tools we use to help ourselves get into those mindsets and bring those fantasies to life. Our minds and bodies have to do the rest of the work.

A Few Fun Ways to Play with a Chastity Belt

Curious about chastity play but not sure where to start? I thought it would be fun to include a few ideas to get you started. As always, take what works for you, modify as you like, and leave the rest!

If you go to kink events such as play parties, wearing or having your submissive partner wear a chastity belt at one of these events can add a hot semi-public aspect to your play.
Have your partner wear the belt and then tease them by touching every other erogenous part of their body. How long will it be before they beg you to unlock them?
If you’re playing solo, wear the belt and then do everything you can to turn yourself on. See how long you can stand it before you just have to take it off and touch yourself.
Ahead of a date, have the submissive partner wear the belt. The dominant partner can then text them all kinds of sexy thoughts to turn them on.

A quick note on safety: if you’re going to play with this belt when the wearer and keyholder aren’t physically together, always make sure the wearer has a spare key for emergencies.

Verdict

Sexy and huge fun! I’m really impressed with this belt. It’s well made with body-safe materials, does the job well, and is comfortable to wear. Top marks all around.

The Bellatrix Chastity Belt retails for $130 (that’s just under £110). This is honestly a very competitive price point for a stainless steel belt that is custom made for your measurements.

Thanks to Oxy for sending me their best-rated vulva chastity belt (AKA female chastity belt) to review. All opinions and experiences are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

Header for post about the best vibrators and sex tech for long-distance couples and remote play

What are the Best Vibrators for Long Distance Play?

Published on March 19, 2022April 2, 2026 by Amy

I’m not in a serious long distance relationship at the time of writing (though I do have a lovely long distance play partner.) But until a few months ago, I had a partner who lived in a different city. We saw each other about once a month, and kept in touch using various methods in between. We texted, sexted, had virtual dates, and occasionally played with sex tech like remote control long-distance vibrators.

Who Uses Long Distance Vibrators and Why?

Sales of high tech, remote-capable sex toys designed for long distance relationships boomed in the first months of the Covid-19 pandemic. Whether you’re temporarily separated by travel restrictions, one of you is travelling for work, or you currently (or permanently) live apart, you can enjoy sex from anywhere in the world with the right remote sex toy.

This is just one of the use-cases for the large, and growing, market for sex toys that can be controlled over long distances. If you enjoy the thrill of wearing a sex toy out and about and handing control to your partner, a long-distance vibrator can also be a good investment. They tend to be much more reliable than the ones with short-range handheld remotes.

Remote sex toys are now available in just about every iteration you can think of, from the common wearable toys to strokers, rabbits, clitoral suction toys, and more. There are even app-controlled chastity devices, believe it or not!

Another popular use-case for long-distance vibrators is for those who do online camming. Say you’ve set up your custom Chaturbate profile and built a loyal following, what’s next? Many performers find that using a remote vibe, and allowing fans to take control of it in exchange for tips, is a fun way to boost their earnings. Lovense toys are specifically designed with this functionality in mind.

But what are the best vibrators for long distance couples, cam models, and anyone else who needs a toy with remote control capability? Turns out that’s not a simple question to answer. Here are a few things you might want to consider to help you choose the best long-distance sex toy for YOU.

What’s Your Budget?

App-controlled and long distance sex toys are becoming more accessible, price-wise, as more and more companies are making them. You might say that sex tech has gone mainstream! Even so, there are products available at a wide range of price points. Lower priced products in this category tend to start at around the $80 mark, but you can easily spend hundreds of dollars for high-end products from some brands.

Before you start shopping, decide on your budget. You might need to compromise on some features, depending on how much you want to spend. Which brings us to…

Which Features Matter Most to You in Long Distance Vibrators?

You should also consider which features you want your toys to have and what matters the most to you. For some people, the most important feature will be the toy’s level of power. Though there are exceptions, many people who use sex toys tend to prefer strong, rumbly vibrations over weaker, buzzier ones.

App reliability is another big factor to consider. You don’t want the connection to keep dropping in the middle of your hot virtual sex date! And if you’re into the idea of semi-public play (or live with family/roommates), the volume of the toy might also be important to you.

When it comes to power, volume, and app connectivity, the best thing you can do is read honest reviews like the ones you’ll find here and on other sex blogs. Good sex toy bloggers test things robustly and call it as we see it when we give our verdict on a product.

Some app-controlled sex toys are more feature-rich than others. At the most basic level, app control will allow your partner to switch the toy on and off and scroll through a pre-set range of speeds and patterns. More advanced products have all kinds of fancy bonus features. For example, some toys allow you to draw your own vibration patterns, sync the vibrations to music, or even use your wearable toy as an alarm.

The Lovense Connect app — App: Lovense Connect

If you’re non-monogamous or do (for example) camming or phone sex, the option to give control to different people at the touch of a button might be important to you. Some toys only let you add one partner to their apps at a time. This means that you have to delete and re-add every time you’re playing with a different person.

The Most Powerful App-Controlled Toys

Two of the biggest players in app-controlled vibrators and other long distance sex toys right now are Lovense and We-Vibe. These products are popular for a reason – they are, in the main, high quality, reliable, and powerful vibes. But they are far from the only options on the market. Other options include Lovehoney’s Desire range as well as products from brands like Kiiroo, Svakom, and Lelo. I strongly suspect that over the next few years, most of the major sex toy brands will start bringing out app-controlled toys, if they haven’t already.

From a personal perspective, I have found We-Vibe’s products to be the most consistently powerful app-controlled toys I’ve tried. Lovense products are also generally pretty powerful. Interestingly, however, I found their most iconic and popular product (the Lush) rather lacklustre in the power department.

Consider Privacy When Using Long Distance Vibrators

I am far from a digital privacy expert. I do know that some people with far more knowledge than me have expressed legitimate concerns over the privacy aspect of long distance sex tech apps. Ultimately, you must do your own research and decide your level of acceptable risk. If you’re concerned, read the privacy policy of the company you’re considering buying from. You can also check out reviews from sex tech experts to see what they have to say about the privacy aspect.

Long Distance Sex Tech: A Few Specific Recommendations

As you can see, it’s not easy to give a blanket answer to the question “what are the best vibrators for long-distance sex?” Ultimately, what’s best for you will depend on your personal preferences and the various factors I’ve discussed in this piece.

But from a personal perspective, here are a few of the app-controlled sex toys that I like the most:

Lovense Ferri, a fabulously powerful-yet-discreet knicker vibe.
Lovense Domi, a genuinely brilliant wand. You don’t see app-controlled wand vibrators very often, which makes this one even more appealing.
We-Vibe Nova 2, an app-controlled rabbit vibe with a fantastic clit-friendly design.
We-Vibe Chorus and Chorus Pro, vibrators designed for clitoral stimulation during penetrative sex but also ideal for hands free long-distance play.

This post was sponsored by Designurbate, a tool that allows you to customize your Chaturbate profile and stand out from the crowd. All writing and views are, as always, my own.

Header image for review of the Womanizer Starlet 3

[Toy Review] Womanizer Starlet 3

Published on March 18, 2022March 7, 2026 by Amy

If you’ve been around for a while, you might remember my reviews of the Womanizer Starlet and Womanizer Starlet 2 rechargeable clitoral stimulators. I was impressed with the original Starlet, a teeny-tiny, no-frills version of Womanizer’s classic clitoral suction stimulators, and significantly less enamoured with the Starlet 2. The latest iteration in this range, the Womanizer Starlet 3, has just hit the market and it’s time for a review.

