Tag: sponsored post

Image featuring a VVD Rider Desire sex machine. Text reads: 5 fun ways to use a ride-on sex machine

5 Fun Ways to Use a Ride-On Sex Machine

Published on by Amy

A ride-on sex machine like the Rider Desire Sex Saddle I reviewed last week, as well as pricier variations such as the Sybian and Cowgirl, is the ultimate wishlist sex toy for a lot of people. They’re certainly unique, offering a kind of stimulation and intensity it can be hard to replicate in other ways. Having been lucky enough to try a couple of different ones and now to own one… let’s talk about them!

What is a Ride-On Sex Machine?

In short, it’s a vibrating toy that you mount or straddle and then thrust or grind against. Most have some kind of interchangeable attachments, most often penetrative toys. Some, like the Rider Desire, can also be used without attachments if clitoral or other external stimulation is more your jam.

(By the way: ride-on sex machines aren’t only for people with vulvas! Anyone who enjoys anal penetration can also use one, regardless of gender or genitals. Some also come with attachments specifically for penises!)

Historically, most ride-on sex machines have been mains-powered. However, rechargeable and cordless versions are now becoming increasingly available, too.

Why Do People Like Them?

As with anything: all kinds of reasons!

As anyone who has ever masturbated by humping their pillow will know, grinding on something can be an intensely pleasurable sensation. A ride-on sex machine kicks that sensation up several notches.

Some people also enjoy the kneeling or straddling position a sex machine offers. For some it will be more comfortable or physically accessible than other positions, while some enjoy the way it mimics the feeling of riding a partner in the so-called “cowgirl” position. The rocking and grinding motion you can get with a saddle sex machine is also more pleasurable than the thrusting motion offered by handheld dildos or traditional “fucking machines” for a lot of users.

Then there’s the kinky potential a ride-on sex machine offers, if you’re into that kind of thing.

5 Fun Ways to Use a Ride-On Sex Machine

If all you ever want to do with your sex machine is ride it and get off, that’s fabulous! Have the best time. But if you’re looking for some additional ideas, here are a few suggestions for fun things you might want to try out with your ride-on sex machine.

Experiment with Different Positions

The “classic” way to use a ride-on sex machine is, of course, the straddling position. But you can get as creative as you like! As always, the only correct way to do it is the way that feels good to you.

Floor hurting your knees? Try putting the machine on the bed or protecting your knees with cushions. Straddling position uncomfortable for your hips or back? Try a seated position with the toy between your legs instead. Lying down with the toy underneath you and grinding against it that way is another option. Does riding it “backwards” feel better for your body?

Experiment and see what feels good. There are no rules here.

Give (or Take) Control with a Partner

Many sex machines, including the Rider Desire, come with a remote control. This isn’t just a convenient way to control the toy without needing to fiddle with manual buttons. You can also use it to hand over control to a partner.

If you’re submissively inclined, you might enjoy your partner taking over and controlling your experience, allowing you to get completely into the moment and just feel the sensations. If you’re more dominant, why not make your submissive partner watch you get off with your machine, changing the settings or speed on your command?

Play with Forced Orgasms

In the context of kink and BDSM, a forced orgasm is a kind of kinky game where the submissive partner is “made” to orgasm while trying not to, sometimes just once and sometimes over and over.

Of course, the term “forced” is a misnomer. As with everything in sex, kink, and BDSM, this must only be done with explicit, enthusiastic consent and it is essential to have a safeword or other way the receiving partner can tap out at any time.

A ride-on sex machine can be a great way to experiment with forced orgasm play as the stimulation is intense and relentless by design. If you want to up the intensity even further, consider experimenting with combining your sex machine with bondage or restraint.

Try to Do Something Else While You Ride

Anyone else remember those kinky video clips of someone trying to read aloud while someone went down on them? You can adapt this concept for use with your sex machine. Try reading aloud, reciting lines, or performing a memory task while you ride the toy and gradually increase the intensity, and see how long you can last.

This is particularly fun if you combine it with power exchange. Perhaps the submissive partner gets punished when they make a mistake?

Combine Your Sex Machine with Other Toys

I already said in my review that my favourite way to use the VVD Rider Desire ride-on sex machine is to use it without any of the internal attachments it comes with. As more of a clitoral stimulation gal than a penetration lover, that’s just what feels best to me.

Absolute gamechanger, though? Pairing the Rider Desire with one of my Grind Pads. You get the powerful vibrations of the Rider Desire combined with the textured stimulation of the grinder.

This works best with a grinder that comes with straps, as these will hold it in place on top of the machine no matter how vigorously you grind.

This post was sponsored by VVD and their Rider Desire ride-on sex machine. All writing and views, as ever, are mine. Header image by VVD.

Close-up on a pair of bondage handcuffs for a post on medical restraints sponsored by Klinik Bondage

[Guest Post] Restraints for Medical Kink: How and Why Do People Use Them in BDSM? by Lorenz Engel

Published on by Amy

I love covering niche kinks here on C&K. From inflation fetishes to ovipositors and much more, I love learning about why people are into the things they’re into. That’s why I’m pleased to be hosting this guest post on medical kink/fetish from Lorenz (he/him), the founder of Klinik Bondage. In it, he shares his unique perspective on medical restraints and the relationship between functionality and desire.

Amy x

Restraints for Medical Kink: How and Why Do People Use Them in BDSM? by Lorenz Engel

Medical kink is a form of erotic roleplay in which participants consensually explore scenarios inspired by clinical or hospital environments. This can include elements like physical exams, medical restraints, latex gloves, or clinical tools—often paired with a strong power dynamic, vulnerability, or the taboo of clinical authority. 

For many, the appeal of this fetish lies in the psychological intensity: the blend of trust, control, and intimacy that comes from simulated “treatment.” Some also enjoy the aesthetic of medical settings, while others find the structure and formality arousing. 

Though comprehensive statistics are limited, the information we do have suggests that medical play is a niche but significant interest in the BDSM community. For example, a 2015 Fetlife user survey by Dr. Brad Sagarin found that around 20% of respondents had engaged in some form of medical fetish play, with many citing its psychological edge and ritualistic nature as central to its appeal.

It is important to note that people with a medical kink do not typically find actual medical treatments arousing. This is an area where fantasy and reality sharply diverge. 

Use of Restraints in Medical Kinks 

People who have a medical kink or fetish sometimes use restraints to enhance the pleasure and power dynamics of these scenarios. For many players, restraints play an integral role in the kink. 

Restraints such as leather cuffs, straps, or handcuffs can be used in role-playing scenarios where the restrained partner submits to the dominant one. The feeling of complete immobilization can make physical sensations more intense and create a more immersive psychological experience. 

As with everything in BDSM and sex, medical play is based on mutual consent. Both/all partners must agree on boundaries, limits, and what activities are and are not on the table. Safewords and clear communication are essential. 

How A Small BDSM Brand is Reinventing This Kink

For years, those interested in medical kink had limited options, often resorting to repurposed hospital equipment or makeshift solutions. However, our small German brand KlinikBondage® has recognized the unique needs of the BDSM community and created purpose-built, high-quality gear for medical players.