Womanizer Starlet 3 Rechargeable Clitoral Stimulator: Details

Womanizer Starlet 3 clitoral suction stimulator

The Womanizer Starlet 3 is very similar in design to the Starlet 2. I can’t take a picture of them side by side because I passed on my Starlet 2 to a friend, but as far as I can tell they’re the same size (5″ total length) and the same shape. The Starlet 3 has the same ABS plastic body and removeable silicone nozzle, and is similarly lightweight and compact.

So what’s the difference?

As far as I can tell, the biggest difference is that the Womanizer Starlet 3 has 6 speed settings. The Starlet Original and Starlet 2 each have only 4.

The Starlet 3 comes in a couple of new colourways, including the beautiful teal green I received. I specifically requested this because I love green and it’s an unusual shade for sex toys, so I jump on it when I see it. You can also get the Starlet 3 in blue, grey, or pink.

The Starlet 3 also arrived in revamped, sustainable cardboard packaging. Manufacturers who are still using tonnes of single-use plastic, take note.

Womanizer Starlet 3 recyclable sustainable packaging

The Womanizer Starlet 3 is waterproof and USB rechargeable via the included cable. You can clean the body of the toy with a sterile wipe or warm soapy water. You can also remove the nozzle to sterilise it in boiling water (or the dishwasher.)

Starlet 3 in Use

Since it’s the same basic shape as the Starlet 2, many of the issues I had with that product carry over to this one. Specifically, the handle is short and the nozzle only sticks out from the toy’s body about half an inch. I find this makes it incredibly difficult to get and maintain a good angle for both maximum stimulation and comfort. This is probably an issue of personal preference rather than a fundamental flaw with the product, but if it’s a problem for me it’s sure to be a problem for at least some other users. Some of Lovehoney’s on-site reviewers have noted this issue, too.

The nozzle opening is also very small, only about half an inch across at the widest point. That means it’s probably only going to work for someone with a fairly small clit. (Yes, like all other body parts, they vary in shape and size).

The Starlet 3’s controls are fine, wth +/- buttons (which are also the on/off buttons) situated on the back of the main body of the toy. The buttons are a little stiff and require quite a firm press.

My biggest issue with the Starlet 3 is its battery life. The advertised runtime of 30 minutes on a full charge is already pretty poor. It takes many people longer than that to reach orgasm! But I found that the Starlet 3’s motor became juddery and unreliable after only about 20 minutes. If I pressed it too firmly against my body, or moved too suddenly, it would suddenly reduce in intensity or cut out completely.

Utimately, the Womanizer Starlet 3 fails the “does it get me off?” test. It didn’t on any of the three occasions I tried it. The level of power isn’t bad, especially on the higher settings. I also have no complaints about the suction sensation itself. It probably could have brought me to orgasm using the top couple of speeds, if only the shape weren’t so annoying and it hadn’t died mid-session!

Interestingly, the product copy specifically states that this toy can be used for edging (getting close to orgasm then backing off.) Edging is something I and many other people enjoy. And while this claim is true, it’s… also sort of true for any sex toy that is capable of bringing the user to orgasm? I’m not really sure why it’s specified for this one in particular. Plus, getting edged non-consensually because the damn battery ran out isn’t my idea of a good time.

Womanizer Starlet 3 Review: Verdict

I really wanted to like this one. I appreciate that Womanizer have tried to offer a more budget-friendly option in their range of notoriously high-priced toys. Not to mention it’s just so pretty!

But… ugh.

For a toy that retails for £69.99 ($79.99 US), the Womanizer Starlet 3 was highly disappointing and I cannot recommend it. While the issues I had with the shape are arguably a matter of preference, there’s no excuse for the terrible battery life and unreliable motor. If you’re on a budget, the Romp Switch is a better (and cheaper!) alternative. If you can afford to spend a bit more, you can’t go wrong with the Womanizer/Lovehoney Pro40.

Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me the Womanizer Starlet 3 to review. All views are, as always, my own. Affiliate links appear in this post.

Header image for a post on how to vet a Dom

How to Vet a Dom Before You Play

Published on February 10, 2022March 21, 2026 by Amy2 Comments

I meet a lot of new and curious submissives through this blog and events in my local kink community. The question they ask me most often? How to find a Dom. But finding someone is just the first step. It’s also essential to understand how to vet a Dom before you play with them or begin any kind of kinky relationship. Vetting is a process of getting to know someone and establishing that they are who they say they are and that they’re safe to date or do BDSM play with.

How to Vet a Dom: 5 Ways

The kink community is not a utopia. It consists of people. Some of those people will be wonderful, others will be awful, and most will be somewhere between those two extremes. Submitting to someone, sexually or in a kink scene, is vulnerable and requires a lot of trust. That’s why vetting is essential; it allows you to understand who someone really is before you get too invested in a romantic, sexual, or BDSM relationship.

Always Meet in a Public Place First When You’re Vetting a Potential BDSM Partner

If you’re meeting someone in person for the first time (say, if you’ve met them online) then always have your first meeting in a public place like a bar, restaurant, or coffee shop. Even if you’ve met at an event such as a BDSM munch or rope bondage workshop, having a date in a public place the first time you meet one-to-one is a good idea.

This lets you get to know them as a person in a safe and low-pressure environment. It also ensures you can leave relatively easily and have other people around if things go sideways.

If a prospective Dom balks at meeting in public, that’s a glaring red flag in a kinky relationship. It can indicate anything from not wanting to be seen in public because they’re cheating on a spouse to wanting to get you alone so they can cause you harm.

Ask for References to Help You Vet a Dom

If your prospective Dominant has been in the kink community for a while, others will know them and probably have an opinion on them. Try asking some regulars in your local scene to see what they can tell you about this person. If in doubt, the organiser of a munch they attend regularly is a good place to start.

When vetting, it’s best to get a range of opinions if you can. One person’s view can be clouded either positively or negatively, but patterns of data are far more useful. Of course, if you hear anything really damning (such as that the person has a history of behaving abusively), pay very close attention to that.

Kinksters are used to people vetting potential Doms (and submissives) and generally support it. Your local community leaders won’t think it’s weird if you say “hey, I’m thinking of playing with X and I wondered if you have any insight on what they’re like as a person or a player?”

Pay Attention to Small Signs

When you’re trying to vet a Dom, one of the best things you can do is simply pay attention. If you look closely, you can learn a lot about a person from the ways they interact with you, other people, and the world around them. Remember that a BDSM relationship is still a relationship first and foremost.

For example, do they generally speak to others at the munch with respect and courtesy, or do they assume that all submissives are fair game to be degraded and spoken down to? If you go out for coffee or a meal, how do they treat the waitstaff? Do they have hobbies, interests, and friends that they can talk about? Do they seek consent as a matter of course (for example, by asking before touching or hugging you for the first time?)

Here’s a useful BDSM vetting trick a friend taught me: set a small boundary early on. This can be anything from “I’m not comfortable with pet names” to “I have to leave by six to get to work.” Do they respect and honour it? How a Dominant responds to a clearly stated boundary tells you an enormous amount about them and how they’ll treat you if you continue in a relationship.