At KlinikBondage® we like to think that these key innovations set our products apart:

  • Long-Term Comfort: The restraints are designed for extended wear, with materials that are soft at key pressure points. This prevents discomfort while maintaining immobilization for the submissive partner. 
  • Magnetic Locking System: KlinikBondage® incorporates powerful magnetic locks in our BDSM medical restraints, making them both secure and easy to release with specialized keys. These locks provide an added layer of control, ensuring that only the keyholder can grant freedom. For safety, we strongly recommend always keeping a spare key within reach and never leaving a bound person unattended. Consent, care, and risk mitigation are the foundation of every scene.
  • Customizable Bed Restraints: KlinikBondage® offers a variety of bed restraints that can be adapted to different bed sizes and setups, ensuring a perfect fit for any body and any scene.
  • Premium Materials: Made from high-quality and skin-friendly bio-cotton, our restraints are both durable and washable, making them ideal for long-term play without compromising hygiene or comfort. 

More Than Just a Bed Restraint

While most people associate medical kink restraints with beds, their application in BDSM goes far beyond that. KlinikBondage® offers wrist and ankle cuffs, body harnesses and much more, designed for long-term immobilization, creating a full-body experience that emphasizes helplessness. 

There’s also an increasing interest in self-bondage within medical-themed play. Devices like frost locks—time-release mechanisms using melting ice—allow solo players to experience prolonged immobilization while maintaining an element of safety. The psychological challenge of waiting for release can intensify the experience, adding layers of anticipation and mental endurance.

A word of warning here: solo bondage is a form of edge play and can be dangerous. Never restrain yourself without easy access to a quick-release mechanism for emergencies and a means of calling for help if you need it. And never, ever, ever put any kind of restraint around your neck or do anything to restrict your breathing. 

Exploring the Depths of Control

Medical kink and restraint play in BDSM is not just about physical immobilization—it’s a journey into mental surrender. The feeling of being securely bound in a system designed for absolute stillness can be both calming and intensely erotic. Whether used for roleplay, sensory deprivation, or long-term confinement, medical restraints offer a structured and immersive way to explore deep levels of submission and control. 

More than just a fetish, medical restraints bring a uniquely intense experience of restriction and immobilization to your kinky scenes. 

About the Writer

Lorenz Engel is the founder of KlinikBondage, a German BDSM brand redefining modern fetish aesthetics. With a background in fiber engineering and a deep passion for the kinky community, he’s been pushing the boundaries of fetish aesthetics since 2020.

Heads up: this post contains sponsored links. All content and views are the writer’s own!

BDSM gear on a pink background, header image for a post on the question of "Am I Kinky?"

Am I Kinky? How to Tell and How to Better Understand Your Kinks

Published on by Amy

Some kinksters have always known they were kinky, sometimes from even before they had a word for it. Others come to kink and BDSM later on, after intensely questioning and examining their desires and fantasies. Have you ever agonised over the question “am I kinky?”, wondered if you’re kinky enough to claim the label and call yourself a part of the community, or felt stuck on how to explore your interest in kinky things?

If so, this post is for you.

What is Kinky?

This is where I always like to start when it comes to examining the question of whether a person is kinky: what even is kinky, anyway?

Wikipedia defines kinkiness as “the use of sexual practices, concepts or fantasies that are not conventional.” This general theme continues in other definitions I looked at. Justin Hancock, of sex education platform Bish UK, writes that “‘Kink’ is a set of pleasurable activities that people choose to do together that in other contexts are not pleasurable or usual.” The Cambridge Dictionary definies it as “a strange habit, usually of a sexual nature.”

But these definitions require us to ask ourselves: what is “conventional?” What is “usual?” In order to define what it means to step outside of these “norms”, we have to understand what the norms are in the first place.

Sexual norms, like other societal norms, are inherently subjective and informed by an array of factors from the social and political to the religious. Some people would say that the only “normal” sex to have is married, penis-in-vagina intercourse in the missionary position. Some would say that activities such as oral sex, anal sex, and mutual masturbation are completely “normal” and therefore not kinky. For others, however, having anal sex or masturbating in front of their partner might feel extremely kinky.

Pain is often associated with BDSM, but this isn’t always the case. My friend Violet Grey wrote a great guest blog about how kink isn’t all whips and chains. You don’t need to play with pain at all to be kinky, if you don’t want to. For some people, kink is entirely or mostly psychological. For others, it involves playing with intense or challenging sensations that are not necessarily painful (rope bondage, tickling kinks, and temperature play being just some obvious examples.)

Power play is another facet that often appears in kink, but doesn’t have to. Dominant and submissive dynamics – the D/s in BDSM – are one way to play with kink, but they are not essential to it. For example, some people enjoy sadomasochism (the consensual giving and receiving of pain) without any element of power imbalance.

Then there’s fetishism, which involves a sexual response to an item, body part, or activity that is not traditionally viewed as sexual. Foot fetishes, material fetishes (such as latex or rubber), and watersports (playing with pee) are just some examples of common fetishes. But do you need to have a fetish to be kinky? Nope!

I realise this might not be very helpful. I realise I’m offering lots of things that being kinky might mean, but no hard and fast litmus test. But that’s also part of the beauty of kink. You get to define what it means to you and for you.

Do you fantasise about, or take part in, sexual or sensual acts that feel in some way unconventional or “outside the norm” to you? If so, you might be kinky!

Am I Kinky Enough to Call Myself Kinky?

If you take nothing else from this piece, I hope you’ll remember this: there’s no such thing as “kinky enough”.

Much like queerness, ultimately the only test is “do you identify as kinky?” If so, then congratulations! You’re kinky! It’s also fine to take part in the community even if you’re not yet sure if you’re kinky, by the way. We’ll talk about this a bit more later on.

You don’t need to be into the most extreme things imaginable to call yourself kinky. Everyone has unique preferences, desires, limits, and boundaries. You also don’t need to be constantly trying out the next new hardcore thing! If the only kinky thing you ever want to do is get tickled with feathers, or have your wrists cuffed to the headboard during sex, or spank your lover? You’re kinky enough!

I can’t promise you won’t encounter any gatekeeping in the kink community. Sadly you might. After all, kink scenes are made up of people and people are sometimes dickheads. However, the vast majority of the people you meet will likely be completely lovely and non-judgemental. If anyone judges you for not being extreme enough or says that your kink isn’t really a kink, feel enormously free to ignore them. Or tell them to fuck off. That’s fun too.

6 Ways to Better Understand Your Kinks

If you think you could be kinky, you might already know exactly what you’re into. You might also have only a vague sense… or absolutely no idea yet! Whatever is true for you, it’s all fine. In this section, I’ll give you a few ideas for ways you can explore your kinky identity further and develop a deeper understanding of your kinks.

Take a BDSM Test

A BDSM test is an online quiz that asks you a series of questions to help you determine your kink identity, role, interests, or archetype. It can be a great place to start your explorations.

Remember that a BDSM test is supposed to be a guide, not Gospel. If your result doesn’t feel quite right for you, then that’s also useful information you can take forward. It can also be useful to revisit your BDSM test of choice every year or two. Chances are your preferences will evolve and your results might change, too. Mine certainly have!