Introduce a Prospective Dom to Your Friends and Ask Them to Help You Vet Them

Friends can sometimes spot things that we’re oblivious to when we have a crush on someone (or are deep in sub frenzy). If you’re not sure how to vet a Dom or if your perceptions are accurate, introduce them some of your trusted friends when you can. Don’t be afraid to ask your friends for their honest opinions. And then listen to them!

I’ve had friends introduce me to their new partner or prospective partner and immediately had a feeling of “urgh, no, there’s something off about this person”, even if I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what the problem was. I call this sense The Vibes and it’s accurate a shocking percentage of the time. Other times, I’ve thought how happy and relaxed my friend seems around their new sweetie.

Play At An Event First

So you’ve vetted your potential Dom, they seem okay and you’re wanting to get kinky. My recommendation at this stage? Play at an event first. Not everyone likes events or has access to them due to finances or geography. But if this is an option for you, it can be safer to wplay with a new Dom for the first time at a kink party.

Reputable kinky play events usually have staff, such as organisers and Dungeon Monitors (DMs), who will keep an eye on what’s happening and step in if necessary. For example, many events have “house safewords” but in practice, a DM will pay attention to anything that sounds like a withdrawal of consent. Playing at a party means that, even if you’re in a vulnerable position such as being restrained, you’ll have someone looking out for you.

Remember: People Can Still Fool You

Unfortunately, some people are good at seeming affable and safe while being anything but. You might learn how to vet a Dom and do everything you reasonably can, but still end up hurt. Regardless of what vetting precautions you did or didn’t take, if another person chooses to harm you the fault is theirs. You are not to blame.

Vetting is ultimately one tool that helps to keep us safe in BDSM. It’s far from perfect, and it works best alongside other tools such as robust negotiation, mutual community care, and scene safeguarding. Even so, it’s one of the most powerful ways you have at your disposal to reduce your risk.

A woman's mouth seductively licking a heart-shaped lollipop. Text reads: Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Review

[Massage & Better Sex Products Review] Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex

Published on January 20, 2022April 2, 2026 by Amy

“No fiction, no acting, no judgements, no comparisons, no fear, no guilt nor shame”—so begins the Bijoux Indiscrets “Slow Sex” manifesto, which adorns the packaging of each product in the Slow Sex range of intimacy and better sex products, which I recently received to review. Definitely a message I can get behind!

Of course, sex is complicated. Fear, judgement and shame are very real for too many of us. I still experience them even as someone who makes a living by talking and writing openly about sex. It’s going to take far more than a range of products to fully tackle the deep, systemic issues that allow sexual shame to run rampant.

Even so, in a world where so many companies (even purportedly sex-positive ones) profit from shame and stigma, I’m glad to see an adult retailer encouraging people to move away from these destructive ideas and towards more authentic pleasure.

I received a selection of items from the Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex range to try out.

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Range: General Impressions

Each full size Slow Sex product comes beautifully presented. It comes in eco-friendly cardboard packaging featuring artistic close-ups of body parts and sometimes floral motifs.

Collection of Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex products

The Slow Sex range also doesn’t use any gendered marketing! Each product is described by referencing body parts and sex acts, without ascribing gender to them. It sounds like a small thing, but simply writing “the clitoris” instead of “her clitoris” or “use it on your partner” rather than “use it on your man” makes sexuality product marketing so much more inclusive.

With the exception of the oral sex strips, all the Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex products I tried for this review have a strong and distinctive coconut aroma. I enjoy the smell and taste of coconut, so this was fine. But if you don’t, it’s something to be aware of. The scent is pretty noticeable and does tend to hang around after you’ve finished playing!

Everything in the Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex range is cruelty-free and vegan.

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Clitoral Balm Review

The Slow Sex product I was most excited to try was the clitoral balm. So naturally that’s where I went first.

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Clitoral Balm comes in a little 10ml tube. This doesn’t seem like much, but you only need a tiny amount so this tube will last you a while.

Slow Sex Clitoral Balm contains a pretty long list of ingredients. Check it carefully before use if you’re allergic or sensitive to anything. There’s nothing in the ingredients that immediately strikes me as problematic. It does contain glycerin, but for an external-only product that you use in tiny amounts, I don’t really mind.

Honestly, I was underwhelmed by this product. I really wanted to love Bijoux Indiscrets’ clitoral balm, especially as I’ve reviewed and loved various similar products in the past, but it didn’t do much for me. I got a slight warming sensation, which was pleasant enough. But it didn’t really enhance sensitivity or give me any noticeable increase in pleasure. If you enjoy warming lubes, this is a slight step up from that, but it’s not much more. I’ll probably finish this tube, but I’m unlikely to buy it again.

Slow Sex Clitoral Balm retails for £15/$17. According to Bijoux, it’s compatible with all toy types and with latex barriers.

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Finger Play Gel Review

The Slow Sex Finger Play Gel is basically a water-based lube designed for external use, particularly for hand sex (i.e. fingering or hand-jobs.) It contains just a few ingredients, of which the main ones are glycerin, water, and aloe vera leaf juice. Given the high glycerin concentration, I won’t be using this one internally and I’d advise that you don’t either.

The Finger Play Gel is a gorgeously thick lubricant. It lasts well, and a little goes a long way. Its thick texture and slipperiness make it perfect for hand sex. It’s easy to clean up with warm water and soap, though it does get sticky after a while. After use, my skin felt soft and moisturised, probably thanks to the aloe. It has a pleasant, subtly sweet taste.

Slow Sex Finger Play Gel retails for £15/$17. With just 30ml in a tube, it’s pretty pricey, but it should last you a while. Slow Sex Finger Play Gel is condom-compatible and suitable to use with all toy materials.

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Nipple Play Gel

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Nipple Play Gel comes in a little 10ml glass tube with a roller ball applicator. Simply apply a little to your nipples and then stimulate them as you normally would. The gel gives a subtle cooling, tingling sensation.

I found that the Nipple Play Gel slightly heightened sensitivity. When I applied it then went about my day, it made me more aware of my nipples—and particularly the feel of them against my clothing—than I’d normally be. Potentially fun if you want to heighten your arousal throughout the day. I found that one application lasted about an hour before the effect wore off.

It also increases sensitivity if you’re doing nipple play with hands, toys, or clamps. But this stuff really comes into its own when combined with oral nipple stimulation. The cool gel combined with a warm mouth makes everything feel much more intense. And since the gel has a sweet taste, it’s not unpleasant for the giver, either! (Assuming they like coconut.)

The Slow Sex Nipple Play Gel is water-based and does not contain any ingredients that are toxic or problematic for topical use. It’s easy to wash off when you’re done and leaves a gentle coconut scent on the skin.

Slow Sex Nipple Play Gel retails for £15/$17.

Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm

I was highly sceptical about the Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm, as was Mr C&K, but we kept an open mind and decided to give it a fair chance for this review. It comes in a 10ml tube and I was expecting a liquid or thin gel, but it’s really more of a thick paste. I had to massage it between my fingers to get it to melt enough to use.

The packaging suggests applying Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm to your lips right before giving a blow job, or applying it directly to the penis. To get the full effect, we did both. I’m not sure most people would feel much if you only did the former.

First, the good: it definitely had an effect! My partner described it as a cooling sensation, which is likely caused by the menthol it contains. When you’re doing oral sex, the contrast between this cooling and the warmth of a mouth can be very interesting. He also reported that it did increase sensitivity slightly, and that it felt like sensation continued after the point of orgasm.

Then the less-good: Since Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm is an oil-based product, it’s not suitable for use with any latex barriers. And given that I wouldn’t want several of the ingredients in my vagina, it also means it’s not really possible to go from oral to vaginal sex without cleaning up in between. I really dislike the sensation of anything oily or sticky on my hands, so I had to wipe this off with a tissue immediately after applying it.

Also worth noting: the coconutty/minty smell and taste is VERY potent. It’s not unpleasant but if, like me, you like to experience the scent and taste of your partner’s body, this is definitely going to mask that.

Overall, a mixed experience but definitely more positive than we were expecting.

Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm retails for £15/$17.

Slow Sex Oil Based Full Body Massage Gel

The Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Full Body Massage Gel comes in an attractive glass bottle. With 50ml in the bottle, it definitely feels like one of the more substantial Slow Sex products. Slow Sex Massage Gel is oil-based and designed for all-over massage.

The packaging says you can use it “anywhere and everywhere” and the website describes it as genital-compatible, so if your massage turns erotic you’re good to go. Again, I’d recommend that you keep it external only. This massage gel is also suitable for use in water and is compatible with silicone sex toys and latex barriers.

This is probably my favourite product in the entire Slow Sex range. It is slick without being sticky, and does not leave any nasty residue behind. As a bonus, it leaves my skin feeling lovely and moisturised (and coconut scented!) It also lasts ages, as a little bit goes a long way once it’s on the skin.

I also like that Slow Sex Massage Gel comes in a pump bottle, which is much more user-friendly and less spillage-prone than the bottles massage oils usually come in.

Slow Sex Full Body Massage Gel retails for £18/$23.

Slow Sex Oral Sex Strips

If you’re asking “what on earth is an oral sex strip?”, well, so was I! Turns out they’re little paper-thin minty strips that are designed to go on your tongue and then melt while you’re performing oral sex. Like the Oral Sex Balm, the Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Oral Sex Strips have a strong minty flavour (spearmint oil is one of the main ingredients.) They taste like something you’d use to brush your teeth or freshen your breath.

The sensation is… interesting. Much like the Slow Sex Oral Sex Balm, the main appeal of these strips is that they provide a contrast between the cooling sensation and the warmth of a mouth. However, they melt very quickly so the intense effect only lasts for maybe a minute or so. You do get some of the effect for a while afterwards as the mint lingers on your body, but you only get maybe a maximum of 5 minutes out of each strip.

These were fine, but I wasn’t blown away. They heightened sensitivity somewhat, but not to such an extent that they can make or break the experience. And to be honest, I’m going to repeat something I said above. If I’m going down on a lover, I want to taste them, not a mouthful of mint.

Slow Sex Oral Sex Strips retail for £6/$7 for a pack of 7.

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Massage Candle

The Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Massage Candle comes in a little tin. It is made of body-safe, skin-friendly, and plant-based ingredients. The main ingredients include Prunus Amygdalus Dulcis oil, Cocos Nucifera (coconut) oil, and Shea butter.

Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex massage candle in its box

The Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Massage Candle melts quickly once you light it. I had plenty of usable oil within less than a minute after lighting. When I wanted to top up on oil mid-massage, it took no more than 10-15 seconds of the candle being lit to get the amount I needed. The box says to light it for 15 minutes but honestly, unless you want the entire thing melted, that’s not even close to necessary. Any oil you don’t use will just harden again as it cools, ready for next time.

Both my girlfriend and I loved the subtle coconut scent of this candle. It’s distinctive without being obtrusive or overpowering, and helps to create a lovely romantic, relaxed vibe as it permeates your space. Our skin felt wonderfully soft and moisturised after trading massages, and I still kept catching little whiffs of the scent hours later.

I often struggle with oily sensations for sensory reasons, but the Bijoux Indiscrets Massage Candle’s oil doesn’t leave my skin feeling unpleasantly greasy because it soaks in so well. An oil-based product that doesn’t have me running to wash it off my hands? That’s an achievement in itself.

Because there’s no wax in this candle, you can also use it as a moisturiser or as a fragrant addition to a bath if you like.

For the avoidance of doubt, this is not the same as a wax play candle. The melting point of the oils is much lower than that of paraffin or even soy wax, meaning that—even if you drip it from very close to your partner’s skin—you’ll get a pleasant warmth rather than an “ouch.”

The oil will start to harden again as it hits the body, but as soon as you run your hands over it, it’ll melt again and start to be absorbed into the skin as you massage. This means that, unlike with wax play, there’s little to no cleanup afterwards.

Due to the oils it contains, this massage candle is not compatible with latex or polyisoprene (though it’s okay with polyurethane.) This means you’ll need to be careful if you’re using barriers such as condoms or dams.

I also didn’t love the slight black residue you get on the inside of the tin and across the top of the candle when it’s been burning a few minutes. It doesn’t really get on your skin in any noticeable way, but it looks a bit yuck.

Depending on how generous you like to go with your oil, you’ll probably get 4-5 massages out of one candle. You could make it last a little longer by going lighter on your coverage, but more is definitely more here in my experience!

The Bijoux Indiscrets Slow Sex Massage Candle retails for £18/$22.

Thanks to Bijoux Indiscrets for sending me these Slow Sex products to test in exchange for an honest review.

PleX with Flex review header image, woman's butt in fishnet stockings

[Toy Review] Hot Octopuss PleX with Flex

Published on January 13, 2022August 31, 2026 by Amy

Do you all remember the Kurve vibrator from Hot Octopuss? I raved about the Kurve because of its dual “treble and bass” motors, which allow the user to customise not just the intensity level of the vibrations, but also where they fall on the buzz-rumble scale. Well, a new Hot Octopuss toy has arrived, and it uses the same tech. But this time, it’s for your butt. Meet the Hot Octopuss PleX with Flex.

What is The Hot Octopuss PleX with Flex?

The PleX with Flex is a vibrating butt plug by Hot Octopuss. It measures 5.5″ in total length, of which around 5″ are insertable, and 1.7″ in diameter at the widest point. The plug sits on a wide base. As the name suggests, it’s ultra flexible, bending up to 90 degrees in any direction.

My PleX with Flex arrived packaged in Hot Octopuss’s signature, sleek black packaging with a picture of the toy on the front. In the box you’ll find your plug, a little square remote control, a branded storage pouch, a charging cable, and an instruction leaflet. I do appreciate that Hot Octopuss always include a storage bag with their toys. It’s such a small thing but it really does help a more expensive product feel like value for money.

PleX with Flex vibrating butt plug in its box

The PleX with Flex is made of smooth and body-safe matte black silicone. It is also fully waterproof, though the remote control is not. It’s rechargeable via the included USB cable.

Hot Octopuss Plex with Flex Review: What I Liked

By far my favourite thing about the PleX with Flex is its shape. The smooth, tapered shape makes insertion comfortable, and the ultra flexible nature of it means you can position the toy exactly how you want. I don’t have a prostate but for people who do, I’m informed that the curved shape of the PleX with Flex makes it ideal for targeted prostate pleasure.