Do a Yes/No/Maybe List

Yes/No/Maybe lists are checklists of all kinds of kinky activities. The idea is that you go through the list and indicate whether you’re a “yes”, a “no”, or a “maybe” to doing each thing. Some lists also have a column where you can indicate your level of interest and/or level of experience with each activity. They’re a great place to start exploring what types of kinky play might interest you. They can also help you to identify the things you absolutely don’t want to do, which is equally useful.

Yes/No/Maybe lists can be particularly useful tools in negotiating kinky play or relationships. If you and your partner or prospective partner complete the same list, you can then compare your results to find out where your interests overlap.

You can find numerous free Yes/No/Maybe lists online. I like this one by Bex Talks Sex!

Consume Erotic Content

Erotic content such as ethical porn, written erotica, and audio erotica can be great ways to explore your interest in kink, whether you consume it alone or with a partner. If you consume a wide array of content you might even discover new things that interest you!

Remember: porn and erotica are entertainment, not instruction. They can help you to understand your kinks, but they are not a blueprint for how to do it in real life. Finding something hot in fiction also doesn’t mean you need to do it in real life. If you have a fantasy that you’d prefer stayed a fantasy, that is completely valid.

Get Involved in Your Local Kink Community

Wherever you are in your personal kink journey, there are so many great reasons to seek out your local community.

Firstly, you’ll make friends. Kinky friends can be utterly invaluable, particularly when you’re new and exploring. It’s considered poor etiquette to treat kink spaces as your personal cruising grounds, but if you’re looking for a partner or play partner then making authentic connections and building a solid reputation in the kinky community is a great place to start.

Being active in your local community is the best way to find out about events, get vetted, and get invited to awesome play parties!

You’ll also learn a lot. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about kinksters in my 16 years “on the scene” it’s that we’re fucking nerds. Want to enthuse about your favourite kinky thing? Desperate to show off your gorgeous new custom flogger or eager to learn how to tie someone up safely? The kink community is where you can make the kinds of friends who will relish these interactions.

Start by heading out to your local munch or finding a class on a kinky activity that interests you.

Talk About Your Fantasies

If you have a partner or partners, talking about your fantasies can help you both/all to learn more about your kinks. Talking about fantasies can be a safe way to ease into trying them out. It can also be a hot precursor to sex.

Want to talk about your kinks but don’t have a partner to do it with? Try joining some discussion groups for your interests on Fetlife or paying a professional phone sex/cyber sex provider to engage in some dirty talk with you.

Try Things Out

Sometimes there’s no substitute for just trying something to see if you like it. If you think you might be into a particular kink, why not grab a consenting partner and give it a go? (You can also explore many elements of BDSM alone, by the way, but that’s a subject for another post!)

Do your research beforehand so you know how to stay safe. Establish a safeword or safe signal. Discuss desires, hard and soft limits, and boundaries. Go as slowly as you need to. Most importantly, check in regularly and communicate with your partner or partners at every stage. Grab a beginners’ bondage kit to start trying things out without spending a fortune.

And remember: kink and BDSM is a journey. You don’t need to have all the answers now or ever. Evolving, growing, changing, and reevaluating is part of the deal and part of the fun. Let the adventure take you where it will!

This post was kindly sponsored by Fetish.com and their BDSM test! All views and writing are, as always, mine.

Header image for a post about things to consider before you buy a sex machine

5 Things to Consider Before You Buy a Sex Machine

Published on by Amy

Compared to other toy categories such as vibrators, dildos, and strokers, sex machines (AKA fucking machines) are a relatively niche corner of the sex toy market. This is partly due to cost; choosing to buy a sex machine can be a major financial investment, costing hundreds to thousands of dollars. They can also take up a lot of space.

Even so, sex machines have an enduring fan base and seem to have grown in popularity and prevalence in recent years.

A sex machine is simply a machine designed to simulate sex with a partner, particularly penetrative vaginal or anal sex. You attach a toy – such as a dildo or masturbator – to the mechanism, and the machine then thrusts back and forth. Many machines have additional features such as an adjustable angle, adjustable speeds, remote control or app-control functionality, programmable settings, space to add an external vibrator such as a wand, and more.

Many people enjoy sex machines because you can enjoy them hands-free and because they can provide a more immersive, lifelike sensation compared to other types of toys.

So if you’re thinking about making the leap, what do you need to know before you buy a sex machine?

Space Concerns

Sex machines vary in size, but even the smaller ones are much bigger than your typical hand-held sex toy. Before you buy a sex machine, always make sure you have the space for the model you’re considering. This means making sure you have a safe and spacious place to set it up and use it, but also that you have somewhere to store it if you’re not going to have it set up permanently.

If you live in a small apartment, need to be discreet, or have limited storage space available, you might want to consider one of the small sex machine models on the market. Take measurements of your space, and triple check before you click the “buy” button. Don’t forget to think about practicalities such as easy access to a power socket to plug your machine into, too.

Budget

How much a sex machine costs varies enormously. The most basic models can cost under $100, while high end sex machines can run into thousands of dollars. Before you start shopping, decide what kind of budget you’re comfortable with.

In general, cheaper machines will be more basic and have fewer features. However, they might still suit your needs just fine if you’re on a budget. If you’re looking for extras such as remote or app controls or greater levels of personalisation/adjustability, you can expect to pay more.

Don’t forget to account for dildos or other attachments, lube, positioning aids, travel or storage cases, or whatever other extras you might need as well as the machine itself.

Comfort and Positioning

Learning how to use a sex machine comfortably and pleasurably can take some practice. One thing you’ll need to figure out is the most comfortable and practical positions in which to use it.

Many people find that it is easiest to use a sex machine while reclining on their back on a bed, or face down in a “doggy style” position. Others prefer to use another surface such as a couch or spanking bench to achieve the desired position. Positioning aids such as sex furniture, sex position wedges, and sex swings can also be a great option, as can add-ons for your machine designed to adjust its height or angle to suit you.

Before you buy a sex machine, think about how you will actually use it in practice.

Another aspect of comfort in use is stroke length. This simply means how far back and forth the toy moves when the machine is switched on. A longer stroke length will give you deeper penetration, while a shorter stroke length will give you shallower penetration. Some machines offer adjustable stroke length, while others are fixed at one particular length.

Toy Compatibility

Some sex machines come with a dildo (or several) included. Others don’t have toys included and you will need to buy these separately. Sex machine attachments don’t stop at standard dildos, either. You can also get fantasy toys, ejaculating or squirting dildos, anal toys, masturbation sleeves, and much more.

Your sex machine will be compatible with toys using a certain attachment type, and this can vary between manufacturers and machine models. This may mean you won’t be able to use your existing toys with your new sex machine, or you may need to buy an adaptor to enable you to do so. Always check before you buy a sex machine to make sure that your toys are compatible or that you can get toys that will work for you and fit your chosen machine.

Whatever toys you choose, make sure you opt for body-safe materials. 100% silicone is best!