PleX with Flex black silicone butt plug from Hot Octopuss

The PleX with Flex’s motors are also fantastic. It houses a rumbly (“bass”) motor towards the bottom of the shaft, and a buzzy (“treble”) motor towards the tip. With independent controls (we’ll talk more about the and five available pattern settings for each motor, you can create an enormous range of different experiences and sensations. Best of all, each motor is powerful. I’m not a big fan of buzz, so I eventually found that the sweet spot for me was to have the buzzy motor on low and the rumbly motor on a higher setting.

PleX with Flex vibrating prostate massager

The large base, which essentially functions as a handle, also makes it possible to thrust with this toy, if you want to. That’s unusual in a butt plug style toy. For that reason, I’d recommend this one if you’re working up to anal penetration with a penis or a larger dildo.

The PleX with Flex also isn’t too loud relative to its vibration strength. Even outside the body it’s pretty quiet, and when it’s inserted the sound is muffled still further. You might not want to use it out in public, but there’s no way you’ll wake the neighbours!

The PleX with Flex is also easy to keep clean. I recommend using a body-safe sterilising wipe then wash it thoroughly in warm water and gentle soap.

Anything I Didn’t Love?

The PleX with Flex is fundamentally a well designed toy. Its shape is dreamy and its motors are excellent. With that said, there are a few things I think could be improved.

My biggest complaint lies in the buttons and controls. Placing the controls on the bottom of the toy’s base is an odd choice for this one. This makes it impossible to see the buttons when the toy is inserted. So you have to either rely on touch alone (possible but not ideal), ask your partner to change the setting for you if you’re using the toy together, or take it out to change the setting and then reinsert. None of which is ideal.

PleX with Flex silicone prostate massager buttons

I could forgive this if the remote control was brilliantly designed, but it’s… not. Hot Octopuss’s remote controls are inexplicably tiny. I think they’re going for discretion but, unless you’re going to use the toy in public (which, as I’ve said, I don’t recommend) I’d rather have a slightly bigger control that’s easier to use. Being so small, it’s difficult to hold and easy to lose. I much, much prefer the wrist strap design offered with toys like the Pulse Solo Lux.

Remote for remote control vibrating butt plug PleX with Flex

The battery life is also a bit of an issue. It lasts about an hour on a full charge. But with a charging time of 4 hours, I would have liked its run time to be a little longer.

From a personal experience perspective, another downside is that the PleX with Flex is slightly too big. It took me a long-ass (ha) time to write up this review, partly because my butt is rarely up for taking something of this size. This is less an objective criticism, admittedly, than a personal preference. I’d really love to see them release a mini version alongside this one, for those of us who prefer a smaller anal toy. So if any Hot Octopuss designers are reading…

The PleX with Flex isn’t really a leave-in toy. Given the size of the base and the location of the buttons, sitting or walking around all day with it in isn’t really possible. This isn’t really a downside as such, just something to be aware of. This is a toy

PleX with Flex Review: Verdict

It’s a mixed bag for me with this one. Ultimately, the PleX with Flex is a toy that meets specific needs well. If you’re looking for a butt toy with strong motors and an ability to experiment with buzz/rumble as well as power level and patterns, this is the one for you. I also recommend it if you’re looking for a vibrating anal toy you can thrust with. On the other hand, if you’re looking for something more akin to an “insert and leave in” anal toy, this is not it.

While its body-safe materials, well-designed shape, and powerful motors work in its favour, there are notable downsides that make it hard to give an unqualified YES to this one.

The PleX with Flex retails for $99.99/£89.95 and is available from Good Vibes and Babeland.

Thanks to Hot Octopuss, who sent me the product in exchange for an honest review. All views are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.

Header image for a guest post about being a submissive with ADHD by Redridingbrat

[Guest Post] Being a Submissive with ADHD by Redridingbrat

Published on December 24, 2021April 2, 2026 by Amy1 Comment

While I don’t have an actual diagnosis of ADHD, I’ve long know that it’s something I probably have. Whenever I see any ADHD content, from medical information to memes, I find myself going “yep, it me”. It impacts virtually every aspect of my life. So I wasn’t altogether surprised when I also found this piece from my friend Redridingbrat (she/her) about ADHD and its impact on BDSM and kink deeply relatable.

I feel very strongly that kink is for all consenting adults who want to engage in it. Many of the images we see online and in the media are reductive, exclusionary, and harmful. That’s why it’s so important to me to represent a diversity of experiences on this blog. To that end, I’m thrilled to host RRB’s thoughts on ADHD in a BDSM relationship.

As always, you can help me to pay more lovely guest writers by chipping in via the tip jar.

Amy x

ADHD and Kink: Being a Submissive with ADHD by Redridingbrat

What comes to mind when you think of the perfect submissive?

Perhaps it is someone who is entirely focused on their Dominant? Someone who finds it easy to follow the rules and pre-emptively do whatever their Dominant might desire?

How does this approach to kink change when you have ADHD?

ADHD, or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, is a medical condition that affects the way a person thinks and acts. This often presents as someone being inattentive, hyperactive, and impulsive—three things that can often clash with the pop culture view of submission. As a submissive with ADHD, I have had to work with my Dominant to make sure that my submission and BDSM relationship isn’t adversely affected by my ADHD.

ADHD, Kink and Forgetfulness

One of the ways inattention in ADHD can affect a D/s or kink dynamic is forgetfulness. Forgetting rules, forgetting tasks, forgetting where things have been placed… not something that is in the picture-perfect view of a sub! Thankfully, this is something this can be easily accommodated. Having the rules written up and displayed somewhere is a straightforward alternative to relying on the memory. Having things placed in see-through or open containers lets you quickly see where they are. A long-term solution is to have your Dominant help you create habits, so you do not need to remember a thing.

Another annoying symptom of ADHD is being prone to distraction. Sitting in a corner with no stimulation is my personal idea of hell. It isn’t just me who can suffer as a result of this, though; losing interest in an activity halfway through a scene can very quickly make a Dominant feel like they failed at a scene, and make the submissive then feel guilty for not being able to concentrate. This does not have an easy fix but there are things that help.

Doing shorter activities can do wonders, as this gives less chances for the brain to wander off. Sensory deprivation can also help as it can force the submissive to focus on their other senses. The biggest things that can help are open communication and being self-aware. By letting your Dominant know when you are having a bad day focusing, you can reassure each other that neither is at fault when focus issues arise.

Hyperfocus, Kink and ADHD

On the opposite end of the spectrum, another symptom of ADHD is hyperfocus; getting so consumed by a task that everything else is ignored. When a task is interrupted by something else, it can be extremely hard to bring yourself out of the task and into the new thing, regardless of how urgent it may be. In extreme cases, this can lead to ignoring the need to drink or use the toilet for hours on end.

One thing my Dominant has found to help with managing this aspect of my ADHD in our kink relationship is simply asking “when will this be done?”. This helps me to verbalise what “done” looks like as well as giving me a cue to start bringing myself out of the task. Having a set routine and structure also helps with this as it ensures that my body becomes accustomed to performing certain activities at certain time, with an external check (my Dominant) making sure it is adhered to.

Managing Motivation as a Submissive with ADHD

Another symptom of ADHD that is often overlooked is internal motivation. I can often sit in “standby mode”, endlessly scrolling social media whilst given tasks go unfulfilled. Part of this is that a larger task can be overwhelming if not broken down into smaller steps. This overwhelm can make it physically uncomfortable to get started. Something that can really help prevent situations like this is breaking a large task down into multiple smaller parts, while also being clear about what signifies completion of each part.

One example of this ADHD hack in a kink context: “make yourself presentable for me” can be broken down into “take a shower, style your hair into a high ponytail, put on a full face of makeup with red lipstick, and wear the red underwear. I want these tasks to be complete by 5pm.” Rewards-based dynamics are also excellent for those who require the internal motivation to be turned external. Extra orgasms for doing a large task? Yes please!

ADHD and BDSM: The Positives

I have spoken at length about the challenges of having ADHD in a BDSM relationship. But it does come with a number of positives too. Those of us with ADHD often excel when in “crisis mode”, meaning we can be very good if something goes wrong in a kink scene. ADHD folks are also creative in our problem solving, making us the perfect people to do puzzle-based tasks or mend broken toys. And ADHD people can also be more adventurous, making us the ideal partner for trying new activities in the bedroom.

ADHD can make submission hard. It breaks many of the pre-conceived notions of what a “good submissive” looks like. Someone who is forgetful, distractable, and hard to self-motivate is not the “ideal” that is written about in popular BDSM literature. However, there are things that can help overcome the barriers that ADHD puts up in a kink dynamic.

The main thing to remember is that D/s is not one size fits all. You can customise and change how your relationship looks. You are not a failure if it does not look like the glamorised novels. Anyone can be a submissive. All you need to do is identify as one and find someone who adores you and your style.

Redridingbrat is a switchy brat who loves nothing more than to engage her submissive side. Her main experiences involve rope, D/s and discussions surrounding disability within the kink community.

Header for a post about wand vibrators and anorgasmia from antidepressants

How Wand Vibrators Helped Me Find My Sexual Desire Again When Antidepressants Killed It

Published on December 11, 2021July 30, 2026 by Amy

I’ve been on antidepressants for the majority of my adult life, trying three different medications before I found the one that works for me. I’ve had some shame about this over the years, but these days I am very pro-medication for those who need it. I’m not exaggerating when I say that my mental health meds saved my life on more than one occasion. Unfortunately, antidepressants are known to decrease sexual desire for many people, and my first two antidepressants also killed my libido.

Like any medications, antidepressants often have side effects. These can range in severity from mildly annoying to seriously debilitating. Sexual side effects are common and can include erectile dysfunction, loss of desire, anorgasmia, and more.

How Antidepressants Killed My Libido and Ability to Orgasm

My first antidepressant was Fluoxetine (Prozac), which killed my libido for the entire nine months I was taking it. Anything that had been pleasurable before just felt like… nothing. This wasn’t limited to sex, either. I also lost my appetite and all ability to derive pleasure from food.

On Citalopram, I lost my ability to orgasm while my body adjusted to the meds. Needless to say, this was incredibly upsetting and frustrating. Feeling like I had no control over my body and like I’d lost one of my greatest sources of pleasure was so damaging that I seriously considered coming off the meds that were otherwise helping with my depression.

The first time antidepressants killed my libido, was so thoroughly miserable (both from the depression and from the side effects of the meds) that I wasn’t even interested in reclaiming it. I’m pretty sure I didn’t have sex or masturbate for about nine months at one stage. In hindsight, this probably made things even worse, because my sexuality has always been one of the key ways that I access pleasure and joy. At that time, I didn’t own any sex toys, and any touch from either myself or my partner left me cold.

The second time antidepressants didn’t kill my libido entirely, but they did decrease it. They took the edge off the worst of the sadness and hopelessness, and I found myself wanting sex occasionally. But I couldn’t orgasm, either with my partner or by myself. Though orgasm is not necessarily the goal of sex, this quickly became frustrating and then maddening. I felt like my body was betraying me. Like I had to choose between having a properly functioning brain and a satisfying sex life.

Overcoming Anorgasmia with Sex Toys and Advocating For My Pleasure

The turning point in reclaiming by libido and orgasms came when my then-partner suggested trying a wand vibrator. It finally broke through the orgasm block and, once that dam broke, it became easier and easier to get there again. I invested in a wand for myself pretty quickly after that, and it became my go-to toy.

My third and current antidepressant, Sertraline, mercifully hasn’t decreased my libido or decreased my ability to orgasm. When I decided to go back on medication, I made it very clear to my doctor that losing my desire for sex (or my ability to orgasm) again wasn’t an option.

Wand Vibrators As a Tool Against Depression

Despite having finally found an antidepressant that doesn’t kill my libido, my mental health still has an impact on my sexuality. Contrary to popular belief, it’s still possible to feel horny at the same time as being depressed. Sad people need pleasure and orgasms, too! There have also been many times in my life when I haven’t felt horny, but I knew intellectually that an orgasm would make me feel better.

Sometimes, when I’m very very depressed, I feel as though there’s a kind of fog around me. The fog keeps me at least partly disconnected from everything and everyone around me. At its worst, it creates a sense of being somewhat outside and detached from my own body.

In this state, many types of touch that would normally be pleasurable struggle to penetrate the fog. When that happens, I need intense stimulation and lots of it. It’s times like this that I might crave certain BDSM activities even more than usual. It’s also times like this when knock-your-socks-off powerful wand vibes are a godsend. It might be possible to power through to orgasm with a lacklustre, buzzy vibrator but… why bother?

Whether my libido is being killed my antidepressants or decreased by depression itself, a good wand vibrator can wrench an orgasm from my body with very little active input from me. With a powerful enough wand, I basically just put it in the right spot and wait for the orgasm to happen. In this way, I can access pleasure and the positive physical and mental health benefits of orgasm even when I feel so low I don’t want to leave my bed.

What I Learned When Antidepressants Killed My Libido: Sexual Pleasure Matters

When someone is dealing with severe health issues, either physical or mental, it’s often tempting to see sexual pleasure as trivial. Certainly when I spoke to my doctor about antidepressants killing my libido and decreasing my ability to orgasm, they dismissed my concerns. Did I want sex or did I want to not be sad? Because I couldn’t have both.

Except I actually could. I needed and deserved to have both.

If you’re struggling with pleasure or orgasm due to health issues and medication, I want you to hear this: sexual pleasure matters. It’s not trivial and it’s not unimportant. If it’s important to you, then it matters. And you deserve to have what you need to feel sexually satisfied, whether that’s a change of medication, a super powerful vibrator, or just to change up what you’re doing.

Thanks to Honey Play Box for sponsoring this post. All views and experiences are my own!

A woman straddling a man. She is wearing red lingerie and he is unhooking her bra. Text reads: Godemiche Grind Ring Review

[Toy Review] Godemiche Grind Rings

Published on November 22, 2021August 10, 2026 by Amy1 Comment

Back in the day, Godemiche’s Twitter bio said that their goal was “not to break the mold, but recolour it.” Their Ambit is a simple yet near-perfect dildo, and they offer an array of body-safe dildos, plugs, strokers, gags and more in a dizzying array of colours and combinations. But despite this stated aim, the Godemiche Grind Ring really does break a few molds.

In a world of endless knock-offs and derivatives, it is so refreshing when I see sex toy designers doing something genuinely new and innovative. And I have never come across anything quite like the Grind Ring before. But what is a Grind Ring, how does it work, and—most importantly—is it good?

What is a Grind Ring?