Aesthetic

You might not care at all what your sex machine looks like. On the other hand, you might care a lot! Perhaps you want a machine that feels like “you”, or something that ties in with the decor of your bedroom, home dungeon, or other playspace.

Sex machines are available in numerous different designs and colours. So whether you’re looking for sleek black or silver, hot pink, or something more unusual like red, gold or blue, there’s sure to be a machine that suits your preferred aesthetic.

Ready to Buy a Sex Machine?

Hismith, whose links are included within this post, sell sex machines of various sizes and designs, at a range of prices from $95 up to $1999. They also sell dildos, masturbators, anal toys, and various other attachments and accessories to go with their machines. Check out their extensive catalogue of products!

Thanks to Hismith for sponsoring this post! All views and writing, as always, are mine.

Header image for post about Nothosaur custom sex toys

Creating Your Dream Custom Sex Toys with Nothosaur

Published on by Amy

What does your perfect fantasy sex toy look like? You might have ideas about the shape and design, size, softness or firmness, colour, and more. Nothosaur, who have already featured on the site several times previously, offer custom sex toys with various options across their fantasy range, helping you to craft the perfect dildo or other toy for your desires.

For something a bit different today, they have invited me to check out and review their customisation process.

Why Choose Custom Sex Toys?

Custom sex toys are generally more expensive than their off-the-shelf counterparts, so why would you choose a custom toy? In short, because this way you can get exactly what you want from a product.

How many times have I written a review in which I say “this toy would be perfect if only…” [“…it were shorter/girthier/softer/firmer/more flexible/etc.”]? I imagine you’ve thought the same about toys in the past. A custom toy allows you to have complete control over all those factors.

Some people enjoy having a toy that is one-of-a-kind, knowing that no-one else has one quite like it. This can be particularly true for people who view a toy as a kind of extension of their body; for example, if you’re someone who has strap-on sex, your dildo might essentially become your penis while you’re using it. It follows that you’d want to get something that really feels like you.

A custom sex toy can also make an amazing gift for a partner or lover. If you know the person and their preferences well enough, you can get something perfectly crafted just for them. Alternatively, why not spend a fun and sexy date night designing and ordering your perfect toy together?

Custom Sex Toys with Nothosaur

Creating a custom dildo, butt plug, grinder, or other toy with Nothosaur is easy. You just need to go through four simple steps, which we’ll look at in detail in this section.

Choosing Your Base Toy

The first step is to choose your base product, which you can then customise. Nothosaur’s extensive range includes tentacle dildos, ejaculating dildos, ovipositors, dragon dildos and other fantasy creature designs, and much more.

You might already have a clear idea of what you’re after, or you might not be sure. Pay attention to things like overall shape, texturing, and any additional features that are important to you (such as a large base, harness compatibility, or an ejaculation tube.) Aesthetics matter, too, but ignore colours for now because we’re going to customise those later in this process! Instead, think about what overall look or vibe speaks to you.

Though I’m not an Astrology Queer, my personal faves right now are the Zodiac collection just for how pretty and unusual they are.

Choosing Your Size

Once you’ve selected your base toy, it’s time to choose your size. Most Nothosaur toys come in a range of sizes, with anything from two to six options to pick from.

One unfortunate but pervasive belief about sex toys (like penises) is that bigger automatically equals better. This just isn’t true. Now perhaps giant toys are your thing! In which case, go nuts and pick the biggest size available. On the other hand, you might find very large insertables uncomfortable, painful, or just plain impractical to use. If so, choose a smaller product.

All Nothosaur toys have exact measurements for all sizes listed in the image gallery on the product pages. I highly recommend getting out a tape measure or ruler and checking the sizes before you make your selection so that you don’t end up with something far larger or far smaller than you expected.

Example of Nothosaur custom sex toys sizing breakdown
Example taken from toy “Graemen“

Pro tip: pay at least as much attention to girth as to length when you’re choosing an insertable toy. If a toy is too long for you, you can just use part of the shaft. If it’s too wide, though, you might not be able to use it at all.

Choosing Your Firmness Level

Next, you need to choose the firmness level of your toy. Not all Nothosaur toys have customisable firmness (ovipositors don’t, for example, as they are hollow) but the majority do. Most are available in soft, medium or firm, while some are available only in medium or firm. Nothosaur ships medium firmness toys by default, unless you choose a different option.

Ultimately, the firmness you choose is a matter of preference. Do you like your toys soft and squishy, or firm and rigid? Softer toys will generally be easier to use and insert than firmer toys, so can be a good choice for beginners. Smaller toys generally feel softer than larger ones, and those that are very girthy will also feel harder. For toys that stand up on their own, choosing medium or firm will give them a more stable base.

Nothosaur recommends soft or medium firmness if you’re wanting to do depth training with your toy for safety reasons.

Choosing Your Custom Colourway

Now we get to the really fun part: making your toy look pretty!

Each Nothosaur toy has a default suggested colourway (or several), which you can choose. There are also an array of pre-set colour schemes available across many products. Personally I think “fairy” is probably the prettiest.

None of them quite calling to you? Then you can select “custom mode” and transform your toy to look exactly the way you want it to. You have seven types of custom colourways to choose from:

  • Solid: a single colour
  • Covered: an effect with one colour layered over another
  • Fade 2 colour: the top colour fades gradually into the bottom colour
  • Marble 2 colour: 2 colours swirled together
  • Marble 3 colour: 3 colours swirled together
  • Split 2 colour: the top is one colour, the base another
  • Split 3 colour: the top, middle, and base are each a different colour

There are 56 colours to choose from in total. Depending on the style you choose, you’ll then be prompted to select one, two, or three colours.

Nothosaur custom sex toys colour selection example
Example colour selection for “Fade 2 colour” style

Some very quick phone maths tells me that with these seven colourway options and 56 colours, that gives you over 18,000 possible combinations. And that’s without including Nothosaur’s suggested colourways or any of the other customisation options. In other words, your toy is sure to be unlike anyone else’s.

You can read more about the custom colour process and check out the colour guide to get inspired.

Adding Extras

Some Nothosaur toys (and some sizes) have additional customisation options available. For example, many of the products allow you to add a vac-u-lock hole and/or adaptor so that you can use your toy with a sex machine. Alternatively, you can stick with the default suction cup base, which allows you to affix your toy to any firm flat surface.

Finally, you can add any extras to your purchase, such as a bottle of lube or a drawstring storage bag for your toy.

And you’re done! It’s time to check out and wait for your custom toy to arrive. Make sure you triple-check everything before you pay, as custom orders are final and non-refundable once production of your toy has started.

How easy was that?

Thanks to Nothosaur for sponsoring this post. All views, as always, are mine. I’ll be back in January with a review of a custom toy I’ve designed using this process!

Nothosaur Zodiac sex toys write-up header image

Introducing Nothosaur’s Zodiac Sex Toys Range

Published on by Amy

Despite its immense popularity in many queer circles, I’m really not much of an astrology person. I don’t read my horoscope regularly. I think the ways in which the traits attributed to my sign relate to me are broadly coincidental. And I certainly don’t rely on birth charts to tell me whether someone I’m dating is a good fit for me or whatever. (Though I once did one with a woman I was seeing just for fun. The chart told us we were far more compatible than we actually ended up being! Go figure.)