A Grind Ring is a piece of silicone shaped a bit like a pizza slice, with a hole designed to fit around the penis or dildo during penetrative sex. Its main purpose is to provide extra external stimulation to a person with a clitoris. Each of these innovative clit grinders has a raised mound covered in one of nine textures.

Each Grind Ring measures 6″ in length and 4.3″ across at the widest point, and feature a stretchy hole for a penis or dildo to fit through at the base.

In Godemiche’s words:

The Grind Ring is a soft textured piece of body safe silicone that’s shaped like a pizza slice with a bulge for grinding. Dare we say it, it’s also more enjoyable then a pizza slice too and way fucking dirtier.

This review covers the original “low grind” Grind Ring in its nine available textures as well as one of the “high grind” variations. There are also Dual Density and Dual Texture Grind Rings available.

So How Does it Work?

Most people with vulvas need sustained clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, which penis-in-vagina intercourse doesn’t always provide. The main purpose of a Grind Ring, as I mentioned above, is to provide that clitoral stimulation during penetrative sex. So, naturally, Mr C&K and I began by testing it that way.

Godemiche Grind Ring silicone sex toy in Bubbles and Waves — Feat. “Bumps” in Aquamarine and “Waves” in Pastel Pearlescent Green

After trying a few different positions, we concluded that by far the most effective way to use this toy was with me on top. This allowed me to effectively grind down against the textured surface. However, any position that involves a lot of close, face-to-face bodily contact works pretty well. Positions with more space between bodies tend to make the Grind Ring flap around and slip out of position.

While using a Grind Ring did not get me to orgasm during penetrative sex (the stimulation was a little too inconsistent for that), it did up the intensity and add a lot of additional pleasure.

Other Ways to Use These Toys

The fun thing about sex toys is that you don’t have to just use them in the way they were originally designed to be used. Wand vibrators on penises or clitoral suckers on nipples, anyone?

The Grind Ring (or any pussy grinder, for that matter) is no different.

Girl on the Net posted a brilliant piece about using it “wrong” (there’s obviously no such thing!) and I was inspired to try her “textured Doxy wank” idea[1].

Doxy Die Cast with Godemiche Bubbles Grind Ring — Feat. Doxy Die Cast

You might also want to try:

Using the Grind Ring as an addition to hand sex, either on yourself or your partner
Placing the Grind Ring underneath you on a chair or other firm surface
Lying on top of the Grind Ring on your bed
Experimenting with positions using pillows, positioning wedges, or toy mounts
Putting a little clitoral balm or stimulating lube on your Grind Ring before you start

Godemiche Hearts Grind Ring with Lovehoney clitoral balm — Pictured with Lovehoney Ignite Pleasure Balm.

[1] Since I initially wrote this review, Godemiche have added textured Doxy and Magic Wand attachment heads to their line-up!

Let’s dive into the review of the various Grind Ring textures.

Godemiche Grind Ring: “Waves”

Godemiche Waves Grind Ring clitoral sex toy

I received the Waves Grind Ring in gorgeous pastel pearlescent green.

This Grind Ring was perhaps the biggest surprise of the range. After feeling how soft its silicone ripples are, I wasn’t sure how much I’d be able to feel them. But when I ground against them, especially when they had a firm surface underneath, they felt like a series of repeated licks from dozens of little silicone tongues. Since the waves are so close together and flex as you rub against them, it offers a smooth, flowing, continuous sensation.

Godemiche Grind Ring: “Bumps”

Godemiche Bumps Grind Ring sex toy for clit

I received this one in Aquamarine, a deep sea-green shade.

The Bumps Grind Ring is the perfect middle ground in terms of intensity compared to others in the range. The little nodules are small and quite close together so whichever way I move against them, several of them are always making contact with my clit from various angles. This one works best for long, slow, back-and-forth movements.

Godemiche Grind Ring: “Bubbles”

Godemiche Grind Ring silicone clitoral stimulator in Bubbles

I received the Bubbles Grind Ring in a shade of watery blue known as “Reefs Water.”

This was actually the first Grind Ring Mr C&K and I tried as an addition to penetrative sex. I had a feeling this one would be gentle, which it was and it wasn’t. This one is ultra smooth and offers a squishy “bounce” when you move against it. Rather than the licking sensation of the Waves or the flicky back-and-forth of the Pills and Spikes, the main sensation of the Bubbles is one of pressure.

Godemiche Grind Ring: “Spikes”

Godemiche Grind Ring clitoral stimulator in Spikes

I received the Spikes Grind Ring in a vibrant shade of orange known as “Dragon’s Breath.”

My first thought when I saw this texture was “eek”. The Spikes Grind Ring looked like it might be too intense for my sensitive clit. As it turns out, that’s the case sometimes but not always. I have to be in a specific mood for the Spikes Grind Ring, and that mood is “craving something so intense it’s almost too much”. It’s not painful, as the silicone is indeed very soft and squishy. It’s just… a lot.

The Spikes Grind Ring creates a teasing, unpredictable flicking sensation. One amazing thing I discovered about this one: if I lay it across my vulva and use a powerful vibrator over the top of it, the tips of the spikes transmit the vibrations in very interesting ways.

Godemiche Grind Ring: “Hearts”

Godemiche Hearts Grind Ring, Valentine's Day sex toy

I knew I wanted my Godemiche Hearts Grind Ring in a Valentine’s-themed colour, so I opted for this shimmery pinkish-red known as “Ruby Rose.”

The Hearts Grind Ring feels somewhat similar to the Bubbles. It offers a similar kind of deep pressure when you grind against it, but the larger and flatter surface of the hearts makes it feel a little less bouncy. Due to the shape of the hearts, I find that this texture is more intense on the downward motion than on the upward motion.

Godemiche Grind Ring: “Pyramids”

Pyramid Spikes and Tall Pyramids Grind Rings from Godemiche — “Pyramids” (left) and “Tall Pyramids” (right)

I received the Pyramids Grind Ring in a green and burgundy/purple swirl colourway called “Garden Party.”

Adam from Godemiche says that the Pyramids Grind Ring texture was “inspired by a belt I happened to see someone wearing while out grocery shopping. It reminded me of my skater boy days when none of my trousers fit and I often opted for a studded belt to keep them around my thighs.” If you can’t picture what he means, think something like this.

I expected the Pyramids to feel a lot like the Spikes, but they don’t. They’re less flexible and, though they’re still soft, they have a firmer texture. The overall sensation is more targeted, deeper, and less “flicky.”

Godemiche Grind Ring: “Tall Pyramids”

Godemiche Spikes and Tall Pyramids Grind Rings — “Tall Pyramids” (right) and “Spikes” (left)

I received the Tall Pyramid Spikes in a reddish-purple shade called “Winter Berry.”

As you can see in the above picture, these tall pyramid spikes are noticeably smaller than those on the Spikes ring. So though that’s probably the closet comparison in terms of sensation, they’re really quite different.

The Tall Pyramids are very soft and very flexible, and they really don’t feel “pointy” at all. You can get a range of sensations from this one: if I grind down hard against it, I get an all-over rubbing sensation, whereas if I support some of my weight and just glide my vulva along it, it’s more of a gentle tickle.

I think I like this texture best because you get constant stimulation as the spikes slide along your vulva. The flicking of the little pyramids feel like dozens of little silicone tongues lapping at and around my clit.

Godemiche Grind Ring: “Pills”

I received the Pills Grind Ring in “Green UV,” one of Godemiche’s brightest shades.