Even so, lots of people are super into astrology and I think it can be fun and harmless as long as you don’t take it too seriously or rely on it exclusively as a way to make important decisions.

Nothosaur Zodiac sex toys

But what about picking a sex toy based on your sign? Nothosaur has recently introduced a range of Zodiac-inspired sex toys to their range and, even for a cynic like me, they’re absolutely gorgeous. Each one is based around a mythical character or some aspect of this mythological fantasy world Nothosaur has created, with traits corresponding to the relevant sign.

Products are available for 10 of the 12 signs. So you’re stuck on what toy to pick, why not let the stars guide you? There are currently no products in the range for Sagittarius or Gemini. Hopefully these will be added in due course!

All the toys in the Zodiac range, like all Nothosaur toys, are made of premium quality body-safe silicone. Most are available in a range of sizes, customizable firmness levels, and colourways.

Let’s have a look at each of them in turn.

♈ Aries (Ram): March 21–April 19

Aries Zodiac sex toy from Nothosaur

According to believers, people born under Aries tend to be confident, passionate, energetic, and loyal. They are natural leaders but can also be impulsive and hot-headed.

Nothosaur’s Aries character is desribed as a sincere and honest shepherd who is also hot and full of passion. His penis is like a sculpture, based around the ♈ Aries symbol turned upside down. Wider at the bottom, the Aries dildo is richly textured with curves and swirls based on Aries’ horns, rising to a bulbous head at the top.

♉ Taurus (Bull): April 20–May 20)

Taurus Zodiac sex toy from Nothosaur

Tauruses are thought to be stable, dependable, and mature as well as highly sensual. However, they can also be jealous and materialistic.

Nothosaur’s Taurus is described as “a sexual gladiator who flaunts his lust in the Colosseum”, proud yet also charming. The Taurus dildo features a bulging shaft that widens to a broad head adorned with several ring piercings. In the recommended gold shade, and with the coins around the base, it suggests wealth, success, and status.

♋ Cancer (Crab): June 22–July 22

Cancer Zodiac sex toy from Nothosaur

The sign of Cancer is associated with emotionality, nurturance, creativity, and sensitivity. Cancers are thought to be romantics, highly loyal but also prone to rapid changes in mood.

Nothosaur’s Craboo, based on the sign of Cancer, is a “loyal and rambunctious sea prodigal” known for its sincerity and loyalty. The two-pronged Craboo toy, with one fixed and one flexible arm, represent the claws of a crab and offer unparalleled dual insertable stimulation. Ideal for those looking for a combined vaginal/anal toy.

♌ Leo (Lion): July 23–August 22

Leo Zodiac sex toy from Nothosaur

Leo, or the lion constellation, is associated with traits such as confidence, generosity, enjoying the limelight, and a fiercely protective streak towards loved ones.

Nothosaur’s Leo is a hunter who seeks out not food, but sex. Long and flexible, the Leo toy is based on this creature’s tongue. Adorned with bumps and lifelife vein detailing, this one-size toy is long but relatively slender, perfect for those who prefer girth over length and prefer some flex to their insertable toys.

♍ Virgo (Virgin): August 23–September 22

Virgo Zodiac sex toy from Nothosaur
Virgo Zodiac sex toy from Nothosaur
Virgo Zodiac sex toy from Nothosaur

Astrology believers describe Virgos as perfectionist, detail-oriented, and analytical. Described as helpful and modest, Virgos are also thought to have tendencies towards being overly critical, stubborn, and uptight.

Nothosaur’s Virgo range includes three toys. The Virgo dildo is inspired by Persephone, the goddess of youth, and consists of several pairs of overlapping folded angel wings. Virgo’s Throne is a masturbator that wraps the user’s penis in these folds, while Virgo’s Gaze is a clitoral grinder based on their texture.

♎ Libra (Balance): September 23–October 23

Libra Zodiac sex toy from Nothosaur

The sign of Libra is all about balance, fairness, and harmony. Libras are describes as fair-minded, diplomatic, and natural peacemakers, though they can also be indecisive and hesitant.

Nothosaur’s Libra is a catlike creature, handsome but prone to overthinking. The Libra dildo, like the sign it is based on, is all about balance. Girthy towards the centre then slimmer towards the top, it is also heavily textured on one side and smoother on the other. It has a slight curve and some flexibility. Perfect for those who want the best of all words.

♏ Scorpio (Scorpion): October 24–November 21

Scorpio Zodiac sex toy from Nothosaur

Scorpios are described as passionate people who feel their feelings intensely. Resourceful, brave, and independent are some of the positive words associated with them. The negatives include jealousy, stubbornness, and a tendency to keep secrets.

Nothosaur’s Scorpio is a secretive and passionate man who wants to be loved but isn’t afraid to use his stinger to defend himself if necessary. The curving shaft of the Scorpio dildo, based on this stinging tail, features a hard exterior adorned with a unique bumpy texture. The four protruding “muscles” add a little extra friction during use.

♑ Capricorn (Goat): December 22–January 19

Capricorn Zodiac sex toy from Nothosaur

Some describe Capricorns as hard-working, ambitious, and practical. They are known for being honest, sensitive, and committed, but also pessimistic and proud.

Nothosaur’s Capricorn is a creature with the head of a gazelle, and a body resembling a fish. Seductive and sexual, he is also a symbol of creativity, music and poetry. The Capricorn dildo is based on a horn, descending down to a fishtail with scale detailing towards the base. The small hooked tip make insertion easy, while the gentle knot in the centre provides a light feeling of pleasurable stretching.

♒ Aquarius (Water Bearer): January 20–February 18

Aquarius Zodiac sex toy from Nothosaur

The ultimate water sign, Aquarians are thought to be clever, analytical, innovative, and honest. They are also said to be progressive, and to trend towards a rebellious nature.

The Aquarius toy is based on the waters surrounding Nothosaur’s fantasy world where its mythical creatures live. Like the water sign it is based on, the silicone of the Aquarius dildo seems to flow, giving an almost liquid appearance. The bumps along the shaft mimic rising waves, and the top of the fountain spills over with stimulating ripples.

♓ Pisces (Fish): February 19–March 20

Pisces Zodiac sex toy from Nothosaur

Last but not least in the Zodiac sex toys line-up, we have Pisces. Pisces are described as passionate, intuitive, and creative, fast to forgive and quick at making friends. Their negative traits are said to include being moody, closed off, and indecisive.

The Pisces dildo is inspired by Aphrodite, the goddess of sexuality, and with a texture based on rippling ocean waves. With its thick shaft, scales, and protruding seaweed finger, the Pisces offers numerous different sensations to explore.

Nothosaur Zodiac sex toys

Thanks to Nothosaur for sponsoring this post! You can buy all toys in the Zodiac range using my affiliate links in this post. All product images are by Nothosaur.

Header image for a post on home dungeon design: a bondage bed with black leather handcuffs on chains and a St Andrews cross on the wall behind

Bondage Bed, Suspension Points, and More: 8 Things I’d Want in My Dream Home Dungeon

Published on by Amy

Did you see that Netflix series How to Build a Sex Room? Like millions of other kinksters, I watched it and it got me thinking about what my own “sex room” might look like. In a world where I had a much bigger house than I do and an unlimited interior design budget, one of the first things I’d do would be to construct a badass playroom or home dungeon. And of course, from a bondage bed and spanking bench to suspension points and toy storage solutions, I’ve put a lot of thought into this concept and what I’d want to include.

It goes without saying that you don’t need tonnes of amazing kit to do BDSM. Your first and best tool in constructing scenes is your imagination. But one of the reasons I enjoy going to clubs and public play spaces is to use the kit I don’t have access to at home. I suspect the same is true for a lot of kinksters who play at clubs, dungeons and parties.

So just for fun, let’s do a little kink-meets-interior-design. If I could build my dream home dungeon, what would I put in it?

Suspension Points

Suspension points are absolutely essential if you want to do any kind of shibari or bondage that includes someone coming off the ground. You can get portable suspension frames (I actually have one in bits in my spare room right now!) but properly ceiling-mounted hard points are safer, more space-efficient, and less effort to set up.

Suspension points (AKA hard points) aren’t just for rope, either. You can also use them for other things, such as mounting a sex swing.

Speaking of which…

A Sex Swing

Sex swings are so versatile. They allow you to get into all kinds of positions safely and comfortably that would not otherwise be possible. They’re great for trying out different positions for penetrative sex (either with a bio-cock or a strap-on) but you can also use them for oral sex, kink scenarios, and more.

I actually own a door-mounted sex swing, but it has never come out of its packaging for the simple reason that I do not trust the structural integrity of my very old house’s doors that much. It feels like a recipe for injury. So a proper sex swing that I could mount on safe, load-rated hard points would be amazing.

A Bondage Bed

The awesome thing about bondage beds is they’re not just one thing. Despite the name, a bondage bed can also be a table or flat surface, a restraint rack, an alternative to a St Andrews cross for standing impact play, and much more. You can even use it in conjunction with other items of dungeon furniture to create just about anything your kinky heart desires. For example, why not add a toy mount or a wand harness, which can hold a toy in place against the bottom’s body while keeping the top’s hands free to do other things?

The possibilities are limited only by your imagination, your and your partner’s boundaries, and the laws of physics. A good bondage bed will also be able to accommodate all body types, no matter your size or weight.

I’d love a customisable bondage bed for my home dungeon. I think I’d really enjoy getting cuffed to it for a flogging, or using it with the toy mount for edging and denial scenes. Given the size, it would also be ideal for group scenes. I think it would be super fun to cuff two submissives to it in a face to face position, making them each watch what’s happening to the other one. Exhibitionism, voyeurism, anticipation, and a little light fear play all in one… fun, no?

A Spanking Bench

The humble spanking bench always seems to be one of the most-used bits of kit whenever I go to a dungeon or play party. A spanking bench allows the bottom to hold a bent-over position for impact play more easily. It can help the bottom to stay comfortable and prevent them moving around too much, give the top a clear spot to aim for, and enhance feelings of vulnerability and humiliation if you’re into that.

My ideal spanking bench would be one of those lovely wooden, leather-padded ones that comes with built-in restraints for the wrists, ankles, and upper body.

A Bondage Wheel

One of my favourite local dungeons has one of these, and I absolutely love it. It’s a padded, wall-mounted wheel with restraints to strap a person to in an upright position. You can then tilt it in any direction, or even spin it all the way around.

Bondage wheels are fun for all kinds of reasons. You can immobilise your partner and move them around at will to try out different activities or reach different parts of their body. If disorientation is something you like to play with, combining a bondage wheel with sensory deprivation play can create a very intense experience.

They’re also a fun way to experiment with inversion (being upside down) in a way that you can get out of in seconds if you need to.

Wall-Mounted Toy Storage

When designing the perfect kinky play space, practicality is at least as important as aesthetics. To that end, I’d make use of wall-mounted toy storage solutions.

I have to credit sex and mental health writer JoEllen Notte for the genius idea of using a wall-mounted wine rack to store wand vibrators. I’d love to display my wands this way in my hypothetical home dungeon! (JoEllen is also the person who gave me the idea of repurposing door-hanging shoe holders with multiple pockets, which I now use to store both my sex toys and my hair and beauty products!)

I’d also love to have some beautiful wooden or metal hooks on the walls to store my floggers, paddles, and other large impact toys as well as coils of rope and cuff sets.

Erotic Art & Decor

I have a growing collection of erotic art in my office and bedroom, from shibari-themed embroidery to a sapphic BDSM print to an incense holder shaped like a vulva. I’d love to expand this collection a lot more, and I feel like my home dungeon would be the perfect place to show this off. My dream would be to invest in commissioning my favourite kinky and sex-positive artists to create some custom work for the space.

As far as colour schemes, I’m thinking dark wood furniture and splashes of dark plum purple and rich teal green. Less “red room of pain” and more “high-end hotel suite… but make it kinky.”

Aftercare Corner

Aftercare is one of the most crucial parts of a good kink scene. Good aftercare helps the players to ground, regroup, and connect to each other again as equal humans after intense play. My dungeon would have a cosy aftercare corner with a comfortable sofa, warm blankets, and maybe a mini-fridge well stocked with water and snacks for a post-play pick-me-up.

What would you want in your home dungeon?

FYI: this post was sponsored. All views and writing are, as always, my own.

Header image for AcmeJoy sponsored post about thrusting sex toys

Thrusting Sex Toys: What, Why, and How to Choose The Right One for You

Published on by Amy

Based on how often I get asked for recommendations and how many companies are now making them, thrusting sex toys are seriously popular. That’s why I was excited to team up with AcmeJoy to bring you this guide on all things thrusting dildos, thrusting butt plugs, sex machines, and much more!

What Are Thrusting Sex Toys?

Thrusting toys are toys containing a motor that allow them to make a back-and-forth motion without the user needing to thrust manually. In other words, they mimic the feeling of penetrative sex with a partner.

Who Are Thrusting Sex Toys For?

In short, anyone who enjoys the sensation of having something thrusting into them. Most thrusting toys are aimed primarily at people with vulvas, but many of them are also totally safe to use anally, if that’s your thing. You could even use one orally, if you wanted.

A lot of people opt for thrusting toys as opposed to manual toys because, depending on the exact design and configuration, you can often use them hands-free. This both provides an experience that is more akin to having penetrative sex with a partner, and also frees up your hands to do other things.

What Kind of Thrusting Toys Are There?

There are numerous kinds of thrusting toys on the market. Search “thrusting” on any large sex toy retailer’s site and you’ll likely be met with at least a few different options. In this section I’ve broken down the main four categories of thrusting toys, though there is a lot of variation within each of these.

Some thrusting toys also vibrate, others don’t. Some offer different “patterns” of thrusting as well as the simple back-and-forth. Others feature rotating, heating, or other additional types of stimulation that you can play with. And, if you’re willing to pay a bit extra, you can even get thrusting toys that are app-controlled.