This is perhaps the softest of all the Grind Ring textures, and Godemiche recommends it as a suitable texture for beginners to grinding toy. The Pills texture offers a flicking sensation similar to the Spikes and Tall Pyramids, but far softer. Even when you grind down hard into it, the overall sensation is still pretty light. This one borders on tickly.

I often reach for the Pills Grind Ring at the start of a session because it’s a great warm-up texture.

Godemiche Grind Ring: “Tall Waves”

Godemiche Grind Ring in Tall Waves texture

I received the Tall Waves ring in Godemiche Purple, the company’s signature shade.

The Tall Waves is a twist on the original Waves texture, only with higher ridges. Like the original Waves, this one offers continuous, rhythmic back-and-forth thanks to the softness and close placement of the silicone tongues. This one is soft enough for a long session but intense enough that it usually doesn’t take very long at all to get me off.

High Grind Ring: “Bubbles”

Godemiche’s High Grind Ring variation is different from the original design in one important way: it has “a much larger mound designed to bring the texture even closer to your body while being designed to be comfortable on your genitals.”

Other than that, it’s the same Grind Ring design you know and love. I received the High Grind Ring in the Bubbles texture, which was the only one available at the time. It’s now also available in “Spikes,” “Tall Waves,” and a new texture known as “Suckers.”

Bubbles isn’t a Grind Ring texture I reach for super often as it’s a little too gentle for me. But the more raised style of the High Grind Ring adds a little more of the intensity I was seeking. The silicone mound provides more to grind against and is firm enough to offer significant pressure.

Interestingly, due to the more raised mound, the High Grind provides slightly more focused clitoral pressure and slightly less in terms of broad, all-over vulva stimulation. This isn’t necessarily a good or bad thing. It’s just different, and you should take your own preferences into account when deciding whether the Low Grind or High Grind will work best for you.

Verdict

I still love the absolute fuck out of these toys. They’re innovative, they’re versatile, and they’re shockingly effective.

Totally fucking brilliant. I am obsessed with the Godemiche Grind Rings and I will be shouting about them to anyone who will listen.

Grind Rings start from £39.99. Custom colours, a higher mound, or adding a vibrating “V-Plate” all increase the cost.

Thanks to Godemiche for sending me these toys to review. Affiliate links appear in this post. All views, as ever, are my own.

Header image for Womanizer Premium 2 review

[Toy Review] Womanizer Premium 2

Published on November 3, 2021August 10, 2026 by Amy

Long-time readers might remember my Womanizer Premium review from way back in 2018. Well, did you know that there’s a new Womanizer clitoral stimulator on the market? Enter the new, upgraded Womanizer Premium 2, the subject of today’s review. Whether you’ve seen the Womanizer Premium 2 in porn and are wondering whether it’s worth the money, or you have the original and you’re considering upgrading, you’ll find all the answers here.

Womanizer Premium vs. Premium 2 Reviews: What’s the Difference?

The Womanizer Premium 2 has a lot in common with the original Womanizer Premium. It’s the same size (6.5″ in length) and the same basic design and structure. It features the same tapered body, coated in silky-smooth, body-safe silicone, and the same removable nozzle.

There are two main differences, as follows:

The Womanizer Premium 2 offers 14 speed settings (the Premium has an already-impressive 12).
The “autopilot” mode has been improved and upgraded for the Premium 2.

Surprisingly, they retail for the same price: £169.99 ($199.99).

The Womanizer Premium 2 comes in 5 colourways. Mine is a gorgeous midnight blue with a silver accent. It is fully waterproof, and rechargeable via the included cable, with a full charge giving you over two hours of use.

What’s in the Box?

The Womanizer Premium 2 comes in beautiful, elegant packaging that is reminiscent of the sort of box high-end perfume might come in. If you’re buying the toy as a gift (or a gift to yourself), it definitely has that “luxury” feel.

Womanizer Premium 2 in box for Womanizer Premium review

Womanizer Premium clitoral suction toy in packaging

In the box, alongside the stimulator, you’ll find:

Magnetic USB charging cable
Cotton storage pouch
An extra nozzle in a different size
A quick-start guide
A set of safety instructions

The inclusion of a storage bag is appreciated, and the extra nozzle (presented in a little packet rather fetchingly decorated with vulva drawings!) is a nice inclusion and a nod to the fact that bodies come in different shapes and sizes.

Womanizer Premium extra nozzles in bag with vulva drawing

Coffee & Kink Reviews the Womanizer Premium 2: In Use

The Womanizer Premium 2 is a delight to handle and use. It is comfortable to hold, and the buttons are intuitively placed and easy to push. You might need to try different ways of positioning it to see what works best for your body. For me, I hold it upside down (so with the tapered end facing towards my face) to make contact with my clit from above, but some people find that the other way around, or even a side-on approach, works best. The only right way is the way that works for you!

Thanks to its enormous 14 levels of power, the Womanizer Premium 2 offers very small and incremental speed increases, from the lowest purring rumble to the rip-the-orgasm-from-your-body top setting. If you’re very sensitive, this can be a good way to explore different levels of intensity without getting overstimulated. For me, the sweet spot was between about level 9 and level 13. Anything lower wasn’t intense enough, but the very top was a little too much.

No other suction toy has ever gotten me off as quickly as this one does. The first time I tested it, it took me from zero to orgasm in less than ten minutes. Subsequent attempts have more or less replicated that experience. Of course, it’s possible to drag it out by using lower settings or just backing off from the edge.

I also love Womanizer’s “Smart Silence” feature. This simply means that when the toy is on, the motor only activates when it’s actually against your body. If discretion or being able to stop your toy instantly is important to you, this is a nice feature. I just like it because it means that the Womanizer Premium 2 doesn’t keep buzzing away next to me when I’m grabbing lube or queuing up some audio porn.

The main downside of the Womanizer Premium 2 in use is that it’s a little noisy. It’s quieter than some of my power-tool mains wand vibrators, but definitely significantly louder than my trusty go-to bullet.

About that Autopilot Feature

I didn’t care for the Womanizer 2’s autopilot feature at all, and I’m afraid my assessment still stands. One of the biggest benefits of masturbation is knowing exactly what your body needs and being able to adjust accordingly. Autopilot removes that, and the result is random changes in stimulation that can seriously disrupt

When I tried the autopilot mode, I soon ended up frustrated and annoyed. I switched the toy back to manual mode as soon as I felt I’d given autopilot a fair shot for the sake of writing up this review. Is it better than the original Womanizer Premium’s autopilot feature? Yes. Do I still kind of hate it? Also yes.

Your mileage may vary, of course. If you love unpredictability and being surprised by changes in intensity, the autopilot mode may be a great feature for you. It’s not bad, it’s just not right for me.

Womanizer Premium 2 Review: Verdict

The Womanizer Premium was an excellent clitoral suction toy, and the Premium 2 is a worthy update to that original design. The two extra settings are much appreciated, and the autopilot is noticeably better even if I don’t actually like it.

This is a seriously pricey toy, though you do get bang for your buck (so to speak). If £169.99 is a bit steep for you, the Womanizer Classic (priced at £119.99) and its variations are great alternatives, offering the same sensations, just with fewer settings and no Smart Silence.

Thanks to Womanizer for sending me this product to review. All pictures and all views, as ever, are mine. Affiliate links appear in this post.