Sex Machines

Sex machines, AKA fucking machines, are large and usually freestanding devices that have a thrusting arm with a dildo or other toy attached. Fucking machines are popular, but they are also generally very expensive. And, for those with limited storage space or who are concerned about discretion, they’re pretty large and obvious. They can also be quite loud.

Thrusting Dildos

Thrusting dildos are like smaller, handheld versions of fucking machines. They come in all kinds of shapes and sizes, may or may not vibrate as well as thrusting, and may have other features such as balls or a suction cup.

Thrusting Rabbits

Thrusting rabbits are toys with a vibrating arm for clitoral stimulation and an insertable arm that thrusts. They are a popular alternative to traditional rabbit vibrators for those who enjoy a thrusting sensation internally rather than vibrations. (Though they do sometimes vibrate as well.)

Thrusting Anal Toys

Thrusting anal toys seem to be gaining in popularity. This category includes things like thrusting butt plugs and thrusting prostate massagers.

Thrusting Masturbators

Finally, we have thrusting masturbators for people with penises. These toys envelop part or all of your penis, then move up and down it in a thrusting motion designed to mimic the feeling of having penetrative sex with a partner.

How to Choose the Right Thrusting Toy for You

With so many thrusting sex toys on the market, how do you know which one to choose? There are a few factors you might want to take into consideration.

You may already have an idea whether you are looking for a toy for your vagina, penis, anus, or some combination of the above. First, always choose a toy made of a body-safe material. For a thrusting toy, this likely means 100% silicone. Avoid anything made of gel, jelly, rubber, PVC, latex, TPE/TPR, soft plastic, and so on. The one exception to this is that TPE/TPR is okay for external-only toys (e.g. penis masturbators) as long as you don’t expect them to last forever. If you are going to use the toy anally, it must also have a flared base for safety.

Next, think about the size and shape that works for you. Despite what certain marketing claims and mainstream porn will tell you, bigger isn’t always better when it comes to penetrative toys. Instead of choosing the most enormous toy you can find, think about what sort of size is likely to actually work for you. Don’t forget about the length of the trust, too. Some people enjoy long and deep thrusting, while others find it painful or uncomfortable. If you’re in the latter category, a toy with a shorter thrust length will work better. In terms of shape and design, do you want heavily textured, slightly textured, or smooth? Curved or straight?

Aesthetics can be important, too. Do you want a realistic, semi-realistic, or non-realistic toy? If you’re going for realism, do you want the toy to match your or your partner’s skin tone as closely as possible or don’t you care? If you’re going for non-realistic, what kinds of colours or styles appeal to you instead?

Finally, think about what additional features are important to you. Do you want a warming toy for a more realistic experience? Are you willing to pay extra for remote control or app control functionality? Do you want a suction cup, a harness-compatible base, vibrations?

As with choosing any type of toy, getting to know your own body and preferences will help you to choose the best thrusting sex toys for you. Reading reviews is also a great way to understand more about how different toys function and what users like and dislike about them.

Thanks to AcmeJoy for sponsoring this post. All writing and views are, as always, mine.

Header image featuring keys in a range of sizes for a guest post from Total Chastity

[Guest Post] What Does “Total Chastity” Mean to You?

Published on by Amy

I’ve written for Total Chastity a couple of times before, and this time their team pitched me a guest post of their own! They decided to poll their customers on what “total chastity” means to them. The results are quite enlightening, so I’ll hand you over to them to tell you all about it!

Amy x

What Does “Total Chastity” Mean to You?

Running a male chastity[1] website gives us the opportunity to interact with a huge range of submissives, Dominants, and Mistresses. While we’re all here for similar reasons, each individual in the fetish community is different. Even our name, Total Chastity, invokes all kinds of ideas and fantasies for different people, so we thought it would be fun to ask the question:

“What does “total chastity” mean to you?”

Here are some of the responses we got.

[1] “Male chastity” is the term commonly used to refer to a person with a penis being locked up in a chastity cage. However, this is a bit of a misnomer as not everyone with a penis–or who enjoys this kink–is a man

“Total Chastity Means Being Locked 24/7”

Permanent chastity was one of the most common answers we got when we quizzed our customers. The idea of chastity totally taking over your life is a common one within the fetish, and many submissives aspire to reach this despite the difficulty for most people.

“Even when I was just getting started, being locked all the time was the goal. It’s harder than you think to pull off though. There’s always a day where you’re uncomfortable or don’t feel up to it. I’m still not there yet but I don’t feel like I’ll be doing “Total Chastity” until I am.”

While the idea of permanent chastity can be a tantalising carrot for many submissives, it’s not something you should dive straight into. We advise starting with small periods of time wearing the cage and increasing them gradually. Even if you need to take the cage off at night, but wear it throughout the day, you shouldn’t feel like a failure.

It’s also important to be aware of the safety implications of wearing a chastity cage long term. We like this piece by Dan Savage in which he consulted with a urologist on how to do chastity safely. 

“Total Chastity Means Having a Mistress”

While we always encourage those who want to practise male chastity alone to do so, for some it’s never enough. Despite the majority of the experience being completely possible as a solo submissive, many of the responses we got from our customers stated that they felt they wouldn’t be doing “Total Chastity” until they find themselves someone to hold the keys and to truly submit to.

“I did my time on my own, but it never really clicked until I found Mistress. You can try all the neat tricks you want like giving the key to a friend or burying it in the garden, but you can always just go get it back. Once you’ve found someone to take that dominant role over you it really changes everything. To me that’s the step that takes it from just chastity to “total chastity”.”

Even though this point of view was fairly common amongst the chastity enthusiasts we spoke to, we always encourage those with an interest in chastity to give it a try even without a partner. It can help you explore the fetish, figure out which parts you like and dislike, and go into a partnered relationship more prepared with an idea of what you want to get out of it. There are also more and more products coming out to help support solo submissives such as app locking cages, and online keyholding services, which can give you an idea of what it’ll be like having a real Mistress, Master, or Dominant.

“Total Chastity Means More Than a Cage”

Anyone can put on a chastity cage. Anyone can wear one for hours or even days. But does that make them a chastity submissive? For many of our customers, the bit that comes after putting on the cage is what really defines “total chastity”.

“When I first started, I think I mind- gamed myself a bit. For some reason I thought once I’d bought a chastity device and put it on that would be it. Really though, it was only the beginning. Once the initial excitement wore off, reality started to set in. For me the things you do while you’re wearing the cage are so much more important than just the act of locking up your junk. Only once you start to live your life as a submissive do you truly start to experience “total chastity”.”

A lot of stores are only really in it to sell you a cage. Once they’ve made the sale, you’re left to figure out the rest on your own. Luckily there are plenty of resources online to help, including forums where you can talk to others who’ve gone through exactly the same process when they started out.

At Total Chastity, we want to be part of this process. That’s why we regularly post an array of chastity themed content that can help you not just with choosing and buying a cage, but what to do after you’ve put it on.

“Total Chastity Means Total Submission”

A slightly more philosophical answer that we got from some of our customers was focused on the submissive component of the chastity process. These answers were massively varied, but followed the same general theme that there was a moment during the experience where it truly felt that they were powerless and “became a true submissive”. For these individuals, that “moment” is what it means to experience “total chastity”.

“There wasn’t one specific thing that I can think of. It was more like I’d crossed a bridge and there was no going back. I’d gone through the motions for months and yeah, it was fun and interesting. But one day it just clicked. She was in control. My cock was hers. Nothing I said or did would change that. That was my “total chastity” moment.”

It’s difficult to pin down a specific thing that would give you this “moment”. All we can really do if you’re looking for it is to keep exploring and trying different aspects of chastity, experimenting and exploring to figure out what works for you.

“Total Chastity Means Total Chastity”

Hearing these points of view from our customers was a fascinating experienced which reaffirmed our own beliefs. Total Chastity isn’t about one specific thing. It’s the whole experience that matters, and it is deeply personal.

That’s why we aim to focus on providing as much of that experience as possible. From quality cages to in depth advice. From chatting to submissives and Dominants on social media to trying out as many cages as we can. Total Chastity is our mission, and we aim to deliver it to all who want to experience it–whatever that means to you.

This guest post contains sponsored links.

Header image for Nothosaur sponsored post about ejaculating dildos

How to Use Ejaculating Dildos and Squirting Dildos

Published on by Amy

Do you enjoy the sensation, or the idea, of having someone ejaculate inside you or on your body? Getting aroused by bodily fluids such as semen (cum) is very common. You might think that you need a partner to enjoy this particular kink, but that’s not necessarily true. Enter ejaculating dildos.

Ejaculating dildos, also known as squirting dildos, are designed to squirt a liquid out of the tip in a way that mimics a bio-cock ejaculating. They typically have a bulb, syringe, or similar receptacle inside which you can fill with liquid, and then a tube that connects this to the head of the toy. There will be something you can press or squeeze to have the toy ejaculate when you want it to.

Why Use an Ejaculating Dildo?

Ejaculating dildo by Nothosaur

Playing with bodily fluids such as cum can be extremely hot. However, it also carries some risks including STI transmission and unwanted pregnancy if you are a person who can get pregnant. You may not be willing or able to take those risks, or only be willing to take them within a very specific relational context. They also require a partner or partners. If you’re single or not in a relationship where fluid exchange is part of your dynamic, an ejaculating dildo can be an accessible and safe alternative.

In addition, ejaculating dildos allow you to experiment with and indulge various kinks, fetishes, and fantasies. We’ll look at some of those in more detail below.

How to Choose and Set Up an Ejaculating Dildo

Nothosaur ejaculating dildos gif

Many ejaculating dildos are still made out of unsafe materials such as jelly, PVC and latex. These materials are porous and often contain toxic additives such as phthalates, which should not be going anywhere near your body. Always look for an ejaculating dildo made from a body-safe material, typically silicone. Consider the size, shape, texturing, and aesthetic preferences that work for you, too.

Good ejaculating dildos are easy to set up, though the specifics will vary product to product. Manufacturers usually provide instructions along with their toys. Typically you’ll need to suck up your chosen liquid into the bulb or syringe and then reattach it to the tube and the toy.

It’s also important to learn how to clean your ejaculating dildo properly. Leaving liquids such as lube inside your toy can breed bacteria and may damage the toy or lead to an infection. Again, follow the manufacturer’s instructions here. In general, silicone can be boil-sterilised for a thorough cleaning. Plastic components can be cleaned with warm water and a gentle antibacterial soap or with a body-safe sterile wipe (I buy these from an online medical supplies store.) Take particular care in creases, crevices and small parts where fluids can build up.

Which Kinds of Lube Are Best?

Nothosaur ejaculating dildos

The most common liquid to use with an ejaculating dildo is lubricant. You have a few different options to choose from here, and it depends what your main goals are in using an ejaculating dildo.

If you want to simulate the feeling of a bio-cock ejaculating as closely as possible, then “cum lube” (which is designed to mimic the look, colour and consistency of cum) is your friend. Remember to pay attention to the ingredients if the lube is going to be going inside you. Avoid ingredients like glycerin, propylene glycol, and parabens. If the lube is just going to stay on the outside of your body, this is less of a concern.

If your toy is silicone, do not use a silicone-based lube as it may damage the toy.

What Kinks and Fetishes Can You Explore with Ejaculating Dildos?

Nothosaur ejaculating dildos

Everyone who is into ejaculating dildos enjoys them in different ways and for different reasons. But if you’re curious, here are a few of the kinks, fetishes and fantasies you can explore or play out using them.

Simultaneous Climax

In reality, both partners reaching orgasm at the same time during penetrative (vaginal or anal) sex is difficult to achieve. I advocate against making it a goal, because chasing it can just stress you out and take the fun out of things.

However, if you want to feel someone ejaculate inside you at the same moment that you climax, you can easily simulate this with an ejaculating dildo. Simply press the bulb or syringe at the right moment.

Threesomes or Group Sex

Threesomes and group sex are incredibly common fantasies, but not everyone can (or wants to) act them out in reality. However, you can simulate some aspects of the experience using toys.

For example, perhaps you’re into the idea of double penetration and having both partners ejaculate inside you at the same time. If so, using an ejaculating dildo along with being penetrated by your partner, and pressing the button on the dildo at the same moment that they climax, can provide a similar physical sensation. And if you’re single or playing solo, there’s nothing to stop you using two ejaculating dildos at the same time (though this might require some impressive physical dexterity but if you can pull it off, have at it!)

Cuckolding or Chastity

Chastity refers to restricting or inhibiting someone’s ability to orgasm, either through instructions or a physical barrier such as a chastity device. Cuckolding refers to getting turned on by your partner having sexual experiences with others, often as part of a submission or humiliation kink.

Ejaculating dildos can be a great addition to these kinks and fantasies without the need to involve third parties. For example, you can make your cuckold partner watch without touching themselves while your dildo ejaculates inside you. Adding dirty talk can make the experience feel even hotter and more authentic.

Bukkake

Bukkake refers to multiple people ejaculating onto the body or face of another person. It’s a surprisingly common fetish! Ejaculating dildos can be a safe and simple way to explore this kink, enjoying the physical sensation of having cum on your body and the fantasy of multiple partners ejaculating over you.

Impregnation

Impregnation kinks are also surprisingly common. This refers to being turned on by the idea of someone getting you pregnant.

The majority of people with this kink do not actually want to become pregnant, and certainly not every time they have sex. Many people play with it by having trusted partners ejaculate inside them without barriers while using birth control. Another easy way to play with this kink without the risk of actual pregnancy is to use an ejaculating dildo.

What Do YOU Like About Ejaculating Dildos?

With any kink, the most interesting question to me is always “what appeals about this to you?”. So ask yourself why you’re drawn to ejaculating dildos. What is it about them that you like? What fantasy or interest do they hit? Your reasons might not be the same as anyone else’s, and that’s great. Sex and kink are, after all, spaces of infinite variety.

Thanks to Nothosaur for sponsoring this post! Check out their range of ejaculating dildos, fantasy toys, and much more. All views and writing mine. Images and GIFs kindly provided by Nothosaur.